From the Embers (The Born in Flames Trilogy) (12 page)

Chapter 10

Nymph’s Lagoon

I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I stood there in the rain, but eventually the shivering from the chill against my skin brought me out of myself. I hopped onto the bank, still staring at the spot where it had all happened.

I didn’t know what to think or feel. Guilt first and foremost for allowing Zane to kiss me when I had known what he was going to do, but I also felt betrayed. Fenn had set it all up, like some twisted test.

And I had failed.

I turned away and followed the sound of music and the distant fiery lights deep inside the woodland forest. I took my time, considering what I was going to say to Fenn and letting what happened with Zane really sink in.

Zane was in love with me.

I couldn’t return those feelings.

And now he was gone.

I wondered if I should have stopped him, but I knew it was probably for the best. I couldn’t lead him on, and I couldn’t expect him to stay for my own benefit.

Why did love have to suck so badly?

A rush of tunneled wind sounded over the trees, bringing my attention to the sky. Using my dragon sight, I saw my grandparents scanning the forest floor below, hunting. I had half a mind to shift and meet up with them. The rush of wind beneath my wings would not only be exhilarating but also soothing to my mind. It might even help me sort through the mess I had unintentionally created.

But then I felt Fenn. He was searching for me, sending out his senses to ensure I was okay. I didn’t send anything back to him but continued forward, nearing a rocky ledge that overlooked the Lagoon.

I stood behind a tree, using it to shield me from the Lagoon below, and carefully peered over the ledge, watching Fenn from afar. He was sitting next to Dagan and Naidia on the edge of a large rock, dangling his bare feet into the water.

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his glistening, body and easy smile. How could I not choose him? He was my perfect fit. My heart would always find him, no matter what.

As if he felt me watching, he looked up into the trees where I stood, his eyes squinting. He leaned over to Dagan and said something, and then ported next to me.

His hands were already wrapped around my neck, pulling me forcefully into a passionate kiss. A kiss that burned me to the core and melted away the hurt and anger I didn’t know what to do with.

He opened his mouth, deepening the kiss and my need to be with him. His perfectly soft lips glided over the outside of my mouth, teasing me for more.

I tugged on him, plunging my hand through his hair and twisting it, pulling his lips back to mine. He groaned against my mouth, sending pleasured chills along my skin.

His hands ran down the sides of my body and along my backside, squeezing through the fabric. I didn’t care where, but I had to be with him. I needed to feel his skin against mine. I needed to erase the guilt.

“You are so beautiful,” he breathed out, one hand around my waist and the other slowly sliding up the front of my corset. Sparks followed the path of his hands on my body, pushing me closer to the edge of desire.

The music from the Lagoon below softened into a romantic melody. Sounds of laughter and shouting carried up through the wind, disguising our pleasured moans.

“You are my most favorite thing,” Fenn continued in a thrilling, husky voice. A voice only I was meant to hear. “My favorite dream, desire, wish, hope…you are everything.” He whispered on the contour of my ear, running his lips along the outside and nibbling, and then slowly trailing down my neck.

“And what’s even better,” he said, pulling my left hand up to his mouth, sweetly kissing my ring finger, “is that soon you will be entirely mine.”

“I was entirely yours long before this ring,” I breathed out through hooded eyes.

I pressed my lips against his, knowing this was the only way I could express what I was feeling. I couldn’t put into words how much he meant to me. How much I really needed him.

We weren’t kids anymore. This wasn’t a game. He was my mate, and we were about to plunge head first into the unknown with only a prayer that we would come out on the other side unscathed. Every single solitary moment I had with Fenn needed to be the best possible moment I could make it.

Especially if I couldn’t find a way to destroy Zordon without having to destroy myself.

“Stop,” he said, resting a hand against my chest, right above my racing heart. He reached his other hand out and cupped the back of my head, tilting it up towards his face.

We locked eyes. “I can’t help it, Fenn. Everything, all of these emotions inside of me,” I said, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. “It’s overwhelming.”

I pressed my back against the tree, my eyes rolling up to the grim sky peeking through the trees. He leaned into me, resting his forearm just over my head.

We stayed like this for a moment, the night chill creeping in between the heat that was there only moments before. He played with a fallen curl, twirling it in his usual fashion as he quietly studied my face.

“You’re leaving something out,” he finally stated, his fingers still twirling. “This isn’t about Zordon.” He gave me the eye as he ran a thumb down the side of my cheek. I turned into his touch, closing my eyes. “It’s Zane, isn’t it?” There wasn’t any conviction in his voice, which somehow eased my way towards an explanation.

I sighed and then looked up at him. “He’s gone.”

Fenn looked away. “I told him. I tried to explain it to him.” His hand above my head balled into a fist.

I placed my hands on his chest and felt his quickened heartbeat. “I was pretty pissed that you allowed him to try that on me.”

Anger flashed in his eyes. “Try what?” he asked flatly.

“He said you sent him to walk me down to the Lagoon specifically to make a move on me.”

His face was now red with anger. “Make a move! What kind of a move? Why would I let him do that?”

I didn’t know what to say. My thoughts fumbled and stuttered, a sick feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. “It’s over. Whatever delusion was there is gone now.” I turned his face towards me, pulling his eyes back to mine.

His jaw clenched. “This is bad timing for drama and even worse timing for him to go and pull something so stupid.”

“I know. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have allowed him to kiss me.”

He froze at the word kiss. I could feel him backing away from me, slipping through my deceptive fingers. “No,” he said through clenched teeth. “You really shouldn’t have.”

Fear lanced up my stomach and straight through my heart. “Fenn I—”

“What? You’re sorry? Sorry for
allowing
him to kiss you?” He was out of reach now, his hands plunging through his hair. “Damnit, Rory! How could you? Why?” His fist clenched tight and hiked up into air. He sent it flying into a tree, punching a hole clean through.

My eyes burned. “I don’t know,” I said, my voice shaking uncontrollably. I didn’t want to lose him. Not like this. “If I could take it back—”

“You can’t,” he said coldly. He was breathing hard. “And neither can he.”

“Fenn, please.” I latched on to his arm. He stiffened under my touch, cracking my heart in two. “I know I can’t take it back. But you have to trust that I love you. Don’t let this ruin us.”

“How can I even look at you? How can I trust you?” His eyes remained on the ground.

I took a deep breath. “Because I chose you. I will always choose you. There is no excuse for what happened, but you have to understand, it’s over now. He knows where my heart lies.”

“It took a kiss for that to happen?” he said bitterly.

“Fenn—”

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any more about it. It’s his fault. He should’ve listened to me and left it alone. I didn’t tell him to try anything, let alone kiss you. Dagan asked to speak with me so I asked him to escort you. I didn’t want you going alone.”

My head fell as my heart twisted in my chest. No matter who said what, it had been my choice to allow the kiss. No one was to blame but me. And now Zane was gone, and everything was spiraling out of control. All because of me.

He pushed off the tree and stood back. “Do you know where he went?”

I shook my head.

He stopped as if something had dawned on him. “Did you…did you kiss him back?” His chest stopped moving as he waited. I thought he didn’t want to know.

I bit my lip as I felt a fresh sting of guilty tears in my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t say the words.

He let out a pained breath and took a step back, walking in a small circle as his hands tugged at his hair. “But you don’t have feelings for him?”

“I know what I have for you is stronger,” was all I could manage, the lump in my throat choking me.

He stopped pacing. The pain on his face made me sick to my stomach. “I don’t…I can’t…” He sighed heavily, his tone falling flat. He stared at nothing for a long while, and then said, “We need to get down there. Wine and dine them to ensure they’ll show up tomorrow.” He was doing what he always did best, avoiding the ugly. He grabbed my hand and opened a port.

I wanted to stop him, to fix this, but I had nothing left to give. I was guilt stricken and too angry with myself to speak, so I took his hand instead, and followed him through.

AFTER A BRIEF ATTEMPT AT talking about tomorrow with Dagan, I soon realized his interests only lied in spending the night partying. They called it a customary ritual, but it was really just a party.

Nymphs poured in throughout the forest, filling the enchanted waters with laughter and splashing. A few sat on the edge of the water, beating drums and playing reed pipes. They tried to get me to jump in, but I knew better. The waters were dangerous. That in turn made me think of Zane. I bit my lip, looking away from them all.

Fenn noticed my discomfort and made a quick excuse that I didn’t know how to swim.

“You can fly but you can’t swim? You live on an island,” Dagan pointed out, sloshing back another hearty swig of wine. He tilted the cup in my direction, but I shook my head.

“Strange, right?” I said sarcastically. I didn’t meet Fenn’s eyes. I couldn’t, not yet at least.

“Aurora,” Lexi craftily called, “can you come here, please?”

“Could you excuse me?” I asked Dagan. He nodded and waved me off, his eyes busy wandering over the many beautiful women splashing around in the Lagoon.

I smiled in appreciation when I made it over to Lexi near the base of a rocky ledge. “Thank you,” I rushed out, “I was so—”

“I didn’t do that just for you,” she said, cutting me off. My mouth clenched shut. The ice princess had returned, and just when I needed her more than ever. She used her chin to signal Fenn over too. He made a face and then excused himself.

“What’s up?” he asked her, his hand finding its way to the small of my back. I wasn’t sure if he did that on purpose or out of habit, but either way, I was glad for it and even more glad that he didn’t remove his hand when he realized what he was doing.

“Have you seen Zane?” she asked us both, looking only mildly worried. “‘Cause I can’t find him anywhere.”

I swallowed down the nausea threatening to spill. “He left,” I answered in a low voice, avoiding her eyes. I could feel her weighted stare, waiting for me to cough up more information than that.

Fenn’s hand left the hallow of my back, taking along all the warmth inside of me. “He kissed her.” His bitter words sounded almost feral. He was chewing on his lip when I peered back at him over my shoulder.

Lexi’s face lifted in shock. “Well,” she said, her disapproving gaze landing on me. “I must say, I’m not as shocked as I thought I would be. It was bound to happen.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Fenn said, his jaw clenched.

“No, but if you’re being fair, Fenn, we are on an island that promotes brazenness. It was fueling the flame.”

“And I squashed that flame,” I said, not able to look at either of them, “and I’d also rather not talk about it anymore. It was a mistake, one that I am barely dealing with myself, and one that I would like to keep between Fenn, Zane, and myself.”

My eyes flicked up to hers. I prepared myself for hatred or something worse, but found sympathy and understanding. I found my friend again. 

The laughter and music behind us grew louder. Lexi straightened her posture, clasping her hands in front of her. “Right, well, I called you both over here because of Fenn’s summoning. What did Dagan have to say, dear brother?”

He grabbed us both, moving us away from anyone who could possibly hear us. When we found seclusion behind the edge of the forest, he leaned in and whispered, “He called on me shortly after we split apart. I thought he might want to get a plan together for tomorrow, but he that wasn’t the case. He just wanted to ask about Kaede and how he ran things. His questions were odd.”