Harrowing Hats (20 page)

It was a brilliant plan. I had to admit it as we all walked down the cobblestones toward the Dungeon. The twins looked mysterious and angry. Camera flashes continued to go off like sunspots. Chase held my hand as we approached the stocks, their wood frames stained from squishy tomatoes and other vegetables thrown at perpetrators.

“I have to get my wig and robe,” Chase whispered. “Will you be okay out here for a minute?”

“I will. Go ahead. Believe me, when this is over, I have something major to tell you and Detective Almond.”

“That’s why they’re doing this?” He threw the evil twins an angry look, left brow raised. “Don’t worry. It will be over quickly.”

I knew better. Already, King Harold and Queen Olivia, attended by most of their court, were out in carriages to see the spectacle. There had to be four or five hundred people gathered around to watch—which is why we
usually
do resident justice before the Village opens.

“What’s going on?” Lord Dunstable called out from his place behind the king and queen in the carriage. It was his job to announce events at the King’s Feast and to ask questions that Livy and Harry didn’t want to ask. It might sound vulgar coming from the king and queen.

“Lady Jessie Morton stands accused of stealing,” someone from the crowd yelled out. It sounded like Fred the Red Dragon, though I couldn’t see him to be sure.

“She took some diamonds from the gem shop,” someone else yelled out. That sounded suspiciously like Bawdy Betty from the bagel shop. If anyone belonged in the stocks it was her. She was always hitting on Chase, right in front of me. Of course, I’d have to start a list for that offense.

“Impossible!” King Harold actually stood up and roared back. “We do not believe Lady Jessie is a thief. We demand she be released as a member of the nobility. We shall handle this problem ourselves.”

I appreciated the sentiment and was surprised by it. Of course it drove the common people in the crowd crazy. I suppose that’s what happened in the French Revolution. At least we didn’t have a guillotine in the Village.

“She was sleeping on the cobblestones this morning,” one of the Lovely Laundry Ladies added. “She was alone. Nowhere to stay. Not a crust of bread to eat. Desperate, she was. Have mercy on her, Sir Bailiff.”

“Wait!” Brother Carl called out from behind me. “This is not true. The Lady Jessie was with us. She was neither desperate nor alone. I do not believe she has committed the crime she stands accused of.”

“Thanks,” I whispered as he put his arm around my shoulders.

Chase appeared at the Dungeon door to loud cries for justice from the crowd. Even the little kids were yelling for me to be put in the stocks. He looked stern and very un-Chase-like in his big white wig and long black robe. “Justice will be done this day, I vow!” Again loud cheers went up from the crowd.

“I would speak on behalf of the Lady Jessie,” Roger from the Glass Gryphon said. “I have known her well for a long time. She was my apprentice at the glass-making shop, where all our blown glass figures are half off for today only. She is a good woman. If anyone belongs in the stocks, it is her lover, Bailiff Chase Manhattan, who abandoned her to this fate. And there is free gift wrapping for all purchases before closing time today.”

The crowd seemed unsure if they should yell
huzzah
or repeat the cry for justice after that infomercial. Of course, Roger thought Chase should be in the stocks. He’d disliked Chase since Adventure Land decided he should be bailiff instead of Roger. It was nice for Roger to speak up anyway—even if it was only to take advantage of the crowd.

Chase finally held up his hand for silence. The crowd fell quiet, waiting to see what would happen next. “The plaintiff—speak your piece, and mind you tell the truth or face our justice yourselves.”

Rene and Renee made their way to the front of the crowd. “We request a moment alone with the bailiff and the accused.”

Chase nodded and the four of us stood by the Dungeon door. I hoped we could wrap this up before the crowd got restless. There were three large bushels of ripe tomatoes within hands’ reach of too many people. They were as likely to pelt Chase and the evil twins as me if they had to wait too long.

“Let’s settle this quickly,” Chase echoed my sentiments. “You made this a sideshow, Rene. What do you want?”

“I want Jessie’s word that she’ll keep her mouth shut about what she may have overheard today in the shop. In return, we’ll pretend we found the diamond and everything will go back to normal.”

“You must be crazy.” I glared at both the evil twins. “For one thing, this crowd isn’t leaving without seeing someone get hit with tomatoes. They won’t care who it is. Ask Chase if you don’t believe me. You haven’t been here long enough to know about these things. You should’ve considered it before you dragged all of us into it.”

Rene started to speak and I stopped him. “Besides all of which, this, in case you haven’t noticed, isn’t real. The worst that would happen is we all get covered in tomatoes and I go upstairs and take a shower. You two hired someone to ransack Andre’s shop, possibly set him up to take the blame for Cesar’s murder, and who knows what else. Not to mention that you believe he killed your mother, Kathleen Hariot. He’s your stepfather.”

Rene’s upper lip showed a sheen of perspiration. He looked very put out. “And while we’re talking about real-life events, Jessie, what will happen when we call the Myrtle Beach police and Adventure Land to accuse you of this theft? We might never successfully prove it in court, but your time here would be at an end. Your reputation would be ruined. Is it worth all that to tell everyone that Hariot is our stepfather and we hate him? That, after all, is all you have. The private detective came here on his own, as he would testify. Consider your choices carefully.”

I knew he was right. He could make my life bad, both here and at the university. In the meantime, all I had was the basic information that he wanted to blame his stepfather for his mother’s murder. I wasn’t sure if it was worth it. But I was too angry to let it go. At that moment, I didn’t care what happened after everyone knew the truth about them.

“I’ve heard enough,” Chase decided. “Let me tell you what’s going to happen here. Because someone is going to end up being pelted with tomatoes no matter what any of us say, we’re going to go forward with the idea that Jessie was homeless and desperate. Rene, you’ll tell everyone—right now—that she’s given the diamond back to you.”

Rene and Renee looked incredibly smug. I knew Chase had to do something to appease the crowd. I wasn’t sure I was happy about it. Forget it—I
wasn’t
happy about it. But there was no way around it.

“But let me add that I’m going to recommend that Detective Almond question the two of you in regard to Cesar Rizzo’s death. You better be ready to come forth with the man’s name that you hired and I hope for your sakes that he tells the same story. That’s my judgment. Any questions?”

The evil twins knew they were bested. They shook their heads, then we all turned to face the crowd. I was glad I wasn’t wearing my own clothes. Tomato stains are hard to get out. Even Portia couldn’t fault me for what was about to happen.

“Good people of Renaissance Faire Village!” Chase got everyone’s attention, his hands held high. “We have reached a verdict.”

The crowd had swelled again while we were talking. They cheered loudly, then waited to hear Rene tell them that I had returned the diamond to him. “My sister and I hold Lady Jessie in the greatest respect. For us, this trial is over.”

The evil twins pushed their way back through the crowd. In the meantime, the large group was beginning to sense that they might be cheated of their diversion. I didn’t want to think about the stampede for tomatoes that could ensue. I started to step forward and let them know that vegetable justice was coming. The sooner it was over, the better, as far as I was concerned. I’d been in the stocks several times. It wasn’t really that bad. The hardest part was getting the tomato smell out of my hair.

But before I could take my place in the wooden frame, Chase removed his wig and robe. “Good people,” he called out. “Lady Jessie is not to blame for losing her home. I am the culprit behind this situation. I was the one who put her out on the cobblestones. As such, I reserve the right to take her place in the stocks.”

I don’t know where Diego and Lorenzo, the Tornado Twins, came from, but they were up there with us, telling everyone that they would dispense vegetable justice. Roger put Chase in the stocks before I could raise a word of protest. The crowd shifted position to avoid any tomato residue, then waited for the end of this drama.

There were loud cries of
huzzah
before the tomatoes began to fly. Ladies wept and gentlemen acknowledged Chase’s sacrifice on my behalf.

Only a handful of tomatoes actually hit Chase before the crowd began to lose interest. The Village Crier came by to let everyone know that the Templar Knights were about to meet the Queen’s Champions on the Field of Honor. Within five minutes, everyone had dispersed to one end of the Village or another.

I ran to Chase’s side and released him. A tomato caught me square in the side of the face. “Oops!” Diego grinned. “Sorry! My bad.”

“Time to leave,” Lorenzo said, his hands red with tomato juice. “We were happy to help you out here, Chase. Please remember us for any future tomato-throwing needs that might come up for you.”

I looked at Chase’s tomato-stained face and laughed, kissing him with my own tomato-stained face. “Why did you do that? I was prepared to take it. You’re the bailiff. You aren’t supposed to be in the stocks.”

He put his arm around me. “I wasn’t going to let you go through that in front of all those people. Give me some credit.”

“Never mind. Thanks for trying to rescue me from the tomatoes anyway. I’ll get Diego later. Right now, I think we both need a shower.”

“I agree.”

“What about Rene and Renee?”

“They aren’t going anywhere. We’ll deal with them later.”

A
fter we were both clean again, Chase left a message for Detective Almond on his voice mail, then apologized to me. “I have to go over to the pirate ship. Someone dropped a cannon ball on deck and the ship might be damaged. Everyone is a little paranoid about rebuilding another ship.

The good ship
Queen’s Revenge
was in its second incarnation after its maiden voyage, when someone thought it would be a good idea to use real cannons. The fire that resulted burned the ship to the water.

“That’s okay. It’s your job, right?” I kissed him, hoping he was telling me the truth this time. “I have to get my stuff from Andre’s. I’ll see you later. We’ll talk about the private detective the twins hired who stuck a gun in my side last night.”

“He had a gun on you?”

“He got away after he reported to the evil twins. There’s so much going on in the Village that you don’t know about. Whatever they have you doing is taking too much time away from being bailiff. And from me.”

“I’m sorry, Jessie. I didn’t know it would come to this. I promise I’ll explain everything later.”

“Yes, you will.”

“Jessie?”

“Hmm?”

“No more sneaking around looking for killers. I don’t know if Rene and Renee are hands-on with this, but they could’ve hurt you.”

“They weren’t holding me at gunpoint asking me questions,” I reminded him. “And I wasn’t sneaking around when that happened. I was looking for
you
.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“Next time, call me before you come up with any scheme that could put you in danger.”

“I will.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Really.” I smiled. “But I don’t have a radio.”

“Let’s not start that again. Radios are only for Village security. I have to go.”

“I’m just saying—you want me to call you? It’s hard to yell over everything going on around here. How am I supposed to call you without a radio?”

“Leave the investigation to me or the police and you won’t have to.”

“Okay.” I ran a comb through my hair. “I’ll see you later. Looking forward to hearing all about why you were sneaking around the Village.”

I’m sure we both knew what he was asking me wasn’t going to happen. We both knew about Rene and Renee being related to Andre and possibly Cesar’s death because I snooped where I shouldn’t have been.

I was a valuable asset to both Chase and Detective Almond even though I was underappreciated. Sometime it would dawn on both of them that I made all the difference. Chase would want to give me a radio—Detective Almond would command him to do so. I would finally possess the only modern-day invention allowed in the Village besides the cash register.

I tried to imagine what Chase was keeping from me but couldn’t.
They
were asking him to do things without telling me. At least he didn’t say
she
was asking him to do things. It had to be Adventure Land. It was his mistress when I was there or in Columbia. I’d be jealous if I didn’t love her so much, too.