“…and before we leave you this morning, we have one final bit of business to take care of.” Her eyes never left Jacob’s as she spoke. He didn’t know of any last-minute announcements.
“As you all know, from time to time Jacob and I take personal announcements from our listeners and broadcast them on the air. I have one of those announcements this morning. Except that this one is a little different. This one is from me, and since all of you have been so loyal to the pair of us doing this show, I thought maybe you’d like to help me. With all of you behind me, I figure I stand a much better chance. So here goes. Jacob, there’s no other way to say this except straight out. I want to get married.”
Jacob’s heart beat rapidly, but the rest of him froze. What the…? She was on the air. What was she going to do—take the ninth caller? He glanced from her to the phone. It was lit up like a Christmas tree.
Michelle reached over and gently grasped his chin, turning him to face her. “To you,” she said, looking directly into his eyes.
Jacob’s grin spread slowly across his face as, without a word, he pulled her off her stool and into his arms. Forgetting where he was, forgetting everything but her, he crushed Michelle’s lips in a kiss that held all of the promises he’d been waiting a lifetime to make.
“Does this mean yes?” Michelle asked when he lifted his head.
“Yes,” he said, then realized he’d forgotten to turn off his mike. The show’s producer and technician were on the other side of the glass making enthusiastic “okay” signs with thumb and forefinger and grinning hugely.
Michelle snuggled closer, reaching up to pull his mike down in front of her mouth. “This one’s for you, Jacob,” she said, cuing in their last song herself.
The song was half-over before Jacob stopped kissing her long enough to hear what was playing. It wasn’t Katy Perry’s latest tune, which was what their program sheets had stipulated. Instead, he heard the hauntingly beautiful oldie “I Am Your Lady” filling the room.
He looked down at the woman in his arms, at the happy tears filling her eyes, and knew that even though they still had some things to work through, this moment of happiness had been worth the wait.
“Let’s go home,” he said, keeping his arm around her all the way to the parking lot.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“I
LOVE
YOU
, M
ICHELLE
,” Jacob said the minute they were inside the beach house. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her so tenderly she was afraid she was going to start to cry.
“I love you, Jacob Ryan,” she said, smiling up at him. His arms felt glorious around her, so strong and sure.
His brown eyes glistened with emotion as he held her. “And I love you enough to let you go if you ever—”
Michelle placed two fingers against his lips. “Shh. This is just about you and me right now.”
He lifted her chin to kiss her slowly, gently, almost chastely. “Are you sure?” he asked.
Her heart ached at the hesitation she saw in his eyes. She’d put him through so much, and all he’d ever wanted to do was love her. She planned to spend the next fifty years making sure he didn’t regret it.
“Absolutely.”
“No regrets?”
“None.”
Loving Jacob was right, destined. He was the other half of the person she’d become, the man meant to share her life.
Jacob brushed her hair back from her face with gentle fingers. “You don’t feel like you’re being unfaithful?”
“How could I? I’m in the arms of the man I love.”
Jacob took her hand and kissed it. “Don’t do that, Michelle.”
“Do what?”
“If this relationship is going to work we’ve got to have total honesty between us from the very beginning. What’s changed? Why are you suddenly free?” he asked.
Michelle stepped back, not wanting to talk about another man in the home she planned to share with Jacob and the girls.
“Can we do this somewhere else?” she asked.
“How about a walk on the beach?”
Jacob didn’t know if it was a good sign or a bad one that Michelle wasn’t willing to talk about Brian in his house. Now that he’d had some time to recover from the shock of her proposal, doubts were crowding in on him. Michelle had been loyal to her first husband for five long years. How could she suddenly just be over him? Unless—his skin grew cold as a thought occurred to him—unless she wasn’t. It was possible that Michelle was doing this because she didn’t want to lose the girls, not because she’d come to grips with her past.
“I’ve put my house up for sale,” she said, her bare toes sinking into the wet sand as they walked.
“I’m glad to hear that. The area’s been going down-hill for years. You shouldn’t be living there alone,” he said. But selling her house didn’t mean she wasn’t still wedded to Brian Colby in her heart.
“And I’ve arranged for a headstone to be erected in Brian’s memory.” Her fingers stole into his. Jacob threaded their fingers together, welcoming the contact as if, with possession being nine-tenths of the law, he could claim her heart merely by holding on to her.
“So you believe he’s gone, then?” he asked, choosing his words carefully. If Michelle had loved Brian anywhere near as much as Jacob loved her, he could only imagine how much it must have hurt to finally say goodbye.
She shrugged. “We may never know what happened to him. But after five years he’s no longer the man I married. That’s the Brian I’m burying.”
He could hear the tears in her voice and stopped walking to pull her into his arms. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry,” he said, feeling helpless.
She didn’t make a sound, but he knew she was crying. She held on to him, her hands clenching into fists against his back.
“I won’t rush you if you’re not ready… .”
She raised her head, her teary eyes filled with conviction as she looked up at him. “I’m ready, Jacob. I’ve spent five years pushing away the pain, refusing to believe Brian was gone so I didn’t have to mourn him. I’ve only just realized that I lost five years of my life. And I realized something else I’m not proud of.”
Keeping his arm around her waist, he started walking again. The waves lapped their feet. “What?”
“That you were right. I was hiding behind my wedding ring so that I didn’t ever have to hurt like this again.”
Jacob was beginning to believe she really was ready to commit herself to him. “And what brought about that realization now?”
“Meggie.”
Jacob stopped, turning to face her. “Meggie?”
“The other day when the girls came over, Meggie was afraid that you wanted to be with Ellen and that she and her sisters were standing in your way. That if Ellen went away again, you’d be mad because she and her sisters were keeping you from going with her.”
Jacob felt sick to think that Meggie had been so worried and he hadn’t even known it. And then something occurred to him.
“She was worried I’d be mad that Ellen left, not sad about her mother abandoning her again?”
Michelle bent her head and said something, but her words were too soft to be heard over the surf.
“What was that?” Jacob asked, tilting her face up to his.
“She wanted to know if I’d take them,” Michelle said, obviously concerned about how this news was going to affect him. But she couldn’t hide the joy Meggie’s request had brought her.
Jacob didn’t like to think that his daughters were making plans to replace him, but he was confident enough in their love to know that their plans were only in case
he
chose to leave
them.
He pulled Michelle back into his arms, grinning. “She did, did she? And what did you tell her?”
“That there was no way you’d ever leave them, and that I’d always want them. It was then I realized what I’d been doing all these months.”
“And what was that?”
“Telling the girls how much I loved them while moving aside to make room for Ellen—when I knew she’d never love them as much as I do.”
Jacob’s grin grew wider. “She wouldn’t, huh?” he asked, amused at Michelle’s defensive tone.
“How could she? She left them. And that’s when it hit me that I’d done the very same thing. I’d run home to my memories every time I was afraid of getting too close, of opening myself up to that pain all over again. Well, I’m not running anymore, Jacob. I don’t want the rest of my life to slip by without a single memory to make it worth having lived. Besides, could you look Meggie in the eye and run away?”
Jacob laughed. “Nope. That’s why I’m saddled with three identical little witches who have me wrapped around their little fingers.”
“Well, it’s two against three now, and we’re bigger than they are. You think we have a chance?”
“Nope,” Jacob said again, sealing their fate with a kiss. He still had a niggling doubt or two, but he was certain of one thing: Michelle loved him every bit as much as he loved her.
“So, when are we going to get married?” she asked as they headed back up the beach toward the cottage. The girls were due home from school shortly.
Jacob had been thinking about that. “I think we should wait awhile,” he said. He couldn’t get away from the fact that no matter how much Michelle loved him, there was always going to be a doubt in her heart about Brian’s death. He could imagine her taking second glances every time they passed someone who resembled Brian Colby. But his worst fear was that Brian would return someday and that Michelle, forced to choose, would feel obligated to her first commitment, no matter how much she loved Jacob.
“We don’t have to get married at all,” she said. “I guess I did kind of pressure you into it.”
Jacob stopped in his tracks and turned her to face him, surprised to see the hurt in her eyes. “What on earth are you talking about?” he asked.
“You don’t sound too eager, that’s all.” She looked like she was going to cry again.
Jacob pulled her up into his arms. “Sweetheart, I’d marry you tonight if I had my way. It’s you I’m concerned about. I just think we should wait until Frank Steele finishes his investigation before we say our vows. I want you to feel as unencumbered as possible. No guilt.”
Michelle reached up to kiss him. “I’d feel that way if I married you right now, but we can wait until we hear from Frank again if it makes you feel better. Except…”
“Except what?” he asked, liking the flush that stole across her cheeks.
“Do we have to actually live in two houses until then?”
Jacob wasn’t going to send her away even for one night. “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said with a grin. “Now let’s go home. I think there’ll be three little urchins arriving momentarily who’ve waited long enough to have their mother welcome them back from a hard day at school.”
Michelle’s face was alight with happiness as they resumed walking. She’d never looked more beautiful to Jacob then she did at that moment, anticipating his daughters’ reaction to their news.
“They will be glad, won’t they?” she asked, sounding nervous all of a sudden.
Jacob still didn’t understand women, which meant that it was lucky he’d have four of them living under his roof. Sooner or later, with that much practice, he was bound to get it right. “Of course they’ll be glad. Where’ve you been these past months?”
“Well, they’ve never had to share you before. They want a mother, but will they like your having a wife?”
“They’re smart kids. They’ll see the advantages. Besides, if we tell them they might have a little brother or sister someday, you’ll be a shoo-in.”
He felt her steps falter beside him. “I wasn’t sure you’d want more children. You already have three.”
“And I’d take three more in a second if they were yours,” Jacob assured her, stopping for a kiss they didn’t really have time for. When he heard the girls clomping up the driveway, the miniature work boots they’d talked him into buying for them too heavy for their feet, he grabbed Michelle’s hand and pulled her toward them. He was anxious to introduce his daughters to their new mother.
* * *
W
ORD
CAME
from Frank Steele two weeks later. He left a message for Michelle to call him, which she did from Jacob’s house. Jacob was there with her. They were planning to take the girls swimming as soon as they got home from school.
“I’ve got your answers, Mrs. Colby, but I’m sorry to say the news isn’t good.” Michelle listened to Frank’s gravelly voice, feeling again that freezing of emotion that had kept her strong during the long ordeal of Brian’s disappearance. And then she glanced over at Jacob, sitting in a chair beside the couch, watching her, loving her, and she knew she was ready to hear whatever Frank had to tell her.
“You’ve found him?” she asked, hoping that Brian was alive. She knew now that whether he was or not would make no difference to her plans.
“He died three years ago, Mrs. Colby. I’m sorry.”
“Three years ago?” she repeated. Jacob got up and crossed to her. He stood behind her and Michelle leaned against him, glad for his strength. No matter how solid her plans for the future, it was still a shock to hear that the young man she’d loved was dead.
“He’d been mistaken for a government official and taken hostage by some of Karim’s men, who planned to use him as a bartering tool. When they found out their mistake they took him to the village where I’d traced him, trying to pass him off as the official they’d thought he was. They bought his cooperation with threats to the village, ma’am. After two years of negotiations, Karim agreed to trade his hostage for a couple of his men who’d been sent to prison the year before. Karim’s men, and Brian, were killed when his deception was found out. If it’s any consolation he was loyal to you until the end, ma’am, apparently crying out your name when he was shot.”
“Thank you, Frank. Thank you.” Michelle was barely aware of what she was saying as she hung up the phone.
She turned into Jacob’s arms, pressed her face into his chest and cried away five years of almost unendurable anguish. She cried for the young man she’d known, the young man she’d loved with all her heart. She cried for the tragedy of his last two years, and for the love they’d shared, the love he’d carried with him to his grave. She cried for herself, for the years she’d spent waiting, while he’d still been alive trying to get home to her, and for the years she’d wasted, waiting for him to come home when he was no longer alive. And she cried in relief, glad to know that her vigil was over at last.
Looking up at the strong handsome features of her husband-to-be, she smiled through her tears.
“I think the girls are home.”