Get Zombie: 8-Book Set (70 page)

It
rolls black for a long time, but I don’t want to fast forward
because I might miss something interesting. My mind wanders and I
begin to worry about my mum. She better not be drinking. She has
dialysis tomorrow.

The
screen flicks white…

DISSOLVE
FROM WHITE FLARE.

The
camera adjusts its brightness and focuses, revealing a bedroom.

INT.
BEDROOM – NIGHT

The
camera pans slowly to reveal the room as the TITLE dissolves onto
screen as if under water. There’s sweet Hawaiian music.

SUPERIMPOSE
TITLE:

Aloha
Mannequins

The
camera now picks up many mannequins, resting against the walls and on
the floor. The screen SPLIT-SCREENS, so that the left side of the
screen pans the walls, while the other shows CLOSE-UPS of the
mannequins, of eyes and noses and lips and scalps…

BEGIN
CREDIT SEQUENCE.

SUPERIMPOSE
INDIVIDUAL CREDITS OVER MANNEQUIN FACES:

Starring…

Dia
Golop

Kior
Flagmaster

Erort
Fannymay

Proppol
Evertsonny

Dragon
McGinnyot

Ragatony
See

Wartpot
Jackoer

Leslio
Germo

Chinkytop
Xtrox

Quiberton
Siomon Jew

Foop
Dingalinger

And…

Natfat
Chacony Hojew

Camera

Melano
V. Brighman

Camera
zooms in on mannequin’s blue eye.

SUPERIMPOSE
TEXT:

Directed
by

Natfat
Chacony Hojew

END
CREDIT SEQUENCE.

INT.
COLLEGE DORM – DAY

A
YOUNG JAPANESE GIRL, clothed, sits on a bed. She smiles into the
camera, which is being handheld by a geeky-sounding male. He zooms in
and out occasionally from her face to her boobs, which are miniature.

The
geek has a nervous crack to his voice. The young girl is calm and
professional.

There
is HAWAIIAN MUSIC.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Tell
us a little about yourself.

GIRL

My
name is Wendy Jefferson Suzuki. And I go to UH.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Oh,
interesting, interesting. I am very interested in what you do.

WENDY

Thank
you. I am very happy to be here.

GEEK
(o.s.)

What’re
you taking…here at UH?

WENDY

I’ll
soon be getting my doctoral degree in microbiology.

GEEK
(o.s.)

That’s
very interesting.

WENDY

What
are you taking?

GEEK
(o.s.)

NO
TALKING NOW!

Camera
zooms in on her hair, then tilts down to her sock-covered feet.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Wiggle
your toes for me. Ooooooh, yessm, Yessm. That’s hot, for some
reason. Oolala.

WENDY

I
love wiggling my toes. It makes my vagina humid.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Good.

(pause)

She
wiggles her toes or else she gets the hose again. My friend should be
here any moment now.

Camera
pans past a mirror, where we see the camera operator for a split
second before he SPINS AWAY, yelping.

GEEK
(o.s.)

It’s
okay. I can edit that out.

OTHER
VOICE (o.s.)

You
can’t edit out your mind’s eye.

JUMP
CUT:

Zoom
in on door. There’s a knock. Camera walks to door and opens it.

Natalie
walks in, pushing in a large, human-sized box with a handtruck.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Ah!
Right on time.

NATALIE

Sorry
I’m late.

GEEK
(o.s.)

(whispering)

Do
you have it?

NATALIE

(whispering)

You
will love it so much.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Good!
Allow me to introduce you to my

good
friend of many hours. Natalie, this is Wendy.

WENDY

Hello.

NATALIE

Ooooooooh.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Wendy’s
here for some fun, aren’t you, Wendy?

WENDY

I
love wiggling my toes. It makes my vagina clammy.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Silence,
toad!

NATALIE

Thou
shall utter the secret GO code!

GEEK
(o.s.)

Sky
Gimp!

NATALIE

Sky
Gimp!

GEEK
(o.s.)

Sky
Gimp!

NATALIE

Sky
Gimp!

GEEK
(o.s.)

Sky
Gimp!

NATALIE

Sky
Gimp!

GEEK
(o.s.)

Sky
Gimp!

NATALIE

Sky
Gimp! Good. You have repeated it the correct number of times. Let us
proceed.

Wendy
is scared.

Natalie
walks to the bed, looms over it, and grins at her. Wendy waves.
Natalie licks the box she’s holding and throws it to the
ground, angry. She makes love to the box for 5 seconds, and opens it
quickly.

The
camera operator helps her clear away the tiny, noisy popcorn balls.
The camera ZOOMS in slowly onto the mannequin inside. It’s a
male. Natalie stands it up. The mannequin is naked and so very white,
like paper. Its head is turned to the right, with both hands on its
hips.

Camera
quickly looks to Wendy. She is clearly lost. Mentally.

Natalie
holds out her hand to Wendy –

LOUD
KNOCK ON DOOR.

SCARY
MAN (o.s.)

Security!
Open up! What you guys do’n ova thea!?

NATALIE

Jiggers!
The fuzz!

GEEK
(o.s.)

Hide!

JUMP
CUT:

INT.
NATALIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Same
set up: Natalie holds out her hand. Wendy takes it…and stands
next to the mannequin. Natalie brushes Wendy’s hair with a
metal comb.

NATALIE

Make
love to it. Caress it. Want it. Feed it. Whisper sweet-somethings
into its ears. Touch its penis.

WENDY

Yessm,
master.

Natalie
guides Wendy down before it. Natalie blocks the camera, so it tries
to move around her. THEN –

WENDY
BOLTS UP.

WENDY

Jesus
Christ! Its thing is real!

NATALIE

TOUCH
THE PENIS!

WENDY

Release
me!

NATALIE

Rub
it! Smack it! Let herrr attack it!

GEEK
(o.s.)

Jesus
Christ!

There
is a struggle as they try to keep Wendy from running away.

WENDY

Mommy!
Mommy!

Wendy
breaks free and trips and falls into the camera, face-first.

BLACK.

SOUNDS
OF MUFFLED SCREAMS/A CHAIR FALLING/THUNDER/CANS BANGING TOGETHER.

CUE:
classical violin music.

BED.

Wendy
sits, motionless – her eyes are glazed over – she has
been crying. She is naked. The geeky cameraman tries to focus in on
her breasts.

Natalie
walks into frame, fixes up Wendy’s hair for the camera, and
sits down next to her – and pets her head. Natalie digs into
her own hair and produces a needle and dips the tip into a glass of
purple liquid and sticks its entire length through Wendy’s
forearm.

She
doesn’t move: Her eyes always forward.

The
cameraman MOANS. Then the camera shakes. Then from somewhere far
away, we hear the sudden roar of THUNDER. Natalie looks into the
camera.

NATALIE

This
is the new Age of Virgo Sheep.

The
camera nods.

GEEK
(o.s.)

Yesssssm.

FADE
OUT:

…silence…

FADE
IN:

INT.
BEDROOM – NIGHT

Wendy
is sitting on the bed – eyes empty. Natalie paints her body
with a white, thick substance.

Natalie
looks into the camera.

NATALIE

Now
it is your turn, oh child.

GEEK
(o.s.)

I
wish to be immortalized.

NATALIE

So
let it be painted…

JUMP
CUT:

GEEK

sits
on the bed, in the glowing nude, with his hands between his knees,
next to Wendy. He appears to have been crying.

GEEK

(into
camera)

So
let it be done.

He
turns to Natalie as she paints his thighs a shiny white. He begins to
sob. Wendy begins to sing vowels.

CUT
TO:

INT.
BATHROOM – NIGHT

It’s
very BRIGHT. The shower is on at full BLAST. Geek – now made
frozen into a mannequin – sits on the toilet as Natalie,
wearing a pink bathrobe, fingers his mouth like a jackhammer and
sucks on his nose while making strange erotic sounds.

She
takes her finger out from his mouth.

Geek
Mannequin looks into the camera’s general direction (though his
eyes are pure white) and opens his mouth to say something, but he
sounds like a RACCOON.

Natalie
claps her hands – slowly at first – and then HOOTS and
HOLLERS.

NATALIE

Hurray!
Hurray!

CUT
TO BLACK:

CUT
TO:

SAME
SHOT – STABLE/ON TRIPOD

INT.
BATHROOM – NIGHT

Natalie
HACKS at the Geek Mannequin repeatedly with two miniature axes.
Mannequin is frozen (has been posed) with his hands over his eyes –
mouth agape in horror.

With
three clunky chops, Natalie lops off his left arm; then with one,
large blow, off comes his right. Red fountains out from his shoulders
like two insane fire hoses.

The
mannequin doesn’t move an inch: Its face scared stiff.

Natalie
is covered in blood from hair to ankles, as if she just climbed out
from a giant can of red paint. She fixes her hair and walks to the
camera…the whites of her eyes shining through her red face.

NATALIE

I
am the sponge, and I have been fertilized.

FADE
OUT:

INT.
BEDROOM – NIGHT

Wendy
The Mannequin is on the floor, on her back, her arms spread out over
the carpet. Natalie is videotaping her.

Someone
is in the background, on the ground…

SCREEN
BLINKS OFF.

I
turn off the VCR and run into the kitchen and vomit into the sink –
into a frying pan with leftover tiny sausages, the kind with cheese
inside.

I
make a glass of water and set my tummy at ease.

Was
it all real?

Couldn’t
be.

I
want to call Polly. I want to ask her. But what if it disturbs her
and I don’t get the cameraman job? I can’t chance it. I
need the job. Need to pay rent. I can’t survive in the real
world with a real job – at least not forever. I don’t
want to be a bum living in Ala Park. That’s the lowest of the
low for me, I swear. If it ever did come to that, me having nothing
AT ALL except for my own skin, I would split my wrists.

I
decide to not make any waves with Polly.

I
microwave myself some cold pizza and eat my feelings. I should be
depressed more often. Then maybe I’d gain more weight and be a
fattie. I should create my own weight gain system.

PART
TWO

“Clean
Water”

THE
1st DAY OF WORK is on a Monday. Polly calls me up at 6am and tells me
to be ready by 6:1o. I say okay and hang up, then say obscenities at
the sunrays creeping into my bedroom window.

“Obscenities!”

I
can’t stand mornings. They tell me, “Yessm! Another day
of hell for you! Another day possibly wasted!”

Well,
dear Sun, maybe not today.

I
shower for 3o seconds, shampooing my hair with Fructis, and get
dressed and walk outside, hopping into Polly’s car.

We
have to drive to Aina Haina, to the shoot location: Some rich house
on the high hills.

On
the freeway, Polly asks if I’ve eaten. I tell her no, and she
gives me a lump of tinfoil. I open it up and eat the fried banana
rolls inside. It’s yummy.

The
fastest way to my heart?

My
mouth.

And
penis.

But
it’s my mouth first.

Raindrops
begin to splat against the windshield. We’re getting close to
the house. I begin to get nervous. I want to do a good job. I don’t
even care about what my friends or family will say anymore. I just
want to work at a job that I find fun and/or interesting, to make
enough money to buy cigarettes and go out drinking at Scores while we
all play darts – then go out to Hawaiian Brian’s on BYOB
nights and drink more beer and play more darts.

The
great thing about Brian’s is that they’ve got a video
arcade, pool tables (their main attraction) and 8 dartboards, and
because there’s a club next door – Blue Tropix –
you have eye-candy strutting in every now and then.

That’s
good cake.

There
are actually two clubs: Blue Tropix, where the hippidy hoppers go,
and that Black Building, where all the Gothos & Depressos go.

They
all come together at Brain’s.

The
nexus of the universe.

Aina
Haina makes me ill. My ex lives here – well, last I checked
anyway. I don’t tell Polly. I don’t want her feeling
sorry for me – no pity applause, please. Polly drives by my
ex’s house and I can’t help myself but look.

No
one outside.

Good.

If
I did see her, oh I don’t know, raking or something, it would
be a thorn in my mind that would take another 3 fucking years to dig
out (exhales, depressingly).

That’s
a good name for a band:

Exhales
Depressingly

And
it’s not that I don’t love her. I do. It’s just
that she’s off and married and happy with someone else (who I’m
sure is a good guy) that’s not me. I see her now and I feel
used & abused & worthless. Just not good enough. Sorry Rubs,
do not pass Go.

I
miss feeling wanted.

Blarghhhh…

The
good thing about the breakup was that when it ended, it ENDED. No
phone calls, no possibilities. Wow. She’s “off limits”
now. Doesn’t matter how much I care. Doesn’t matter what
I think. Just gotta mooooove on like a sad cow. It’s hideous.
Dark days ahead folks. Very dark.