“I know exactly what you mean,” she assured him, continuing to rub his back.
Several moments of silence ensued but it wasn’t awkward. It seemed to fit. Beck didn’t move, just closed his eyes as if he was waiting for the indescribable feeling to pass.
“Beck?”
His eyes opened and looked at her.
“Do you think maybe it’s because…you’re starting to care about me too?”
The look of fear that crossed his face would have been comical if she hadn’t so badly have wanted him just to admit it. Instead, he jerked back as though she’d burned him.
“Carmondy! Surprise!” Kendall’s voice cut the moment like a knife. “I know you’re here! I saw your car. You need to learn to answer you’re damn pho—”
The slightly ajar bedroom door swung open and Ken just stood there, her eyes going wide and her mouth falling open.
Beck rolled off of Carmondy, the tangled sheets keeping them covered from the waist down but Carmondy automatically pulled them up to cover her chest also.
“Oh my God.” Kendall blinked. “I...what...Jesus, Car! At least lock your door.”
“Well, don’t barge into people’s apartments!”
“I wanted it to be a surprise...” She averted her eyes. “Seriously, guys.”
Another voice sounded from the living room and Car squeaked, trying to hide deeper under the sheets.
Seeing her embarrassment, Beck automatically rolled over and put his arms around her to tuck her face against his chest. He also pulled the sheet up to cover her bare back before turning to Kendall.
“How many people are here?” he asked.
“Just us girls.” Kendall turned and yelled into the living room, “Everyone just sit down and watch TV. Car will be right out.”
Kendall turned back to the bed. “Anyway, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I left a message on your phone. Girls’ day? Is that...okay or...?”
“We were done,” Car mumbled into Beck’s shoulder, starting to pull away.
Beck nodded and slid over her and off the bed, naked and all.
“Jeez, Beck, don’t bother with a little modesty or anything,” Ken said, looking all around the room in effort to avoid his nakedness.
“Got no reason to.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of the whole point of modesty.”
Beck shrugged and pulled his boxer briefs on, followed by his jeans. He picked up Car’s clothes too and set them on the bed within her reach.
Ken was still standing in the doorway. “You know, Beck, I was thinking about calling a male stripper but since you’re already here and have such a great—”
“You wish.”
She shrugged. “Yes. Yes I do.”
Car started getting dressed as Beck pulled his T-shirt on and headed for the door. “Beck, wait.”
He paused.
“Uh, Kendall, can we...?”
“Oh, right. God, why the hell am I still standing here? I am so creepy.” She shook her head and left the room, shutting the door behind her.
“Beck, I...”
He waited.
“Don’t you...that was...you don’t want to talk about it, do you?”
His mood seemed to have changed. “No.”
“Is something wrong?” she asked, hesitantly.
“I have to go.”
Carmondy didn’t say anything.
“Look. Don’t overthink it.”
“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “What about your homework?”
“We can do it in the morning.” He went back to the door, a hand on the doorknob.
“Okay... Beck?”
He turned back. He seemed to be fighting with himself internally.
“Never mind,” she said.
He left without another word, leaving Carmondy to get dressed and meet the girls out in the living room. She decided that she wasn’t going to ponder Beck’s sudden bad mood. Today had been an emotional roller coaster for him, so of course he was having issues. That was just Beck.
Kendall grinned up at her from her spot on the couch. “Had fun?”
“Yep, until we got interrupted.”
“You said you were done.”
“Yeah, but we were still naked in bed and he was still like...”
“On top of you?” Kendall offered, her eyes shining with amusement.
“Yeah.” She slumped down on the other side of the couch. “So, what’s the deal?” she asked, looking around at the girls lounging in her living room.
Kendall shrugged. “Girls’ night in. We brought chick flicks. Pop one of those suckers in, Tor.”
Torie pulled a movie off the pile on the coffee table and put it in the DVD player.
“And we brought chips, chocolate and pop!” Alli exclaimed, bringing the load of food from the dining room table to the coffee table.
“Awesome. So...movie night?”
Sydney shrugged. “Nah, that’s just for background noise. We were thinking no holds barred, anything goes, girl talk. Topic: All Things Sex.” She set down a pile of
Cosmopolitan
and
GQ
magazines along with the food and DVDs.
Car’s eyes surveyed the stack of magazines filled with sex stories, sex positions, oral sex, sex secrets, the works. “I’m game.”
Kendall grinned. “We hoped you’d say that.”
“Why?”
Kendall looked around at the girls. Kiley spoke up. “Well, we all know that you’re...one of the most experienced girls here. At least, as of late. We have questions.”
“Oh, uh...I don’t know if I’m qualified...”
“Nothing like that, just...Beck...is he amazing or what?”
And so the talk went on. They browsed through the magazines, everyone laughing and picking their favorite sex position from the little diagrams shown. Car held a vote and they decided Hugh Jackman was indeed the hottest man on Earth.
The topic went from sex positions, to embarrassing stories, to who’s-done-what, to screaming, to hands jobs and finally to oral. For some reason, they all turned to Kendall for this topic.
“What?” she asked.
“Well,” Torie said. “We all you know and Andy used to mess around a lot but never had sex. Sooo...spill!”
Kendall blushed for the first time in the conversation. “Oh...no, I...”
“So you haven’t gone down on him?” Alli asked.
“Well, of course, but...I don’t know if I can...it’s...come on, guys!”
“No way,” Car said. “You made us all talk about our stories. It’s your turn to give us some details.”
All the girls agreed.
Kendall sighed. “Okay, fine. What do you want to know?”
Kiley spoke up first. “Is it fun?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, like...it sounds like a lot of girls hate it. They just do it because they feel obligated. Is there an upside to it?”
“Well, yeah! I wouldn’t do it otherwise.”
“Sooo...?” Torie prodded. “What does it feel like?”
“Let me get this straight, not one of you has ever given a guy head?”
“Nope.”
“No.”
“Never had sex of any sort.”
“I want to.”
Kendall nodded. “Alli?”
“You know that I have, and you know that I don’t share. It’s fucking sexy, and I love doing it. End.”
“Not helpful.” Car turned to Kendall. “Come on, Ken, tell us.”
“Well, yeah, I liked it. A lot. And not just because it was fun but...it usually drives the guy crazy. Andy loved it.” She paused slightly, as if she was dealing with some lingering emotions. “I liked it even more because of how much he enjoyed it, if that makes sense.”
“What about...did you ever...choke?” Tor asked.
Kendall blushed some more, but seemed to be growing more and more comfortable as the talk went on. “I don’t know, not once you learn how to do it. At first...you know, the gag reflex kicks in, but once your body kind of gets used to it, it’s fine.”
“Doesn’t it taste bad?” Kiley asked.
Ken and Alli laughed. “No, I mean, you want to shower before, especially if it’s with like...an athlete right after practice.” Kendall looked pointedly at Car. “But other than that...no, it’s pretty much just sexy.”
Alli nodded in agreement.
“So...how do you actually...do it?” Sydney asked the question that was on Car’s mind.
“You just kind of have to go with it and learn as you go. I mean, the first time me and Andy...you know…I was really nervous but I really wanted to. He was awesome and he helped teach me. We just went really slowly and eventually you work up to the heavier stuff.”
“Like what?” Car asked.
“Like...you know...deep throat.” Kendall sounded increasingly embarrassed. “And once there’s the right level of trust he can...I let Andy, you know, take control and...I don’t know how to put this...”
“Fuck your mouth and throat?” Alli offered, very nonchalant.
A series of shocked gasps were followed by giggles.
Kiley almost choked on her soda. “People do that?”
Kendall smiled. “Yeah.”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
She shook her head. “Not if he does it right.”
“Gently, you mean?” Car asked.
“Not necessarily. He can do it hard and keep it from hurting. But like I said, you have to have a good amount of trust. The guy has to know and care about what he’s doing.”
“But does it feel good?” Tor asked.
“Yeah. I mean, not in the same way as regular sex might, or even getting oral, but...the feel of it...you know. You just have to relax and...kind of surrender to it. It makes it so amazing.”
“What positions did you use?”
“Well, that depends. If I was just giving him a blowjob then we did a lot of different stuff. But when he wanted to...you know...”
“Fuck your mouth and throat,” Alli repeated.
“Yeah.” Kendall rolled her eyes. “When we did that, I was usually kneeling in front of him and his hands held the back of my head.”
“What did you do with your hands when you guys did it like that?” Sydney asked.
Kendall blushed furiously. “I usually kept them behind my back.”
Torie frowned. “Why?”
Kendall glanced around the room. “Oh, you know...they were usually...locked back there.”
The girls looked intrigued.
“You were handcuffed?” Kiley asked.
“Umm, well, not exactly. Andy and I had leather wrist and ankle cuffs that you lock on and then can lock to each other. He used those. Well, it wasn’t real leather because Andy doesn’t like skinning cows but you know, it felt like leather.”
The girls absorbed this information, though it wasn’t news to Carmondy. “You said wrist and ankle cuffs?”
“Yeah.”
“What other things did you use them for?” Alli asked.
“Lots of stuff. You can use them to lock someone up into positions. Or the more hardcore stuff.”
“Like what?” Kiley asked, very curious.
“Well, like locking someone to something, like a bed or whatever. Or for spreader bars and things like that.”
“Spreader bars?” Tor asked.
“Yeah, like instead of locking the ankles together, you attach each cuff to a bar, usually...three feet or more.”
“How do you walk?” Kiley asked.
Kendall shook her head. “You can’t. Or if you can, it’s really hard. That’s kind of the point. Again, it’s a trust thing.”
Kiley shook her head. “I don’t understand how that is a turn on. Why would you want to do that?”
“It’s hard to explain to someone who’s never tried it or isn’t into it. It’s like you’re exposed. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a huge turn on to know that the guy can do what he wants.”
“Isn’t it scary?”
“Not if you trust him.” Ken looked to Car for backup.
“Yeah, I know it can sound scary,” Carmondy explained, “but if you trust them, it’s not a bad kind of scary. It’s a sexy, excited, huge turn-on kind of scary.”
“But still scary?” Kiley asked.
“Not scary because you think he’ll hurt you. It’s scary to not be in control of your own body. You’re not actually scared of him, but of what you know he can do. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” Torie said.
Sydney nodded. “Like a scary movie—it’s scary as hell but you still love watching it.”
Car grinned. “Exactly. Screaming and all.”
Kiley looked shocked. She had obviously never had any kind of exposure to the kinky side of sex. “Not all guys...I mean...right? Do all guys want...it that way?”
Kendall shook her head firmly. “No. Definitely not. It’s just something Andy and I were into, and Beck and Car have dabbled in. It’s a mutual thing anyway. So even if I guy is into it, the girl doesn’t have to be.”
Kiley looked immensely relieved. “So you and Andy always did it like that?”
“Not always, but usually in some form. But we switched roles often—he liked to take it just as much as he liked to give it.”
Car smiled. “So it’s just as fun to pull the dominatrix on them?”
“Definitely. It’s different, but still amazing.” Kendall smiled fondly.
Carmondy laughed. “Okay, stop fantasizing about Andy. This is a girls’ night. So let’s move on to a more girly topic.”
“What’s more girly than sex?” Alli asked.
“Lots of things,” Car said. “Besides, I think we’ve traumatized poor Kiley.”
They all looked at the younger girl, who just sat there munching on potato chips, staring off into space.
“So no more sex talk?” Torie asked.
“I think we’ve had our fill,” Carmondy said.
“Probably true,” Sydney said. “But at least you get to do more than talk about it.”
“Yeah,” Alli said. “You’re so damn lucky. I mean...Beck? Sex god.”
“I thought we’ve been through this. What Beck and I have is just physical.”
“You sure about that?” Ken asked.
Carmondy opened her mouth but then realized she didn’t have an answer. Her mind flashed to Beck and how he’d kissed her just a few hours ago.
Her friend gave her a knowing smile. “That’s what I thought.”