But even as the words left his mouth, he wondered how it could ever feel like home after the strange things that had occurred in the last month. With that thought, his smile faded.
“Don’t, Scott. Don’t do that,” Suzy commanded, her soft voice surprisingly strong.
“What?”
“Don’t let that thing…whatever it was, take away your love of this house. Don’t let it destroy all the good that happened here.”
“It’s kind of hard to remember the good when all these bizarre things keep happening. Strange sounds. Things falling off of tables and cupboards. That image appearing, looking like…” He couldn’t say her name out loud. It seemed wrong to call that ghostly image by Julie’s name.
“You aren’t being haunted. It’s not a ghost.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Because scripture is very clear about where a person goes when they die, and it’s not to return to frighten their loved ones. Most of what we hear about ghosts comes from peoples’ imaginations. Not the Bible.”
“What about what we saw in the clearing. Did that come from our imaginations?”
“Well…no. There’s not much in Scripture to make me believe in ghosts…but there’s quite a bit about demons or evil spirits.”
“Demons? Whoa! Back up a minute.”
“Demons like angels come in different varieties some are much more powerful and well, scarier. But if you prefer, I’ll just say there are dark spirits, oppressive spirits. They attach themselves to intense emotions like depression, anger, hatred, or guilt.”
Scott gave a quick start as she said guilt.
Suzy noticed his reaction. “What do you have to feel guilty about?” Her words sounded incredulous, as if he couldn’t possibly be guilty of any wrongdoing.
Silly, of course. But her attitude made him feel comfortable, safe enough to talk about it.
He rose from the floor and sat on the couch close to Suzy’s chair. His hands fell between his knees and clasped his fingers together. “A year ago I was on duty at the station. We answered a routine accident call. But there was nothing routine about it. A car full of teenagers swerved into the other lane, hit an oncoming vehicle. The teens were killed instantly. The other driver managed to turn her car slightly away, but she was pinned in. The officer on the radio said she was conscious, bleeding badly, and in terrible pain. We pulled up. I grabbed my gear, headed over, and then just froze. The woman in the car was my girlfriend, Julie.”
He gripped his fingers tighter, his anguish as fresh as if it had happened moments ago. “I just stood there, staring while she bled to death. My partner had to push me out of the way to get to her.”
He could still hear the sound of the machinery roaring to life as they tried to cut her free. His partner, shouting over the noise, telling him to protect Julie from the sparks while he tried to reach her legs, to stop the bleeding.
Finally able to move, Scott stood over her. He could see her life draining out of her, see the moment she recognized him, and the moment her lips shaped the words,
help me
. Then she was gone.
Scott realized he was gripping his fingers so tight, they were white. He released them and took a deep breath. “We couldn’t save her.”
He didn’t look at Suzy. He couldn’t. And if she repeated all the platitudes he’d heard before like “it was God’s will,” or “you did your best,” he would be disappointed. So far, this petite little woman, with the big green eyes and a pixie haircut, had said the right things, made him feel better. He didn’t want to be disappointed. Not yet.
“Of course the department sent me to counseling and did it all by the book, but nothing helped. I couldn’t put that night or my failure behind me. My pastor finally suggested I take a leave of absence. I decided to come here, where all my memories were happy. In the beginning everything was great. Then keys started falling off of counters, even when I knew I’d put them far back from the edge. Cabinet doors I closed opened again on their own. Sometimes at night, I thought I heard a woman crying somewhere in the house, but I could never find her. She sounded so sad, so disappointed.”
“And you thought it was Julie, because you failed to save her?” Suzy’s asked.
Scott quirked one eyebrow at the skepticism in her tone. “No, not at first. I didn’t think that until I saw shadows take the shape of a woman with Julie’s face. It even had long, dark hair like hers. Tell me that’s not what you saw in the clearing, and I’ll stop believing it.”
Her shoulders sagged. “I can’t tell you that. It did look like a woman with long hair. But I still don’t believe it’s Julie’s ghost. All you’ve said convinces me even more that it’s an oppressive spirit, trying to make you think it’s Julie.”
Scott shook his head. “If I were you, I’d be running far away. But you seem to be taking all of this in stride. How do you know so much about it, and how can you be so certain?”
Suzy’s lips lifted in a slight smile. “My uncle is a pastor. Unfortunately, he’s had experience with this.”
She reached across the space and grasped both Scott’s hands. “My uncle taught me that the war has already been won. Jesus defeated evil the moment He died up on that cross. The only power evil has over us is the power we give it…through our own sin. That’s why spirits attach themselves to our darker emotions, pride, anger, guilt.”
Growing uncomfortable, Scott shifted and loosened her hands from his. “So you’re saying this spirit attached itself to my guilt and uses Julie’s shape and my memories to make me feel worse? For what purpose? What’s the point?
“To keep you distressed, confused, and discouraged. Maybe even to destroy all the happiness created in this house. I don’t know. I just know it’s working.”
Her words struck a raw nerve. The truth always struck deep. He was losing all that was dear to him, all that he had left, and he couldn’t seem to stop it from happening. He was failing…again. And a tiny sprite of a woman had to explain it to him. That didn’t set well.
Maybe she was wrong. After all, how could a girl like her possibly know about loss or guilt? She was a trusting pixie with innocent eyes. She even had sunshine sprinkled across her nose! What did she really know about dark spirits...demons?
“Even if you’re right…and I’m not saying you are…how do I stop it? What do I do?”
“You don’t have to stop ‘it’, Scott. You have to stop you. The war has already been won. Jesus did that. All you have to do now is accept His gift.”
“I accepted Jesus into my life a long time ago.”
“Then you know you are forgiven,” she said so quietly, Scott almost didn’t hear her. “Now all you have to do is forgive yourself.”
She made it sound so simple. What did she think he’d been doing for the last year? He’d tried so many different ways to put it behind him, to forget and move on with his life. He thought coming here would make the difference. But then the darkness had come, blotting out the sunshine, the light and now, even the happy memories.
She didn’t understand, couldn’t possibly know how difficult it was. The disappointment he’d been trying to keep at a distance washed over him. He tried to prevent it from seeping into his tone, but he wasn’t very successful. “It’s getting late. We’d better get you home.”
Ignoring the crestfallen look on Suzy’s face, he put the dishes back on the tray and took them to the kitchen. Then he helped her rise from the chair, lifted her into his arms and carried her to his truck.
****
Idiot! Stupid! Dummy!
Suzy called herself fifteen different, foolish names as they drove home without a word. She didn’t even have to give him directions to her house. He knew the way to Heart’s Haven, so they traveled in heavy silence.
She’d scared him away with her talk of demons and guilt. He’d probably drop her off in front of her bungalow and drive away, never to be seen again.
Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut? Why did she have to spout off? Just nodding her head and sounding sympathetic would have been enough. It’s what her beautiful sisters probably would have done…and they always got the guy. Suzy turned her head away to look out the window.
But she couldn’t keep silent. Her Rochester…she had to stop calling him that. He certainly wouldn’t be hers after tonight.
Scott needed help. He was suffering, and she couldn’t keep silent. She had to offer him what help she could, even if the penalty for her help was the loss of the friendship.
Lord, help him. No matter what, help him.
Numb with disappointment, Suzy started to count the telephone poles along the highway.
Scott turned into the Heart’s Haven drive and finally broke the silence. “Which bungalow is yours?”
She pointed the way. He pulled up in front of the gate, turned off the engine, and came around for her. Suzy didn’t miss the irony as he carried her to the white picket fence and under the carved sign that read, “May Love Find All Who Enter.”
As he placed her gingerly on her feet, she said, “Thanks for all the first aid tonight.”
He held up a hand. “It’s the least I could do, Suzy, after the brave way you faced down the monster.”
“Brave,” she said with a laugh. “I was so brave, I tumbled all the way down the trail.”
“I meant me,” he said.
“Oh.” Suzy’s voice dropped to almost a whisper.
“I know I haven’t acted much like it, but I really do appreciate that you tried to help. Thanks.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He still smelled like forest and man. It was all she could do to pull herself away.
“Take care of yourself, Suzy.”
No words ever sounded more like good-bye.
4
The alarm woke Suzy the next morning. She tried to open her eyes in the dusky dawn and couldn’t manage it. She turned to flip off the alarm and sharp pain shot through her entire body. Suzy froze, afraid to move again. The alarm punctuated the air with frantic little beeps. Mustering her courage, Suzy forced her arm to move and hit the switch.
Every muscle in her body ached, and her knee throbbed with each effort. It was the worst possible time to take off from work, but there was no way she could make her body sit in a chair all day, let alone type at a computer. She lifted the phone, punched in the numbers and called in sick. Then she closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep.
The phone woke Suzy next. Raising her head slightly, she looked at the numbers on the clock. Ten AM. She’d slept for three more hours. The phone continued to ring as Suzy carefully inched her way to the edge of the bed.
“Hello.”
“Good morning. Did I wake you?” Scott’s voice sent a charge of electricity through her.
“No, no you didn’t.”
“Liar,” he said with a laugh. “You still sound sleepy.”
“I did just wake up. I’m trying to work up the courage to get up. I’m starving.”
“Maybe I can help with that. I’m in town to pick up a few things for the house. I thought I’d check on you before I went back. How about on my way, I pick up some pumpkin lattes and scones for the two of us?”
“I would love you forever if you did,” Suzy said the words before she thought about their meaning. When they finally sunk in, she was glad Scott couldn’t see her because warmth swept over her cheeks.
“Great. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Suzy said something appropriate before hanging up the phone. She lay back and basked in the glow of the moment. He wanted to check on her. She didn’t scare him off. He was on his way over.
Thank you, Lord.
She smiled. Then she remembered his words. Fifteen minutes.
It would take her that long to walk from the bed to the bathroom!
She hobbled to the shower. The hot water did a lot to ease some of the aches and pains, so she stayed in longer than she should have, especially since she was trying not to soak the bandage Scott had applied last night. Somehow, she got clean and got out with minimal damage. She dried off and stumbled into a pair of lounge pants and a matching tank just as the doorbell rang. Wiping away the condensation on the mirror, she brushed her teeth and fingered her hair into place. Thank goodness, it was short.
On the way to the door, she grabbed a sweater. The doorbell rang again as she limped across the room. “Coming!” she called out.
When she finally opened the door, Scott lifted a cardboard carry tray with two large, pumpkin lattes in one hand and a bag in the other. He looked tall and strong and so full of energy, Suzy had to fight the urge to lean in to him and rest.
“You sounded like you were in pain,” he said, concern in his features. His sweet, tender look did as much to undo Suzy as her injuries. Her legs turned to mush as she gestured him inside.
“It does hurt to walk.”
He glanced back at her. “Do we need to make a trip to the doctor?”
Is that why he was here? To see if she needed medical attention? Suzy’s energy suddenly seemed to flag, and she braced herself carefully as she sat on the couch. If she told him she was fine, would he disappear from her life for good?
“Here.” Scott placed the pillow from the other end of the couch behind her as she eased back. His concern felt wonderful and awful at the same time. It was oh so tempting to lie…just a little. Then maybe he’d stick around longer.
Suzy caught her lower lip with her teeth. Maybe it would be better if he left. Scott Lunsford made her think and do crazy things. He was a walking, talking temptation. Then again, perhaps it wasn’t Scott at all. Maybe the darkness that surrounded him wanted to push its way into her life, too.
“No, Scott. I don’t need to see a doctor. It’s just sore muscles,” she said, filled with sudden, fierce resolve.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” She sounded a little too fierce now. But even so, the room seemed a little brighter. The air a little less heavy. Scott’s smile was wide and bright.
“Good. I’d be happy to take you to the doctor, but I’d much rather sit here and enjoy these.” He pulled two large sinfully rich cinnamon rolls out of the bag.
Suzy opened the small carton, inhaled deeply, and closed her eyes. “Thank you, Lord, for this delicious food and for my Roch…my good friend Scott.”