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Authors: Sarah Ballance

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Chapter Thirteen

Five weeks later

Vail, Colorado

Taylor stirred her coffee and leveled her best schoolmarm look on Ellie. The youthful blonde didn’t have a prayer of pulling off the grumpy elder persona, but Ellie appreciated the attempt. Sort of.

“Call him,” Taylor said. “Text him. Do
something
.”

She shook her head and gripped her cup with both hands. Three nights in the desert had made her soft. More than a month after leaving Vegas, she still couldn’t shake the chill. Couldn’t stop seeing fiery sunsets and pale blue eyes. Wanting warmth. “Nope. He made himself clear.”

“Which is probably why he feels like too much of a jackass to call you,” Taylor shot back. “So you call him.”

“Because it’s just that easy.”

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, El. And neither does this funk you’ve been in for the past few weeks.” Taylor softened her voice. “He has a right to know.”

“I think he gave up his right to know anything when he ended things via a note on hotel stationary.”

Taylor shrugged. “At least he didn’t do it with a text message.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “At least. But I’d like to point out the fact that you just killed your whole
text him
argument. Some things just need to be said out loud.”

Taylor’s gaze narrowed. “Which kind of kills your argument to not say them.”

Ellie shook her head and willed away the heat that threatened her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry over him. Not anymore. “You don’t understand. They were said. They were said and said and said. It was just a weekend thing. A crippling, mind blowing, orgasmic weekend thing, and it’s over.”

“Suit yourself,” Taylor said, though she didn’t sound the least bit convinced. “But two things. First, I’m going to stop listening to this. Like, yesterday.”

“Kind of makes point number two moot, doesn’t it?”

Taylor glared. “Nevertheless, point number two. If you don’t talk to him soon, I’m going to fly to Las Vegas and kick his ass until he agrees to come back here to listen to what you have to say.”

“How very ladylike of you,” Ellie said dryly.

“Says the woman who got screwed upside down and sideways just a few feet from a crowded ballroom
and
half the Las Vegas PD.”

Ellie’s face heated. “
Half
might be an exaggeration.”

“Whatever. Call him.”

She didn’t argue, mostly because there wasn’t much point. Unless Taylor had one. Maybe he was having second thoughts and hadn’t said anything because of the way they’d left things. Because they’d both said all along it was just for the weekend. Or maybe he was just waiting for her.

“You can keep right on waiting,” she muttered.

“Talking to yourself?” Taylor’s voice sounded from across the coffee shop.

Ellie hadn’t noticed her friend had left the table. Maybe it was the thin air. A lack of oxygen had to have an effect on a person, not that anyone else seemed all that affected. Sheesh. One weekend in Vegas and weeks later she still hadn’t recovered.

Her gaze skated around the room. Midafternoon, the place was surprisingly empty. Although for February, the weather was pleasant. Below freezing, but not below zero. It was a great day for skiing, but Ellie was off that day, at least from the slopes. Instead of sitting at home in Minturn, she’d driven to Vail to meet Taylor on her break, and she’d brought along Murphy so he wouldn’t destroy her house in her absence. She watched through the glass as he ran circles around one of the local kids, who laughed and tried to outspin him. Considering the pace at which the leash wrapped around the kid, it looked like the dog had the win.

“I’ve got to get back to work,” Taylor said. She, too, had turned her attention to the out-of-doors. “Nice day for the slopes. The ER is probably hopping.”

“You’re so morbid.”

Taylor smiled sweetly. “I prefer practical. You coming with?”

“Just to the doors. I can’t take Murphy inside the hospital.”

The smile disappeared behind a mock scowl. “You need to take him to the loony bin. I swear I’ve never seen that mutt sit still.”

“Speaking of which,” Ellie said with a grin, “when is your date with the delivery guy?”

“Friday. Might be awkward, though, seeing as how he’s already heard me passionately yelling over how a body like that had to be smokin’ in bed.”

Ellie burst out laughing. “You included that in your rant to a dog? One who was cowering?”

Taylor shrugged. “What can I say? It was an impassioned speech. Besides, it needed to be said.”

As Taylor spoke, the kid in charge of the dog hit the sidewalk and Murphy pounced. The two rolled in the snow along the edge of the walkway, the kid laughing and the dog’s tongue lolling. “Great,” Ellie said of the kid. “He’s going to be soaked when he gets home. His mom is going to kill me.”

“No she won’t. You’re the only one crazy enough to babysit for them.”

Ellie laughed. The family had eight kids, and Taylor had a point. Two for two, not that the one about Jax counted. Ellie sighed and pushed back from the table. She was glad her cup was still full. It wouldn’t stay hot long outside, but it was better than nothing. Something had to keep her warm.

Outside, kid and beast were more tangled than she expected. She handed Taylor her drink and went to work, but the retractable leash had somehow ended up fully extended and was in knots. “What did you two do?” she asked as she tried to extract little Matthew from the tangled nylon strap.

The boy shrugged with all the innocence of childhood. Made her ache inside, to think of Jax and his note.

“I’m not sure what happened,” Matthew said.

Murphy barked. Whether in agreement or dissidence, Ellie wasn’t sure.

“You can see the guilt all over his snout,” Taylor said. “The dog, I mean. Not the kid.”

Ellie blew a frustrated breath as Murphy ran yet another circle, further worsening the mess. The leash was wound so thoroughly around Matthew’s arm that she’d never get it undone with Murphy bouncing around. “I’m going to have to unhook the leash. Murphy, sit.”

The dog sat, but not convincingly.

“I mean it,” Ellie warned.

Murphy yawned, and his tongue never made it back in his mouth. He sat there, tongue hanging out in the freezing air, like he hadn’t a clue.

“Idiot,” Ellie muttered. “Here goes nothing. Murphy,
stay
.”

She unclipped the leash and started unwinding it from the kid, keeping one eye on the dog. He sat serenely…at least long enough for her to get almost as tangled in the leash as Matthew. Then his butt started to wriggle, and pretty soon he was on his feet.

“Murphy,
sit
.”

He lunged like she’d ordered it, his unruly mixed-breed hide bounding joyfully through the snow.

Ellie’s hands were all but tied. Literally.

Taylor dropped the coffee making a grab for him and missed. “Shit…er, crap.”

“I’ve got him,” Ellie said, disengaging as quickly as she could. “Help Matthew, would you?”

Taylor shook off the coffee that had splattered her and went to work.

Ellie turned in time to see Murphy take off after a rabbit.
Great
. She responded with a shrill whistle. To her surprise, Murphy stopped, then turned and tore back across the snow toward her.

“Must have cold feet,” Taylor said. “Either that or that dog has some sense after all.”

Ellie barely heard her. The sound of an approaching car caught her attention, and with horror she realized it was moving fast. She tried jumping and waving, but the driver didn’t appear to notice her. The dog didn’t seem to notice the car.
Oh, God
.

Ellie darted across the road at the same time Murphy did.

No time
.

It was her last thought before a bone-crushing impact brought her to her knees.

Chapter Fourteen

Jax had been playing quarter slots, two dollars at a time, for the better part of a month. It was ridiculous, really, but he found a semblance of peace there. Not much, but he’d take it. He didn’t have much else to do. Focker was back to wherever cover models did their thing, and Jax had gotten some kind of citizen’s accommodation for tackling the gunman. He’d barely looked at the paper before tossing it on a pile of junk mail keeping the dust off his end table, then proceeded to turn down every job offered him. He had money, didn’t need it. What he needed was the drive to go out there. Risk everything.

What he needed was Colorado.

He needed a mountain to climb.

Her words haunted him. So did her touch. Her eyes. Her fucking uterus. He couldn’t work—not like that. Not wondering if he might leave the world with his kid in it. He’d googled and now knew more about fertility than he ever cared to. Enough to know that Ellie should have known within two or three weeks of leaving if she was pregnant with his child.

And he’d counted five.

He’d dreamed of her every night. Sometimes of losing her, but mostly of holding her. Holding on. But he’d left her a note, and then he’d watched her go.

He’d fucking watched her go
.

Every thought of that moment nearly killed him. At the time he thought he was being strong. Thinking of someone other than himself for once. Making a sacrifice. Maybe he was and maybe all that was true, but no amount of rationalization changed the fact that he’d let her go. Hadn’t fought. Hadn’t tried.

Just
watched
.

He’d given up bacon. Had a new favorite T-shirt, but he didn’t wash it. Didn’t wear it. Just kept it on his pillow, inhaling her scent. He hadn’t been back to the park since the day the sunset had filled her eyes. He thought about going back, but knowing she wouldn’t be there made it impossible to put one foot in front of the other. He was done with the desert.

The mountains called him. He thought about one in particular and wondered how he’d feel up there now that the view had changed. The ache in his heart demanded he find out. But he needed Ellie.

He stared at the machine in front of him. In all his years there, he’d never quite figured out which pictures constituted a jackpot and which a loss. The days of three pictures calling the shots were long gone. Now dozens of images crowded the screen, none of them meaning anything to him.

Nothing did.

His phone dinged. He almost didn’t check.

But he did.

Colorado
, the screen read. He clicked the notification and her message filled the screen.

At the emergency room. Bad news. Don’t want to be alone. There are some things I should say. Can we talk?

He stared at the words, and in one brief second he translated them a thousand different ways. But only one thing mattered.

Ellie needed him.

He didn’t stop to cash out his credits on the machine. Didn’t go home to pack. Just ran out of the casino and grabbed the first cab he saw. On the way to the airport, he searched flights. The next one to Vail was six hours via fucking Dallas, but he could be in Denver in less than two. He booked it via his phone. If he didn’t miss the flight, he’d be on the ground in two and a half hours. He’d rent a car and be…where? He couldn’t remember where she lived—only that he’d never heard of the town—but he knew she worked in Vail. He’d start there. He’d have a two hour drive from Denver, but he’d need the time on the ground. That particular come to Jesus moment was long overdue.

Overdue, but it wouldn’t be easy.

Curbside at McCarran, he paid and tipped the cabbie and hot footed it to check in. The line was blessedly nonexistent but the ticket agent was talkative. He bit his tongue. At some point she realized his plane was going to leave the gate at any minute and finally let him through.

He made it past security. Boarded the plane with nothing but his wallet and his cell phone. He must have looked crazy enough all strung out on coffee and memories that if anyone was supposed to sit next to him, they didn’t. He wasn’t even wearing a jacket. Not ideal for Denver in February—let alone a few thousand feet higher in Vail—but there was nothing that could happen when he got there that would leave him caring if his arms were cold. Either Ellie would want him or she wouldn’t. Regardless, the weather would be the least of his worries.

Not until the plane ate up the tarmac and lifted off did the enormity of what he was doing hit him. Two months ago, he couldn’t have imagined anything important enough to get him back to Colorado. Back then, stepping a toe across the state line would have brought him to his knees. Going to the mountains wouldn’t have happened. Not for any reason.

Now he had one, and he just hoped it wasn’t too late to tell her.

From the air, despite the miles between them, the desert morphed into the snow-covered Rockies far too quickly. He looked at the peaks without seeing them, wondering which one was Gracie’s without really wanting to know. When he closed his eyes he saw that red hat disappearing under the churning snow and ice.

When he opened them, he saw Ellie.

The woman he loved.

He fucking
loved Ellie.

And he’d lost her. He’d more than lost her…he’d pushed her. Watched her go, too afraid of what he felt for her to try to stop her from leaving.

And then what?
The words had been his mantra, day in, day out. Everything he wanted to say, wanted to do, had always ended up in that same place.
Then what
. Because he couldn’t change who he was. Couldn’t change what he’d lost. The more he wanted her, the more he realized he didn’t deserve her. But damned if anyone else did. No one could love her like he did. He made a mental note not to lead with that. It sounded stalkerish and a little creepy, especially if he hit his knees and started begging.

But first she had to be okay.

The plane touched down in more of a controlled wreck than an actual landing. The pilot, who had clearly missed his calling as a Las Vegas cab driver, joked over the intercom about the thin air in the Mile High City and made Jax exceptionally happy he hadn’t booked a return trip. He didn’t think his stomach could handle it.
Yeah, just stay here.
Where he’d lost Gracie.

Where he stood to lose Ellie. Maybe he already had.

After he cleared the jetway, he rented an SUV and pointed it west. He had one stop to make, and he made it count. Then he hit I-70, cursed the construction all the way to the city line, and then pushed the hell out of the speed limit. The road, four lanes winding at steep inclines through sheer rock faces and blankets of snow, should have been his worst nightmare, but it was the unknown at the other end of his journey that got to him. He wondered if she’d texted him again, but he didn’t dare look. Not with his tires eating up the miles at breakneck speed.

By the time he found the exit for the hospital, his heart was in his throat. And he wasn’t even sure it actually was the right exit for the right hospital…just that there was a chance. He prayed Ellie was okay. Even if she hated him, he just wanted her to be okay.

He found a parking spot halfway occupied by plowed snow and parked there anyway. Exiting the SUV required equal parts skill and luck, but he managed not to break his neck on the way to the pavement, after which he sprinted to the building. He tore through the emergency room doors, nearly knocking an EMT off his feet. Over on a bank of waiting room chairs, a kid started crying. The god-awful smell of antiseptic and cleaning chemicals assaulted him. He barreled toward the admissions desk. “Ellie Montgomery. Where is she?”

The young blond woman at the admissions desk gave him one of those long, slow looks that belonged in chick flicks and romance novels, and most certainly not in emergency rooms. “Well, hot damn,” she said after a moment. “You’re Vegas.”

More of an accusation than a statement. But clearly she knew about him, which might work in his favor. Or maybe not. The light bulb went off. “You’re Taylor.”

“Way to read my name tag, genius. Ellie’s not here. Which kind of begs the question, why are you?”

“She told me she was in the emergency room,” he said. “She works here, so I assumed she’d
be
here.”

“She volunteers here,” Taylor corrected with absolutely no angst in her voice. “She works on the mountain. And wrong emergency room.”

He fought for patience. Ellie had to be okay, or her friend wouldn’t be giving him hell. Unless Ellie wasn’t okay…
especially
if she wasn’t okay because of him. “How many can there be around here?”

She crossed her arms and hit him with a masterful glare. “At least one more.”

“Which hospital?”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Because she sent me a goddamn text, that’s why!” Several people turned to look. The kid had stopped crying to stare. The woman with him wore a death glare. Across from them, an old woman’s brow disappeared into her blue hair. Jax bit his tongue. Lowering his voice a notch he said, “Look, I’m sorry. She sent me a text saying she didn’t want to be alone. I’ll show you if you want. Anything. Just please tell me where I can find her.”

Taylor sighed. “I think this is the part where I threaten your balls if you hurt her, but I’m pretty sure the water under that particular bridge is mightier than the Colorado.”

He stared evenly. “The Colorado River is a stream here—one you can cross on foot. What’s your point?”

The woman tried to bury a smile and lost. “I almost like you, Vegas. But I’m serious. She’s not in a good place right now, so if you barrel in there…wait. Why didn’t she tell you where to go? Does she even know you’re here?”

“No. And she’s not going to if you don’t tell me where to find her.”

“She texted you and you didn’t reply?”

“I came.” The words clogged his throat. Questions followed. Was Ellie pregnant? Had she lost their baby? He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to violate her privacy. “I need to see her. Please.”

The woman studied him for an endless minute, then sighed. “She’s at this animal hospital. Head west.” She scrawled a name on a pad of paper and tore off the sheet. Reminded him of how he’d left Ellie.

Animal hospital
. He blinked. “She’s okay?”

“No, you asshole.” Taylor glared, leaving no room to doubt what she thought of Jax. “She’s absolutely
not
okay, but you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

Relief evaporated. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Just do right by her.”

“That’s the plan.” He took the paper and took off running. After a harrowing climb back into the SUV, he searched the animal hospital and memorized the way to get there. Then he floored it…but only until he hit the legal speed limit. No point in wasting time on the side of the road in front of highway patrol.

He found the place within a few minutes. Managed a more conventional parking spot this time. And froze. This was it.

This was the rest of his life.

He snatched the keys out of the ignition, took a deep breath, and headed inside.

BOOK: Gambling on the Bodyguard
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