‘I thought you’d never shake off that Oompa-Loompa.’
God, this guy was intense. Even though he was no longer holding her hand, she felt super-glued to the spot. She’d never noticed how sexy Darth Vader was before. Was she imagining the heat between them? She’d swear he was smouldering at her under that mask. She peered into his eyes, wondering if he was someone she knew.
‘I have to get out of here,’ she said, but she didn’t move.
‘I know,’ he said, grabbing her hand again. ‘Come on.’
She didn’t resist as he pulled her towards the door, the crowd parting easily to let them through. But when he made for the staircase, she dug her heels in. ‘No, I want to leave,’ she said, pointing to the door.
‘We can’t leave,’ he said. ‘David will see us.’
Before she had a chance to protest that it was a party and David was hardly going to hold them hostage against their will, he had turned and was striding up the stairs two at a time, pulling her along behind him. She needed all her concentration to keep up without tripping. She had drunk too much champagne and eaten too few canapés. It didn’t help that all she could think about was sex. There was something so urgent about his whole demeanour that made her think this
was leading to one thing. And for some reason she was fine with that – as long as she didn’t think about it too much …
When they got to the top of the stairs, he started opening doors off the landing, seemingly at random. The first three were occupied by writhing, panting couples, but the fourth was empty and he pulled her in, flicking on the light and closing the door swiftly behind them.
‘Shit, there’s no key,’ he said, his fingers tracing over the lock. ‘Do you know where there’s a key?’
She shook her head. How would she know where there was a key?
He pulled off his gloves and tossed them on the floor. ‘We’ll just have to be quick – and block the door,’ he said, turning her around and pushing her against the door. She heard movement behind her and something fell to the floor with a thud. Then his hands were on her waist, pulling her closer to him, and she felt the wet warmth of his lips on her neck, and knew he had removed his helmet. If she turned around now, she would see him, but she didn’t want to. He might be really old or repulsive, and she didn’t want to know, because she really wanted this to happen. Though he didn’t sound old …
‘This means I won’t be able to go down on you,’ he whispered as he nibbled her ear, ‘and I wanted to do all your favourite things.’
The words barely penetrated her fuzzy brain as he started palming her breasts. How would he know what her favourite things were? But when she opened her mouth to say something, all that came out was a squeak as he pinched her nipples. Her breath caught in her throat as he bent to grab the hem of her dress, hiking it up slowly until it was around her waist. He obviously wasn’t going to waste much time with the preliminaries, and she didn’t care. At least David’s idea of the masks acting as an icebreaker was working – though she doubted this was quite what he had in mind.
‘Red, very
appropriate,’ he said, chuckling softly when he saw her knickers, which she had bought specially to go with her costume. Then he was sucking on her neck again while his fingers plunged inside her knickers, his other arm clamped around her waist pulling her back into his body as he began to stroke her.
God, it had been too long since a man had touched her, and she felt herself melt around his fingers. She should have made more of an effort to find a boyfriend after she broke up with Gary. Maybe then she would have been able to resist letting a masked stranger feel her up at a party.
‘This is new,’ he said, his breath hot in her ear as his fingers brushed lightly over her pubic hair. ‘Does David like it like this? Or do you think you’ll need it to keep you warm in Canada?’
‘Wh— what?’ She gulped. Oh, God, he thought she was— ‘I don’t … I mean, I’m not—’
‘Hey, I like it,’ he said soothingly, slipping a finger inside her. ‘It’s sexy.’
‘Oh, my God!’ she gasped. ‘You’re – you’re having an affair with David’s wife!’
His fingers withdrew instantly and she felt the loss of his body heat as he jerked away from her, leaving her twitching with need. Resting her forehead against the door, she gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, and resisted the urge to bang her fists on the wood in frustration. Just a couple more seconds and she’d have—
‘Jesus! You’re not … you’re not Katie?’ he stammered breathlessly behind her.
‘No.’
‘Oh my God! Fuck! Oh my God!’
‘Um … maybe you should put your helmet back on,’ she said, without turning around.
‘Oh! Yeah … fuck!’ She heard shuffling behind her, and
then slowly turned around to find him stumbling around the room clutching his head, wailing ‘Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!’ and bumping into furniture. She couldn’t help smiling to herself at how comical he looked – Darth Vader having a panic attack.
‘Hey, don’t freak out.’ He stilled at the sound of her voice. ‘I haven’t seen your face. I don’t know who you are, remember? Just … keep your helmet on.’ And your hair, she thought.
‘But I said – and I put my – oh, Jesus! I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you sit down?’ She waved at the bed. He nodded and did as she suggested, sinking down onto the counterpane. She sat down beside him, putting a tentative hand on his shoulder. He was still hyperventilating. ‘Maybe you should put your head between your knees.’
Damn, why had she said anything? If she’d just kept her mouth shut, maybe he’d have put his head between her knees.
‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe that I – you won’t tell David, will you?’
‘No, I won’t. Besides, what would I tell him? I don’t even know who you are.’
‘You could find out.’
‘I won’t even try, I promise.’
‘Well, you could still tell him Katie’s having an affair.’
‘I won’t. I’m not even friends with David really.’
‘Thank you.’ His body relaxed a little and his breathing calmed.
‘So … that’s why you were staring at me – because you thought I was Katie. And why you …’ she trailed off, nodding to the door.
‘Um … yeah. I’m so sorry about that. I don’t usually go around attacking women I don’t even know.’
‘You only attack the ones you do know? You’re a real prince.’
He laughed. ‘Actually I’m a lord – a dark lord.’
‘Anyway, you
thought I was someone else. It was an honest mistake.’ She was painfully aware that she had no such excuse. Thankfully, he seemed to be too wrapped up in his own mortification and remorse for it to occur to him that she had been perfectly willing to let a total stranger fuck her up against a door.
‘Thanks for being so nice about it. And for not telling David. Or, you know, calling the cops on me.’
‘Well, I wasn’t exactly fighting you off.’ She was grateful for the mask to hide her blushes, but it wasn’t fair to let him go on beating himself up about it when she had been a willing participant. Besides, he had put his fingers inside her. If he thought about it for a second, he’d realise how up for it she had been. ‘No harm done,’ she said brightly. Except for giving me a hell of an itch that you’re now not going to scratch.
‘It’s all David’s fault really for insisting on these stupid masks.’
‘Yeah,’ she said, laughing. ‘Let’s blame David. So, what made you think I was Katie?’
‘She told me she was going to be dressed as Little Red Riding Hood,’ he said. ‘Great costume, by the way.’
‘Thanks. I made it myself.’
‘You made it? Wow! Well, I saw you dressed like that, and you’re about the same height and build as Katie. Though her hair is a little shorter, I guess, now that I see you up close …’
‘And non-existent in places, obviously,’ Romy said. ‘But, of course, you couldn’t tell that from across the room and through my clothes.’
‘Oh, Jesus,’ he groaned, clutching his head in his hands. ‘I’m so sorry about that. And about commenting on … you know …’
‘That’s okay,’ she said, finding his discomfiture amusing. ‘At least you were complimentary about it.’
‘Yeah, phew! Because
otherwise, you know, this could have been really embarrassing!’
Romy laughed.
‘God, you must have thought I was a total weirdo – staring at you all night, and then dragging you up here and pawing you like that.’
‘How long have you two been …’
‘A couple of years, I suppose,’ he said, shrugging, ‘off and on. It’s just casual, nothing serious. I’m not here much, but whenever I’m in Dublin we … get together.’
‘Right.’
‘David’s a tosser, you know,’ he said defensively.
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘I do know.’
‘Anyway, it’s over now. They’re going to Canada soon.’
‘So tonight was to be your last hurrah?’
‘Yeah, something like that.’
‘Sorry I messed that up for you.’
‘That’s okay. I wasn’t going to come here tonight, to be honest. I didn’t really want to do it in their house, right under her husband’s nose. It seemed too … disrespectful.’
‘Unlike doing it behind his back?’
He laughed. ‘Yeah, you got me.’
‘Sorry, I don’t mean to be judgemental.’
‘No, you’re right. Anyway, Katie got really upset when I said I wasn’t going to come, so at the last minute I decided, what the hell, I’d surprise her.’
‘Well, maybe you should go and find her now. It sounds like you had quite a treat planned.’
‘No, the moment has passed. I think I’ve had enough excitement for one night. Besides, what if I got it wrong again? My next victim might not be so understanding.’
‘Well,’ she said, getting up off the bed and smoothing down her skirt, ‘I suppose I should go.’
‘Yeah, you
probably want to get back to the party.’
‘Not really. I was leaving, actually, when you – when I bumped into you.’ She didn’t want to go back to the party, but she didn’t want to leave either and go home alone to her flat. She was quite happy here with this very tall, very dark stranger.
‘Why don’t you stay here and talk to me, then?’ he said.
‘I shouldn’t,’ she said automatically.
‘What’s the matter? Afraid I’ll eat you all up?’
‘Hey, I may be Red Riding Hood, but you’re no wolf.’
‘Maybe I am. How do you know what I am under this costume?’
‘A wolf in Darth Vader clothing? I don’t think so.’
‘Then stay,’ he said, taking her hand and pulling her back down on the bed beside him.
‘What could we talk about? You can’t say anything that would give me a clue about who you are.’
‘Right. So nothing about jobs – or where we live.’
‘Or anything about our families or where we went to school. Or how we know David.’
‘Doesn’t leave much, does it?’ he said.
‘Only the big stuff.’
He was silent for a while. ‘So,’ he said eventually, ‘um … do you believe in God?’
‘No. Do you?’
‘No … I don’t think so. I mean, sometimes when there’s something I really, really want to happen I think, Please God. Does that count?’
‘Hmm, I don’t think so. Maybe you’re undecided – like a floating voter. Do you think this stuff is going to happen because you think, Please God?’
‘Not really, no. I guess that means I don’t believe in Him, doesn’t it?’
‘You know, it could be a Her.’
He laughed. ‘You
mean, this being you don’t believe exists could be female?’
‘Yes. Just because I don’t believe in God, that’s no excuse for sexism.’
‘Right, sorry.’ He put his hands up contritely. ‘I guess I don’t believe in God really, but sometimes … I kind of wish I did, you know?’
‘Yeah, I know what you mean. It must be nice to think everything makes sense. And the idea that there’s someone watching over you all the time. It’s kind of comforting.’
‘Yeah.’
‘So, what religion would you like to be true, if you could pick one?’
‘Um … I don’t know. Definitely not Catholicism – heaven and hell and purgatory and all that.’
‘Ugh, no. I’d like one that had reincarnation. But only if I could come back as someone much cooler. I wouldn’t want to come back as a snail or something.’