Getting The Picture (7 page)

That, and the girls, of course. I can tell you now that I had my choice. God knows why, but after a day in the studio, they seemed to want me. Normally I picked the girls who had caught the eye of the richest collectors. Not because they were the most beautiful, there were some very different tastes out there, but because I would always know that, in this one thing at least, I was getting the real thing, while the client just got my idea of the girl. But even then, you were never far from my thoughts. In the morning, I couldn't wait to get rid of them. I always kept the photographs, though.

Why am I telling you all this now? I want you to know everything about me. Everything out in the air, open and clean. Although from what I'm learning about your family, I'm not the only one who has been living in the shadows.

M

44.
email from nell baker to angie griffiths

Hey Angie

You've got to laugh at Dad sometimes. He's now got it into his head that I need to get back together with James. ‘That girl needs a father,' he said about Robyn. ‘She's got one,' I said, ‘and it's her right to choose not to see him.' He snorted then. Actually snorted and said, ‘in my day'. We all know about his day when a man like James who, what does Dad call it, bats for the other side, would have to carry on living with me and making us all miserable.

But tell me this, did you ever think there was something askew in our family? Even when we were all together, we still felt out of balance. It doesn't seem like that for Robyn and me. And didn't even when it was Robyn, James, and me. But when I look back at our photographs, or try to remember events from childhood, it's always as if there's something missing. Either missing, or too much, I'm not sure. Still, I would like to find someone one day. For companionship as much as anything. But I don't fancy Mark, thank you very much. Of course I know the old joke about men and uniforms, but I'm not sure a nylon security jacket is exactly the stuff of dreams. Plus I can't see how he is guarding anything when he seems to have taken it upon himself to stand by the door of the building every time I come in and out. After your stupid flower delivery, he thinks it's funny to wink at me continuously. What about you, Angie? Have you met someone properly available or are you still tied up with that married Frenchman? We haven't done all that well for ourselves, have we? The fabulous Griffiths girls. Could that be anything to do with our beloved father, do you think? Maybe we should find him a girlfriend. Now
that
would be a miracle.

Nell

45.
answer phone message from george griffiths to angie griffiths

Angie, this is your father, George Griffiths here. Leaving another message on your telephone. I have left several, Angie. It's Wednesday, 10:07 a.m. If you don't get this message, I would be grateful if you could let him, me, your father, know. You can't trust machines. I've told you that before. Anyway, I hope work is going well, Angie. Do get in touch if I can be of any help. So I'll leave you now. I know you're busy but I'd be grateful if you could give your sister a ring. She misses you. Thank you for your latest card. In my opinion, Monet's gardens look as if they need a good prune but I can see your mother would have liked the colour. It's 10:10 a.m. now, Angie, and your father wishes you a good day.

46.
email from nell baker to angie griffiths

I am so not turning into Dad. It's just common sense that if someone has a job, especially as a security guard, then they should do it. The devil makes work for idle hands etc. etc. Mark never seems to do anything useful, and the other day when I asked him if he could spare the time to carry up some boxes to my office, he jumped at the chance. OK, OK, I do see what you mean. So how come you get to be Mum, all mysterious but with everyone loving her, while I get to be Dad? I had another go at Robyn about seeing James this week but she's still refusing. Stubborn, like someone else in the family we could mention. But I was wondering if you ever wished you'd been pushed to see Mum after you'd left? She got so quiet at the end without you. Dad kept bustling around making more and more plans, and rules, and schedules for the two of them until I thought he might burst. It was his way of coping, of course, but she gave up. As if just keeping going was too much of an effort. It was almost as if she'd lost a battle with someone. I often wondered whether it was because she'd didn't have you anymore.

47.
letter from george griffiths to brenda lewis

Dear Brenda,

I am still awaiting a response from you to my letter of 17 February. In the meantime, I have taken the liberty of drafting a recommendation sheet of when residents can invite family and friends to avoid inconveniencing others. As you will see, I have suggested no guests at mealtimes and after seven p.m. at night. I have also stipulated that no guests are allowed to stay overnight, even small children. I understand that your staff wish to make Pilgrim House like a family home, but while I appreciate the sentiment, I am sure we are all agreed that there are limits. I would also like to draw your attention to the doodles on the latest staff notice. I appreciate Sophi (Sophie?) might be young, but I still think childish scribbles are unnecessary and take away from the seriousness of the information she is imparting. Even lunch menus contribute to the smooth running of the house and so should be shown respect.

Yours sincerely,

George Griffiths

48.
letter from martin morris to mo griffiths

Dear Mo,

I can't stop thinking about the old studio now. Do you remember how it always smelled as if something was burning? You used to make me go around and check the lights. Once, I switched them all off and pretended it was too dark to see where you were. I called for you, Mo, just to hear you answer. But then I tripped over the lead and all the photographs from that afternoon's session went flying. You were pleased, I think. You were always too jealous of the other girls. I never looked at them in that way, not then. They were just canvases for where the light should fall. You
were
the light, Mo. It was never the same after you went back to George. I tried, but somehow everything lost its meaning.

At the newsagent's, I used to look at men poking around on the top shelf and I'd want to shoo them away. It was the kiddies I liked best. The way they'd come in with pennies saved from their pocket money and I'd make up selections of sweets for them. ‘You do it best, Mr Morris,' they'd say if Mahad tried to serve them. I wonder if they knew how many extra I'd put in? For years, I used to look and see if one of them was Nell. Long after she must have gone to high school, but still I'd stare at the young ones. I was the same about you. I knew when you were thirty, and then forty, and then fifty, but I never thought of you like that.

There was a school party in here yesterday. They sang ‘The Lord Is My Shepherd' in French. I would have preferred English but I clapped hard anyway. One little chap didn't open his mouth, just stood at the back picking his nose. ‘Didn't your mother ever tell you that was rude?' Helen said when they'd finished, but he shook his head. When we were having our tea, Brenda said we weren't supposed to say things about mothers and fathers in case they didn't have one. It was against the rules apparently. ‘Ridiculous,' George said, and for once everyone agreed with him.

Robyn came in again just after. ‘Have you seen your granddad?' I asked her.

She looked worried then. ‘No,' she said, ‘I thought I'd see you first.' She was hemming and hawing as if something exciting had happened.

‘What is it?' I asked her. ‘Got ants in your pants?'

She laughed at that. Seems all the expressions we took for normal are quaint now. ‘I've written a poem about Annabel Armstrong,' she said. ‘I want you to read it. You know how you said about her waist and stuff. I tried to do what you told me and imagined her as a young person.'

‘Quite,' I said.

‘But it's a bit naughty.' She clutched a corner of the piece of paper until I had to pull it away from her.

‘You'll tell me what you think,' she said. I nodded.

‘And you won't tell granddad? I'm not sure he'd like it.' I read it quickly, trying not to look up at her. It was about Annabel's longing for the parrots to see how clever she was, as well as beautiful, and there were lines and lines about the trees Annabel could see from her window.

‘Not bad.' I passed it back to her.

‘You didn't like it?' She looked like one of the little French singers we'd just had, standing there and biting her bottom lip.

‘I think you could have gone further,' I said. ‘Really tried to explore the side of someone no one else knows about.'

‘Further?' She scanned the poem, and I could see her hands were shaking.

‘Shock me,' I said. ‘The best artists are always the ones who take most risks. Perhaps you could say something about Annabel's lovers?'

She nodded, and folded up the poem once and then again very carefully, corner to corner. I used to wonder whether it was worth it. You leaving me to be with your girls. But I think I know the answer to that now. They put themselves so completely in your hands, don't they?

M

49.
letter from florence oliver to lizzie corn

Dear Lizzie,

I couldn't believe it when I read your letter and learned it wouldn't be convenient for me to come to stay with you after all. In fact, I swore out loud right then and there with disappointment at the breakfast table, and Brenda Lewis heard me. ‘Everything all right?' she trilled.

‘Fine,' I said, otherwise she'd be fussing over me all day, but it's not. I can't pretend it is.

Of course, I understand completely that family comes first, and that with Troy more and more around the house, Laurie doesn't feel able to cope with a guest. But I'm only small, Lizzie, and I'd be tucked away in your room so there would be no need for Laurie to clear out the spare room. I'm sad not to see you. I miss you. I love you.

There I've said it. And now you'll call me a silly old fool. Well, you've called me worse over the years.

To tell the truth, I'm a bit down for other reasons. The seduction isn't going all that well. I asked George if he wanted me to give him a quick rub on his stiff shoulder the other night and he threatened to call Brenda, accusing me of molestation. I had to look it up in the dictionary to make sure I'd got it right. We've only got a Scrabble one here so it's not all that helpful unless the word you want starts with a Q or has two letters, but I wasn't molesting anyway. The idea of it!

It's just that Martin suggested I should try and make physical contact because apparently that's very effective. Afterward, he told me that he meant just touch George lightly on the arm but Graham always used to get me to rub around his neck after he'd been on the parade ground. I'd have been on my feet all day keeping the house as clean as he liked it, but Graham just called that women's work. Nice and cushy, he'd say, although he'd be looking around for spots I'd missed even while I was standing there, rubbing his spotty neck and worrying about the dinner burning. So what to do now about George? Martin says I've got to come up with something on my own. He says it's because he's busy with the granddaughter. Robyn, she's called.

Anyway, you have a think. You always were the clever one. And I'll try to get over my disappointment about not seeing you. Let's look for a nice place to go in the summer, shall we? I've got this postcard up in my room from George's daughter in Paris. It's one of the ones I stole but imagine a boat trip on the Seine. Would it be too much for us to try a bit of abroad for ourselves?

Yours aye,

Flo

50.
answer phone message from claude bichourie to angela griffiths

Angela, unexpectedly I find myself free again this evening. After last night, I have been longing to see you, just to spend more time with my Saxon queen of the dark eyes and the dark temper.

So I will be with you at seven. No need to cook, we will go out, or we will think of other ways of taking our pleasure. Prepare for me well. I will like to think of that in my meetings today.

51.
answer phone message from doctor flaubert to angela griffiths

Madame Griffiths, further to your consultation with Dr. Flaubert today, we would like to confirm that your test results are positive. Dr. Flaubert has asked me to pass on his congratulations and would be grateful if you could call us at your earliest convenience to arrange a second appointment to discuss possible courses of action.

52.
letter from brenda lewis to nell baker

Dear Nell,

A powerpoint presentation does sound a treat! I'm sure it will be very nice indeed for the residents to have something so exciting to look forward to.

However, I did have a little concern as to whether ‘Food – past, present and future' might be a touch too ambitious. It could be that a more practical session would go down better. We have just had a very successful demonstration here on making sugar-icing flowers by Catherine Francis's former cleaning lady, of which the highlight was when the residents were allowed to place iced flowers on a cake Mrs. Cooper had brought with her. We do welcome any chance to empower our ladies and gentlemen. On another matter, you should know that your father has taken to insisting our young work-experience helper, Sophi, brings him cups of tea in his room with extra biscuits. Not only is this inconveniencing our staff, but he seems to believe for some reason that he is not getting his fair share of the provisions available for all our residents and is therefore determined to increase his portions. As you know, part of our philosophy here at Pilgrim House is to foster a community spirit, and it is such a shame when one of our residents doesn't feel able to take full advantage of all that entails. As you know, we set great store by the friendships our residents form with each other. It may be that if your father continues to be unhappy with the way things are run, then he would be more suited to another establishment, much as we would obviously hate to lose him.