Fraying at the Edge (15 page)

“Just because she's not fighting you, that doesn't mean you're being gentle. You insisted she remove her prayer Kapp. That's no big deal to you, but to her, God told women to wear a head covering. That makes it a big deal. Removing it feels like a violation. Would you condone violating a non-Amish woman over her choices, Nicholas?”

“Okay.” Nicholas rubbed the back of his neck. “Apparently I've missed being gentle by a lot. But there's so much she needs to know before the year is up.”

“Your goal should be to get to know her, to embrace who she is—not to mold her into who you think she needs to be.”

“You think I'm being intolerant? Religion is intolerant—”

“We aren't talking about religion. We're talking about your daughter. It's obvious you think religion is evil. But you can't set anything right by force-feeding Ariana books written by atheists or threatening to sue the faithful people she loves unless she goes against her conscience and accomplishes certain goals. She's not a cause or an issue you can do battle with to win a Supreme Court decision. She's your daughter, and you get one year to be with her…maybe.”

Nicholas's brows furrowed, and Quill knew he'd made some headway.

He drew a deep breath. “Good night.” Quill exited and got into Dan's truck, hoping Nicholas would start cutting Ariana some slack.

If something between Nicholas and Ariana didn't give soon, Quill feared what would happen to her.

S
kylar looked back over her shoulder as she hurried along the road toward the community phone. She hoped no one heard her slip out of the house right before midnight. When she'd done the same thing four nights ago, no one was the wiser. But she hadn't expected to need a repeat performance this soon.

Cody had met her near the Brenneman house at two a.m. on Tuesday and had given her a good stash. But now it was missing. If she called him, surely he'd find a way to get more to her. She opened the weather-beaten door to the phone shanty and stumbled inside. While searching for a light switch, she cursed. When would she stop trying to turn on the lights?

She ran her fingers across the makeshift desk until she felt the now-familiar shape of a box of kitchen matches. She struck one and searched for a candle or kerosene lamp. There was a lantern near the old push-button phone. She lit it and pressed the buttons, calling Cody.

“What.” He sounded as if he'd been asleep.

“Hey, it's me.”

She heard shifting.

“What's up, Skylar?” He seemed both annoyed and glad to hear from her.

“The pills are missing.”

He cursed. “Missing?” He still sounded groggy. “All those uppers and downers are missing? Do you know what it took to get those? Were they stolen?”

“No, I had them in my jeans pocket, and the bottle must've fallen out.”

“Bad move, Skylar, and I feel for you, babe. But I'm fresh out and can't get any more for a day or so, and if I had them, I couldn't make another late-night run out there on short notice. You're in the boondocks, and I work for a living. Are you sure you can't find what I brought you last Tuesday?”

“I've looked. The cows got out, and after the stampede was over, we were on foot for hours, covering miles while corralling them back into the pasture.”

“You, on foot, herding cattle? I'd have paid good money to see that.” Cody laughed.

“I'd pay good money not to be here…if I had any money. Look, I'm really sorry. I know you're covering all the costs right now, but you can't possibly hate more than I do how inconvenient the missing bottle is.”

“It's okay. Chill already. I can handle the money part.”

“When can you get me out of here?”

“In a few weeks, I think. I'm working on a deal, a big one. When that happens, I'll have some cash. And the first thing on my list is getting you, okay?”

His words brought hope, and she was grateful. “Okay, thanks, Cody.”

“I can't leave my best girl stuck in Amish country, can I?”

She cursed. “I hope not. I'd die. When can you bring me more pills and cigarettes?”

“Any way you can meet me during the day? I'm wiped at night, babe—working on the deal and holding down a job.”

“We'd be seen during the day.”

“What can they do to you—take away your social life, your cell, your allowance? They've already done all that.”

“If they call my dad, he'll follow through on his threat to come after you for distribution and put your butt in jail for as long as possible.”

“Oh yeah.” From the slurred speech and breathing pattern, she assumed Cody had started to smoke a cigarette. “I didn't think of that. I guess he has the means to target me and keep you out of it. So let's play it safe. Maybe there is a place we could meet during the day. What if you worked at that café you told me about?”

“I'm not helping keep someone else's dream alive.”

“Then sabotage their efforts. Have it in ruins by the time you two switch places. Since no one there has a clue what I look like, if you're at the café on Tuesday, I'll bring you another stash.”

“Tuesday? It just turned Sunday like fifteen minutes ago. How am I supposed to wait until Tuesday?”

“Raid the medicine cabinets, Skylar. You said there are family members with homes of their own. Visit them. See what you can find. Someone has to have something. What about the midwife? Would she have something at the clinic? Is there an Amish doctor who might have some goods at his office and not have them locked up like they are in other places?”

“Yeah, I hadn't thought about any of that.”

“That's because you don't think like a junkie, and you should.”

The word
junkie
sounded so wrong. She wasn't one. Not even close. “Everything in my life is upside down, and I need some uppers and downers to get by.”

“If you say so, babe. Funny how those drugs were in your system before any of this started.”

If she weren't desperate for drugs, she'd tell him off and hang up.

Why did guys always ruin everything for her? She wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for that other guy. Quill Schlabach. Oh, how she wished she'd never spoken to him, never told him her birth date, never learned she'd been switched at birth. Her old life wasn't the best, but it was better than this. “I'll be at the café on Tuesday. It's open from seven to two. Please don't get there after hours.”

“Yeah, okay, Skylar.”

“Bring Xanax and Ritalin this time, not Valium and Bontril.” Valium and Bontril just didn't do the trick. They were older drugs, and her reaction to them wasn't the same from day to day. What might knock her out one day barely calmed her the next.

Xanax helped her chill, just the right amount of chill. And since she wasn't hyperactive, Ritalin gave her mounds of energy, and in the right dose it made for some really interesting hallucinations. Nothing too bizarre. If the television was on, it was as if the characters left the box and became holograms in the room with her—stretching oddly like Picasso paintings. She liked the feeling, and despite what the law said, what she took was nobody's business but hers.

Abram sat on the steps of the back porch, waiting. Tonight was the second time Skylar had sneaked out. He had some concerns she might not return, but if she did, he didn't know what to say to her. Accusations wouldn't help.

He wished he were capable of talking to people like Ariana was. She could quickly get to the heart of complicated matters. He needed to form some sort of bond with Skylar, but it'd been hard even to look at her, let alone talk to her. She was a constant reminder that Ariana wasn't his biological sister.

Across the backyard near the fence line to the pasture, he saw a shadow moving briskly. Despite the stiff movements that made Skylar look angrier than usual, he remained on the steps, trying to be calm. She stopped in front of him and lifted her eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing.” He had to come up with something better than that if he expected a conversation.

“Good.” She climbed a couple of steps and tried to go around him.

He didn't budge. “Wait.”

She stepped back down. “Can I help you?”

A rush of embarrassment spread over Abram's face as he tried to gather his thoughts. “This is the second night you've left the house.”

She put a hand on her hip, staring at him. “Are you spying on me?”

“What? No. I just noticed, that's all.”

“You noticed, but you aren't spying.” She sounded condescending, and it made him miss Ariana even more. Of all his sisters she was the nicest.

Abram steadied his nerves. “I just wanted to make sure everything was all right.”

“So that's why you're waiting here?”

“Could you stop answering everything with a question? You aren't defending yourself to Mamm and Daed, and I'm not accusing you of anything.” Abram was surprised at his tone. He sounded assertive, but Skylar seemed to relax.

She propped a foot on a stair. “Maybe not tonight, but you'll tell them.”

“I know you aren't accustomed to this whole brother-sister thing. Trust me, I won't tell anyone.”

She laughed as if Abram had said something funny. “You think we're brother and sister?”

It felt weird, but he said, “Yes.”

“I'm not interested in being anyone's sister.”

He did his best not to flinch, but it hurt. He wasn't all that interested in being her brother, but they were twins nonetheless. “That's fine. I just don't want you to walk out one evening and never come back.”

“I'm not a child. I'm twenty, and I can do what I want.”

Abram nodded. “I know your age. We were born minutes apart, remember? And, ya, you can do what you want. But if you do, then Ariana's leaving will be meaningless.”

“Everyone around here seems keen on making Ariana happy.”

Was she envious? Maybe her behavior had more to do with feeling insecure than just being irritable. “Leaving was really hard on her, just like being here has been hard on you. We care about her and you both.”

“You care about her and just threw me into the mix to be nice.”

“Being nice because someone is related is part of what it means to be family. Another part is trying to be supportive and honest.” He scooted over in case Skylar wanted to sit. “I start full time at the café on Monday.” Why had he told her that? She didn't care. But he'd turned in his notice Thursday morning and told them he'd finish out the week. Susie and Martha couldn't keep things going at the café while he worked out a two-week notice. Every customer who left dissatisfied was one more person who wouldn't return and one more person to spread the word that the café wasn't worth going to. Besides, there were plenty of skilled Amish men waiting to take Abram's place.

Skylar pulled her cigarettes from a pocket. She paused, looking at Abram. “You sure about confidentiality between siblings?”

He smiled. “Between us, I'm sure. You smoke in front of Martha or John, and they'll tattle before you get it to your lips.”

“Good to know.” She lit a cigarette and breathed in heavily. “You showed me how to pour coffee.”

“What?”

She shifted, leaning against a post and looking up at the stars. “A few days ago when we were at the kitchen table, you showed me how to pour coffee as if I was too stupid to know how to do it.”