Forever Is Over (72 page)

“
Hello
”
.

“
Is that Amy?
”
the voice of my future husband asked. I recognised
it vaguely but could not place it.

“
Yes.
”

I was going to ask who it was but I figured if I continued to let him
speak, I
’
d be able to figure it out.

“
I just wanted to ring to tell you that my brother is an absolute fool.
”

Nope, still no idea. Maybe if I established who the brother was.

“
Who
’
s an absolute fool?
”

“
Richie! He told me what happened last night and I told him he was
a complete and utter idiot!
”

I blushed so hard that I thought my cheeks would explode with the
heat. I hoped Richie had not told Jim explicitly what had happened last
night. Maybe he had. Maybe Jim was phoning to cash in his brother
’
s
“
Shag Me Whenever You Want
”
voucher.

“
He told you what happened? What exactly did he tell you, Jim?
”

“
That
’
s between me and my brother!
”

“
Not if it
’
s about me, it
’
s not! I just want to hear whether my version
of events and your brother
’
s are the same, that
’
s all.
”

“
Well, after I left you I went down to
“
The Golden Lion
”
and then
to
“
The Ropers
”
as they sometimes have lock ins and I was in the mood
for a few beers. When I got down to
“
The Ropers
”
though, there were
about six pensioners there and that was about it, so I headed home. I saw
a few mates at the Acropolis though, so stopped and had a bit of a chat.
Richie made it back before me, but only just as he was sitting having a
cup of coffee, when I came in.

I asked him
straight away if anything had happened between the
pair of you. I know the two of you were having a row when I was in
Disraeli
’
s, but it was a real husband and wife type row, a row between
people with feelings for each other, so that was why I had made a
discreet exit. I had sensed some sort of chemistry.
”

“
You
’
re obviously a good brother.
”

“
Not always, I
’
m not! Richie could tell you a few stories!
”

“
So did he tell you a few stories about me?
”

“
Not really. He just said you had a bit of a snog and then he regretted
it,
because he
’
s still got the hots for Kelly. I told him he was mad, you
’
re
much cuter!
”

Jim was massaging my ego, but I knew he was building up to asking
me out, he wasn
’
t telephoning to check my lips were OK. I began to
quickly think of excuses. There was no way I was goin
g on a date with
Jim Billingham. There were countless reasons. He was ugly and I was
a bit of a looks snob. He dressed weird, like a 1920
’
s throwback. Jim
looked and dressed like
‘
Fat Sam
’
from Bugsy Malone! He was a school
year younger than me, which felt like ten years and finally, and probably
most importantly, I was madly in love with his brother. All told this was
a lethal rejection cocktail.

“
Thanks Jim!
”

“
Amy, I
’
m not being complimentary here just for the sake of it, I
’
m
dealing in fact. You are an incredibly fine woman and you need someone
who would love you and respect you for the wonderful specimen that
you are!
”

I knew it! I knew he was angling for a date!

“
Jim, are you suggesting to
me that you could be that man?
”

“
I certainly think that I have all the qualities you need, Amy. I may
not be blessed with my brother
’
s good looks, but I make up for it in
personality. If you come on a date with me, Amy Perkins, I guarantee
you will not be disappointed.
”

I smiled. Jim was certainly not lacking in confidence!

“
I may not be disappointed, Jim, but I
’
m afraid you might be. I
’
m
not going on a date with you.
”

“
Give me one good reason why, Amy.
”

I could have given him a hundred, but they would have seemed
very cruel.

“
I just don
’
t want to!
”

“
That
’
s not a good reason, Amy! Just one date. Why not? If you hate
it, just don
’
t have a second date!
”

“
You
’
re too young for me!
”

“
One year, Amy. When you
’
re ninety, I
’
ll be eighty nine!
”

Cruelly, I remember thinking that with a body like his, he
’
d have a
heart attack long before he got to eighty nine!

“
I
’
m happy single.
”

“
So? I had an Auntie Elsie who apparently said in the early 1970
’
s that she was not going to swop to a colour television because she was
happy with her black and white one! Once she got a colour one, she
realised what she
’
d been missing!
”

“
What
’
s that got to do with anything?
”

“
I
’
m just saying I could put some colour into your life!
”

“
No matter what I say, Jim, you are not going to accept it as a good
reason!
”

“
Absolutely not!
”

“
So, basically what you are saying is, that you are going to force me
to go on a date that I really don
’
t want to go on, by persisting when any
normal bloke would just take the rejection on the chin and slope off
feeling sorry for himself.
”

“
Amy, let
’
s get a few things straight. Firstly, I am not a
‘
normal
’
bloke. I am unique. I am not part of the herd, nor would I ever want to
be. I do things that I want to do. Linking in with that, I wouldn
’
t dream
of forcing you into doing something that you don
’
t want to do, all I am
trying to point out, is that your decision making process is flawed. If
you want to come on a date with me -
“
great!
”
, if you don
’
t, then don
’
t,
but don
’
t turn me down because of a twelve month age gap or pretend
you would rather be single than have a boyfriend or because my external
features aren
’
t as pleasing on the eye as my brother
’
s, that just makes
you look shallow.
”

“
Ok.
”

“
OK you
’
ll come on a date with me?
”

”
No, I was just agreeing not to be shallow.
”

“
So, will you come on a date with me? Just a drink in Ormskirk,
tonight. It doesn
’
t have to be Ormskirk, it could be Southport or
Liverpool or Preston or Wigan, or wherever you like.
”

“
Hawaii?
”

“
As long as you
’
re paying!
”

“
Jim, another reason I don
’
t want to go on a date with you, is because
you have a reputation for trying to screw anything that moves!
”

There was an element of irony in that statement. The previous night,
I had not exactly been trying to avoid sex myself. At least I was selective
though.

“
Amy, I am not going to insult you by denying that I have a past,
but that
’
s all it is, a
past.
It would be far, far easier for me to ignore your obvious charms, go back into Ormskirk tomorrow night and manipulate some Edge Hill College student who is just looking to feed her libido now that she has moved away from Mummy and Daddy
’
s.
I
’
m not looking for easy though, Amy. I want to go on a date with
you, as I think you are the only girl I have ever met who I truly believe
I could fall in love with.
”

That line got me. Despite the age gap, despite his looks,
despite who
his brother was
,
that line got me. No-one had singled me out as the
special one before and I knew he was genuine. There was just one more
thing I had to check.

“
If you feel as much about me as you say you do, why
did you not
stick around last night? Why did you leave me with your brother?
”

             
“
Richie
’
s had a rough time recently. He deserves to have someone
great in his life. He is the only person in the world I would have left you
with last night. If it had been anyone else, I swear on my mother
’
s life,
I would have stuck around and fought tooth and nail for you.
”

             
Jim had bought himself a date. I fully expected it to be only the one
date, but it wasn
’
t. That night, we went to the Saracens Head in Halsall.
A quiet pub next to the Leeds-Liverpool canal. Not exactly where you
would expect an eighteen and nineteen year old couple to go, but Jim did
say he was unique! I found Jim charming and very, very funny, but I did
not feel any sort of spark. He just seemed to manage to do enough to get
another date. We didn
’
t kiss until our fifth date and I don
’
t think I fell
in love with Jim until about our twentieth date, but fell in love I did.

Seventeen years later, we are married with four amazing daughters
and I have not stopped loving that crazy man for one second in our
thirteen years of marriage. Every day is different with Jim, I wake up
every morning excited that I get to spend my time with him and the
daughters that we have jointly created.

I only regret one thing. That thing being that I ever had feelings
for my brother-in-law! Richie was so not my type! I love
d
him dearly
as a brother, but wish I
’
d gone home with Jim that night in Disraelis
and Richie had been the one that had moved on elsewhere! I suppose
it was all fate though and everything happened the way it did for a
reason. I just found it hard to accept that the best man at my wedding
and the godfather of our first daughter, Gracie, saw me naked before
my husband!