CHAPTER 6
I
CALLED UP RHODA AGAIN AROUND TEN DURING MY FIRST COFFEE
break. “I'm glad I found out about this baby before I let Pee Wee move back home,” I told her, speaking into the telephone on my desk in my office. “God is good.”
“That is so true,” she agreed. “Look what the good Lord's done for me.” I knew exactly what Rhoda was talking about. She often gave God credit for allowing her to survive breast cancer and a stroke. “And He's done a lot for you too.”
“I know He has, but where do I go from here?” I wondered out loud.
I clutched a large cup of coffee that I had picked up in our employee break room, wishing it was something a lot stronger. I needed something a lot more potent than coffee to dull my senses. Like a shot of tequila. But I was glad that my mind was sharp and alert. I didn't want alcohol or anything else to alter my mind until I had digested this latest uproar.
“Does this mean that there is no chance that you and my boy will get back together now?” Rhoda asked. From the tone of her voice, I could tell that she was worried about her boy Pee Wee. But I knew she was even more worried about me.
I took another sip from my coffee cup before I answered her question. The coffee was too hot for my taste, but the sudden discomfort on my bottom lip didn't even faze me. I continued to drink anyway.
“What would you do?” I muttered, sliding my tongue across my irritated lip. “What if it was your husband who got another woman pregnant? Can you imagine the hurt you'd have to deal with for the rest of your life? Would you welcome that child into your home with open arms? I don't think I can do that, Rhoda. Pee Wee having an affair is one thing; him making a baby with another woman is another. Do you think he would want to get back with me if I was pregnant with another man's child?”
Rhoda's silence spoke volumes. Early in her marriage, during her affair with Ian “Bully” Bullard, her husband's best friend, she had become pregnant with Bully's child. Unfortunately, the little boy died when he was a toddler. To this day, as far as I knew, I was the only person, other than Rhoda, who knew about her indiscretion.
“You know what I mean, I hope. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you. I'm sorry,” I apologized.
“You don't have to apologize for anything,” Rhoda told me. I could tell by the way her voice suddenly dropped that she was getting emotional. “What I did happened a long time ago. I was very young and very foolish. And there was no excuse for me bein' so careless that I would get pregnant by another man. I've learned to live with what I did, and I still think of that child as a blessin' from God. With that in mind, I can only imagine how that baby boy would have enriched my life if he had lived.” Rhoda stopped talking long enough to exhale. “Now, I know you don't want to hear this, but you might one day look at Lizzie's child by Pee Wee as a blessin'.”
The next thought that entered my mind was that Rhoda had lost her mind. She knew how badly I'd been hurt by Pee Wee's affair. Why would she think I would ever look at his love child as a blessing? “A blessing? Woman, have you lost your damn mind?”
“No, I have not lost my mind,” Rhoda said calmly.
“You must have! What makes youâof all peopleâthink that I'd ever look at my husband having a baby with another woman as a blessing?” I was sorry that Rhoda was not in the same room with me. If she could have seen the look of disgust on my face because of what she'd just said, she would have taken back every single word. Despite how I was feeling right now, one of the many things that I loved about Rhoda was that when I approached her with a problem, she approached it with caution. But she was being a little too cautious for me right now. “I know how close you and Pee Wee are. But whose side are you on?”
“Annette, honey, I'm on your side. You know I'm always on your side when you have a crisis. Pee Wee will always be my boy, but my first allegiance is to you. You
know
I've got your back no matter what.”
“Then act like it. Don't say any more stupid shit like what you just said!”
“Annette, please be quiet and let me finish. First of all, I am sorry to hear that that woman is pregnant with Pee Wee's child. But let's not jump the gun.”
“Meaning what?”
“Well, first of all, we don't know for sure if Lizzie is tellin' the truth,” Rhoda pointed out.
“All right. We don't know if Lizzie is telling the truth about being pregnant, or telling the truth about Pee Wee being the daddy?”
“Both.”
“I will find out for sure soon enough!” I boomed. “Just when I thought things were going so well between Pee Wee and me, now this.” Lizzie's announcement had hit me like an atomic bomb. “Rhoda, I don't know if I can get through this in one piece,” I admitted.
“You can and you will,” she assured me. “Because I am goin' to make sure that you do.”
“I really appreciate your saying that,” I managed, feeling slightly better.
“Annette, I really am truly sorry about what's been goin' on between you and Pee Wee. And it's normal for you to be upset right now, but let's look at the whole picture.”
“I think we are already looking at the whole picture. If a baby doesn't complete a relationship, nothing does.”
“Just listen and let me talk. You told me that your half sister Lillimae was one of the best things that ever happened to you. You didn't let it bother you that another woman had her by your daddy... .”
That was true. I loved my half sister, who happened to have a white mother. My relationship with Lillimae was very important to me. Other than Rhoda, she was the only female in my age group whom I could turn to in a time of crisis. Lillimae's mother was the woman whom Daddy had left my mother and me for. Lillimae had her mother's blond hair and blue eyes, but she also had features similar to mine. Every time I looked at her, it was like looking at the photo negative version of myself. I loved my half sister to death.
“Lillimae is ... an exception.”
“And why is that?”
“Oh, I don't know. I just know she is. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life.”
“Uh-huh. Exactly. That's what I'm talkin' about.”
“How can you compare Lillimae withâ”
“Now, you shut up and listen to me!” Rhoda ordered, her voice so shrill it made me flinch. I was glad she had cut me off, because some of the words coming out of my mouth were contradicting my feelings about Lizzie's baby. It didn't make any sense to me that I could accept my daddy's love child, but not my husband's. I was concerned because I couldn't help the way I felt. A sharp pain shot through my head, right behind the thought that I might some day accept Lizzie's baby. “I know your mother was hurtin' real bad when your daddy took off. Her findin' out that he had kids by the other woman must have ripped her heart in two.”
“That happened a real long time ago. My mother eventually got over it or she would not have taken my daddy back after a thirty-year separation.”
“Exactly,” Rhoda said again, louder and with more conviction this time.
“Exactly what?”
“I am not condonin' what Pee Wee did, but don't let it destroy you today, because you don't know how you will feel about it next year, or in a few years. Do you understand what I'm tryin' to say?”
“Hell no! And I don't know why you're saying what you're saying. This is not the time to be telling me that something good might come out of this. I am too mad to even think that far ahead! When you walk in my shoes, maybe you'll know what I'm feeling like right now.”
“I haven't worn the same shoes you have on now, but I've had my feet in shoes that didn't feel too comfortable. Had my son lived, I know my husband would have accepted him and raised him as his own.”
“But Otis didn't know that your son wasn't his, did he?”
“No, but I was goin' to tell him the truth one day.”
“Rhoda, your situation was not nearly as traumatic as the one I'm going through right nowâor the one that my mother went through with my daddy. You could have kept your son's father's true identity hidden until the day you died. Otis and Bully look enough alike that they could pass for brothers. If your son had lived and grown up to look like his biological father, nobody would have guessed the truth. You know how bitter my mother is when it comes to Lillimae and her siblings. I don't want to be like her.”
“Yes, I do know and I don't blame your mother. But she's not as bitter as she was when it first happened. A few years ago, she told me that she wouldn't change anything that had happened to her because it eventually made her the woman that she is today.”
Rhoda was right. It was because of what my daddy did that my long-suffering mother had gone from living in poverty to living in the lap of luxury. She was now one of the happiest women I knew.
My mother was an uneducated woman with very little family to fall back on. After Daddy left us, she had endured some hellish jobs working as a maid and a nanny for rich white womenâmost of them pit bulls in heels. One of her last employers had beaten her with a mop handle and promptly fired her because she had caught her husband trying to fondle my mother's breasts. Well, those days were over. My mother owned and operated The Buttercup, the most successful black restaurant in Richland. She had sold it twice. But each time she had gotten bored and restless, and purchased it back. Next to me and Daddy, the restaurant was her most important possession. All of that had come about because of Daddy's betrayal. Albert King, my mother's deceased second husband, had left The Buttercup to her in his will. I could understand what Rhoda was trying to tell me, but it didn't make me feel any better.
“Think about your daughter,” Rhoda advised. “Charlotte has always wanted a siblin'. She and ... uh ... Lizzie's child might bond the same way you and Lillimae did.”
That was true too. My daughter had been telling me for years that “an only child is a lonely child.” She used to beg me to give her a baby brother or a baby sister so she'd have somebody to boss around. And I had tried to do just that. I had stopped taking birth control pills, I had done all kinds of things to make myself more fertile (including Jell-O douches), and none of it had worked. I had accepted the fact that I'd never have another child to raise. At least not one from my body.
It seemed so unfair that Lizzie was the one pregnant by Pee Wee instead of me!
“My head is spinning. Let's change the subject,” I suggested.
“We can change the subject, but this baby thing is not goin' to go away. You need to face it head-on. The best way to do that is for you and me to talk about it some more. No matter what I say, I'm on your side. Just to let you know way in advance, no matter how involved Pee Wee gets in Lizzie's child's life, I will not tolerate him bringin' it around me. And that's somethin' I want to do for your sake because I know how much it would hurt you.”
“I hope you mean that,” I bleated.
“I mean it, and you know I do. It's the least I can do.”
We remained silent for a few moments. My mind went back to what Rhoda told me my mother had confessed to her. My mother had never been so candid with her feelings to me! This was one revelation that I was going to spend a lot of time thinking about, now that I knew about it. I had a notion to throw it up in Muh'Dear's face the next time she complained to me about Lillimae. But no matter what I thought or felt, this news about Pee Wee and Lizzie having a baby together angered me to the bone. I really needed to talk more about it, but I didn't want to do it over the telephone.
“Annette, can you meet me at the Red Rose for drinks when you get off work this evenin'? But you need to do some coolin' off first. I really want you to spend the next few hours alone so that you'll have some time to think about everything I've just said. I don't like knowin' you're in so much pain. But, like I always do, I will do everything I can to help you get through this.”
I heard everything that Rhoda had just said, but my mind was on something else. “Rhoda, what would you have done if that woman your husband had the affair with had gotten pregnant with his baby?”
CHAPTER 7
R
HODA WAS TAKING TOO LONG TO ANSWER MY QUESTION,
so I asked it again, “What would you have done if your husband's mistress had gotten pregnant with his baby?”
“I can honestly say that I don't know how I would have handled my husband havin' a baby with another woman. Anyway, the situation with my husband and his outside woman was a lot different than what you're goin' through with that Lizzie heifer. In my case, the other woman lives in Miami. Even if she had had a baby by my husband, she's down there; I'm up here in Ohio. I wouldn't have to worry about runnin' into her on the street. This town is small; you will have to see Lizzie and her baby everywhere you go. This is somethin' that you are goin' to have to deal with head-on.”
“I wish I knew what to do,” I lamented. “I never thought that I would have to deal with something like this at my age. I need to talk to you about this some more.”
“For sure. Like I suggested, let's hook up at the Red Rose after you leave your office this evenin'. Drinks are on me.”
“This evening? Oh no. I don't think I can wait that long.” I looked up at the big clock on the wall facing my desk. “I need to get up out of here a lot sooner than this evening. I am so agitated right now that I can't sit still. A liquid lunch might calm me down,” I admitted. “Can you meet me around eleven-thirty at that deli on the corner from my office? They've got some great French wine.”
“Oh, I can't do it that soon,” Rhoda groaned. “Jade's still not feelin' well, so I'd better stay close to home for the next few hours. I picked up a prescription for her last night, and now she's complainin' about its side effects; one bein' diarrhea.”
Rhoda's daughter had not been feeling well for several days. Last Monday, after she'd indulged herself with one of her hour-long bubble baths, she'd developed a severe urinary tract infection. I felt somewhat responsible for Jade's condition. A ninety-nine-cent bottle of bubble bath, which my daughter had given to Jade as a gift on her last birthday, was the cause of her discomfort. The reason I felt responsible was because Jade, who was about as high maintenance as a female could be, didn't know that the bubble bath had come from a discount store. That was because Charlotte had poured it into a bottle from Victoria's Secret. She had purposely left the very expensive tag stuck to the front of the bottle. I didn't know what my daughter had done until she confessed her prank to me after she'd already given it to Jade. I scolded Charlotte and made her promise me that she would never do something that deceitful and tacky again.
“Poor Jade,” I said dryly, feeling slightly sympathetic. I had had my share of female-related discomforts over the years, including the one Jade had now. It was no picnic. Mine had also been caused by my bathing in cheap bubble bath. However, if somebody had to have it, I couldn't think of a more deserving woman than Jade.
“Well, poor Jade is beside herself havin' to deal with all that itchin' and burnin' between her thighs; not to mention all that pressure on her bladder. She didn't even make it to the bathroom in time a few times yesterday. I've stepped in so many puddles on the floor between her bedroom and the bathroom, you'd think I had half a dozen un-housebroken puppies runnin' around,” Rhoda groaned, grinding her teeth. “She hasn't wet her bed this much since she was in diapers. Her silk thong panties and those white, six-hundred-thread-count sheets on her bed will never be the same again. We had to leave the grocery store yesterday before the clerk even rang up our purchases so Jade could get to a toilet. Lord! She didn't make it. She had to squat down and relieve herself between two parked cars in the grocery store parking lot!” Rhoda snickered for a few seconds. “Maybe now she won't be so quick to sit in a bathtub for an hour with bubbles up to her neck.”
“I hope not.” I had to hold my breath to keep from guffawing like a hyena. But I couldn't stop myself from saying what I was thinking. “They have those Depends in her size, you know.” I was glad that I could shift my mind off Lizzie's pregnancy for a few precious moments. I almost laughed, but I was glad I didn't.
“Depends? Annette, that's so gruesome!” Rhoda almost choked on her words. “Those damn adult
diapers
? That girl is so vain she won't even wear cotton panties! Look, this conversation has drifted in the wrong direction. I want to talk more about this new development with Lizzie. You know I don't want to spend my time on this telephone talkin' to you about Jade's bladder condition. Instead of us goin' to the bar, what if I come by your house later tonight after Jade goes to bed?”
“That's fine. What time do you think that'll be?”
“Well, you know Jade. She's my baby and I love her to death, but that child behaves like she came out of Pandora's box instead of my womb,” Rhoda said in an apologetic manner. She mumbled some gibberish under her breath that included a few cuss words. She took a deep breath before continuing, “Nothin' she does surprises me anymore, so I have to work around her annoyin' antics. If she comes home from the clubs before eleven, I can come over around midnight in time for the
Cheers
reruns on Channel Four.”
I was not surprised to hear that Jade didn't even let a severe urinary tract infection keep her from going out to party. As far as she was concerned, life was all about having a good time, no matter the cost. She had trotted off to a bar to participate in a “hot body” contest the night that a processor server tracked her down and slapped divorce papers in her hands right in front of her friends.
“But don't count on Jade comin' home in time. You know how much that girl likes to have a good time,” Rhoda added.
Unfortunately, I did know how much Jade liked to have a good time. She had wanted to “have a good time” with my husband while she was still in her teens. Her sinister plan was to break up my marriage and take over my role in Pee Wee's life. Even though she and I had been more like family, she had attempted to destroy me by driving me crazy with anonymous hate mail, vicious telephone calls, and vile packages. When her plan fell apart, so did she. She now treated me like I had leprosy, but Rhoda and I maintained the friendship that we had developed when we were still teenagers by “working around” Jade, so to speak. Rhoda and I usually got together at my place or some place in public. I only went to her house when I knew Jade was out, or when I really needed to see Rhoda in person and didn't mind having to endure Jade's hostility. This was one of those times.
“I can leave work and come over,” I suggested, looking at my wall clock again. “Right now, if you don't mind.”
It was only a few minutes past ten. I had not even finished my first cup of coffee. I had a lot of work on my desk and a staff meeting to attend at ten-thirty. I could delegate most of my work, but attending a staff meeting was the last thing that I wanted to do. I was in no shape to spend two hours with my staff trying to come up with ways to get people to pay their delinquent bills. Some people thought my job was easy. But when people's unpaid bills ended up with a collection agency, it was obvious that these individuals were irresponsible. When they received calls from us, they were usually so hostile and angry, they only made the situation worse. I could recall only one case that didn't fit into that unpleasant category. Last year an elderly woman from my church had a stroke and lapsed into a coma. She had previously given her daughter authorization to handle her finances. Well, the daughter handled the finances all right, but only the ones in her favor. She spent a fortune of her mother's life savings in Atlantic City in the casinos and didn't pay a single one of her mother's bills. When the poor old woman surprised everybody and recovered, her life was in shambles. Her house was in foreclosure, her utilities had been cut off, and her car had been repossessed. The district attorney, the old woman's former employer, was fit to be tied. The daughter was charged with elder abuse and grand theft. She was put on probation and had to pay a huge fine. Part of her punishment was that she had to catch up the payments on the bills that she had ignored. However, it was too late to salvage her mother's previously excellent credit rating. The old woman begged me not to sue her. She didn't want to lose what little money she had left, because she had no other family to turn to. I had no problem arranging a payment plan that the daughter could afford. After she made two payments, both late, she stopped paying on her mother's accounts, quit her job, and went on welfare. It amazed me how often friends and family members betrayed one another.
Lizzie used to be one of my closest friends....
“Annette, are you still with me?”
“Oh. I was just thinking about something,” I sniffed, wiping a huge tear from the corner of my eye. “Uh, do you want me to come over to your place right now?”
“Oh, I wish you could, but this is not a good time for me. My houseguest is on his way from the airport. You know how helpless men are about things like unpacking and whatnot. I need to be here when he arrives so I can get him settled in. Besides, he'll be all turned around and exhausted because of the time difference between Ohio and England. Between him and Jade, I'll have my hands full for the next few hours. Like I said, I will come to your house later tonight if Jade gets home before too late. I want to be here to make sure she takes her medication before she goes to bed.”
“Yeah, Iâoh shit! Don't worry about us getting together at all tonight. I just remembered that I have a date with Roscoe Grinter.”
“Roscoe? Girl, do you mean to tell me that after what you found out today, you're still goin' out on a date? Don't you think that's a little odd?”
“No more so than your daughter going to the clubs tonight in her condition,” I smirked. “At least Roscoe will be a distraction, and that's what I need until I get my bearings back.”
Rhoda chuckled. “We'll get together tomorrow for sure. We can talk then. I'll come over first thing in the mornin'.”
After Rhoda hung up, I sat at my desk and stared at the wall. When it began to look like it was moving, I shifted my attention to some of the items on my desk. I glared at the large silver-framed photo of Pee Wee sitting next to my telephone. There was a foolish grin on his face as he stood over the barbecue grill in my backyard. This picture had been taken two years ago, so he looked like he didn't have a care in the world. And at that time, he didn't. I couldn't believe all of the things that had happened since he'd posed for that picture. “You dog,” I snarled, almost barking at the picture. “You low-down, funky black dog!”