Goddess Interrupted (14 page)

Chapter Eleven
Ingrid

Ava fell to her knees beside the bushes, groping along the wall for the crack that had engulfed Persephone. The forest around us melted away, replaced by a meadow full of flowers, but I was too panicked to investigate.

“She didn’t mean that, did she?” I said as James let out a string of curses I’d never thought I’d hear come out of his mouth.

“She’s crazy,” said Ava. “Sometimes she makes Calliope look sane. We were all glad to be rid of her when she decided to take Adonis and run.”

James hovered over Ava and ran his hands over the spot where Persephone had disappeared. “No,
you
were glad to be rid of her. Henry practically tried to hang himself. Here.” His hand slipped through the rock, and Ava fell back on her heels with a sigh of relief.

“Please,” I begged. “Let me come with you. I’ll hide while you do the talking, but I can’t wait out here knowing that every single person that matters to me could be dying in there.”

“And I can’t let you walk through that wall knowing that you’ll never walk out,” said James. “I’m sorry. I know how much it means to you, and we’ll do everything in our power to set them free. But we can’t risk your life, not when it means Henry’s, as well. Please don’t make this any more difficult for us than it already is.”

I gaped at him; he might as well have slapped me in the face. It had been my idea to come in the first place. The three of them wouldn’t even be there if I hadn’t insisted on going. I was the one who’d managed to get Cronus off our backs, yet I was the problem?

“I’m sorry for being so damn difficult,” I spat. “I’m sorry for not being powerful enough to be anything but a burden, but how would you feel if you’d come all this way to be told you were useless and couldn’t help?”

“Like shit,” he said without batting an eye. “But if our positions were switched, I would understand that it was the right thing to do no matter how hard it was for me to accept.”

Tears stung my eyes, and I blinked rapidly. This wasn’t fair. I had every right to do what I could to help. I didn’t want to die, but living in a world where the council had been wiped out and Cronus ruled—

“We can do it,” said Ava. Her eyes were red. “James and Persephone and I. We can do it as long as we don’t have to worry about you, too. Please, Kate. Henry loves you. Give him something to come home to.”

Every last bit of willpower I had crumbled, and I wiped my cheeks with my dirty sleeves. “Promise me you’ll come back out.”

Neither one of them spoke. James leaned in to me, and for the first time in days, I didn’t move away. He pressed his lips to my cheek, and he didn’t have to say it for me to know what it was.

Goodbye.

I watched them disappear into the wall, Ava first and James second to make sure I didn’t follow, and once they were gone, I collapsed onto the moss beneath me. A sob escaped from my throat as the weight of helplessness and grief crushed me, leaving me with nothing.

Persephone would open the gate, and the moment it was done, Cronus would kill them all. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

* * *

I didn’t know how long I sat there with my face buried in my hands as sob after sob ripped out of me. My chest ached, and my entire body trembled, but as badly as I wanted to follow them, I couldn’t. No matter what happened, Calliope would still win. She would kill me the instant I walked through the wall, or Persephone would release Cronus, and then Calliope would kill me.

My panic was slowly replaced with an overwhelming need to see what was happening. Desperate, I struggled to focus and push my mind into the cavern beyond the crack, but all I saw was the black rock in front of me.

I tried over and over, again and again, until my sobs turned into growls of frustration. Nothing changed. Why could I do it so easily without meaning to, but when the lives of my family hung in the balance, I couldn’t see so much as Henry’s face?

“Hello?”

I jumped. Half expecting Calliope to have somehow snuck up behind me, I scrambled to my feet, ready to bolt or break her nose, whichever was easier. Instead I came face-to-face with a freckled redhead clutching a bunny.

“Who’re you?” I said, and when she took a step toward me, I moved back.

“Ingrid,” she said. “Who are you?”

I forced myself to relax. The field had to come from someone. Most of the others in the Underworld had either avoided us or hadn’t seen us in the first place, and when we’d spoken to them, it had been brief, and Ava usually handled it. This was another one of those then, but this time it was only me.

“I’m Kate,” I said. “I’m sorry for intruding. I’m waiting for—”

“For James and Ava,” she said without a hint of surprise. “I know. I saw you.”

I blinked. “How do you know their names?” Had she been close enough to overhear? I couldn’t remember if I’d used them while we’d argued.

“Because Henry introduced them to me.” She scratched her bunny between the ears and placed it down gently. It hopped off to join a cluster of other animals that seemed to be waiting for Ingrid to come back to them.

“Henry?” I tugged nervously on my sleeves. “How—how do you know Henry?”

“The same way you do,” she said cheerfully. “You’re his wife, right? Kate? You’re the one Calliope was talking about.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Calliope was here? When?”

“Ages ago.” Ingrid shrugged. “Then she went off and left even though she wasn’t supposed to. Henry said.”

Henry again. How could she know Henry? Had he passed judgment on her? But that didn’t explain how she knew Calliope or what she was doing here.

Except—

My eyes widened. “You’re one of the girls Calliope killed, aren’t you?”

She beamed, which was exactly the response I hadn’t expected. “You’ve heard of me? That’s amazing. You’re kind of my idol, you know.”

Calliope had killed eleven girls before I’d come to Eden, but the Underworld was so vast that I never thought I’d run into one of them. “I—I am?” I stammered. “Why?”

She gave me a look that made it clear I should have known. “Because you won, and you punished her for what she did to me. To us, I mean.” She sighed. “It’s terrible, isn’t it? That she got away with it so many times. I spent forever thinking I was the stupid one for falling for her act.”

“You weren’t stupid,” I said. “You just— She’s a goddess.”

She grinned. “So are you now. Tell me all about it. How is it? What can you do? Can you walk on water? Can you fly? I’ve always wanted to fly, you know. It’d be incredible, wouldn’t it? And to live forever—I mean, the Underworld is nice and all, but it isn’t the surface.”

What did it matter if I was immortal when a Titan wanted to kill me? “So far being a goddess has been anything but incredible.”

“What do you mean?” she said. I hesitated, but Ingrid was dead anyway, and it wasn’t as if she could leave. Besides, she’d probably heard the rocks falling, too. For all I knew, the entire Underworld had. She deserved an explanation.

So I told her. I kept it short and withheld a few details, but by the time I was done, all the blood had drained from her face, and she scooped up another rabbit to cuddle for comfort.

“They went in there and left you here?” she said, and I nodded. “That’s awful. They could already be dead. It’s been ages.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. I didn’t need the reminder.

“You should go anyway,” she said, perking up at the idea. “You bested her once, so it’s not like you can’t do it again. If anyone can, it’s you.”

I bit my lip. “She killed me, too,” I said. “The only reason I’m alive is because my mother traded places with me.”

“So?” Ingrid took a step closer to me, and this time I didn’t move away. “That was when you were mortal. You’re not anymore. You’re a goddess, too, and so what if you can’t control your visions? You won’t need them if you go in there.”

“But if I let her kill me, then there’s no telling what Henry will do,” I said. “If Persephone tells Calliope how to release Cronus, then they’ll need Henry to have a prayer of winning.”

Ingrid sighed. “You don’t get it, do you? You’re one of them now. So what if Calliope’s more powerful? She’s not that special, you know, and she can’t kill you now. Gods can’t kill other gods.”

“But Titans can.”

“You said you made a deal with Cronus. It sounds to me like he’s a lot less likely to kill you than he is the others. You tried to be nice to him, and you weren’t the one to lock him up.”

I hesitated. She had a point, especially if Calliope continued to order Cronus around. He hadn’t seemed willing to put up with it much longer. More than anything I wanted to say to hell with it and go in after them, but that didn’t solve the problem with Henry. “If something happens to me—”

“It won’t,” she said firmly. “You bested the Queen of the Gods, and now you’re Queen of the Underworld.”

“I’m not.” I scowled at an unoffending flower. “Cronus interrupted the ceremony.”

“So? You’re still queen. You don’t need a stupid ceremony to prove it.”

As I stared at the blossoms at my feet, I realized with a start that they were the same ones that Henry had been sending. This was where he’d gotten them—it really had been him after all. He’d wanted me to come here. He wanted my help.

“I can’t risk it like that,” I said, although my resolve was waning. “I can’t risk Henry’s life.”

Ingrid gave me an exasperated look. “Listen to what’s happening. It’s been ages. James and Ava aren’t back yet, and while they might still be trying to sneak around Calliope, chances are they’ve been captured, too. If they don’t come out, what are you going to do? Wait for Calliope to throw their bones through the crack so you know what happened? Or are you going to be our queen and fight for your realm?”

It wasn’t my realm though. It was Henry’s. “I don’t even deserve to be here,” I all but wailed. “Henry should have let me die. I don’t deserve to be a goddess or his wife or his queen or any of it. I never have. I’m only here because I was the last one left.”

Ingrid tilted her head like a confused puppy. “Of course you deserve to be here. Henry’s not stupid. He would never trust his entire realm to someone he didn’t think could handle it.”

Not if the only other choice was losing it completely, but I didn’t dare say that aloud.

She let out a frustrated huff and pranced around me, as if she were sizing me up. “Don’t you get it? You were chosen because you’re special. So was I.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “If it hadn’t been for Calliope, I’d be in your shoes, and you know what? I’d be scared, too. I’d be really, really scared. Being brave doesn’t mean never being afraid, you know. It means going for it anyway because you know it’s the right thing to do.”

“There’s nothing I
can
do,” I said miserably.

“How do you know until you try?” She stopped in front of me and nodded toward the wall. “You’re the one who has the deal with Cronus, not them. If something’s happened, you could be their only hope. Go help them. Prove to yourself that you deserve this. Show yourself why Henry believes in you.”

“What if I get killed?” I kicked a small stone, and it skittered a few feet until it hit the rock wall. “What if I get them all killed?”

“What if you’re the reason they survive?”

I could see why Henry had chosen her as a potential queen. She was smart, the kind of smart I wasn’t sure I’d ever be no matter how many years I lived, and her optimism was infectious.

And what if she was right? What if James and Ava—and as much as I didn’t like her, Persephone—were in trouble, and they needed me? If I walked through that wall, there was a good chance my life would no longer be in my control, but had it ever been?

I’d been coasting without any expectations or ambitions for so long that I’d forgotten what it was like to be in charge of my own life. I’d poured so much of myself into helping my mother fight to stay alive that I’d managed to lose myself in the process. I’d done what she and Henry and everyone else had told me from the beginning. Even the choices I’d made—like choosing not to join Henry in Eden when he’d asked me—had ended in a disaster that forced me in a direction I hadn’t wanted to go. I didn’t mind, not really. I loved Henry, and the council was becoming the family I’d never known. And as long as I survived Calliope’s wrath, immortality was a nice perk, at least until everyone else had died and Henry and I were the only ones left. But I was trying not to think that far ahead.

Still, I’d done it all because I had to. Because someone had made me or manipulated me into it. My mother had spent my whole life grooming me to be the kind of person who could pass the council’s tests; the two friends I’d made in Eden had only approached me because they needed to guide me toward Henry. The council had ruled over my entire life in one way or another. Their expectations made me a burden to Henry. My marriage was because of them. Even my birth had been their decision.

James was right: nothing in my life had ever really been my choice. But this was, and I was going to do the right thing.

“All right,” I said. “I’ll go. If Calliope kills me, I’m blaming you.”

Ingrid beamed. “That means you have to give me credit when you save their lives.”