Hated (Rock Star Trilogy) (13 page)

“It does. And look at us now! Obviously you give good advice.”

“I am
not
marrying Alec.”

“Maybe not today,” I joke. “But seriously, you’ve got to stop moping around. It’s driving Mona nuts, and she can be mean about things. Either date Alec, or don’t date him. I honestly could care less about the drama of it. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’ll try.” She sniffles her nose. “I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic.”

“It’s okay.” I turn to walk out, then stop. “Oh, just a heads up — Alec and I spend the holidays together every year, and this year won’t be the exception. You should probably mentally prepare yourself for it.”

“Ugh…” She groans. “I meant to ask you, are we really going to your dad’s for Christmas, or did you just say that so you didn’t have to deal with Stephan’s mom?”

“A little of both,” I say. “I really want to spend Christmas with Stacy and Anna. They’re going to be there. Are you okay with it?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Anything is better than Christmas with my mom.”

“What happened at Thanksgiving?” I ask.

The mention of Thanksgiving makes Bridgett cry even harder. I start to walk toward her to give her a hug, but she stops me. “No, I’m fine. Just go. I’ll try to be better tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. Right. We have a photo shoot. Like everybody that’s in the show. So, make sure you get plenty of sleep. You don’t want puffy eyes tomorrow.”

She laughs through her tears. “Too late for that,” she says, and then starts crying hard again. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No. But I never will be. Just go, Scarlett.” When she tells me to go, she’s looking at the cameras. I know that she doesn’t want this on TV, not that I can blame her. I hate having all my dirty laundry aired on TV. I know that Stephan and Mona hate having theirs aired the most.

I walk out the door and head to my own room. Peter and the crew
finally
leave, and I feel like I can breathe again.

Now I’m going to enjoy my time with my husband and wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.

Friday, December 4

9:17 PM

Magic tongue.

After spending two hours in hair and makeup, we are
finally
taking pictures. First, they took a bunch of us all, and now they’re taking pictures of Bridgett and Alec. Apparently they want to really push the whole
Bridgett-Alec
drama. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s funny. They have to do all these sexy poses, and now the camera guy is trying to convince them to kiss.

“This is great,” Mona says. “Seriously, I would totally watch the show. Even if I wasn’t one of the stars.”

Mona will watch the show anyway. I know Mona well enough to know that she’s going to
love
seeing herself on TV. And it’s not that she’s arrogant — she’s just that sure of herself. I think she’s the only person I’ve met that has more confidence than me.

I watch as Alec pulls Bridgett close. I can tell she’s
not
enjoying it. Which makes the cameraman angry. After he yells at her, they try again. This time when Alec pulls her close, she doesn’t look so disgusted. In fact, she looks like she’s rather
enjoying
the moment. And Alec isn’t trying to hide his enjoyment.

“This is kind of hot,” Stephan jokes. I nudge him with my elbow.

“Hey! That’s my sister.”

He laughs. “Seriously, look at them. You can feel the lust rolling off them. He wants her. She wants him. It’s only a matter of time.”

“When did you become the expert on relationships?” Mona asks him.

“I’m not an expert. I just remember that I used to look at Scarlett the same way that Alec looks at Bridgett…. Of course, Scarlett always returned the look. Bridgett does sometimes, but most of the time she just looks at Alec like she’s sad. She tries way too hard to hate him.”

“I am so done getting sucked into their drama,” Mona says, with an eye roll.

Wow. I actually agree with Mona.

“I wish somebody would look at me like that,” Mona says. “Seriously, I’m so sick of being around you guys. You’re so in love with each other. It makes me sick. And jealous.”

“I’m pretty sure Ethan looks at you like that. You’ve just never noticed,” Stephan says.

“Ethan is sweet. And he’s a great guy. But I want fireworks… No, not fireworks. I want fucking TNT. I want an earth-shaking explosion to happen every time we kiss…” She smiles at her description. “I won’t settle for anything less.”

This time last year, I would have laughed and said there was no such thing. But now I know there is. “You’ll find him,” I tell her. And it’s true. If anybody is going to find it, it’s Mona.

“Mona!” The director calls her over.

Bridgett and Alec’s awkward kissing scene is finally over, and Bridgett walks to the corner to sulk. Alec comes to stand by Stephan and me.

“That was awesome.” Alec smiles proudly.

“It looked like you enjoyed it immensely,” I say.

“Oh yeah. I took full advantage of that opportunity, and I showed Bridgett exactly what she’s missing.”

“I’ve heard all about your magic tongue.” I wish I were joking, but I’m not. I’ve heard it from way too many girls in Hollywood.

Stephan gives me a
what the fuck
look.

“Heard. Not experienced…” I say, but then remember… “Oh wait… That one time… But it was just a kiss…”

Alec laughs hard. “Oh my God, I totally forgot about that. I’m not the only one with a
magic tongue
. That kiss was the best kiss of my life, Scar.”

I glare at Alec, because I know he’s joking. It was a terrible kiss, and I threw up on him afterwards. “He’s just joking,” I tell Stephan.

“I am,” Alec confirms once he sees the look on Stephan’s face. “She threw up all over me after she downed Jager bombs all night. It was quite possibly the worst kiss of my life. I’m glad. Because if it was good, I would probably be the one married to her right now, and I’m too young and sexy to spend the rest of my life with just one woman.”

“Alec!”

“What? It’s true. You’re my best friend. If we had sexual chemistry, I would totally marry you. Maybe I should have anyway. At least you’re more decisive than your sister. I swear she’s so up and down…”

“Well, I wouldn’t have married you.” I roll my eyes at him.

“Scarlett, Stephan!” The director calls us.

Thank. God.

We walk over in front of the camera. They take hundreds of shot of us. Me sitting on his lap. Us holding hands. Cute kisses. And then we did quite a few sexy poses. After we did those pictures, they took more of me by myself, and some of me and Bridgett.

The photo-shoot literally lasts hours. But finally, around three, we get to leave.

3:11 PM

Misery business.

“I’m starving,” I say as we are leaving.

“We will have to grab something on the way,” Bridgett tells us.

“On the way? I thought we were done for the day…” I am frustrated. Beyond frustrated actually. I miss my lazy days back in Hope. I just want one day —
ONE DAY
— where I do absolutely nothing.

“MTV needs us to record voice-overs, and film commentary,” she explains. “I thought I told you…”

I’m suddenly regretting hiring her. My dad
never
forgot anything. I knew what I was doing every second of everyday. I keep telling myself that Bridgett is new and she will get used it. I hope I’m not wrong.

“Maybe you were too busy crying over Alec…” I snap.
Crap.
Why did I say that?

Where is the rewind button when you need one
?

“You’re right,” Bridgett says in a calm voice. It’s too calm. “I’m sorry.”

Wow. Now I feel even worse. Maybe I would feel better if she overreacted. She needs to yell at me — or slap me… something. “I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she says. But I know it’s not. I can tell I hurt her feelings.

We grab food on the go, and head over to the studio. The limo ride is quiet and awkward. Bridgett refuses to talk to Alec. Alec refuses to leave Bridgett alone. Mona is saying cryptic things that make us
all
uncomfortable, and Stephan is still mad about the
magic tongue
comment Alec made about me earlier.

This is just one big bag of fun
… Wouldn’t it be awesome if they really made bags of fun? They could put it next to the potato chips. I would totally open it right now if I had one.

The car comes to a stop, and we all walk inside. Paparazzi are snapping pictures of us, and Mona stops to do a couple of cute poses before walking inside with us. I can’t help but laugh. She was
totally
made for this life.

“Can’t let you take all the attention,” Mona says to me.

Of course not. God forbid if Mona isn’t the center of everybody’s universe.

Gah —
now I’m getting cranky
.

I need a whole day by myself. No Alec. No Bridgett. No Mona. No Stephan.
NOBODY
. Just me, my bed, and a ton of junk food. That sound perfect.

We start with commentary. They take us all back to separate rooms. I watch the show and make comments about it on camera. They’re trying to recapture what I was feeling at the time. The first thing that they show me is the very first time we were filmed. We were on the airplane, and Alec was holding the camera. He put the camera in my face and asked me how I was feeling… I responded by saying, “
I’m feeling like shoving that camera up your ass
.”

I laugh.

“Alec is possibly the most frustrating and cheerful person on the planet. I’m on my way to kick my mom out of my house, and he tries to make me feel better with humor. I love him for it, but I also hate him for it.”

“That was good, Scarlett,” they tell me. They continue playing the video, and I watch myself kick my mother out. I can’t help the tears that fall from my eyes. Even now, watching it is emotional.

“I’ve never felt like my mom loved me. I guess I always hoped it wasn’t true, but it is. She didn’t want me or Bridgett.” I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head on the tops of them. I take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would be so emotional.”

“Do you love your mom?” the person recording asks me. “Repeat the question.”

“Do I love my mom? Yes, of course I love her. If she came to me today and asked me to forgive her, I would. I totally wish she would.”

Next they show Ethan and me talking in history class. He’s telling me about his mom’s suicide.

“Are you sure you want to air this? This is
really
personal for Ethan.”

“He signed the contract.”

Next they show video of Mona and me talking in the cafeteria at school, and then us leaving. They show the dash camera conversation. I remember that day clearly. I’m glad that I told Mona not to talk in the car. Though I guess it doesn’t matter now. Then they show Mona and me running into the bathroom, away from the camera.
 

“What happened in the bathroom?”

“In the bathroom, Mona told me that Stephan was her biological brother. And I guess part of me
knew
before this, but I was still shocked.”

“Talk about it like it just happened. Like Stephan doesn’t know yet. The audience wants to know what you’re feeling at the exact moment,” he explains.

I re-word what I said, trying to match what I was feeling at the time. I remember being scared to tell Stephan, but also scared to
not
tell him.

I spend about four hours in the room. I did commentary for two episodes. We are supposed to finish up Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. When I come out, everybody but Mona is waiting for me. Of course Mona is still in there. She’s going to hog as much camera time as she can.

“You knew all that time that Mona was my sister, and you didn’t tell me?” Stephan asks. He looks a little upset. Not that I can blame him — I would be mad at me too.

How am I even supposed to respond? “She asked me not to. I was going to tell you, but I figured it was her place. Are you mad?”

“You’re right. It was Mona’s place to tell me. I can’t believe she put you in that situation.” Stephan looks less upset.

“It’s the past. You wouldn’t have even known if it wasn’t for the documentary. I’m over it,” I tell him.

Finally, Mona emerges from the back room. One of the editors follows her. He looks annoyed. I’m sure he’s going to have to cut a lot of her talking out. “The first episode is going to air on Tuesday night. It will look a little different than what you saw in there, since we’re adding the commentary. Don’t be surprised if we make it look more dramatic than it is, because that’s our job… We will see you Monday.”

Lovely
.

Tuesday, December 8

7:08 PM

Can’t play guitar.

“
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT
!” Bridgett is yelling at Alec because he told the whole world that he’s madly in love with Bridgett Evans. And that he would hurt any guy who ever looked at her. Because she’s his.

And now, my house is officially war ground.

Mona holds out the bowl of popcorn to me. “Want some? Because seriously, this is even better than watching the actual show.”

Bridgett takes off her flipflop and swings it at Alec. She misses him by inches — literally. Who knew that a shoe could be used as a weapon? She swings again, so Alec runs. Bridgett chases him through the house.

“DON’T BREAK ANYTHING!” I yell to them.

A few seconds later, Alec runs through the living room.

“I wasn’t joking,” Alec tells her. He stops behind the couch, and she is in front of the couch. “I will hurt any guy who tries to date you. You’re mine. The sooner you figure that out, the better.”

“
I am not yours, Alec Torch! And I NEVER will be
.” She runs toward the back of the couch, and Alec runs to the front.

“Oh, you will be.” He has so much confidence in his voice, and I don’t doubt his words. Bridgett may be stubborn, but Alec is in love.

“I will not!” she yells. “
Stop saying that
.”

“You love me,” he says. “You should just admit it.”

Bridget growls. Like freaking
growls
. And then the jumps
OVER THE COUCH
, and onto Alec.