Authors: Sheila Horgan
AJ didn’t even have to introduce me. I took that as a good sign in the relationship department. She invited me to call her Nana, which seems kind of weird, I’d never met her or anything, but it was sure easier than calling her Grandma, because I’ve had two grandmas, both of them have passed, but I’ve never had a Nana, although I did have a Granny, but Nana is new to me.
My grandmother used to describe people as ‘a delight’. I never really understood the term, until I met Nana.
She has this really lovely, really wrinkled face. On her, those deep lines tell a story, and the story is that the woman has spent a lot of her life with a smile. She has blue eyes that sparkle, even in hospital lighting. She uses her hands when she talks, so the IV was causing her fits, but instead of being annoyed or angry, or even feeling sorry for herself, that, as she put it, her body is beginning to conk-out, she laughed. A wonderful laugh. A rich, full, from the bottom of your soul laugh.
Minutes after meeting her, I felt like I’d known her all my life.
Turns out everybody tells Nana everything, so not only did she know about me through AJ’s eyes, but his sister Suzi’s as well. She knew that I’d loaned Suzi money so that she had a place to live while she waited for her inheritance to come in. She said she was grateful to me for that. She knew that I’d been the one to stay up all night, every night, to talk to Suzi when her grandpa was sick and then died. She knew about my family, and my slightly dysfunctional need to have them be a part of my everyday, scratch that, my every moment life.
AJ snoozed in the chair while we talked about Morgan and the wedding, and how AJ had figured out how to get her the perfect dress. I told her all about Adeline and my suspicion that she didn’t have Alzheimer’s at all, but that there was some other problem. I told her that a long time ago I’d been told there was a basic test, can’t find your keys, no problem, don’t know what your keys are for, big problem. I know that’s an extreme over simplification, but what keeps poking at me is that Adeline is very well aware that she’s having these problems. Seems to me if she were really that far gone, far enough to need constant care, she wouldn’t be so aware of her issues, but I’m not a professional and I don’t really know anything or have any authority to do anything.
Nana agreed. She explained that one of the issues she has is that as she gets older some things just aren’t as important to her as they once were and her family, with every good intention, sees that as a cognitive issue, not one of choice. As many times as she tries to explain it, they aren’t listening.
AJ opened one eye at that point. Maybe he wasn’t sleeping after all.
We were shooed out of the room a couple of hours later. Nana was going to be examined and a lovely nurse said she was going to help her with a shower to help her relax so that she can fall asleep.
AJ and I went down to the cafeteria and shared a drink and fries. Seems there’s a new policy put in effect since I’d last been here. Healthier food and longer hours. Good to know.
I told AJ that if his grandma was still feeling poorly, another phrase my family drummed into my head at an early age, that I’d understand his not making it to Morgan and Liam’s wedding. It was, after all, just a few days away. He told me that there was no chance, unless something extreme happened, and everyone had assured him it would not.
We went outside and walked around the perimeter of the hospital just to get some fresh air. That’s always risky in Florida. It’s so humid that moments outside can leave you wilted at best, a stinky mess at worst.
Back in Nana’s room, she seemed completely rejuvenated, which was good and bad. Good because she looked great and reported that she was back to 100%. Bad because she seemed to be wide awake when the plan was to relax her so she could sleep.
She informed AJ that she would rest when she was dead.
He grimaced and went looking for a nurse for an updated report.
Nana leaned in all conspiratorial like, and asked, “Cara, are you going to marry my grandson?”
I sputtered, “He hasn’t asked.”
“That isn’t what I asked you Dear, I asked if you were going to marry him.”
“I don’t know.”
“Cara, every woman knows. They know from the very beginning; then they spend the next months, or years, trying to talk themselves into or out of the situation that they know exists. My question to you is: Are you going to marry my grandson?”
“If you know from the very beginning, I’m in trouble, because I thought he was attracted to my sister, not to me.”
“Teagan? He was never interested in Teagan.”
Wow, she really did know all the details of her grandson’s life.
She seemed to read my mind. “Cara, did Suzi or AJ ever tell you about our family? About why Suzi was so close to her grandfather and AJ and I are so close?”
“Not really. I just kind of assumed that they were blessed.”
“That is a lovely thought, Cara, and I would say that my husband and I were blessed, but Suzi and AJ had difficult parents. They weren’t abused or beaten or anything that dramatic. Their parents simply didn’t make them their biggest priority.”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. What is it with our family? We all seem to attract people that have never had what we almost take for granted. Parents whose eyes light up when we walk in the room. Every time. Stupid me, I thought that was normal.
“My husband and I did our best to make up for that. We didn’t overstep, but we were always available. If there was need for a babysitter, we volunteered. We brought the children to Disneyland when they were young. We took them for summers. We made sure that someone was at every event. We did not parent them, but we did grandparent them. A lot.”
She laughed, a beautiful laugh.
AJ walked in. “What? What were you guys talking about?”
Nana looked a little guilty.
I smiled, “Fine, we were talking about your toilet training, and how cute you were when you were little, and all that mushy stuff that girls talk about when guys are out of the room.”
I don’t think he fully bought it, but he did blush and let it go.
“The nurse says you are as healthy as a horse.”
“I told you that.”
“You weren’t as healthy as a horse when we went to the doctor today. You scared me. A lot.”
“Don’t be silly AJ. I’m old. The systems are starting to fail. There is nothing we can do about that. I was a little bit dehydrated. It isn’t the end of the world.”
“I get that, but do you understand how important you are? You need to take care of yourself. If you get sick, it’s gonna kill me.”
“AJ, darling, I am going to get sick. I am going to die. That’s how life works. You are not to upset yourself about the possibilities. All I want out of death is to do it quickly and painlessly if at all possible. I have lived a good life AJ. A long one. Don’t fret when it ends. You and your sister have been the very best part of that life, and it would hurt me deeply if all those good times were overwritten in your memory by my leaving this earth.”
“We aren’t going to talk about it. I’ve made a decision. You aren’t going to die. Ever.”
We all let out a nervous chuckle.
“AJ, please do me a favor. The problem I’m having trying to relax is that I can’t sleep with these terrible pillows and blankets on me. Could you please run over to my place and get my pillow and the pink flowered quilt on the end of my bed. I promise you it will help me to rest. Take Cara with you, there is no reason to have her sit here with an old woman she doesn’t even know.”
“I can run over and get your pillow and blanket if you’d like AJ to stay.”
AJ, instantly upset, said: “Oh no you can’t. You’re not going anywhere alone. Period.”
Nana’s hospital room was not the right place to put AJ in his place, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Never mind. It really isn’t that important.”
“Nana, I’ll go get your pillow and blanket, Cara will stay here.”
With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared. It really isn’t like AJ to be a complete butt, so I was ready to let it go.
Nana had other ideas.
“Just what was that all about? I don’t often see AJ act so boorish.”
“We’ve had a rough few days. It’s a really long story.”
“I have a lot of time, I’m not going anywhere,
Dear
.”
I filled her in on the basics. Not enough detail to upset her, but enough that she could understand why her grandson would be worried enough about me to be forgiven for being a jerk.
I told her about the more personal complications we’d been having, like when I thought he was a trollop-hugger. I also gave her a slightly scrubbed version of everything going on with Jerkface.
“This sounds like great fun, were it not dangerous. May I ask you a question Cara?”
“Certainly.”
“Who are the girls in the journals?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did he identify them?”
“That’s the thing. They have names, well, some of them do, but I don’t know them, have never heard of them, so I really don’t know who they are.”
“Cara, in this day and age you should be able to figure out something so simple. Get on your computer and do a search. Put in their names, individually, and together. Put them in quotes and see if anything comes up. Go to Google’s advanced search page and work from there.”
“Wow, you know more about computers than I do.”
“If that’s true,
Dear
, it doesn’t speak well of your abilities.”
We laughed.
“Now tell me what was on the memory cards.”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Cara, the woman my grandson describes is bright, inquisitive, capable. The woman you describe to me is a ninny. Which are you,
Dear
?”
“I think I am what AJ describes, with recent ninny moments.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Well, I think it would be best for you to figure that out. I don’t want the mother of my great-grandchildren to be a ninny and I’m certain that you are she.”
I just didn’t know what to do with that statement, so I said nothing.
The truth is, I have been acting like a ninny, and ninny-ness is not a good thing, especially if you’re going to be bold enough to figure out the stuff I have to figure out, and soon, because if Jerkface screws up my brother’s wedding, they just might have to try me for murder.
Messing with me is bad. Messing with my family is completely unacceptable.
The fact that I just thought that is not good. Why should my family be more mess-proof than me? I’ll have to think about that another day.
Nana waited patiently while I thought all those thoughts, and then said, “Cara, I have a smartphone if you would like to start checking on those girls now.”
“I don’t remember everything, but I do remember a few details. I could at least get some ideas.”
“That would be a start Dear.”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to use a phone in a hospital because it could mess up the equipment. They always tell you to switch them off.”
“Then go outside.”
“Do you know what your grandson is going to do to me if he catches me outside?”