Authors: Rebecca Yarros
“So jealous, that one,” Luke whispered at me. “Shall I make her day even better?” he asked Josh, then looked over at my puckered forehead and handed the phone to Mom. Then he took a white envelope out of his gray blazer pocket and handed it to me. “I asked if I could deliver this one personally.”
The envelope was thin in my hands, but heavy in implication. I held it up so Josh could see.
“Well, open it,” he said, leaning in to the monitor.
I wet my suddenly dry lips and ripped the envelope carefully. Then I opened the tri-fold letter and began to read. “Dear Ms. Howard, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted for the Ephesus Fall Dig program! Ahhh!” I shrieked and jumped, nearly losing my balance in my heels. “I got in!” I waved the envelope at Josh.
“I knew it! God, babe, I’m so happy for you!” His smile was just as big as mine, and in that moment, it didn’t matter that he was eight thousand miles away—he was right there with me.
And for that small second, that huge minute…it was enough.
It was everything.
Chapter Eleven
Josh
“You want to do my area orientation flight, or what?” Will’s voice snapped me out of the study guide I’d had my face in for the last hour.
“Holy shit!” I stood, knocking my chair to the ground, and hugged him. “It’s about time you got here, West Point.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He slapped my back. “I bet you say the same thing when I get home three months after you, too.” He grinned and dropped his backpack on the table.
“I think I may have actually missed you, but the verdict isn’t in yet.”
Will arched an eyebrow but handed me a vacuum-sealed plastic bag. “Well, I know for a fact that you miss her.”
“No fucking way.”
Ember.
I grabbed a pair of scissors off the desk and cut into the bag, the smell of strawberry-cheesecake cookies wafting through my room. I shoved one in my mouth. “Oh my God,” I moaned.
“Would you like me to leave you alone with your baked goods?”
“Want one?” I asked, offering him the bag.
He’d better recognize the sacrifice.
He shook his head. “It means a ton that you’d offer, but she gave me a few, and I’m not coming between that relationship.” He sighed. “She also wanted me to give you a kiss, but I’m going to pretend that never happened.”
“Good call,” I said, popping another cookie in my mouth.
Slow down and save a few. There’s only a dozen here.
They tasted like home, like Ember on rainy days when she baked insane concoctions. They tasted like kitchen sex and love. I made myself fold the bag over then hid it in the trunk under my bed.
“Have a problem with cookie thieves?” Will asked.
“Jagger has shown up twice in the last month, and I swear, he’s devoured the last two batches she’s sent. I’m always glad to see him, but he needs to lay off my fucking cookies.”
“Noted.”
“Where did they get you set up?” I asked, grabbing my flight suit top and slipping my arms through the sleeves.
“Just another building over. I got here a few days ago, but we’ve been on opposite shifts.”
I paused mid-zip. “You’ve had my cookies over there for three days?”
He didn’t blink. “I could have left them in the Op center, but I figured they’d be gone by the time you saw her pretty handwriting on the bag.”
I pointed my finger at him. “You know what…fine. Let’s get you oriented so you can get on the schedule.”
I shot Ember a quick text on the international cell while on our way to the flight line. That thing was worth every penny we spent on it. Fuck, the battery was dying.
Josh: Hey babe, i’m headed to work.
We headed to the aircraft, and a few minutes later the phone dinged.
December: Fly safe. I love you.
Josh: Will got here, and the cookies are amazing. I love you, too. Phone is dying. i’ll give you a call tomorrow afternoon your time
.
I turned the phone on silent and stuck it in my vest pocket as we did the run-up on the aircraft. Captain Trivette was flying with me again today, and she tossed a half smile back at Will. “You the new guy?” she called over the coms as the rotors fired up.
“Yes, ma’am,” he answered, belting into one of the back seats.
“Welcome to the sand box. We’re going to give you a little tour.”
“Welcome to the sand box!” Rizzo sang with one hand on his chest, giving his best Elvis impression.
Captain Trivette shook her head. “Take us out, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, ma’am.” We launched, the ground falling away from us in a series of squares and zigzags. We headed north toward Tarin Kowt, or TK, where Jagger was stationed, while Captain Trivette gave Will a quick course in the area.
Man, it was nice having Will here. It felt like flight school, except for the whole foreign country, hostile enemy thing.
Twenty minutes in, I was enjoying the flight, something I hadn’t had much opportunity for in-country. Will asked questions from the back, and either Captain Trivette or Rizzo answered him.
Near the Tor Ghar mountains, the radio crackled. Troops were in contact nearby.
“Do we respond?” Will asked.
“Nothing to do yet, Lieutenant Carter,” Captain Trivette answered. She checked the fuel and then took the controls. “It won’t hurt to be nearby since we’re already out.”
My heart jumped in anticipation as she altered our course toward the mountains. Two Apaches came on the frequency, responding.
“Now what?” Will asked.
“Now, we wait,” I responded, looking back over my shoulder at him. “You ready to become a man? All buckled in?”
“Yes, Mom.”
I tossed him a one-fingered salute with a grin and watched the mountains approach.
“Gun one-one.” One of the Apache pilots came on the radio, his voice instantly familiar. Jagger.
Holy shit.
“In pursuit of target. Follow?”
My stomach lurched. “Carter,” I called back. “That’s Bateman.”
He instantly sat straighter, on alert just like I was.
The other helo came on. “Gun one-two, I have your six.”
Calls for air support came across the radio, and the Apaches responded. Tense moments passed, but no medevac call was sounded. My shoulders sagged in relief as the ground troops called up their thanks.
“He’s all good,” I called back.
Will threw a thumbs-up, then lowered his head to his hands for just a second.
“Gun one-one, headed back to FOB,” Jagger called out, and I breathed a hell of a lot easier. I’d always known it was a possibility we would cross paths on a mission, but it wasn’t something I wanted to— “Fuck!” Jagger called out. My breath froze in my chest. “What was— Fuck, we’ve been hit! We’ve lost our tail rotor.”
I lunged forward in my seat like I could physically get to him, as my stomach plummeted to the ground hundreds of feet beneath me. The belts held me back. “Go!” I shouted to Captain Trivette. She’d already changed our heading toward the last known location.
“Mayday, mayday,” Jagger called over the radio. “We are going down. Repeat, we are going down!”
No. No. No.
I was too far away. I couldn’t get to him, couldn’t save him. Couldn’t stop this from happening.
Jagger.
Every moment of our friendship flashed through my misfiring brain—hockey, rooming together, moving to Alabama, graduating flight school, that last barbecue before we left. He was the closest thing I had to a brother.
And I was fucking helpless.
The crumpling blast on the radio broke me into a million pieces, but the silence…it eviscerated me.
“Fallen Angel! I repeat, Fallen Angel!” Gunman one-two called over the radio. “They’ve gone down!”
Fallen Angel. Helicopter down.
The cry that came from my throat was animalistic, inhuman. “Jagger!”
Will reached through from his seat, putting his hand on my shoulder.
My best friend. My brother. He had to be alive. There was no other option.
“Gunman one-two, this is Dustoff one-two inbound. What is your current position?” Captain Trivette was steady on the stick and in her voice. I input the coordinates we were given, and she nodded. “We are three minutes out.”
It was the longest three minutes of my life.
“He’s alive, Walker. Even a helicopter crash couldn’t take down Jagger Bateman,” Will called on the com, but his voice shook.
He’s alive. He has to be. He’s alive. God. Paisley. The baby.
“Gunman one-two, what’s the status of an LZ?” Captain Trivette asked.
“We’ve got ground troops headed there on foot, but it’s cherry red, Dustoff. We’ve taken a few shots in our direction. I’m not even sure you can land near the site.”
Captain Trivette locked eyes with me, her face set and somber. “Are we in?”
“Yes!” Will shouted.
Rizzo hesitated for the smallest of seconds, then called out, “In!”
“Fuck, yes!” I damn near screamed. Every second we wasted was another that he could be bleeding out…if he’d survived the impact.
He survived.
We flew over the ridgeline and into the valley, the Apache providing cover overhead. Figures darted beneath us, and an unwelcome sense of foreboding lodged in my throat as the walls of the valley rose above us like we were being lowered into a grave.
“Damn it. Could this be a worse location?” Captain Trivette asked as we moved further up the valley.
“There!” I shouted, pointing to the plume of black smoke mixing with the rising dust.
“Shit,” Will said.
Jagger’s bird lay on its side, a mangled mess, rotors torn off, and looking at the terrain along the hillside he was smashed against, he must have rolled down a fair share of it.
He’s alive. That’s the only option.
Gunshots pinged, hitting us in the side. “We’re taking fire. We’ve been hit,” Captain Trivette radioed, her voice calm and collected. “Aircraft is stable.”
“Everyone okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Rizzo answered.
“We can see daylight back here,” Will added. I turned in my seat to see bullet holes in the sliding doors.
Fuck.
“Seems like a good day to die,” I muttered.
“Roger that, Dustoff one-two, we’re trying to cover you,” Gunman radioed. They came in closer, laying down fire along the ridgeline.
I scanned the valley floor as my heart threatened to pound out of my chest. “There,” I said, pointing to a relatively flat section. “We can put down there.”
Captain Trivette nodded, her full concentration on the bird. We passed just over Jagger’s crash site on descent, but from its angle, I couldn’t see anything but the belly of the aircraft.
Ping! Ping!
Glass cracked. My head snapped to the left as Captain Trivette heaved forward, blood streaming from her helmet.
She’s dead. Holy shit, she’s dead.
Her body slammed into the controls, putting us into a dive.
“Shit! We’re hit! Fuck!” I gripped my controls and pulled back, but I couldn’t compensate for her body weight on hers. There was no way to recover, not this close to the ground. “We’re going down! Brace!” I yelled, but it was too late.
December.
Her name was my only prayer.
The ground rushed up to meet us at a terrifying speed.
There was nothing I could do to slow us down, to change the angle, to—
Chapter Twelve
Ember
I grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge and met Paisley outside next to the fire pit after our morning hike. “We could have stayed in Alabama another few days. I wouldn’t have minded,” I said as I took the chair closest to her.
We’d spent most of the weekend at Fort Rucker for her graduation, and even though her parents were stationed in New York, it had been nice to hang out with Morgan for a couple days.
I’d kept the conversation with Will to myself.
“Thanks,” she said, taking one of the bottles and twisting the top. “I just wanted to be in our house. I feel him here, you know?” Her hand rubbed over her belly absentmindedly.
“I understand perfectly. We might not have been here long, but it’s our home. His clothes are here, his pillow, our life.” I took a sip of my water, relishing the coolness in the Tennessee heat. “Remind me why you decided hiking was a good idea?”
She laughed. “It’s good for us. You’re not getting out of it, either. We’re going again in the morning. Besides, school is over, and you have almost three months until you fly to Turkey. We have to fill our time productively.”
“I’m still not sure I’m going,” I admitted quietly. “I mean, I’m ninety-eight percent sure I am, but there’s still this tiny part of me that says not to. You’re pregnant, and the guys are deployed, and I’m, what, going off gallivanting in Turkey?”
“We can’t always be wrapped up in them. Not if we’re supposed to thrive in this life. We can love them—heck, you and I both know that was never a choice, not with men like ours—but we need our own lives. We can’t lose ourselves in them.”
“It’s really the chance of a lifetime.”
Paisley leaned across the distance that separated our chairs and took my hands. “Then you go. I’ll be fine. Morgan can come for the rest of the summer, and you’ll be back at the beginning of October. I’m stronger than you think.”
“I know you are. I just don’t want you to be alone in this.”
She smiled, radiant with a happiness she seemed to carry with her at all times. “One, I’m never alone.” She patted her belly. “Two, the guys might not be here, but they’re with us. But you and I…we both have amazing adventures coming. You owe it to yourself to go.”
“What if something happens?” I whispered.
She squeezed my hands. “That kind of heartache wouldn’t care where you are, Ember.”
She was right. Where I was had nothing to do with what Josh was doing. If anything, going now would use our time apart to the best advantage.
I checked in with Sam while I gathered up the pile of grad school applications I’d been avoiding, but hearing Grayson in the background made me miss Josh even more, so I made an excuse and got off the phone. Sam was happy, and she deserved to be. She didn’t need my issues pulling her down right now.
Settling in with the applications, I cued up the DVR to catch up on what I’d missed while studying for finals.
Maybe it was because it was a Saturday, but I missed him more today than usual. Saturdays had always been our days. Even when we lived far apart, it was the one day of the week I woke up with him and fell asleep in his arms.
What was he doing? I’d texted hours ago, but he was probably still on shift. I grabbed my cell phone and shot off a quick message.
Ember: I bet you’re flying, but I wanted to tell you a quick I love you.
I hit send and fidgeted on the couch. Without school, and Turkey still three months away, I was sure to go out of my mind.
Paisley knocked and came in without waiting. “Okay,” she drawled. “I cannot sit in that house today. Let’s go shopping for the nursery?”
I sighed in relief. “I’m so in. Let’s get out of here.”