Girl After Dark (18 page)

I grip you hard, crying out as I come that second time, and deep inside me, I feel you pulse too, your body tensing, my arms and legs thrown tightly around you, both of us kissing feverishly, our bodies trembling, our hearts beating, our tongues flicking ...

After a week of wondering if it was even gonna happen, I’m
finally
getting ready for my next date with Carson. Here in my bedroom, I adjust my black and white Urban Outfitters dress and give myself an approving look over in the mirror.

After our brunch date, it turned out to be a little harder than I’d first imagined to pin him down. I mean, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see me, just that he was busy. Like,
really
busy. Between his work commitments and a number of family engagements, he just seemed to have almost no time left to see me this week.

And after a long back and forth of text messages, we’ve finally agreed to meet this evening.

My phone buzzes.

That must be him, I think excitedly, snatching my mobile from its place on the dresser. He must be texting to give me the address of the restaurant!

But instead it’s Jonathan:

Hope you’re looking forward to the show tonight! Meet me at the Mercury Lounge at 7. J x

Oh no
, I think.
What have I done?!

Because in my excitement to meet up with Carson again, I’ve forgotten that I’d already made a date with Jonathan tonight! We’re supposed to go and see this hip new band he loves, Circles.

I don’t want to bail on him, after all, he’s my only friend in the city and he’s been really good to me. But then, I really really don’t want to bail on Carson, either. If there’s one thing I hate more than lateness, it’s canceling plans altogether.

Well, Carson did say he wanted to get to know the real me, didn’t he?
I think with a nervous smile.
I suppose he’s just gonna have to meet my family a little sooner than expected …

I pull out my phone and send a message to Carson:

Change of plan. We’ll have to do dinner some other time (sorry!). But how do you feel about going to see New York’s hottest new band? x

I look again at my dress, my hair all tied up in a ponytail, and my heels. It might have been okay for a romantic date in a small restaurant but I certainly don’t look like I’m about to go to a rock show …

But then if I pull out my hair, mess it up and slip on my battered old Vans instead?

Actually, this look kind of works!

§

“ID please,” the gruff, burly bouncer on the door to the Mercury Lounge asks me.

It’s one of those things I’m still finding it hard to get used to over here — back in England, I’d be kind of flattered to still be asked my age!

I show him my passport, he nods, and then I head inside. I find Jonathan at the bar, and he’s already bought us both bottles of beer.

“I love your look!” he grins as I approach, handing me my beer. “ Preppy meets punk. You’re so good at putting clothes together!”

“Actually?” I say, taking a swig. “This one was kind of an accident.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Well,” I sigh. “Please don’t hate me but I kind of messed up this evening. You see I’ve accidentally kind of double booked, so I’m dressed for a restaurant. You see there’s this guy …”

“I knew it,” he interrupts, his grin getting wider and his eyes widening in a
tell me everything
expression. “It’s him isn’t it?! I’m so glad you found him again!”

“What can I say?” I shrug. “After we spoke I was so scared I’d blown it with him. I had no way of getting in touch with him but I supposed you could say that fate brought us back together again … I just had to see him tonight but I didn’t want to let you down either.”

“So basically you’re asking, do I mind playing third wheel for you tonight, Honey?”

Just like Jonathan, I think. Always cutting straight to the chase.

“I guess so?” I reply sheepishly.

“Absolutely not!” he laughs. “In fact, I’d be delighted. I’d love to meet this guy. He must be something pretty special.”

“I think he is actually,” I agree.

And I guess a part of me is kind of excited for Carson and Jonathan to meet. I mean, I know they’re totally different, but they’re both really nice guys, and I think Jonathan is a really good judge of character too, so I’d like to see how they get on …

§

We’re standing at the back of the room, waiting for Circles, the headline band, to come on, when I see him. Carson. And as always, my heart skips a beat.

He’s dressed kind of cool and sharp — but alternative, too — and he totally fits in here. As he gets a little closer, I can tell by the cut of the suit he’s wearing that it’s vintage; I’m impressed.

“Nice suit,” I say as he takes his place next to us.

“Well,” he laughs, “I realised that if we’re gonna be seeing more of each other, I’d better pay attention to what I wear. I thought you’d appreciate this old number.”

He leans in to kiss me, then turns to shake Jonathan’s hand.

“Jonathan, this is Carson,” I say, still getting a tiny thrill whenever I say his name out loud, “and Carson, this is my cousin, Jonathan.”

I have to stifle a smile when I notice the flash of excitement in Jonathan’s eye — he obviously thinks Carson’s hot, too.

And if he noticed Jonathan’s expression, he tactfully ignores it. “I’m going to the bar,” he says, “can I get you guys some drinks?”

“Sure,” I reply, and Jonathan nods and smiles too.

Once Carson’s left us alone again, Jonathan leans in and whispers in my ear, “Good grief, girl! Where did you get one of
those?
Because I want one! He’s gorgeous.”

I laugh and nod.

And I have to admit, I’m really pleased at how warm and easy and fun this all is — how my life actually seems to be shaping up okay, out here in New York.

Carson comes back with our drinks, just as the main band take to the stage. The lights dim and the crowd clap and for a moment everything falls into darkness.

Then a drumbeat, low, insistent, steady, like the beat of my heart whenever Carson is nearby.

The lights flash, illuminating the drummer, there in the very centre of the stage, a picture of cool: amazing tattoos, jet black hair cut in an asymmetric bob, her face lost in concentration as she pounds out the beat.

Then two more lights flash on at either side, lighting up the two guitarists, both gorgeous girls with ice-white hair. As they start to play, I feel my stomach lurch with excitement.

Wow, these guys are
good.

And as I watch them, transfixed, it takes me a moment before I realize that Carson has slipped his hand into mine — or maybe I slipped mine into his?

Either way, I give his warm hand a little squeeze and he does the same right back.

§

After the show, we’re all buzzing with excitement, and Jonathan suggests a nightcap at a nearby bar called No Fun. We pile into a booth, laughing and joking, and I can’t help but think that tonight is going even better than I could have hoped.

Carson seems totally relaxed too.

Right now he’s telling us a funny anecdote about his college roommate, a guy called Dave who was so tidy, he even ironed his socks.

And as I listen to him talk, I realise now that my only real problem is that I wish I had him alone. I feel bad about this, I mean I definitely don’t want to bail on Jonathan, but at the same time, it feels like it’s been
forever
since it was just Carson and me.

“You think that’s crazy?” Jonathan cuts in as Carson comes to the close of his anecdote. “You should have met
Melissa
here when she was growing up! She used to ask to do the vacuuming at my parents house when she came over! She used to
enjoy
it!”

I feel myself blushing, and I shoot daggers with my eyes at Jonathan but he just won’t quit until Carson’s laughing his head off at the image of twelve year old me, running a vacuum cleaner around for enjoyment.

“Shut up!” I exclaim. “Let’s just pretend I was always this cool and sophisticated. Unless you want me to tell Carson all about your My Little Pony collection.”

Carson laughs. “No! I’m enjoying this! I want to know all about you, Melissa! Even as a child. And for what it’s worth, I was an enormous geek, too.”

And as Jonathan continues on with a long involved anecdote — turns out he’s actually pretty
happy
to talk about his My Little Pony collection — I feel Carson’s foot brushing against my own, our eyes lock across the table, and I realise that he probably wants to be alone with me just as much as I do with him.

But despite this, Jonathan seems totally happy and content here at the table. I find myself willing him just to even go to the
bathroom
for a minute, so that I can steal a quick kiss from Carson, but no luck. He just won’t seem to leave us alone, not for a single second.

I know what to do.

I could just say something — suggest that Carson and I are gonna head back to his together. But can I bring myself to be so forward, to say something like that in front of my
cousin
? And anyway, what if I got it wrong? What if Carson isn’t expecting me to come back to mine tonight …

But my doubts are obliterated when I feel his foot rubbing against mine again, and his fingers brushing the soft flesh of my thigh.

No, we’re both totally on the same page here. It’s like we’re reading each other’s minds.

I’m desperately trying to think of a way of being alone with Carson now. I mean, I guess we could just stay out drinking, and hope that Jonathan has to go soon, but at the same time, I already feel like I’ve had more than my fair share of alcohol. I’ve never been a big drinker at the best of times, and I’m already onto my fourth beer …

Okay
, I decide,
I’m gonna tell everyone I’m going home, and then, once we’ve all said goodbye and got in our own cabs, I can call Carson and meet up with him.

So, I do the biggest fake yawn I can muster.

“I’m beat,” I explain. “I’ve had a long day, and I guess I need to go to bed.”

As I say it, I notice that Carson looks a little disappointed.

Damn
, I think,
perhaps he can’t read my mind after all! But don’t worry, I’ll call him as soon as I get in a cab on my own.

“Hey Melissa,” Jonathan says. “My place is on the way to yours’ right? Let’s share a taxi!”

Oh no! I haven’t thought this through, have I?! This isn’t going quite how I planned!

We all settle up and head out onto the street. It’s still kind of warm, and I have the sudden sad feeling that maybe the night really
is
over and once again, I’ve not had any time alone with Carson.

“Okay then,” I say, catching his eye, suddenly feeling kind of awkward, too shy to even give him a proper kiss goodbye in front of Jonathan.

“Okay then,” he replies, seemingly overcome by the exact same awkwardness.

He leans in, and instead of kissing we do this weird awkward hug thing, and then finally I give him a squeeze and a quick kiss on the cheek, all the while feeling Jonathan watching on, a big grin on his face.

“Great to meet you, Jonathan,” Carson says warmly and the two shake hands and give each other a hug too.

Then, before I know it, Jonathan has flagged down a taxi and I’m climbing into it, every atom in my body screaming at me to just run back, into Carson’s arms.

What am I doing?!

And as I slump down into the seat and put on my seatbelt, I feel like I just can’t hide my disappointment anymore, my face falling, not wanting to turn around and wave him goodbye in case I actually do something stupid and soppy like actually start crying.

“Hey,” Jonathan says, resting a reassuring hand on mine, “What’s wrong darling? Haven’t you had a good night?”

“No, no!” I say. “It was great. I just … I don’t know.”