Hated (Rock Star Trilogy) (7 page)

“She doesn’t want to be sick again….” I understand completely both his perspective and hers. “Maybe she thinks that she will become dependent on you. And it’s inevitable to her that you will leave. You’re a huge risk to her.”

“How am I unattainable? I want to be with her so bad sometimes that I can’t stand it.” His voice breaks.

“You’re a rock star, Alec. That’s a fantasy. It’s not
real
to her. She can’t comprehend why somebody like Alec Torch would want to date her.”

“That’s it?” he asks, almost angrily. “I would give all this up for her. If that is truly what she wanted, I would walk away right now and never look back.”

“You really like her
that
much?” I ask.

“Yes.”

I think about Stephan, and I completely understand where he is coming from. Even though I know it’s stupid. We are so young. But if he asked me to walk away today and move back to Florida, I would. I would quit the tour. I would quit the documentary. I would stop recording. And I would go home with him. But because he loves me as much as I love him, he doesn’t want that. He wants me to live out my dreams. He knows that I need this. I’ve found
him
, now it’s time for me to find myself.

“I don’t think Bridgett wants you to give up music for her,” I tell him. “I think she just needs more time. I do think you should give her a little space. Staying the night every night is probably a bit much. She was an only child until about five years ago. Your forward approach doesn’t work with her. Maybe you should try playing hard to get.”

“You’re right. I just want to be around Bridgett all the time.” He shakes his head. “I sound like a clingy, teenage girl. Wow, I am pathetic. But I can’t help it. She drives me mad!”

“I have a feeling that she feels the same way about you,” I tell him. “Until the bridge of the song, I really thought the lyrics were sweet.”

“I know, right? She wrote the bridge,” he says. “I swear, she likes to make me suffer!”

“
Suffer is a strong word…
”

Just then, the studio door opens. In walks Bridgett carrying four cups of coffee. She hands me and Alec ours, and sets one down at the mixing boards. She takes the last one for herself.

“So who is recording this?” I ask Alec. I’m
really
hoping they aren’t going to make me work with the guy I’ve always worked with. He always stares at my boobs.

“Otto,” he answers.

“Really?” I can’t help but feel excited. He was great to work with in Florida. “How did you get him to fly out here?”

“The record company paid him well. And I told them you wouldn’t record unless Otto was doing it.”

I hold up my fist, and he bumps his knuckles against mine. “You rock, Alec.” I then turn to Bridgett. “I love the song, by the way. I think it’ll be a big hit. You should write more songs.”

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun.” Bridgett looks at me, but she doesn’t acknowledge Alec. He sends me a pleading look. Like
I
can control her.

“Maybe me and you could write one,” I say. I’m just hoping to break up some of the tension. “I bet it would be awesome.”

“Maybe…” She sits down in the chair. I start to say something else, but Otto comes in.

We play the song for Otto and talk about our vision for it. At eight AM, the musicians show up and we get started. It’s days like today that I love my job. Spending time in the studio — singing and playing music, surrounded by other musicians — it’s the best feeling in the world.

5:57 PM

Want. Not wanted.

Normally, I’m excited to go home. Today, not so much. Today I know that Mona is going to be there, and I am worried. I hope that she and Stephan can get along. If not, it’s going to be very miserable until we leave to go on tour. Thankfully, Mona is
not
going on tour with us. Unfortunately, Alec and Bridgett
are
.

When I open the door and don’t hear screaming, I take it as a good sign. I walk into the living room and see Stephan and Mona sitting there. They are
actually
talking. It’s small talk, but still, they’re not killing each other. This makes me happy.

“Hey,” I greet Mona. “How was your flight?”

“It was good. I sat beside some drunk guy who was scared of flying,” she says. “It was very entertaining.”

I take a seat beside Stephan. “How are you holding up?”

She shrugs nonchalantly, but I can tell she’s very torn up over what happened. “It’s… I am… It may take a while for me to be okay. I didn’t think that him not being my biological father would matter, but I guess I was wrong. It’s hard.”

Stephan surprises me. “My dad would have loved you… Well,
our
dad, I suppose.”

“Do you think he knew? That I was his?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he answers. “I suppose it’s possible. I don’t understand what kind of relationship your mom and my dad had, but I would think they talked about it. It’s just he couldn’t do anything about it as long as she was with your dad. I’m sure neither of them wanted to split up their families.”

“What sucks is how this has affected us now. Maybe it would have been easier if we had known about it our whole lives…” Mona take a deep, sharp breath. “It hurts. And I bet they didn’t once stop to think about the consequences.
How could they think it would
never
get out
? And why did it get out after they died? I want to talk to my mom. I want her to explain it to me…”

“I’d love for my dad to explain it,” Stephan agrees. “I can’t understand what he did. I love Scarlett so much, I would never do something like that to her. I couldn’t.”

I smile at Stephan’s words but can’t help but think about my own screwed up life. Cheating really does tear up families — mine included. Of course, in Mona’s and my case, we wouldn’t be here if our parents
hadn’t
cheated.

“I don’t want to be mad at them anymore.” Mona’s voice comes out in a whisper, and then she looks up at Stephan. “I don’t want to be mad at you anymore.”

“So let’s not,” he says easily. “There is no reason for us to hate each other. You’re my
sister
, which I admit still feels weird to say, but we have to look out for each other. Really, we are all we have.”

“At least your mom loves you. My dad couldn’t even stand looking at me after I told him.” I can hear the anger in her voice, and I can’t blame her for being mad. “But you’re right…
You
are all I have left. I think we should definitely give this brother-sister thing a chance.”

“I want to,” Stephan agrees.

Mona turns to me. I think she’s desperate to get her mind off of everything. “So, Stephan updated me on how busy you’ve been. Crazy!”

“I know, right?” I sigh, thinking about all we have planned. “Tomorrow I’m spending the day in the studio again, and then leaving for New York right after. I have to do a few television interviews to promote the documentary.”

“New York! Wow!” I can see the stars in her eyes. “I’ve never been there before.”

“You can come with us,” Stephan tells her and then turns to me. “Right?”

I nod. “Of course! It’ll be great.”

“What about school?” she asks.

“Stephan and I have a tutor,” I tell her. “She is coming on Sunday, and we are going to catch up on like a weeks’ worth of school. You’re welcome to study with us. To be honest, with the documentary, you’ll probably be too busy to be in school anyway.”

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“Well, you’re on the show,” I remind her. “And you’re a pretty big part of my life, obviously… So MTV will probably have you doing promotional stuff too.”

“Oh…” I can tell she hadn’t thought about it before. A huge smile breaks out over her face. “So I’m going to be like…
famous
?”

I shrug. “I suppose.”

“Wow.”

“So you’re home early,” Stephan comments, looking at me. “I guess everything in the studio went well?”

I nod. “Very much. We actually have the song recorded. It sounds great. Tomorrow I am actually recording a different song. I can’t believe how well it’s going. Alec and I work very well together. And Otto is the best. Seriously. I need to work with him on like every project. He listens to me and does what
I
want instead of controlling it himself. Maybe I can convince him and Alec to produce every album from now on.”

“Your life is a fantasy,” Mona says. “You’re so lucky.”

“What do you want to do now?” he asks.

Sleep
, I think, but I know Stephan and Mona probably want to do something. “I don’t know. What do you want to do? There’s a lot of touristy stuff around here…”

“Actually,” Mona jumps in, “Stephan and I are going to Hollywood tomorrow. We are going to do some tourist stuff. He said that you would probably be too busy to come.”

I nod. “Yeah, sorry. I wish I could. In New York City, all my interviews are in the mornings. So I’ll be free all afternoon. We can do something fun there if you want.”

“How long are we going to be in New York?” Stephan asks.

“Well, I have a photo shoot Saturday morning here in LA, so one day,” I answer. “I have to be in the studio by five AM, but it won’t last long. I should be done by noon, and then we can hang out. Maybe we can go on the yacht again?”

“Sounds fun.”

Yeah. Fun. Except, of course, there is like
no
time for me to sleep. Ugh — this sucks. I can see now that it’s definitely going to be hard keeping up my relationships and my career.

One year, Scarlett
, I tell myself. But I know it’ll be more than just one year. My life will never be normal. The sooner I accept that, the better.

But I wanted this.

Want
. Not wanted.

7:30 PM

You’re in love.

After we left the studio, Alec actually followed my advice and went home. I think Bridgett is a little surprised that he isn’t here, but she isn’t saying anything. I decide to take the opportunity to talk to her about him. I’m hoping she doesn’t mind talking in front of the cameras, but honestly I think we’ve all gotten used to having them around.

“So, what’s going on with you and Alec?” I ask her.

She shrugs and averts her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Liar.”

“He’s a pain in my butt, that is what’s going on between us. He annoys me, and I tolerate him because I have to,” she answers with an eye roll. “That is it. Nothing else. And if Alec told you anything else, I will hurt him.”

I laugh, because I have no doubt that Bridgett could hurt him. Maybe not physically, but emotionally she could do some pretty bad damage. “You know he’s crazy about you…”

“No. He’s crazy about the
idea
of me. He’s probably never been with a virgin before, and I think it’s his mission in life to deflower me.”

“I think he’s in love with you.” Okay, I
know
he is, but I’m not telling her that.

“He may
think
he is, but I know guys like him. He doesn’t want me.” She sighs, almost sadly. “He thinks he wants forever, but he has no idea what he’s saying. He’s just being like that because of you and Stephan. I know that once we go on tour, girls will be throwing their panties at him, and he will be on a mission to screw as many girls as he can. Once he starts screwing his way through Europe, he will forget all about me.”

“You don’t
know
that.”

“Yes, I do. Been there, done that…”

I know she is referring to Martin. “Have you talked to Martin since him and Mia did what they did?”

She shakes her head. “I never walk to talk to him again. Ever.”

“Maybe you should. Before you can move forward maybe you need closure,” I suggest.

“No. I’m done, Scar. I am not going to talk to him ever again, and I’m not going to move
forward
with
Alec
. He will break my heart, and once he’s done he will forget all about me. It’s inevitable.”

“Okay. But I want to know one thing…” I pause for a second before asking. I’m hoping she doesn’t get mad at me. “Do you
like
Alec? As more than
just a friend
? And maybe even
more than like
?”

She doesn’t answer for almost twenty seconds. I swear, it’s the longest twenty seconds of my life. Then finally she says, “I like Alec a lot more than I should. But it’s not going to happen. I won’t allow myself to fall for the Hollywood Playboy. I will guard my heart.”

“Maybe you should take a chance.” I get up from the couch. “Stephan, Mona, and I are going to go out for sushi. Want to come?”

She nods. “Sure. I’m kind of sick of my own drama. I think listening to those two fight it out is exactly what I need.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Whatever you say.”

We both head into the foyer, where Stephan and Mona are waiting with the security team. Peter and the camera crew, as always, are right there.

“Will I ever have my privacy back?” I ask Peter, jokingly.

“Eventually,” he answers. “We are taking a week break from filming during Thanksgiving. So you should enjoy the break.”

“My mom wants to know if we are going home for Thanksgiving,” Stephan tells me.

Home
. There is nowhere else in the world I would rather be. “Definitely,” I answer.

We all pile into Bob’s big SUV. Once we are all packed inside, the camera crew follows us. Peter sits in the front, filming us. I guess he thinks he’s going to film something good. He’s going to be disappointed.

“My mom wants me to come home for Thanksgiving,” Bridgett tells us once we leave.

Oh.

Well, maybe Peter
will
get something interesting. “Are you going to go?”

“I don’t know. I would kind of like to get some answers, and she is the only one who can give them to me.” She looks sad as she tells me. “I thought about taking Alec with me for moral support. She wants to invite Martin over.”

“Seriously? Why would she do that after what he did to you?” I wonder.

“Well… She doesn’t
know
that he cheated on me. She thinks I just dumped him because we were drifting apart.”

“Right. And Alec isn’t really there to be a buffer between you and your mom. He’s there to be a buffer between
you and Martin
.”