Forbidden (Star Crossed MC Lovers, #1) (17 page)

"I killed two men tonight." I forced myself to sit up as Grandma walked back toward me.

"I'm sorry, baby. A person should never be put in a situation where they have to defend themselves by using a gun." She moved up beside me and pulled me into another warm hug, patting the side of my arm and kissing me. “You went from a young girl, naïve to the world around you, to being a slave to the devil. Let me help you get out.”

“I’m in too deep,” I whispered. “He’d kill you to prove a point.”

She let out a long sigh. “There’s always a way out.”

“You want to spend the rest of your natural life on the run from him?”

“You can’t go back for more!”

She hugged me again and I held on tight.

“Does your father hit you?” she asked softly.

A tear rolled down my cheek. “No.”

“So the violence isn’t physical. But it can take the form of verbal abuse, manipulation, or emotional abuse. Psychological violence leaves no scars and no physical evidence.”

I let out a tiny sob as she squeezed my hand.

“You can’t live like this, under the care of a psychopathic parent,” she said. “It’s not what your mother would’ve wanted. He’s conditioning his victims. He camouflages his real evil identity and bad intentions to appear normal. But he’s anything but. He’s an extreme narcissist who derives pleasure from the dominance and victimization of others.”

“He’s my father,” I said. “And I love him.”

“You have a shield up that absorbs most of the emotional impact he throws at you. It’s called denial. But wake up. Look at what he did to you.”

“It’s supposed to make me strong.”

“Your father is a convincing liar. He’s able to manipulate others' emotions and perceptions so he can get what he wants.”

“He’s not manipulating me, grandma.”

“He has a Jekyll and Hyde nature. Dr. Jekyll is "charming" and "charismatic"; "Hyde" is "evil.”

“Dr. Jekyll has entered the building,” my father said as he walked inside the room. “Yes, I’m in my charming and charismatic mood.”

“You’re despicable!” she roared.

He rolled his eyes. “One of your tests should be to see if Selene can keep her mouth shut when it comes to her grandmother.”

Grandma moved back, the look in her gaze telling him just how pissed she was by who he was now that my mother was gone.

“I’ll let it slide,” my dad said. “Because I’m in my Dr. Jekyll mood. If Mr. Hyde were out, she might’ve not fared so well.”

“I’m taking Selene to live with me,” my grandma snapped.

My dad’s lips pressed into grim lines. “Not happening!”

“But it’s her choice!”

He looked at me, his gaze intense. “Well, butterfly. Would you like to live with your grandma? After all,
it is your choice
.”

I gazed at him, then her. “No,” I softly said.

My dad smiled at my grandma. “Well then. You have your answer. This is a free world and she chooses me. So I don’t mind if she stays the night here and there, but her place of residence is with me.”

“You bullied her! I saw the look you gave her.”

He chuckled as she kissed me goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“I know why you did it. So he won’t kill me.”

My father chuckled.

I swallowed hard. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

She kissed me on the head. “Sleep tight.”

I watched her leave. 

My dad looked at one of his henchman. "I'm quite proud of her. Four men attack her and not a damn one of them is left standing." He moved up to the other side of the bed.

"Did you send me there to have me killed?" My voice broke slightly and my dad reached out and took my hand, squeezing softly as he sat down on the bed next to me.

"To die? Never. You're my own flesh and blood." He reached out and touched the side of my face. I wanted to jerk away from him, but I wasn't that stupid.

"Then what? Your tests are a little fucking much, don't you think?" I crossed my arms over my chest and tried hard to control my emotions. If I got to upset, I would start crying and there were no points to be won for anyone through tears. My father was a hard man who didn't seem to care much about anything anymore. Not even me, from what I was learning.

"My life is fucked up, butterfly. You said, and I quote, ’I want to be a patched member of the Black Hearts and will do anything to get it,’ so I'm giving you the chance." He reached for me, brushing his hand down my back. "Do you want it to stop? I'm fine with you simply being my daughter. We'll look at colleges and you can..."

I cut him off. "No."

He was patronizing me. He didn't think I was strong enough to survive. Though I hated myself for letting the need to prove him wrong consume me, it did.

"Good girl. You passed this test tonight and are now a prospect. We'll get the tats you've earned when you heal. I couldn't have dealt with those white trash boys better myself. You won't be implicated in anything and we'll clean it up." He leaned over and pressed his lips to the side of my face. For the first time in my life, I could visualize jabbing a knife into his side and watching him die.

I wasn't a monster; I wanted freedom from whatever hold he had on me. The same hold that left me alone most of my life, an outcast who would defend him to the death. It was the hold that buckled me under the pressure to sell drugs and try them, to lie to the cops. It was the tightening grip that forced me to take two men's lives that night, to call Lucky to have him rescue me and become a murderer alongside me.

"I love you, butterfly. I couldn't be more proud of you." He stood and moved to the window, letting out a long breath. "I do have a question for you though."

"Ask." I leaned back and pulled the covers up to my neck.

"You're not friends with the newest prospect of the Stone Wolves, correct?"

I jerked my face toward him and swallowed my fear. "What? Fuck no. Why would you even think that?"

"Elec found him in the parking lot with blood on his shirt a few minutes ago." My father shrugged and turned his dark gaze on me. "Just wanted to make sure we wouldn't hurt you further by teaching the boy a lesson. He's been up to something... I'm just not sure what."

"Teach him a lesson?" I got up carefully and moved to the window in time to see three of my cousins taking turns holding someone while the others hit him.

Terror gripped my heart and my blood ran cold as my father pressed his chest to my back and tightly gripped my chin.

"Yes, and if you're lying to me, this beating will be so much worse next time." He kissed the back of my head. "Don't disappoint me, Selene. I'll kill you just like I killed your mother. Do you understand?"

I stiffened in his hold, shocked by his admitting the truth we all knew.

The light inside of me died in that moment as I watched Lucky take a punishment he didn't deserve. I could do nothing but ignore the reality of who I was and what I came from. Otherwise, we would both forfeit our lives for the truth.

"Yes, Sir," I mumbled and stifled a cry as Lucky hit the ground.

My father released me and walked to the door, his last words breaking my heart.

"Don't leave this room and don't let me ever catch you getting help from anyone again. If you do... I'll have you put down like a bitch. Don't forget who I am, first and foremost. I'm the alpha and omega, the all and encompassing. Your life doesn't exist without me, butterfly. I'm proud of you for tonight, and that alone is the only reason your friend will live to see tomorrow, though I'm not sure he'll want to." He laughed and the door shut as I pressed my hand to my mouth and let out a silent scream.

The curtains slipped from my hand and I turned, sliding down to the floor in anguish. Lucky was bleeding and broken on the ground outside and I needed to go to him, but to do so would cause his death, and mine.

I felt like I’d been hit with a lightning bolt. There was nothing left for me to do but to turn him away.

It's the only thing that could keep him
alive
.

His safety was far more important than my happiness.

My heart ached. My dad was an evil person to do this to me, to make me watch like this, to torment me. I found my phone and asked Dane to come help him. We were friends on Facebook, so I was able to message him. Through the window, I looked at Lucky outside. My heart broke in my chest as I texted him.

Juliet: Lose my number and forget I exist. That beating tonight was my fault. Test three passed for me. Never get involved with a Delgado. We always win.

To be continued...

***

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