Forbidden Fruit (35 page)

“I was chillin’ wit’ the niggas. I saw the baby Yanna, and he look just like Ablo. How you doin’?” He asked as if he’d just noticed me sitting there.

“I’m fine Tre’,” I said standing up to leave. “Call me later P. We need to talk.”

“A’ight,” she said walking me to the door.

I hugged her because I knew she needed it. She sobbed quietly and I waited for her to get it all out. I wanted to help, but I couldn’t because I had no ideal what was bothering her.

I whispered in her ear. “Please P., tell me what it is.”

“I can’t Yanna. Please…just forget it.” She pulled herself together. “I’ll call you. Tell Ablo I said what’s up and you gotta bring Peanut over here.”

I left Princess with a lot on my heart and mind. What could be bothering her so much? I drove back to Diablo’s in deep thought. When I got there the Jag and a Beemer I’d never seen was parked in front of the house. I parked inside the garage and walked into the house. I heard voices coming from the kitchen.

“He goin’ be the next boss.” The voice sounded like Diablo’s boy Mont. He and Juan were the only ones left that Diablo could trust to have his back one hundred percent. He’d lost Ace and Nino.

Diablo shook his head and held his son close to him. “I don’t know ‘bout that man. I mean, at first I wanted my son to walk in my footsteps. Now that he’s here I don’t know if I want him to do the shit I do.”

“You talkin’ soft man.”

“What the fuck you mean? I ain’t talkin’ soft nigga. Yanna told me some real shit man. I got a seed now, and shit ain’t the same no more. Ace and Nino gone. What if I get shot and leave my lil’ man you know. And Yanna, that’s my heart and soul. I love her man. Shit, I’ll be thirty soon. It’s ‘bout time I do right by her before it’s too late. Know what I’m sayin’? I got plans for my lil’ man. I want him to go to college and have a career and shit. I don’t want him to be like me.”

A smile spread across my face as I eavesdropped. I opened the kitchen door and spotted Mont and Diablo sitting at the table. Peanut was asleep in his carrier. I expected that they’d just gotten there right before I did. I kissed Diablo on the cheek before I sat down.

“What’s up Mont?” I asked peeling a banana.

“Not shit. Just sittin’ here wit’ the proud father talkin’ and shit. He done showed lil’ man off to everybody he know. Ya’ll did good. He look just like Blo. I just ain’t figured out why you left and shit. My boy was goin’ through it over you.”

I took a bite of the banana and chewed it slowly before I swallowed it. “It’s a long story Mont, so let’s just leave it at that. I’ll explain everything to Diablo when the time comes.”

Diablo leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I don’t care why you left. All that matters is that you and our son here now. I just wanna make things right for you and him. We need to get back together baby. He need both of us. Let’s give our son sumthin’ we didn’t have.”

I couldn’t read him. I didn’t know if he was sincere, or if he was still on the same bullshit. “I don’t know Diablo. If we goin’ give our son sumthin’ different we both gotta change. It’s time for you to give up the streets. I already have.”

Mont looked at Diablo and frowned. “Man you hen-pecked. Don’t tell me you actually fallin’ for this. You can’t turn your back on the Cues. We your family too man. It’s your son’s birth right to be the next leader of the Cues. What’s goin’ happen to your dad’s legacy man? You goin’ throw away all you know?”

“I ain’t your girl homey. Now get up and take me to see my mama. I don’t feel like drivin’ and she’ll kill me if I don’t take Peanut to see her.”

“C’mon baby. You know you still love me. Stop frontin’ like you can live without a nigga. I know better. Shit, your ass know better.” He flashed me that familiar cocky smile he was famous for.

It was late when we headed back to Diablo’s from my mother’s apartment. Peanut was crying up a storm and I suddenly remembered why I didn’t want any kids at first. He was working on my nerves, but Ablo was all nice about it.

“Aww, what’s the matter wit’ my lil’ man,” he said lovingly. I was driving, so he climbed into the back seat and gave Peanut the bottle and attention that he craved.

I was kind of shocked by his fatherly instinct. I was convinced for a while that he wouldn’t be a good father. Well, for the day he’d proved me wrong. Time would tell if he could handle being a father full time.

When we made it back to the house I was tired as hell. I sat on the couch and kicked off my shoes. Diablo sat down beside me after laying Peanut down. He was down, but I was sure that he wouldn’t be down for long. Ablo lifted my feet and placed them in his lap. He started massaging my aching feet and it felt good. I closed my eyes and those feelings that I’d tried to bury came rushing back. I couldn’t invite those feelings in though, no matter how much I really wanted to. I couldn’t give in to him, but the way he was touching me. It had been so long.

“Damn Ablo that feels sooo good.”

“You know I can make you feel even better,” he said.

I suddenly jerked my feet away from him. I remembered the heartache and pain he’d put me through. I couldn’t forget that during the years we’d been together I’d caught him cheating so many times. My heart was suddenly filled with rage. I sat up and rubbed my temples.

“What’s wrong bay, you got a headache or sumthin’?” Diablo asked. He tried to touch me but I moved away from his touch.

I gave him a hard, menacing look. “This is wrong,” I said pointing to him and then me. “Me and you, that’s wrong! We are wrong Diablo!” I yelled angrily. “I had kinda changed my mind at first, but now…now I know it won’t work. It won’t work Diablo, because I can’t trust you. How the fuck can we be together if you can’t even touch me without me seeing you wit’ other bitches?” Tears dripped down my cheeks.

He tried to hold me, but I didn’t want him to touch me. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me. I don’t want you to touch me.”

He backed off and turned the TV on. “Okay then,” he said sprawled on the sofa like he didn’t care. “You don’t wanna be touched and I won’t force you.”

I wanted to erase the smirk from his face. Suddenly I felt brave enough to tell him that I’d been with somebody else. I wanted him to know how it felt to be hurt. It was the only way he could understand exactly what he’d put me through.

“When? When you was pregnant? When you was in North Carolina and shit? Tell me you didn‘t fuck some nigga when you was carryin‘ my son!” He yelled in anger.

“No, I was here,” I said.

Ablo stood up. “What!” He sounded enraged. “Don’t fuck wit’ me Ayanna! Now you fuckin’ wit’ me right? You telling me you fucked some nigga here in Atlanta.”

Diablo stared at me with pure venom in his eyes. If I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought he was going to kill me. “How the fuck you know huh? I can’t believe you did that shit to me.”

“What the hell? I fucked one nigga and you goin’ off on me! Fuck you!” I stood up and got in his face. “I loved you and you took that love for granted over and over again. You played wit’ my emotions Diablo, and made me feel and look like a pure fool! I wanted to get even wit’ you and I did! I fucked another nigga, but it only happened once. I wasn’t sure if the baby was yours, so I left. The guy that I cheated wit’ agreed to a DNA test. Peanut ain’t his and that only left you. He’s yours and if you don’t fuckin’ believe me we can another one done, because I ain’t got shit to hide. All I want is for you to be a father to our child. We can’t be together because I can’t trust you, and now you can’t trust me.” I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

Diablo looked at me and then looked away. When he looked at me again he had tears in his eyes. “I know the nigga?” He asked.

“It don’t matter Diablo. It’s done and over wit’ now. I won’t tell you who it is.”

Diablo stared at me with more anger in his eyes than before. “What the fuck you mean you won’t fuckin’ tell me! You goin’ tell me who the fuck it is! Now!”

“Stop Ablo before you wake Peanut up,” I said softly.

He shook his head and paced the floor. “Man…this shit crazy. All them times I fucked other bitches I never thought you’d fuck another nigga. I never thought my sweet lil’ angel would be trifling like the next hoe.”

“Trifling? Hoe? Have you lost your fuckin’ mind? We won’t even together then. I fucked that nigga after I broke that bitch’s jaw. It took me catching your ass in the bed wit’ some bitch before I fucked that one nigga one time. That don’t make me trifling and it damn sho’ don’t make me no hoe! It made me open my eyes and see your sorry ass for what you really was.”

Diablo suddenly went into a violent rage. He started yelling and throwing everything he could get his hands on. “I can’t fuckin’ believe this shit! How the fuck you goin’ fuck somebody else! I should beat your mu’fuckin ass! You just don’t know how mad I am at your ass right now! You goin’ sit here in my face and tell me that you gave my fuckin’ pussy to another nigga, and I’m supposed to be fuckin’ calm about it! Then you sit here and fuckin tell me you ain’t goin’ tell me who the fuck the nigga is! I don’t give a shit how many times the nigga smashed! It do fuckin’ matter who the fuck it was ‘cause I’m goin’ kill his ass ! I swear on my fuckin’ life if I find out who the fuck he is I’m goin’ kill that nigga! If you don’t tell me…”

“Diablo, calm the fuck down,” I cut him off. “You goin’ wake Peanut up. It ain’t even that fuckin’ serious. I fucked him one damn time, and that’s it. I ain’t been wit’ nobody else since, okay.” I kept my distance because he was acting crazy. He hadn’t beaten my ass before, but I hadn’t fucked anybody else before either. I suddenly wished I hadn’t said anything to him about it. “Peanut’s your son okay, and if you want proof that’s fine wit’ me.”

Diablo sat down and rested his head in his hands. “Damn,” he said. His body jerked as he cried. I was shocked that he was actually crying like that. In all the years I’d known him I had never seen him cry like that. I wanted to soothe him, but I didn’t. I just waited.

Just as quickly as the sobs started they stopped. He wiped his eyes and then looked at me. The anger in his eyes was replaced by hurt. I saw what I had longed to see, but it didn’t really make me feel good at all. As a matter of fact I felt bad.

“Shit, Yanna. I know I did it to you, but I’m a man. I’m weak for the flesh, but you a woman. You supposed to be stronger than that. You did it just to get back at me, not because you was really feelin’ him? Right?” He asked.

“Yes Diablo. I didn’t want to be wit’ him. After I did it I didn’t even want to do it again. I still loved you the same. It made me understand how separate love and sex can be. I realized that you could cheat and still love me. It’s not just the cheatin’ though Diablo. You disrespected me like I was just any bitch and not your woman. That’s what really hurt. Do you understand me?” I asked staring into his light brown eyes.

Diablo sighed. “I don’t need no blood test. That lil’ nigga in there is all me no doubt. But baby, that shit hurt like hell. To know that you shared my lovin’ wit’ some nigga.” He shook his head. “You was my angel baby. In my eyes you could do no wrong. You was so perfect, and pure. Untainted, and shit. When I got wit’ you hadn’t no other nigga been there. That shit was special to me. I was your one and only, and it was supposed to stay that way forever. Or so I thought. I know I cheated on you, and it was wrong, but I ain’t never loved nobody else. I love you and only you Ayanna. Always have and always will. Regardless of what you did. Me fuckin’ them other bitches never changed that. I never thought you would give up my pussy though. Tell me you didn’t let that nigga taste my fruit. Did you let that nigga taste my fruit?”