Full Count (The Catcher Series Book 1) (40 page)

             “It
’
s hard to fucking be here,”
he whispers to me as I wrap my arms around his neck. Skyler holds me the
tightest I have ever experienced, and I can feel the need being squeezed out of
me. It
’
s nice that after all the time of me needing him,
Skyler actually needs me back.

             “I know,” I whimper. “But you know what? I
’
m here… and we
’
re here together. And we
beat this. Because we always win. You and me.”

            His shoulders fall into a relaxed state as he sighs
and starts massaging the back of my head. “You
’
re
unbelievable, you know that?” he says, never taking his eyes off mine.

             “I hope that
’
s a good
unbelievable,” I innocently say as I smirk at him in the darkness surrounding
us. Before he can answer, I command, “Kiss me.”

             “You don
’
t have to ask me
twice,” he adds before pressing his lips against mine. Every time he kisses me
I lose myself in him completely; it
’
s my heaven on earth,
my own little perfect world. The memory replays in my mind of when I sneaked
out to jump off the high dive during the night and Skyler followed me. After I
jumped in he almost gave me my first kiss in the water right below. I still
hate the lake patrol for taking that away from me. The same bubbly feeling is
in my stomach, only intensified by an infinite degree.

            In between one set of kisses, I quickly ask Skyler, “You
have your wallet with you right now, right?”

            His head jolts back in surprise as he questions me
being bat shit crazy. “You want to fuck right here?”

             “Yes,” I firmly answer. But I
’
m
so anxious to see if he will deny me this.

             “B, you
’
re serious?” he asks me
again.

             “Yes. So we can close that bad memory and open a new
one,” I plead.

            After a very long moment of him torturously silently
inside his own head, he seems to accept my idea but then suddenly defers. “
I don’
t have my wallet,” he sighs.
Really, Sky?
I
’
m so disappointed. I want to do this so badly so he can finally
feel closure from the accident and-

             “But I did bring a condom in my pocket,” he adds,
interrupting my thoughts. Instantly I jump up and kiss him on the cheek. “I
knew wherever you were bringing me it was because you wanted to fuck there.”

             “Thank you,” I smile. Then I flip from sappy to
sexy, kissing him slowly from his collarbone up to his ear where I lightly bite
his earlobe. He lets out a small moan, alerting me that that move affects him. “Sky,
are you ready for this?” I hope flirtatiously.

             “We
’
ve waited long enough,” he
thinks aloud, reaching to roll my shirt over my head, exposing my boobs to the
brisk air. Thankfully it
’
s too cold for mosquitoes to
still be out by the water. Within a moment I
’
m already
shivering, so he throws off his shirt and puts it around my shoulders. The
blanket lays on the dock a few feet away from us. “Lay down.” I follow his
command as he fluffs my shirt like a pillow beneath my head. I
’
m
not even sure how both of our pants come off, but soon I
’
m
left in just my panties that read, “I dare you.” What? I had a feeling we were
going to fuck this weekend; I had to be ready.

            Skyler kisses the words but then removes my panties
so fast I
’
m certain they had to have ripped. He brings his
hand against me, and I
’
m already wet enough that I could
’
ve filled the whole lake if it had been empty. But he wants to
make sure I
’
m ready before he completely fills me, and I
appreciate that. I really don
’
t want it to hurt.

             “Sky… Skylerrrrrrr,” I barely breathe as he works
his fingers in me and his lips on mine. I
’
m conscious
about keeping my voice at my absolute quietest so the lake patrol won
’
t fucking ruin this moment, too. When I start feeling a cool
sensation between my legs, I can
’
t control the noises I
’
m making.

             “Shhh,” he coos. That sends me over the edge. He isn
’
t even inside me yet, and I
’
m already
satisfied. With his free hand Skyler combs through my long straightened locks
and gives me a short head massage. I internally coach myself to come back down
to reality and look at him as he towers over me. For a moment he
’
s
smiling, like almost ear to ear. That, on top of the satisfaction he just made
me feel, forces a smile to sneak out of my expression, too. He becomes serious
again when he asks, “You ready, sweetheart?” All I can do is nod. I can
’
t form words for what I
’
m
feeling. I
’
ve dreamt of this happening so many
times in so many different places, but nothing compares to being in this moment
with him. “It might hurt at first, but tell me if it
’
s too
much,” he requests.

             “
Wait!
” I gasp, sticking my
hand out to his tight chest.

             “What? What is it?” Skyler asks, examining my naked
body underneath him.

             “Why are you talking like you
’
ve
done this before? I thought you said you were a virgin and waited for me,” I
panic.

             “B, look at me and relax,” he directs me, using a
finger to brush the hair out of my eyes from when I jolted forward. With his
forehead resting on mine and our eyes almost touching, he whispers, “I
’
ll be a virgin for another ten seconds… I love you, and I didn
’
t bullshit you. I waited.” He kisses me with his warm and
secure lips, but then further convinces me, “I actually read my health textbook
and paid attention in class when they covered sex so that when
this
moment came I knew what I
’
d be doing so I didn
’
t fucking hurt you. Plus I
’
ve seen a lot
of movies since then to know the girl
’
s first time isn
’
t always the most comfortable.”

             “Oh,” I breathe in, closing my eyes and clawing at
Skyler
’
s abs for assurance. A wave of relief rushes over
me. “You thought about having sex with me when you were in seventh grade health
class?”

            He smolders at me as he realizes this fun fact. “I
guess I
’
ve been in love with you a lot fucking longer than
we both thought,”
Skyler chuckles.
“You still want to do
this, sweetheart?”

             “Yeah,” I lose my breath from the way he
’
s looking at me like he would actually be okay if we stopped
this right now - even though I know that
’
s not what he
wants. Clearly he
’
s thought about this for a while, too.
The amount of respect and love we have for each other is overwhelming enough to
continue through this milestone, so I bring his head down to meet mine and
exchange a long kiss.

            And then he slowly breaks my seal. It doesn
’
t hurt as bad as I thought it would, probably because his eyes
are distracting me. They
’
re just as full of trust and
happiness as I am in this moment; that much I know. It will forever be my
favorite moment in my life, sharing this intimacy with my best friend, my soul
mate, my hero.

            Skyler covers all my bases as we rock back and forth
on the dock, and he never takes his eyes off me. I
’
m sure
part of it is out of concern for me passing out in the middle of it or wanting
to read my face to make sure I
’
m not pretending he isn
’
t hurting me. After the first few slow thrusts, I
’
m
hooked. I wrap my legs around his waist and mirror his hip movements to create
a fully satisfying sensation. His breath grows deep and quick, and he gives me
a small not-so-innocent smile, which makes me beg for him.

             “Faster,” I plead, reaching up and messing his hair
with my fingers as I pull it out of instinct. I can
’
t get
enough of him, even when he leans down and kisses my boobs, seriously
increasing my desire for him. “Mmmmm, fuck me.”

            He lets out a deep moan in his throat as he tries to
control himself from going overboard. “Say it again,” he demands, coming back
up to meet my gaze, our noses touching as he waits in anticipation for me to
say his favorite word again. It
’
s so fucking sexy to hear
him talk like this, and apparently he thinks the same of me.

             “Fuck me,” I repeat, and he slams his cock into me
harder and quicker than I ever imagined in my dreams, kissing me so roughly. It
’
s so much better than I thought possible even though we aren
’
t on a baseball diamond. A
moment later I’
m
at my peak, falling over the edge again. “Skyler…” I whisper his name for an
entire long breath as he finishes with me. I
’
m in the best
delirious state of mind. Even though he has a condom on, I can still tell he
’
s peaked by the way his muscles tighten, his jaw clenches, and
he closes his eyes for a half of a second as the sensation hits him. Then he
watches my eyes fall to where we
’
re connected and part of
him disappears between my legs. I grab his thigh and memorize what he looks
like on top of me before he finally pulls out.

            Before reaching for our clothes, he says, “Sorry for
the inside the park home run. Tomorrow can be a true home run.”

             “I
’
m still trying to locate my
mind, so can you explain that analogy?” I giggle.

             “First time is quick, like a sprint. It
’
ll gradually turn into a jog so it
’
ll last
longer,” he explains, then gives me a quick kiss before reaching for my panties
and shirt first. There
’
s totally a small tear in my
panties, but I kind of like it. After then slipping on his boxers, he throws me
my pants and continues dressing himself. Once fully clothed we stand up, and I
go to retrieve the jet-ski, but he stops me. His hand on my shoulder spins me
around to meet his heavenly gaze. He looks so much lighter, and I know whenever
he comes back to this high dive he
’
ll see us fucking, not
the accident. “I love you so fucking much, B,” he softly tells me.

             “This was like an inside the park home run at the
World Series. I love you, Sky,” I whimper in a way that I can
’
t
keep myself from hiding. I
’
m being such a girly girl, but
I don
’
t care. That was fucking amazing.

36 Skyler Swanson

I drive us back to the cabin on the jet-ski and drag it back into
the shed to keep it out of the water. As I
’
m about to walk
out of the shed and lock it up, Buzz stands in the entryway biting her lip to
keep from smiling too much. She has no idea how much watching her do that makes
me weak at the knees.

            I know what she wants. And I don
’
t
have another condom with me. I literally only brought that one that we just
used on the high dive dock.

             “Skyler,” she calls my name in the cutest way. It
totally gives her away, but she thinks she looks so innocent. I
’
ve
picked up on her new thing of saying my full name when she
’
s
trying to turn me on. I can count on one hand the amount of times she used my
full name up until we started dating; now I need both hands and soon I
’
ll lose count. But I wouldn
’
t trade that
look on her face for anything. She wants me. Again. Already. It
’
s
not like I don
’
t want her again already;
I
just won
’
t be careless with her.

            Walking over to her, I run my hand around her neck
and through her hair, watching her eyes study me. I fucking love the way she
’
s looking at me. Then she motions her eyes past me at the shed
hoping I
’
ll read her mind. I do. But I
’
m
going to have to deny her, which fucking sucks.

             “I only brought that one in my pocket, B,” I
disappointedly tell her.

             “Oh,” she states, her eyes falling between us.

             “
We got all weekend. We
’
ll come back,” I promise her. Why the hell not? If she wants to
fuck me in a shed, I
’
ll fucking let her. No questions. I
just need to be protected.

            When we begin walking up the stairs I notice that her
footsteps stop echoing mine behind me. I expect her to have run off or be
giving me a silly mocking look, but when I turn around I see her still at the
bottom of the stairs when I
’
m on the fourth one. Her hand
lightly rests on the railing as if she
’
s going to try
pulling herself up the stairs like that.

             “What are you doing?” I sarcastically snap at her.

            Guilt covers her face, and I immediately drop the
snarkiness. Her face looks paler than a minute ago, and she
’
s
out of breath. I walk down the four steps to meet her on level ground and wait
for her to speak. The expression on her face is so unusual; she
’
s
never remorseful or embarrassed.

             “Can you carry me?” she sulks. This isn
’
t a high maintenance I
’
m-too-good-to-walk
or I-just-want-you-to-hold-me request. She doesn
’
t have
the literal energy to make it up the stairs after just exerting herself on the
high dive dock with me. Good thing I don
’
t have another
condom. She would
’
ve passed out on me in the shed. I
’
m glad she asked me instead of pushing herself too far, but I
’
m still surprised at this first time occurrence.  

             “Of course, B,”
I answer. I
’
d carry her anywhere she wants to go. I turn around so she can
hop on my back and wrap her legs and arms around me in a piggyback.

            I feel her head droop over my shoulder, and I worry
she
’
s feeling nauseous already. But instead she brings her
lips to my ear and whispers, “Thank you.”

            It
’
s midnight by the time we get
back inside the cabin, so we start to get ready for bed. She drank some
Gatorade and the color instantly came back into her face, thankfully. I head
for my bedroom that I have always shared with Sam and Alex, but Buzz stands in
my doorway hugging the frame and shaking her head.

             “What?”
I question her.

             “As much fun as it looks to share a twin sized bed
with you, we have two queens that are totally empty,” she points out.

             “Yeah, and they
’re our parents’
beds,
” I remind her. Gross.

             “So?” she shrugs. She
’
s
seriously crazy. Only Buzz would see nothing wrong with sleeping in her parents
’
bed.

             “So they
’
ve fucked there how
many times?” I ask, purposely wanting to make her cringe. Except it doesn
’
t work.

             “Like I keep track of that. I
’
m
only keeping track of all the times we
’
re going to fuck,” she
teases. Damn. If I can fuck her at the scene of where her accident happened, I
can pretty much fuck her anywhere, even in her parents
’
bed.
There
’
s no denying this woman. Her eyes are way too convincing.

             “Fine, you win,” I concede. I walk towards her and
scoop her up in my arms, careful not to actually throw her over my shoulders
since it
’
ll probably make her sick. I carry her into her
parents
’
bedroom and lay her on the bed. I go back to
close the door and switch the lights off before curling up behind her and
kissing her neck.

            Having her in my arms completes the perfect night. I
let her fall asleep before I even close my eyes. All I want is for her to sleep
through the night and wake up in my arms. I hate myself for worrying about her;
I can
’
t fully enjoy just being in this moment even though
I know it will be my biggest regret in life.

             “Good night, B. I love you,” I mumble into her hair.

             “I love you,” she echoes, lacing her fingers with mine
on her thigh. We lay in silent perfection for a few minutes until her breath
grows heavy and her body releases all of her apprehension to fall asleep on me.
But then I hear her whisper, “Sky.”

             “Yeah, B?” I acknowledge that I hear her.

             “Relax. Go to sleep. I
’
m okay,
and I
’
ll wake you up if I
’
m not,” she
tells me. I really don
’
t know how she can read my mind,
but I
’
m torn between feeling guilty and grateful. As if it
will affirm her promise, she rolls over in my arms so she
’
s
now facing me and tangling her legs with mine. Her smile is so light and
cheerful as she moves so our noses are just barely touching, and I feel better,
more assured, that everything is okay. I
’
m a pretty
serious guy, but she allows me to finally relax.

            When the sun rises the next morning, it makes me
realize that I forgot to close the blinds before we went to bed. Fuck the sun.
It
’
s the weekend; I just want to sleep. But then it hits
me that I should appreciate that I get more time to spend awake with Buzz.

             “Good morning, sweetheart,” I whisper and press my
lips against her bare back and up to her neck before she flinches and takes a
deep breath. I totally woke her up. She
’
s like a cute
little dinosaur the way she screeches and stretches her arms and legs. And she
continues being adorable as she giggles and buries her head under the covers.
So obviously I go in after her. “What are you doing?” I laugh. She
’
s crawling on all fours with a smile on her face that takes me
back to when we were kids. She was always smiling about something back then.

             “Remember when we made that fort in your basement
where we raided the linen closet for sheets and blankets? Your mom was so mad
we destroyed that closet,” she
’
s clearly on the same
wavelength as me.  

             “Yes, I remember,” I chuckle at the memory. We
’
ve always gotten into trouble together, but it
’
s
more fun that way.

            Her spirit is unbelievably bright, so I take a risk
and reach to tickle her bare stomach, causing her to squirm away from me and
slither off the bed. I chase her around the master bedroom in just our
underwear as she heads for the connecting bathroom. She has a slight head
start, but I see her abruptly stop when she runs into her reflection in the
mirror. She looks extremely skinny compared to last softball season, and I know
it
’
s from not having an appetite and puking. She
’
s still gorgeous as all hell though. I carefully watch her,
trying to determine where this is going to go.

            A brief sadness overtakes her eyes, but she sees me
slowly approaching her from behind and stops. Her eyes falsely brighten as she
tries to shrug this off. I didn
’
t realize Buzz was putting
on a show hiding her true feelings towards her scar or her body. In the
mornings before school I never see her look in a mirror, so that should be my
first clue. But I always think it
’
s just Buzz being Buzz.

            In the wake of her I wrap my arms around her waist
and then lower my head to whisper in her ear, “You put the ‘b
’ in
beautiful.
”

             “Wow, you
’
re hilarious,” she
snaps, dropping her head to drastically avoid everything: my gaze, her
reflection, the light coming from outside. My supposed-to-be-compliment sends
her jumping off a cliff.

            My compliment may be the cheesiest fucking thing I
’
ve ever said in my life, but I want to see her smile again. We
were goofing around seconds ago. She needs to know her scar doesn
’
t
change anything. It doesn
’
t make her less pretty.

             “Do you fucking need a minute?” I ask her, stepping
away and releasing my arms from around her. She
’
s gotta do
this her way, whether that
’
s with me or without me is up
to her, but I can
’
t push her.

             “
No. I don’
t know, maybe,” she
rambles, completely unsure of herself. She slouches to cup her hands over her
face as she lets out a frustrated groan. Being whiney is not her forte.

             “It
’
s okay to be upset,” I tell
her. A silence appears in the house, and I
’
m a little
uncomfortable. I don
’
t know what I can fucking do for her,
if anything will make a difference. “Go back to bed, and I
’
ll
start a bath for you.”

             “Sky, you don
’
t have to do
that,” Buzz sighs. I can feel that she
’
s disgusted with
herself for letting it all bother her. Her eyes say that when they snap up to
look at me. Being babied will make her push me away, and I know that, but fuck,
I
’
m going to spoil my fucking girl.

             “I know. But we came up here to get away and take it
easy,” I shrug. And that
’
s exactly what I want her to do.

            Ten minutes later I have seven of Beth
’
s
candles lit in the ensuite bathroom and warm water and bubbles in the bathtub.
It finally comes in handy that Beth is high maintenance. When I approach the
bedroom, Buzz is lying on my side of the bed facing the direction of the
bathroom like she
’
s waiting for me to return.

             “You ready?”
I question her.

             “Sky, I
’
m sorry,” she whimpers,
sitting up and finally looking me in the eyes. Thankfully even ten minutes
alone in bed has made her mood brighter. I don
’
t know what
it is about her reflection that made her so angry, so I guess I
’
ll
have to pay more attention in the future.

             “It
’
s okay. We can talk in the
bathtub if you want,” I offer. I don
’
t want the water to
get cold and have to start all over. Beth will definitely notice if we have to
use more of her bath bomb thingies, and she
’
ll probably
flip shit over it.

             “You
’
re going to join me?” she
grins unexpectedly.
How is it possible that I can do that to her? Wow.
There
’
s nothing like watching her love me.

             “Unless you want me to leave you alone.” It
’
s her choice. I know she likes her alone time, and I won
’
t deny her from that luxury. But she silently shakes her head
as if to say,
Of course I don
’
t want you
to leave me.

            I scoop her into my arms as she holds onto my neck.
She opens her eyes once we enter the bathroom and she gasps. “This is so
cheesy,” she laughs. “I love it.”

            We strip out of our underwear and lay them on the
tile floor in a pile before I step into the tub and hold out my hand to help
her inside. God, I love seeing her naked, emotionally and physically. All those
years of silently crushing on her finally pays off. She is mine.

            The bathtub really isn
’
t made for
two lanky teenagers, but we make do by overlapping our legs along the sides
like we did that night two summers ago on the couch. I make sure to take the
side with the faucet hanging from it to prevent any incidents of Buzz smacking
her head on it.