Foreign Affairs (95 page)

‘You always tell me I’m a softie,’ scoffed Jennifer. ‘Brenda was very taken with the idea, though. She’s determined to see it through.’

‘It could work very well,’ Paula said.

‘And you’ve sorted Rachel out.’ Jennifer smiled.

‘Look, Jenny, she’s got to get out of Bray, it’s a disaster for her. She does nothing there. At least if she moves up to Dublin she can socialize with us and have a bit of
fun.’ Paula got into bed and stretched languorously.

‘And are
you
sorted out?’ Jennifer asked softly.

‘More than I was when I came here.’ Paula gave a little smile. ‘You were right. I have wasted a lot of time. It’s time to move on and stop clinging to a dream.’ She
turned to look at Jennifer. ‘Are you OK?’

Jennifer nodded. ‘As long as I’ve got Ronan I’ll always be OK. I can’t wait to get home to him. And I want to try for another baby as soon as possible.’

‘I think you’re right, Jenny. I’m glad you feel like that.’ She yawned. ‘All in all then, you could say the holiday’s been a success all round despite a very
shaky start.’

‘I think you’re absolutely right, Paula.’ Jennifer switched out the light and smiled in the dark. ‘In spite of rows, affairs and a rainy day, it hasn’t been a bad
holiday after all and the great thing is, it’s not over yet.’

Epilogue

Rachel gazed down at her tan and wondered if it had faded. The nearer she got to home, the lighter her colour seemed. When she’d been dressing in the villa that evening,
she’d looked golden brown in the mirror. They’d all stayed out in the sun for as long as they could before it was time to dress and leave. She sighed happily. It had been a wonderful
holiday. Especially the last few days, when everyone seemed in much better form and there was lots of laughter and good humour.

She thought of Ken and a smile came to her lips. It had been a lovely surprise when he’d presented her with the carved wooden horse at lunch. She’d been very touched to think that
he’d gone to the trouble of buying it for her. She looked forward very much to his proposed visit. The minute she got home, she was going to try for a job in Dublin. Whether she got one or
not, she was going to take up Paula’s offer of moving into the apartment. Noreen wanted to sell the house. Well she could sell it. But Rachel wasn’t going to hang around while she did
it. She’d made up her mind, she was going to commute to school from Dublin. If she didn’t feel like driving she could always take the DART. By next week she would be installed in
Paula’s apartment.

Paula had told her she could move in as soon as she liked. Not that she intended staying there for ever, either, Rachel told herself sternly. She would get a place of her own and be independent.
And start to have fun. Jennifer had suggested that the four of them should meet once a month and go for a meal or a drink. They all thought it was a terrific idea.

Rachel felt full of energy and anticipation. She couldn’t wait to move out of Noreen’s. Jennifer, Brenda and Paula had offered to help move her stuff. They were as pleased for her as
she was for herself. She felt warmed by their affection. Having friends was a wonderful thing. Brenda had invited her to visit any time and she would. There was something lonely about Brenda,
although she seemed very gregarious. Brenda often looked at Paula and Jennifer when they were sharing a joke or chatting together and Rachel knew Brenda felt a bit left out. Paula and Jenny never
noticed. It was not deliberate. They just didn’t realize it.

Rachel understood. She empathised with Brenda. How often had she felt left out of things? She remembered the loneliness of her schooldays when she’d been the outsider standing on the edge
of the precious circle that all were not allowed to join. Still, Brenda was much more cheerful now. The last few days had been very healing. All the horrible tensions had gone. Brenda and Jenny
seemed much closer. They’d all decided at dinner last night to go away for a weekend together, sometime before Brenda’s baby was born, because they’d had such a nice time these
last few days.

Rachel peered out the window of the 737 and saw the south coast of Ireland come into view. There was so much to look forward to and so much to do. She couldn’t wait to get started.

Brenda sucked a barley sugar to stop her ears from popping. It wouldn’t be long now, she comforted herself. Jennifer, who was sitting beside her, asked her if she was all
right.

‘I’m fine,’ she smiled and gave her sister’s hand a little squeeze. Jennifer smiled and squeezed back. Brenda sat back in her seat as the plane steadily descended. It was
hard to believe the holiday was finally over. They’d had such fun the last few days. It had all turned out well in the end. She couldn’t believe that she was going to work for Paula
Matthews . . . and that she was looking forward to it. Paula had been a revelation to her. As long as she’d known her, Brenda had always felt the other girl was a snooty know-it-all.
She’d felt jealous of her and Jenny’s friendship. The holiday had changed all that, when Brenda broke down and told them she was pregnant. Paula had been extremely kind to her after
that. She’d brought Brenda tea and coffee and cold drinks, whatever she wanted, as she lay by the pool, and told her she was to lie back and make the most of it. ‘You’ll have
three kids and Shay looking for attention when you get back, so lie back there and enjoy being waited on.’

They’d all been very good to her, fussing over her. Brenda had revelled in it. She felt much better too after the talk she’d had with Jenny. At least she didn’t have to pretend
to be ecstatically happy about being pregnant. Jenny understood. They’d gone for a walk on the beach the previous evening, just the two of them. Brenda really enjoyed it. The new closeness
was very important to her. It helped lift her spirits. She didn’t feel as gloomy at all now, despite the pregnancy. Jennifer told her she’d babysit for her once a fortnight so she and
Shay could have a night out. Brenda appreciated it. And she wouldn’t take advantage, she told herself firmly.

She was a bit nervous about the job. She didn’t want to make a show of herself in front of Paula. That was one of the reasons she’d asked to be involved from the very beginning. The
more she knew about the whole operation the better. It would be very different from being a minion in Bugs Bunny’s boring office. But it would be demanding and exciting. And she’d have
much more in common with Jenny and Paula. She might even treat herself to a briefcase, she thought with a smile.

She rooted in her bag for another sweet and saw the big bottle of
White Linen
she’d bought for Kit. It was a peace-offering. She owed her mother an apology. She regretted her
nasty remark. She’d bought Shay a bottle of brandy as well as his belt and tie. She’d always have her memories of Yiannis and her exotic little foreign affair, but Shay was a good old
stick and she knew in her heart and soul that she was lucky to have such a tolerant husband, even if it was his fault she was pregnant.

Brenda sighed. It would be nice if the baby was a boy. It would be good for John to have a brother. But this child was definitely the last one. Perhaps she’d try and persuade Shay to have
the snip. It would take the worry out of sex and make life a lot less complicated.

The plane flew along the Wicklow coast. She could make out Brittas Bay over Rachel’s shoulder. Soon she’d be home. And the holiday would be like a dream. But at least she
wasn’t going home to her rut. She had a new job to look forward to. And a closer and warmer relationship with Jenny. That was the best thing to come out of the holiday, Brenda decided. Being
close to her sister meant a lot.

Jennifer was dying to get home. She’d missed Ronan terribly. Even though she had enjoyed the last few days of the holiday enormously, she was glad to be on the plane back
to Dublin. She had to admit though, she was in a much more positive frame of mind than when she’d left. Those last few days had been very therapeutic. She’d really relaxed and made the
most of it. Physically she felt much more like her old self. Her bruises were practically gone. Her ribs weren’t sore any more. Her appetite had come back and that empty scared hollow feeling
was gone. She would never stop mourning her baby. No child to come would replace Danielle. How vividly she could conjure up the beautiful little face of the child who had visited her the night of
her miscarriage. She knew Ronan felt she’d been hallucinating because of the drugs they’d given her. But Jennifer
knew
her baby had come to her to say goodbye. She would derive
comfort from that thought as long as she lived. Jennifer wondered would she get pregnant easily. It would be nice to be pregnant at the same time as Brenda.

She was going to really make an effort with Brenda, Jennifer promised herself. The last few days had been lovely. It had all been very relaxed and Brenda appreciated the attention the rest of
them had given her. Just because the holiday was over was no reason why it should end. Brenda was delighted when Jennifer suggested a monthly get-together. It would be nice for the four of them to
keep in regular close contact. They’d had some good laughs these past few days, there was no reason they couldn’t have the same at home. She knew Brenda was making an effort not to moan
and whinge and feel envious. Perhaps this new job with Paula would give her a boost. Maybe she’d feel part of it all now. Jennifer hoped so. She’d been a bit neglectful of their
relationship in the past. All it took was a bit of effort. She’d make that effort, she thought firmly as the plane banked and the twin red and white ESB towers came into view.

Jennifer felt a twinge of excitement. They were in Dublin, they were practically home. She couldn’t wait to feel Ronan’s arms around her. She was dying to snuggle up beside him in
bed and tell him every single detail about the holiday. He’d roar laughing when he heard about Brenda and Paula’s plans to work together. He’d be delighted to hear about Rachel.
He worried about Rachel. After this holiday, he wasn’t going to have to worry about his little sister any more. It had been a great idea to bring Rachel on holiday with them. Jennifer had a
lot to thank Paula for, she thought fondly, smiling at her friend across the aisle.

‘Nearly there, if you can last that long.’ Paula grinned. She knew how much Jennifer was looking forward to seeing her husband. Coming home was the best part of a holiday, Jennifer
thought happily as the plane passed the Bull Island and made its final turn towards the airport.

She couldn’t exactly say she was looking forward to coming home, Paula decided as the plane began its final approach and she heard the landing gear go down with a thud.
Certainly she wasn’t looking forward to it with the excitement of Jennifer or the anticipation of Rachel. For once, she and Brenda were in the same boat.

Jennifer had asked if she had sorted herself out, and she’d said that she was more sorted out than when she arrived in Corfu. That much was true, Paula reflected, as the fields below came
closer. She wanted to develop Holiday Villa. She’d developed it successfully thus far, so leaving TransCon was not an option. She also knew that, hard as it would be, she had to put Nick and
all that had happened out of her mind. He was Helen’s and there was no point in making herself miserable any more. She would not allow him to occupy any space in her mind. Only on very rare
occasions, when she was far away from Ireland, might she allow herself to think about the treasured words he’d said on the phone to her. ‘If I hadn’t been involved with Helen . .
. It could have been wonderful for us. You’re very special . . .’ Enough now! Paula ordered herself. Start as you mean to go on.

And what about Kieran? Paula sighed. She was looking forward to thrashing out ideas for her new project. She didn’t think he’d have any major objections. She’d made a go of
Phase One, as Paula liked to call it. Phase Two was a logical extension, and the way to go. She liked Kieran very much. Could loving ever follow liking? She’d never feel for him what she felt
for Nick, but as Jennifer said, there were different ways of loving. She should stop comparing. There was no point in getting in a tizzy over it. She couldn’t force it. If it happened, it
happened. At least their business relationship was secure. That thought gave Paula comfort. She buckled her seat belt. The holiday had left her very refreshed. It had been a long time since
she’d really lazed around the place. She should do it more often. The last few days had been an absolute pleasure. Even Brenda had enjoyed herself. It was the first time Paula had ever seen
Brenda really joining in and having fun. It made an enormous difference to the atmosphere.

It had been lovely too, sharing a room with Jenny. Just like old times in Spain. They’d had some great long talks. Jenny had helped her get through the worst time of her life. No matter
what happened in the future, Jenny would always be there to offer sound advice and friendship. In that respect she knew she was an extremely lucky person. The plane touched down with a bump. People
clapped and cheered. Paula took a deep breath. It had been a great holiday despite a shaky start. A lot of good had come out of it. But now it was time to get back to reality and get on with
things. Paula stood up and gathered her bits and pieces.

‘Are you ready?’ asked Jenny.

‘As ready as I’ll ever be,’ Paula said briskly. She was first off the plane.

Brenda was first through the arrivals.

‘Mammy . . . Mammy,’ she heard John call. Her eyes opened wide with pleasure when she saw Shay and the three children standing with a homemade banner that said in big black letters
WELCOME HOME MAMMY. A lump came to her throat. Brenda abandoned her trolley and ran to embrace her family. The kids clambered over her trying to hug her. Shay stood with a big grin on his face.
‘I missed you,’ he said.

‘Oh Shay.’ She buried her head in his shoulder. ‘I’m pregnant, you know,’ she blurted out.

‘I know,’ he said calmly.

‘How? I never said anything,’ she said in surprise.

‘Your moods always change,’ he said diplomatically. ‘That’s why I thought the holiday would do you all the good in the world. You look great,’ he smiled at her.
‘You’ve the best tan ever.’