For All to See (Bureau Series Book 1) (19 page)

“I had enough to convince myself that this is just sex and that I’m okay with the just part.”

His wet clothes molded to his body, defining every bump and line, and making his arousal blatant. Her gaze dropped to his crotch. Madelyn used the point of her index finger and traced up one side of his shaft, over his head, grazing just the tip, and then down the other side. He tensed to keep from pressing his cock into her hand.

“I didn’t drink enough that I’ll regret it in the morning, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Just sex. Like our kiss was just a kiss?” he asked skeptically.

“Just like that.”

Which meant it was a hell of a lot more, but neither of them was willing to say as much.

“Just like that.” He wrenched the sleeves off her shoulders and peeled the dress off her body.

The fabric plopped to the floor of the tub, leaving only the crest of her mons hidden behind airy lace. Her dusky nipples flushed pink.

Nathan grabbed the back of her neck to keep her steady. His other hand rasped her tight buds. He plucked and tormented them to red tips. Madelyn’s head lulled in his hand. Her breaths flew through her parted lips. He stepped closer and let his fingers follow the water down her body.

The scrape of fingernails on fabric grated in the small confines.

“Oh.” Madleyn’s knees buckled and she dipped.

His knee came up. His arm clamped her back. Her sweet thighs straddled his. Nathan pulled her up, slid her down, and then jerked her up again. Shoved from her daze, Madleyn fisted his shirt. She moaned and pressed against his leg. Her hips rolled.

He sank the fingers of his free hand into the flesh of her ass. In a brutal rhythm he helped her toward the brink.

An animalistic growl rumbled in her throat. “Fuck me. Now. Please. I want you inside me.”

“Come first,” he ordered.

Her hands flew to his tie, tugging and nearly chocking him. “I want you inside me when I come.”

“I will be. But we have all night.”

“Now. Please don’t make me wait.”

Fuck, shouldn’t he be the one begging to get inside her, not the other way around. And why was he arguing?

He set her down, whipped off his tie, and went to work on his pants while she managed the buttons of his shirt. Nathan shucked his sopping shirt, dug the condom out of his pocket, and lost the pants. Madelyn launched herself at him before he was fully sheathed.

A stupid smile split his mouth and he crushed it to her. Water poured onto their faces. He adjusted his grip on her bottom. She’d lost the panties somewhere in the frenzy.

Her heels dug into his back. She levered herself over him. Nathan adjusted and found her hot, slick opening. Gravity and her doggedness nearly completed the act.

“We can say this is just sex, but I won’t act like it is.” He held her the barest inch off his cock. “Look at me, Madelyn. Be with me.”

She lifted her gaze. He lowered her onto his shaft. Deliberately. Her hands tangled in his hair. She pulled him forward and kissed him hard. Her hips rocked in small circles, stealing his sanity a little at a time.

“Yes,” he mumbled against her mouth. “That’s it. Fuck me. Feel me. I feel you. So deep. So damn tight.”

Her breasts jostled against his chest. Her ass cheeks slapped his balls, while her pussy stroked him higher and higher. But her eyes... Her throaty breaths... He thrust against her, pressing his hip onto her clit with every blow.

A cry poured from her lips. His head stung from the hold she had on his hair. It pushed him on. The tempo rose. Her cry rang in a crescendo. His balls constricted and he came with her, pumping out the last of their pleasure.

She slumped against him. Nathan stumbled back. Water slushed around his ankles. He panted. He blinked and finally realized their clothes clogged the drain.

Gathering his wits, he turned off the water, kicked their clothes to the back of the tub, and stepped out. He wrapped a towel around Madelyn’s shoulders. When he disengaged their bodies she whimpered.

“You won’t be rid of me for long.” He set her on the ground, cleaned himself, and then scooped her to his chest. “Nap or round two?”

40

M
adelyn went
from the most intimate experience of her life to Nichole’s funeral. Talk about highs and lows. A strange haze hung over the morning sun. It added a layer of humidity to their hell.

Nichole’s mother, a short, generously curvaceous woman, clutched the lapel of her husband’s tan suit and sobbed uncontrollably. The woman’s weeping brown gaze centered on the pewter urn holding her daughter’s ashes. Her aunt held firm to his other arm and cried the same broken tune.

Bless the man, but he stood tall, though the burden of grief paled his sun-leathered complexion. His gaze stabbed across the low-set marble mausoleum on which the urn sat, only to land on Jim. The hate exchange seemed a two-sided coin. Seething anger radiated off Nichole’s widow in waves. Only a small-framed Methodist preacher at the head and the large FBI agent at the foot barred an escalation on their ancestral burial ground.

Madelyn gripped Nathan’s hand and fed from his unflappable calm. It gave her the footing she needed to ignore the contentious climate and the seas of attendants behind them. She focused on her final goodbye to her good friend. Pain lanced deep and carved out a piece of her heart. They would never again make memories together, but she could only be grateful for the ones she’d been given. In a real sense, Nichole had saved her the way she’d wanted to save her friend.

When the ceremony concluded, Nichole’s mother leaned down and scooped the silver vessel into her arms with the same tender care of a new mother. Madelyn’s throat constricted. The woman shuffled forward as though the last week had crippled her. Madelyn had known this was coming, yet there’d been no way to prepare for it. Tears burned her eyes. She swallowed and blinked them back.

“I didn’t agree with many of my daughter’s decisions for her life, and I don’t agree with her wishes after her death. But I respect her enough to grant her this.” She hung her head low and kissed the top of the urn. Her tears splashed onto the lid and rolled down the side. “I don’t want it back after it’s done. I have my memories. I don’t want an empty jar to remind me of my Nichole.”

Madelyn started to speak, and then stopped. She shoved back the threatening wail. She sucked a shaky breath. Nathan released her hand and placed his hand on her nape, giving Madelyn the strength to reply. “I thought you’d come with me. Your family is welcome.”

Nichole’s father tucked his wife under his arm. “Thank you. But the ceremony was for us. The scattering…” One fat tear fell from his eye. “I’m sorry, but we can’t.”

“I understand,” Madleyn breathed.

The pair handed over their daughter’s remains, and then left with the same broken gait. She held her head high and sucked back the moisture choking her. Something about Jim caught her eye. She tried to turn away, but like other tragic scenes she was caught in the pique and couldn’t look away. His handsome features drew into horrid lines of genuine grief. He had the sad, dazed eyes of a lost dog. The crowd dissipated, but he stayed rooted to the spot, staring at the spot that had held Nichole’s ashes through the ceremony, like he might never leave.

Nathan brushed the back of her hand with his thumb. “I have a message from Pippa, the crime scene tech,” he whispered. “I know this is terrible timing, but I need to call her. Don’t let me rush you. We can stay as long as you want.”

“I’ll drive while you talk. I need to get out of here.”

Madelyn clutched the urn to her chest. Whether or not Jim had killed Nichole, he hadn’t deserved the love she’d given him. Maybe that was the thing about love. It wasn’t always neat and easy. It wasn’t always reciprocated or even appreciated, but that didn’t change the constancy of true love.

She watched the road, the urn strapped into the back seat, and Nathan in equal measure. She may regret things in life, but loving him would never be one of them.

“The son-of-a-bi…” Nathan’s gaze slid to the back seat. “The killer didn’t slip up and leave us anything new at the scene outside your classroom.” He tossed the phone onto his lap.

“That’s too bad,” she said.

Nathan looked out the window. The farther they rode the lower his shoulders slumped.

“Bitch. Fucking bastard. Ass-hat. Piece-of-shit,” Madelyn announced.

That swung his gaze around and earned her two high brows.

“Nichole cussed like a long-shoreman. So, you don’t have to tone it down on account of her ashes. She’d hate to know she ruined a good man bashing.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet her.” A chuckled shook his frame.

“Or maybe not.” Madelyn tapped the front of her lips with her index finger. “She’d have had us in a chapel with a preacher in no time.”

“Like I said.” He winked. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet her.”

41

N
athan held
her in Lady Catherine’s cockpit. She nuzzled into him as they rocked with the gentle ocean. Minutes turned to hours. The rumble of his stomach, the cramp in his leg, and the numbness in his butt from the lack of padding on the ship’s teak bench threatened his quiet resolve. Luckily he’d been water-boarded, electrocuted, and beaten as part of an extra-special Bureau training and knew real pain. He did not say a word, just let the emotions pour out of her.

The ashes had been scattered by the wind and current far beyond view before she emerged from the shelter of his arms. She wiped away the last of the tears on her face and let out an unexpected giggle.

“Do you think it’s ruined,” she asked pointing at his mascara-blotted shirt.

“Tears dry and mascara washes. No worries.”

She looked past him onto the horizon. Pink and yellow hues framed her beautiful, splotchy face. “Is it okay if we stay here tonight? I’m not ready to leave.”

“I don’t suppose anyone can sneak up on us out here. I’ll let Dick know. But what are we going to eat? I’m starving.”

“I’m shocked.” She smiled and stood. “I happen to keep a stocked freezer and fridge for my overnight excursions. How’s grilled cassava and white fish with grilled pineapple for dessert?”

“Too good to be true. I’ll get the grill going.”

They prepped, grilled, and ate in the serenity of the ocean. Madelyn took the plates below and swatted his hand for trying to help. He guessed she needed something to keep her busy.

Nathan sampled his beer and glared at the final scrap of daylight. He had always had careful rule over his emotions. But now—with her life in danger and the killer free because of a technicality—he couldn't seem to rein them. And different scenarios of him taking the law into his own hands and ending Adrian Tau’s life seduced him.

“What’s wrong?” Madelyn stood paralyzed half in and half out of the main hatch. Fear widened eyes overtook her face, which turned ghostly white.

He turned his head in search of the cause of her concern. His rage transformed into self-loathing. She was scared of him.

42

M
adelyn wouldn’t say
she was scared of Nathan in that moment. Wary was what she’d call it, for her own comfort. She’d never seen his emotions turn so quickly or so brutally. Even without a word or a movement she could see that he was a mortal threat to any adversary.

Scared or not she had to know what caused the shift. Mustering up an ounce of courage she spoke, “What’s wrong?”

In a near-snarl he discharged his fear. “He’s out there. He’s getting ready to carry out his plan, for you, and the only thing I can do is wait.” His expression did not change as he continued. “It’s fast approaching. Whatever his plan is…he’ll do it soon.”

Her fear was gone. His concern was real. He only hid it better than she did. Quickly, she ended the distance between them.

“It will be fine. You and your team will stop him.”
Then you can go back to your life and leave me in pieces
.

Nathan cussed under his breath. He pulled her close and tilted her chin up until their gazes met. His hand caressed the length of her face. “If anything happens to you... I don’t know what I would do.”

Madelyn struggled to lighten the mood. His care and concern made her love him. It hurt like a mother, too. “Look, your work here will be done soon. You’ll be done with me one way or the other. And you’ll go back to Miami and get on with your life.”

He huffed out a breath. “Then let me hold you while I can.”

She dove into him and curled into the safety of his arms. The sun fell off the earth and darkness corrupted the exquisite beauty. The stars sparkled like glitter in the sky. Madelyn nudged the crook of his neck with her nose.

The whiskers of his day-old beard grazed the skin of her forehead. The bulge of his deltoid nudged the back of her neck. The scent of him washed over her fears and distress.

Her worries melted into desire. Yearning heat pooled in her mouth. She remembered his taste. It moved down, slowly simmering in her chest. Her breasts swelled to fine points. Lower still, it shifted, resting in the juncture of her thighs. And suddenly it wouldn't be contained.

She took Nathan’s hand and led him down the ladder stairs of the galley. Before his feet hit the solid wood floor she lunged, attacking his mouth with hers. She pinned him against the wooden steps.

Nathan ignited her passion and now he’d have to deal with the consequences. He tried to wrap his arms around her, but she wouldn’t allow it. She clasped his hands, shoved them over his head, and held them there. Their tongues battled.

Her lips explored his lips, his jaw line, the muscular ridges of his neck. She had to pace herself and make the most of the time she had with him. In an act of sheer will and determination, she planted her hands on his concrete chest and peeled herself off. Stepping back a few feet, she flashed him a devilish grin.

Madelyn slipped her fingers into the edge of her shorts. Inch by inch, she worked the material down. Her hands run over her hips and back, and then over her ample cheeks. As she reached the curves of her thighs gravity did the rest. Nathan’s gaze scoured her body.

She pressed her palms close to the silky skin above her breasts and pushed them over the cliffs of her shoulders. Madelyn savored his hungry eyes and took her time coasting the material down the length of her body. Bare and burning with desire, she stepped toward him.

Her fingers inched under his shirt, and then glided over his rippled abdomen. She reached the ridge of his chest and pressed on, moving over the plateau and around the back to the muscles of his shoulders. She lifted the shirt up over his head. Her covetous eyes roved his dips and plane, and then snagged on his grin.

“You like that?”

“I like that you’re not afraid of your own sexuality. Or mine.” He grabbed the top of the railing and his biceps flexed.

“Mine can be fun, but I like yours better”

Madelyn curled her fingers into the edge of his jeans, and then released the button and zipper blocking her progress. She slipped her hand down his body. His erection filled her palm. Satin skin caressed her fingers. She stroked his steely length and massaged his tip, enjoying the feel of him for a while.

A deep groan rumbled in his throat and pushed her over the edge. Her restraint snapped. All she wanted was to feel him inside her and all over her.

With a yank his pants hit the floor. She climbed the ladder until the head of his dick lined up with her greedy flesh. Her thighs clamped around his torso. She arched back in search of his slick head, but found herself hoisted into the air. Her arms flailed. Then a sexy-as-sin view of his ass cheeks—dimples and all—filled her view.

Nathan moved through the cabin into the bedroom. He tossed her onto the fluffy white linens. “You’ve had your fun. Now it’s my turn.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Fuck yeah. Look in your bag.”

Madelyn’s heart zipped across her chest. She kept him in sight while she leaned to the shelf that ran the perimeter of the queen sized bed. Her zipper yawned and a slender black case came into view. Her heart ran circles until it got dizzy and fell over.

“I’ve never used my toys in front of anyone.”

“Don’t worry.” He plucked the case from her bag and evicted her Crave Duet. “You won’t be using it. I’ll be using it on you.”

He braced a knee on the mattress and prowled toward her like a wolf. Her insides quivered. When he yanked her by the knees she shrieked and giggled. His thighs brushed the insides of hers.

“You had a first with me. It’s only fair I get to have a first with you.”

He held the silver end of the sleek device between his thumb and forefinger. Slowly he turned it this way and that, examining the narrow silicone prongs.

“You’re taunting me.”

“And you like it.”

Boy did she. Her body tingled. The anticipation and his sadistic grin curled her toes.

He pressed the on button. “Now, where to put this?”

He settled the long, smooth edge at the bend of her knee. The whispered touch tickled, but still sent an easy course of need snapping up her leg. She rustled them against his firm, hairy legs. His eyes narrowed. His hand drifted, dragging the low vibration over her skin to just above her kneecap.

The brunt of his lightly-haired chest pressed her into the mattress. His mouth clamped onto her nipple. She arched into him. The vibration rose up her leg.

“Yes. Oh, Nathan. Yes.”

A pop filled the room as he released her breast. “Hmmm, maybe it goes here?” He dragged the tip over her chest, in the valley, and then across her mound. The two prongs pressed in on either side of her distended nipple. Pleasure rippled through her body. She moaned shamelessly.

He depressed a button on the other end and the pulse zipped to life. “Forgive me, but it’s my first time.”

“Right,” she panted.

“Really, it is.” He grinned and flicked her other nipple with his rough fingers. “Your collection had so much to choose from. I almost went with the small pointy things, but there were a few different sizes and I didn’t want them to get lost.”

Her face heated about ten degrees. He’d found her plugs. Nathan slid the edge of the vibrator along her abdomen, and then flirted with the rim of her belly button. Her stomach danced.

“Let’s face it, I know just what to do with your phallic shaped tools. But this one…” He pointed the end up like he could stab her with the fork end and ran the barest tip over the flushed lips of her pussy. Her head fell back onto the pillowed cover. She cried out through a wide mouth.

When she was alone, this device got the job done sweetly, given a bit of time. With Nathan in the driver’s seat it rushed her to the precipice of orgasm before it had even touched her clit.

“Yep,” he groaned against her ear. “This one is a mystery to me.” He kissed her lobe, and then sat up. His knees parted her legs and he kneeled between them. With firm hands, he spread her.

The jut of his cock rose between her stretched legs. She pushed her hips off the bed to slick him with her wetness, to taunt him like he taunted her, but he only extorted her exposed flesh. The full length of the flat side zapped the top of her mons, and then expertly pushed down. He trapped her erect clit between the soft prongs. Her nerve ending sizzled and snapped.

“So, I’ll just have to see what I can figure out,” he growled.

Madelyn gripped the covers and braced for the impending orgasm. Her eyes closed against the onslaught of pleasure. So close. She rose higher and higher. The vibrations died. Her eyes popped open.

“I found the off switch.” A smirk corrupted his face. “But don’t worry. I’m not done with you.”

“I hope you’re never done with me.” She whimpered, but Nathan cut it off with the head of his dick. He swirled his bare silk in her cream. His smooth tip titillated. Her hips undulated, needing more.

Nathan’s playfulness fell away, leaving him as exposed as she’d ever seen him. A crazy mixture of joy, fear, elation, and terror shown brightly on his features. She’d seen that look before, on her own face, when she thought about how much she loved him.

No. The pheromones and hormones and Nathan’s sexy body beguiled her intellect. Madelyn closed her eyes. She tried to focus on the here and now, on his touch, on his attention. Tomorrow didn’t matter.

“Madelyn, I’ll never be done with you.”

Her heart caught, but she didn’t open her eyes. If she did and this turned out to be a dream, she’d cry.

The head of his cock pressed inside her. She blinked him into view. His eyes were trained on her. They had more impact than a fatal gunshot. He held her gaze and pushed in the barest inch.

“Nathan,” she gasped, “you forgot…” She tried to ease back and reach for her purse that held a full box of condoms.

His hands barred her hips and her escape. “I don’t forget things like that.”

She levered onto her elbows thinking she’d missed him rolling one on, but found his beautiful dick unsheathed, except for the bit nestled inside her body.

“Tell me you don’t love me, that you don’t want this—us—to be more, and I’ll stop. I’ll put on a condom and finish what I started.”

“I can’t,” she breathed.

“Why not? It is because it feels too damn goo—“

“Because I love you,” she blurted. “Because I can’t bear the thought of you leaving. Because I see a future with you, a future I never knew I wanted.”

So this was what jumping out of an airplane felt like. The rush mingled with fear, but the freedom overpowered it all. No matter what happened, she couldn’t regret this.

Nathan dropped the vibrator, leaned forward, and rested his forehead against hers. “I—”

“Don’t,” she whispered.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t say anything. I know it doesn't change anything for you. I didn’t even mean to say it, but… It’s how I feel. No matter what, I’m happy to know I can feel this way.”

His dimple creased on unspoken words.

Madelyn’s throat constricted. She wanted to hear him say he loved her more than anything. But she didn’t want to persuade it out of him. Or worse, she didn’t want to hear him let her off easily. Her feelings were out in the universe. What he did with them was his business.

The brush of his lips over her eased the pain. His big palms cupped her face and she met his kiss with a tenderness that matched what he gave. Pressure of his teeth on her lower lip escalated the contact. He arched her head back and grazed his bite over her chin. She undulated beneath him.

He rocked into her, pressing in and withdrawing with maddening patience. His hands locked around the back of her shoulders. Trapped beneath anyone else, panic would have seized her. Being trapped by Nathan’s sinewy body zinged her clit more than the vibrator could.

She held fast to the bulge of his lats and let everything else go. The head of his dick kneaded her G spot. His width pressed into her already sensitive flesh. He ground her tender nub with each drive. But the barely fastened restraint tensing his muscles and the look of awe in his deep eyes set her free.

Her scream ricocheted off the walls. His shout followed. But not from his climax. No, he unleashed his control. His pace ramped. His force doubled.

“Fuck, Madelyn, I never thought I wanted to hear those words, but out of your mouth… You’ve unhinged me.”

A fine sheen of sweat slicked his body. Madelyn braced her heels on his hard bottom and joined in the furor of their passion.

Sweat dripped off his chin and onto her breasts. She surged against him over and over. The quiver of orgasm started in her toes. It shot up her legs and sang to every extremity. She cried out.

Nathan pulled out and fisted his red cock. His neck strained. Awareness glazed with lust. He came hot on her belly and breasts. When he finished she pulled him down atop her, wanting him close forever.

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