Golden Trail (51 page)

“We’re back together,” Layne announced
without preamble and this was met with utter silence.

Layne let the silence stretch and waited for
Dave’s response as he took a drag and exhaled.

Finally, Dave whispered, “Sorry?”

“We’re back together, Dave,” Layne repeated.
“Things changed on Friday and we talked it through last night.”

“You talked it through?” Dave repeated.

“Yep,” Layne replied and waited.

“You been separated for closin’ on twenty
years and you talked it through,” Dave said.

“Yep,” Layne returned.

“How is she?” Dave asked, this question
giving Layne nothing.

“She would be fine but Ma’s here and not
Roc’s biggest fan so let’s say it’s not goin’ as smooth as I’d like
it to go.”

“Vera’s there?”

“Yep.”

“Oh boy,” Dave muttered, knowing Vera and
living in the same town as Vera until Vera moved to Florida five
years ago. Vera hadn’t just decided to hate Rocky for breaking
Layne’s heart. She became an equal opportunity Merrick hater,
blaming them all. The only person Vera hated more than Rocky and
her family was Gabby and that was only because Gabby wasn’t just a
bitch to Layne, she was a bitch to his mother too and such a far
cry from what Vera had when she had Rocky, it dug that particular
knife in deeper.

“You need me to come over, even out the
numbers?” Dave offered.

“I’ll take care of Roc,” Layne replied.

There was more silence then, “Tanner, I’m
happy for you, I’m happy for Rocky, if this is the right thing
but…” he hesitated before he went on, “doesn’t this seem
sudden?”

Sudden? Jesus.

“Don’t know, Dave,” Layne returned. “Been
wanting her back for eighteen years, she’s felt the same, we’ve
been together for a month, both of us strugglin’ to hold it back,
Friday it broke through, that doesn’t seem sudden to me.”

“Right,” Dave whispered.

“You got anything to give me?” Layne
asked.

“Anything to give you?” Dave asked back.

“Yeah, anything to give me,” Layne
repeated.

“Like what?” Dave asked.

“
Anything,
” Layne returned, losing
patience.

Dave was silent.

Layne lost patience.

“Dave –”

Dave cut him off. “I’ll give you this,
Tanner, I’ll tell you I lost faith in God the night he took Cecilia
from me but, if I’d believed in Him, I woulda prayed for this to
happen so now that’s it’s happened, it’s made me think maybe He’s
finally kickin’ back in.”

This statement made Layne go silent.

“Happy for you, son, happy for Rocky. It’s
about damned time,” Dave whispered and Layne heard the
disconnect.

He flipped his phone shut, took a drag from
his cigarette and turned to look into the house to see Vera sitting
back in her armchair, a smug smile on her face. He couldn’t see
Tripp but Jasper was staring at his grandmother, his profile not
happy and Rocky was strutting up the stairs.

Fuck, she’d said something else.

Layne crushed out his cigarette and entered
the house just as Rocky disappeared around the top of the stairs,
heading to his room.

Layne moved after her.

“Tanner,” Vera said. “You shouldn’t smoke.
Not even one a –”

She stopped talking when her mouth clamped
shut after Layne’s eyes hit her and she read what was in them.

Layne took the stairs two at a time.

He found Rocky in his bed, back to the
headboard, knees up, an arm around her calves, pillow sandwiched
between her chest and thighs, cheek to her knee and an arm
outstretched to point the remote at the TV.

Her head came up when he walked in.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” he replied, walked direct to the bed
and climbed in.

She watched him do this, her face blank,
clearly locked in her head then, when he settled, she went back to
the remote, flipping channels on the TV.

“I’m footballed out,” she mumbled her
fictitious excuse to leave the living room.

Layne leaned forward, pulled the remote out
of her hand, switched the TV off, tossed the remote to the foot of
the bed and then gripped the pillow Rocky was cradling and tugged
it out. Her head came up and he shoved the pillow behind his back
at the headboard and then he went after her. Grabbing a hand, he
yanked her forward until she came off-balance and landed with a
hand to his chest, her body to his side and her head to his
shoulder.

Her head went up and back and she started to
pull away while looking at him.

“Layne –” she began.

He interrupted her. “Don’t lock yourself in
your head, sweetcheeks, talk to me.”

Her head tipped to the side. “About
what?”

“Cassie was a one night stand,” he told her
straight out, her eyes got wide then shut down, Layne ignored it
and kept talking. “Ma was takin’ the boys to Disneyworld. I’m not a
Disneyworld type of guy so I wasn’t goin’ with them. They were
gonna leave at oh dark thirty and I went out the night before to
meet a friend of mine who lives down in Florida now. I met Cassie
while we were out. I came home as they were leavin’ and Ma’s not
stupid. But Cassie knew my friend, he gave her my number, she
called my cell while we were still there and Ma picked it up. Ma
never even met her and I only saw her that once.”

“You don’t have to explain this to me,
Layne.”

“Yeah, Roc, I do.”

The blank went out of her eyes as they
started to ignite then she said, “Okay, then I don’t
want
you to explain this to me, Layne.”

“I know you don’t, but you need me to.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“’Cause I had a life for eighteen years and
you’re gonna hear about it and when you get upset or your feelings
hurt, I want you to talk to me about it and not lock yourself in
your head.”

“I lock myself in my head to sort things
out,” she told him.

“Yeah, baby, but once you locked yourself in
your head and locked
me
out.”

She froze against him then started to pull
away but he yanked her right back and when she struggled, he rolled
so she was on her back and his weight was on her.

She stilled and glared up at him.

“Why am I always asking you to get off me?”
she snapped.

“I don’t know, probably because you’re
always tryin’ to take off when I’m not done talkin’ to you.” he
clipped.

“Get off me,” she bit out.

“We’re not done talkin’,” he shot back.

“We are,” she informed him. “See, you just
threw that in my face which tells me you’re not passed it and it
also tells me you’re not going to
get
passed it so maybe all
this was a bad idea.”

“I didn’t throw it in your face,
sweetcheeks.”

“You damn well did!”

Layne cupped her cheek in his hand and
dipped his face into hers. “You’re pissed at Ma, takin’ it out on
me and I’m tryin’ to smooth it out. I’m not throwing anything in
your face. I’m tryin’ to get you to talk.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to talk.”

“I had a life, Rocky.”

“I know.”

“There were women in it.”

“Trust me,
Layne
, I
know.
”

“None of them was you,” he went on.

“I know that too,” she snapped.

“So, except for the one I married ‘cause I
got her pregnant, none of them even so much as had a toothbrush at
my place.”

She snapped her mouth shut and stared at
him.

Then she asked, “Really?”

“Really.”

“Not even a toothbrush?”

“I was seeing Melody for four years and she
tried to leave at least three toothbrushes, a box of tampons and
pair of underwear at my place. I found ‘em and I put ‘em in her
purse. She eventually got the message and quit trying.”

Rocky stared up at him with her lips
parted.

Then she asked, “Why?”

“Why?” Layne repeated.

“Yeah, why?”

Layne took his hand from her cheek, pulled
in an impatient breath and tipped his head back to look at the wall
before looking down at her and explaining, “Baby, ‘cause she wasn’t
you.
”

Rocky stared at him. Then the fire in her
eyes went out.

“Poor Melody,” she whispered and she didn’t
know the half of it.

Layne knew Melody was in deep with him, he
even tried to find it in her, he just couldn’t but she never pulled
away, she kept trying, kept hoping one day she’d get in. She never
did. He should have cut her loose ages ago but even if she wasn’t
Rocky, she was the closest he’d had.

“It’s over with her,” Layne stated and
Rocky’s body relaxed beneath him.

“Does she know how to make Milky Way cake?”
she asked softly.

“Ma taught her but Melody is not a kitchen
person. Melody is a get dressed up, wait at the bar for an hour and
half for a table and then eat a fifty dollar meal person.”

“That doesn’t seem your style,” Rocky
noted.

“It isn’t.”

“I like to get dressed up,” she informed
him, “um… every once in awhile.”

“Baby, you wear that dress you wore the
other night, I’ll take you out where you can get dressed up every
fuckin’ night.”

She grinned. “That’s not even my best
dress.”

Jesus.

“Seriously?” Layne asked.

“Seriously,” Rocky answered. “I have this
one, it’s clingier and shorter and –”

Layne’s brows shot up. “Clingier?”

“Yeah.”

“And
shorter?
”

“Uh… yeah.”

He rolled to his back, his arm over his
eyes, muttering, “Shit. You’re killin’ me.”

She rolled into him, put her hand on his
chest and called, “Layne,” he dropped his arm and looked at her,
“how am I killing you?”

“Because Rutledge stares at your tits,
Gaines stares at your ass and every other man who lays eyes on you
finds somethin’ to stare at. This does not exactly make me
happy.”

“Baby,” she whispered. “If I wear that
dress, it’s just for you.”

He looked up at her and her eyes were
half-mast, her mouth soft and he liked that look so much, that look
directed at him again, finally, after all these years, that he
lifted his hand to her jaw and ran his thumb along her
cheekbone.

She turned her face into his hand, looked at
his chest and kept whispering. “I wasn’t in my head because of
Cassie and Melody.” Her eyes came back to his. “It was because I
fucked up and your Mom talking made me realize just how badly I did
it.”

“Rocky –”

She shook her head and kept talking. “I
missed those birthdays and Christmases and horseback rides. I tried
to remind myself while she was talking that if I didn’t, Jasper and
Tripp wouldn’t be in that room but it didn’t make me feel much
better.”

Layne rolled into her, putting his arms
around her and settling them both on their sides.

“Roc, honey, I don’t know what to say.” And
he didn’t because she was right, with her, there would be no Jasper
and no Tripp and Layne couldn’t imagine that. Without her, he had
them and he knew he was lucky, no matter how fucked up it got along
the way.

“There’s nothing
to
say. I just need
to lock myself in my head and sort it out.”

“I know how it is to fuck up and miss
birthdays and Christmases with people you care about, baby. And I
fucked up bigger than you because I didn’t miss just one person’s,
but three.”

“Layne –”

“Don’t go into your head, let me in and
maybe I can help you out. Yeah?”

She stared into his eyes for a beat that led
into three and then she whispered, “Yeah.”

Layne smiled at her and leaned in to touch
his mouth to hers but her head suddenly moved back and he
stopped.

“Just that…” she hesitated, “can I ask that
that’s the last we talk about the Cassies and Melodys in the life
and times of Tanner Layne?”

He was still smiling when he rolled her onto
her back, slanted his head and, with his lips on hers, he muttered,
“Yeah, baby.”

Then he kissed her and Rocky kissed him
back.

* * * * *

“Is Roc okay, Dad?” Jasper called out when
Layne was walking down the stairs, leaving Rocky in his bed because
she wanted a minute to “get presentable” which he figured meant she
needed a minute to shore her defenses before she faced Vera
again.

Not to mention she needed a minute to right
her clothes considering Layne not only made out with her, he felt
her up.

Layne hadn’t even made it to the middle of
the stairs before Jas asked his question and by the time he hit the
bottom, Vera and Tripp’s eyes were on him.

“She’s good, Bud,” Layne answered.

“She got quiet,” Tripp noted as Layne walked
to the couch.

“She gets that way when her feelings get
hurt,” Layne replied and Jas and Tripp both looked at Vera.

Vera looked at the television.

“What hurt her feelings?” Jasper asked after
Layne had stretched out on his back on the couch, head to the
armrest, and his eyes went to his boy.

As usual, Layne gave it to him straight.
“She lost her Mom when she was fourteen so pretty much every memory
for her is fucked. The birthdays and Christmases before her Mom
died have bitter mixed in with sweet ‘cause she had birthdays and
Christmases after her Mom died that weren’t so good because her Mom
wasn’t there and she remembered them bein’ better when she was. So,
talkin’ about that shit today made her realize she missed your old
man during those times while we were apart and she got upset about
it. ‘Cause of what happened with her Mom, she doesn’t deal with
getting upset like other people do. She gets quiet first then she
shuts down.”

Jasper’s eyes went back to his grandmother
but Tripp asked, “But she’s good now?”

“She’s good, Tripp.”

Tripp nodded then muttered, “I got
homework,” and he got to his feet and went to the stairs, avoiding
looking at his grandmother.