Authors: Kirsty Moseley
“Honourable?” he offered, looking up at me then.
I shook my head. “No, not honourable,” I disagreed.
“Freaking stupid!” I finished, frowning at him.
His mouth popped open in shock, his hand stilled on my leg.
“Stupid? How is that stupid?”
I made a scoffing noise and waved my hand at him in example.
“Look at you,” I cried.
He rolled his eyes. “Because of the way I look I should date
people? I’m depriving the girls of my six pack, is that what you’re getting
at?” he asked angrily.
“It has nothing to do with what you look like. It’s how you
behave. Look at yourself right now, Zach,” I instructed, shaking my head and
pointing at my ankle. “You’ve been taking care of me for the last ten minutes.
You’re worried about me. You’re kind, thoughtful and generous. You’re funny,
smart, loyal and considerate. Surely you can see what a special person you are.
Why do you have such a negative image of yourself?” I asked. As I spoke his expression
was turning more and more bewildered, as if he’d never had anyone see good in
him before.
“I’ve seen what it does to someone when episodes of ADHD
start. You think I’m all great now, but that’s because I’m on the tablets. What
happens if one day I start acting like him and think I don’t need them? What if
I fall back in with that bad crowd? What if I turn out to be exactly like him?”
he countered, shaking his head angrily.
“But what if you don’t?” I argued.
He didn’t have any words for that. His mouth opened and then
snapped shut again as his eyes locked onto mine. There was a fierce intensity
there. I had a feeling that no one had ever challenged his idea of the disease
before.
I carried on challenging his ideals. “What if you continue
to work hard on your parkour and become an awesome traceur that kids look up to
and have posters of on their walls? What if you never stop taking your tablets
and never stop being this kind person that you always are to me? Some girl
would fall madly in love with you and you could make her happy for the rest of
her life. You don’t deserve to shut yourself off from things, Zach. You deserve
to be happy too. Just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean that you can’t live
your life and be happy. And some girl deserves to have you treat her like a
princess every day, just like you always do me. So get over it and this
negative image you have of yourself.”
He swallowed loudly, looking away from me as his fingers
started the pattern again on my leg. “I don’t treat you like a princess,” he
muttered after a minute of awkward silence. His words were barely discernible,
but I made them out somehow.
“All girls wish for a guy that is interested in what they
have to say, that thinks they’re funny and appreciates the small things that
they do. They want a guy to give them their jacket because it’s cold, and
someone that looks out for them and worries about their safety. That’s what I
class being treated like a princess. Girls like that stuff. You don’t do that
for me?” I asked, wrapping the string of his hoodie around my finger and
raising one eyebrow challengingly.
He frowned, digesting my words. Finally, he spoke, and a
small smirk slipped onto his face. “I’m only interested in what you have to say
because you’re helping me graduate.”
I smiled knowingly. He was a nice guy; he just wasn’t ready
to admit it yet. I turned my head, looking out of the window of the café.
“Whatever you say, Zachary.”
From the corner of my eye I saw him watching me. A smile
played at the edge of his mouth. We were silent then for a few minutes, and
then a car skidded to a halt outside the café, two doors slammed and I closed
my eyes, knowing I was about to get it in the neck from both of the Preston
men. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the long, sleepless night ahead.
To say that I was in trouble for stopping at the video store
would be an understatement. I not only got it in the neck from my dad and
brother, but also from Luke. By the time I’d gotten home from the café that I
went to with Zach, my ears were hurting probably more than my ankle form the
verbal bashing my dad gave me all the way home.
We’d called the police again and done a report over the
phone. They’d told me not to delete the messages and that they’d lift them off
of my phone the following day. I’d assured my dad that my ankle was fine and
that all I needed was rest. Zach had backed me up on that front, telling my dad
that it was a sprain and that I should just take it easy and keep an eye on it
to make the swelling didn’t get worse.
I had barely slept that night. Once I was alone in my
bedroom, my mind wandered to the fact that someone had followed me from my
house and to the rental store. They must have been camped outside my house
somewhere, hidden in the shadows, watching and waiting. When my dad had gone to
bed that night, an eerie silence crept over the house which made my stomach
ache. With the house so quiet it seemed to magnify the sounds of everything
else outside. The trees rustling in the wind, a cat meowing, a car driving up
the street, all of it was somehow now frightening as I imagined the guy out
there in the street, watching the house and just waiting for me to leave on my
own again. That wouldn’t be happening though. Not only had my dad strictly
forbidden me to be so stupid again, I actually didn’t want to go out alone
again.
I hadn’t been able to get myself warm for hours, no matter
how many sheets and blankets I piled up on top of myself. Loneliness and fear
had kept me awake until the early hours of the morning. I longed for Luke. I
longed for his arms and his smell and his warmth. By the time morning came
around I gave up trying to put on a brave face and just called him, asking him
if he’d come over and hang out for a few hours.
Once he’d finished giving me the lecture about how silly it
was that I’d gone out on my own when anything could have happened, Luke and I
spent all day up in my room watching the movies that he’d brought around with
him. It was nice, and just like the old Saturdays before we’d broken up. A
couple of times I’d even completely forgotten that we’d broken up and cuddled
up against him, enjoying his comfort and the safety that he emitted.
He came over again on Sunday, but that wasn’t as easy as the
day before, because Zach turned up unannounced while he was there. He’d come to
see how I was and if I needed anything. Luke had sat there with a scowl on his
face, obviously biting his tongue so he didn’t say anything about it. I
appreciated that he was working hard on not being jealous, though I could still
see it in his posture for the ten minutes that Zach had sat on the edge of my
bed for. It was kind of a relief when he left if I was honest.
By the time Monday came around my ankle was a lot better and
I could walk on it for a short time before it started to ache again. Luke
begged me to let him pick me up for school, and since I’d leant on him all
weekend I couldn’t really refuse. It was so weird seeing his little sports car
parked in my driveway when he came to collect me.
I frowned at it distastefully. The last time I’d been in
that car was when I was speeding it away from Ricky’s party after I’d caught
Luke cheating. Luke seemed to be driving his Jeep more lately. In a way I kind
of wished he’d brought the other one today, I didn’t really need more to deal
with on top of the memories of him with someone else.
“Morning, baby,” he chirped, jogging up to meet me as I
hobbled up the path.
“Hey,” I greeted, handing him my bag because I knew he’d
take it off my shoulder anyway. He smiled, looping his arm around my waist and
helping me to the passenger side of the car.
“I brought this one so you don’t have to stretch to climb
in. I know you were a lot better yesterday but figured every little helps,” he
explained, opening the door for me and looking down at my ankle worriedly.
Oh. Well then I guess I can’t exactly complain if he’s
actually put thought into bringing this car for me! That’s sweet.
“Thanks,
Luke.” I slid in, swinging my legs and smiling gratefully. I secured my
seatbelt while he headed around to the driver’s side.
“So, how’d you sleep in the end?” he asked as he started the
engine.
I smiled tiredly. I hadn’t slept well again last night, as
he well knew because I’d called him up at midnight and asked him to talk to me
a little until I fell asleep. Of course he’d offered to come over and keep me
company, but I’d been strong and refused. Instead, I’d listened to him reading
Jules Verne down the phone to me for an hour before my eyelids had started
getting heavy.
“Fine,” I lied. I couldn’t tell him the truth that my dreams
last night had been filled with faceless people chasing me with a bloodied
knife while I ran and ran but never seemed to get anywhere. “Thank you for last
night.”
He reached out, tugging on the end of my ponytail playfully.
“Anytime.”
By the time we got to school, Charlotte and Beth were waiting
for me in the parking lot and skipped over to the car, wrenching open the car
door before Luke even got the parking brake on. “Are you okay?” Beth asked
worriedly.
I nodded in confirmation. I’d spoken to them both over the
weekend and explained everything. Charlotte already knew that something had
happened because my brother had called her Friday night and told her that I
wasn’t going to make it to hers. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, swinging my legs
out of the car and gripping the door frame, awkwardly pulling myself up to
standing.
Charlotte gripped my elbow, steadying me as I wobbled a
little. “What did the police say about it? Did they do anything? Arrest anyone?
Was there CCTV on the street? You said the guy said he could see you, well if
he could then maybe he was caught on CCTV or something,” she suggested, raising
one eyebrow hopefully.
I shrugged. “They were going to look into it. To be honest,
Char, they don’t tell me much about it. I hate not knowing, I just wish they
had some idea of who’s doing it.”
I looked around the parking lot as I closed the car door.
Last time I came here in the morning, the parking lot was full of grieving
students, now the place was just as normal. You wouldn’t think that anything
untoward had happened at all judging by the people standing around chatting
about their weekends and exchanging stories. It was like Sandy hadn’t even
existed. The cheerleaders were all sitting around, giggling and flirting with
the football team, applying make-up and fluffing their hair. As I stood there I
had a strong feeling of being out of place because nothing was normal in my
life at the moment, and I wasn’t sure it ever would be again.
Charlotte looped her arm through mine, waving her hand
dismissively at Luke who stepped to my side to help me. “I’ve got her now,” she
stated smugly. It was very apparent that Charlotte still hadn’t forgiven Luke
for his indiscretion. Luke frowned but nodded, falling into step behind us. I
smiled at him apologetically and got a beautiful smile in return which made my
heart pick up double time.
“What about the phone that you keep getting the calls and
texts from, can’t they trace that?” Charlotte asked, her voice showing her
frustration.
I shook my head, wincing as we started to make our way
slowly up the steps at the front of the school. “Don’t think so. DI Neeson said
that the phone isn’t on contract and is always turned off. Don’t think they can
do much with it,” I admitted. She pursed her lips as her eyes flashed with
something that made me a little nervous. She only ever got that glint when she
was up to no good, or planning to be up to no good at least. “What are you
looking like that for? What are you scheming?” I asked, cringing.
She raised one eyebrow, faking innocence. “Me? Absolutely
nothing. I definitely wasn’t thinking that I could hack into your phone company
and find the number of the person that’s been calling you,” she said, shaking
her head but grinning at the same time.
I groaned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I protested
weakly.
She pulled me to a stop, looking at me intently as she leant
in conspiratorially. “I could get the number, and you could have Alex or Luke
send it a butt load of angry messages and stuff telling them to leave you alone
or else,” she countered.
I shook my head forcefully. “Just let the police handle it.
Don’t get involved. You could end up causing more trouble or something,” I
warned. “If this is the same person that killed Sandy then I don’t want Alex or
Luke getting themselves involved with anything. It could make matters worse.
Just let the police do their jobs,” I said the words firmly, looking her right
in the eyes so she knew I was serious.
She sighed dejectedly, letting her shoulders slump. “Fine.
I’ll stay out of it,” she grumbled.
I smiled gratefully, giving her arm a little squeeze. “Thank
you for the offer though.”
Her face brightened, some of the defeated expression
disappeared. “I’m always available if you change your mind.”
When the bell sounded overhead they both disappeared off to
their respective classes, leaving me with Luke who walked me to my first period
and kissed my forehead gently at the door. “I’ll see you at lunch?” he
questioned. I nodded in agreement. “Call me if you need me.”
“I will. Thanks.” That statement was true. Luke always
seemed to be the first one I called on for help and the first one that sprang
to mind when I needed a shoulder to lean on. As he jogged off up the hallway, I
turned and limped to my desk, plopping down and pulling out my books that I’d
need.
A chair scraped beside me so I looked up to see a girl from
my class sitting herself down next to me. She smiled at me happily as she
dropped her bag onto the desk. I tried not to react to the fact that this girl
had never once sat next to me or attempted to talk to me before today. She was
one of the mid-popular girls from our year, but she was well known for being
the gossip queen. She even wrote a gossip type column in our school paper.