Epilogue
Washington, D.C.
November 1984
C
HILLING BLACKNESS
.
Casey's hands flew to her mouth to stifle a cry of pain. Luke froze in his tracks, his back and shoulders stiffening.
“I thought . . . I expected . . . a statue . . . something . . . something white . . . something that would please the eye. This . . . this . . .”
“Is somber and reflective,” Luke murmured. He was referring to the Vietnam Memorial with its manicured ramparts, two angled walls which sloped down into the ground from a height of ten feet at their junction. The carved names of the dead began and ended at the apex and were arranged in the order of their deaths from the years 1959 through 1975. “And contemplative. I can see it, now that I've gotten over the shock. Casey, look at it closely. Look at it with your mind, not your heart,” Luke ordered.
“I am, Luke. It's ugly. It's cold, it's black. It's ambivalent, like this country's attitude toward the war.” A sob caught in her throat. She leaned against her husband, her face full of despair.
“Like it or not,” a vet said standing next to her, “it exposes the denial in this country's reaction to the war. I see . . .” the vet continued, “dignity, simplicity, elegance, something the war wasn't. I want to believe this is the beginning of our healing process.”
Luke and Casey watched him walk away, muttering the same phrases over and over to anyone who would stop and listen.
“He's probably right,” Luke said quietly.
“So many names. My God, so many names,” Casey said softly, her hand outstretched to touch the names carved in the black granite. “I can see the reflection of myself, the trees, the people, the birds, the sky, the
other monuments, the world
.” Her index finger traced the name Willard D. Craig and then the name Merle I. Cripe. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “It's not enough!” she cried.
“No, it isn't,” Luke said, “but it's all we have for now. The more you look at this, the more you see reflected, the more I think this is . . . about as close to perfect as you can get. It's going to take a lot of getting used to, but someday this wall is . . . I don't know what it's going to be, but it's going to go down in history.”
“What about that ragtag parade down Constitution Avenue?” Casey choked out the words, her fingers still tracing names of the fallen.
“It's a start, Casey. That's how we have to look at it. You're absolutely right, it's not enough, but it's all we have,” Luke said, putting his arm around his wife.
“We have to find Rick's name. I'm not leaving here till we find it. Sue's name too. Are women's names on here? I want to see Mary Klinker's name and . . . and, the other one, oh Luke, I can't remember her name. . . .”
“We'll find them, Casey. We promised each other we wouldn't do this, and here we are doing exactly what we said we wouldn't do. Walk around with the children, and I'll find the names. Go on, Casey, the kids are getting restless.”
“You're right. I'm sorry, honey,” Casey said, stretching up on her toes to kiss her husband on the cheek. “We'll be back in ten minutes.”
Luke squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them he felt warm sunshine on his head. He looked around, disoriented for a moment, confused at what he was feeling and seeing reflected in the blackness in front of him. Casey was right, he could see the world, sparrows in flight, trees, monuments, sky, parents, brothers, sisters, the veterans strolling the Mall. He raised his eyes upward to feel the sun on his face. We're all being blessed, he thought.
The moment Luke found the name he was searching for, he pressed his finger so hard against the black marble that his nail cracked. It would have taken a derrick to dislodge him. When his wife returned, he guided her hand to the carved name: Richard Sanducci. He did cry then.
“Did you know that guy?” a voice behind them asked shakily.
Casey turned. “We all knew him. I was a nurse in Vietnam, my husband was a doctor. Were you there?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I was there. I knew Rick. Had a beer with him once. Saw him at that picnic in Da Nang. I was there when he was . . . when he . . . bought it. No one knew what to do. I mean that guy was like God, he wasn't supposed to die.” The vet was shaking now, trembling, his eyes wild and frightened. He bent over clutching his stomach and then dropped to his knees, shaking worse. From out of nowhere a circle of bearded, fatigued veterans closed in.
Casey shot a look at her husband before she dropped to her knees. “It's okay,” she said soothingly, “you're among friends.” She pulled him close, stroking his hair, his back, his arms. “I went through this, so did my husband, and all these guys standing here. Is your family here?” she crooned. “Can we fetch someone?”
“What family?” the soldier said bitterly. “My wife couldn't handle it, so she took my kid and split. She got married again and won't even let me see my son. Said I was a bad influence with my nightmares, screaming fits, and . . . oh shit, she said it all. I lost every job I got. For the past year I've just been bumming.”
“There are places you can go for help,” Luke said softly. The circle of vets hooted sarcastically.
“There are places and then there are places. Here,” he said, whipping a notebook and pen from inside his jacket. “This is a toll free number for you to call. If you can't make it there on your own, someone will come for you. This is a place where you'll get
real
help and be able to get your life back together. Before you know it, you'll have your son back. Trust me,” Luke said seriously. When the ex-soldier still looked doubtful, Luke said, “Remember that guy who threw the picnic in Da Nang? He heads up this foundation, oversees it. Won't cost you a cent. All you have to do is call.”
“You shitting him, Doc?” one of the vets said coldly.
“No!” Casey said. “He's telling you the truth. You can all go if you need help. A support group isn't enough. There are people there, trained people who understand and know what you're going through. Why don't you give it a try? What do you have to lose?”
The soldier was on his feet, wiping his sweaty hands on his raggedy jeans. He nodded miserably. The paper Luke handed him was safe in his pocket.
“Thanks. I'll give it a try. Is this your son, Doc?”
“Yes.”
“A man shouldn't lose his son. It's not right, it's not fair.”
“No it isn't. Listen, I wrote my address on that paper. Let us know how you're doing, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” the soldier called over his shoulder as he moved off with the small group of men clustered around him protectively.
“My hero,” Casey said shakily. “He'll go, won't he, Luke?” She wiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I think so,” Luke said.
“Don't cry, Mommy,” seven-year-old Luke said.
“It's okay, honey, this is a good cry. Remember I told you sometimes people cry because they're happy? I'm crying because your daddy just did a kind, wonderful thing.”
Luke Junior, a miniature replica of his father, stared up at his father adoringly.
“Mommy, can we get some ice cream now?” four-year-old Lily asked, tugging on her mother's skirt.
Casey didn't respond. Her eyes were on a small party approaching the wall from the left. A gaggle of reporters trailed behind, asking for an interview. She heard him say in a voice she remembered, “This is a private moment for me, gentlemen, please respect my wishes.” She almost fainted, and probably would have but for Luke's tight grip on her arm.
He saw her then, his step faltering.
Luke released his grip on his wife's arm so he could heft Lily to his shoulders. “We knew this would happen someday. Can you handle it?”
Casey looked at her little family. Of course she could. She smiled and said, “Senator Carlin, how nice to see you again. You know Luke, and this is Luke Junior, and this little minx is . . . is named Lily.” My God, her voice sounded normal. How, she wondered, was that possible? He looked just the way she remembered, a little older, a little grayer around the temples, but then so was she. She smiled again.
God in heaven, Mac thought. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her hand was outstretched, he had to take it in his own. He thought he could hear his heart beating inside his chest. “Casey, it's good to see you again.” He had to look away. He couldn't bear to see the pain in her eyes. “Lily, you said.” He wondered if anyone picked up on the catch in his voice. “Luke.” Mac thrust out his hand. “I've been meaning to write you, to give you an update on all those guys you sent us. God, I can't tell you how satisfying, how rewarding it is to work with these vets. Thanks doesn't seem sufficient.”
“It'll do,” Luke said quietly.
“Where are my manners? This is Alice, my wife. Jenny, and this guy . . . this guy is Eric, Lily's son,” Mac said proudly.
Casey's arms went out to the boy. He looked just like Lily. She kissed him and hugged him. “Oh, let me look at you. However did you find him, Mac? We tried and tried. You must be sixteen, all grown up.” The urge to throw her arms around Mac was so strong she clutched at the boy instead. “Luke, look,” she babbled, “it really is Lily's son. I named my daughter after your mother,” she said to the startled boy.
Casey really looked at the boy then, all the memories rushing back to her. He was tall, with hazel eyes and light brown hair, probably inherited from Eric Savorone. At first glance he looked very American, with his sneakers, jeans, and sport coat. At second glance she could see his Eastern heritage in the shape of his eyes.
“Do you know my real father, Mrs. Farrell?” the boy asked anxiously. Casey's eyes didn't waver in the uncomfortable silence that followed the boy's question.
“No, Eric, I don't. I know one thing, though. If your mother could have chosen a father for you, she would have chosen the one you have.” The gratitude in Mac's eyes made her head spin.
Casey smiled, her eyes on Alice Carlin and her children. Her smile said, You have nothing to fear from me. Alice, her arms around both her children, smiled gently in return. Her smile said, I understand.
“Mac, it was good to see you again.” She moved closer to kiss him lightly on the cheek. The faint scent of his after-shave tickled her nostrils. For one incredible moment she wanted to grab him and run as fast as she could. The moment passed. She stepped back to link her arm with her husband's.
“Keep in touch,” Luke said gruffly.
“You too,” Mac said just as gruffly.
The Farrells moved away.
“How was it?” Luke asked carefully, fearful of his wife's reply.
“It was fine, Luke. It's over.” It was the first outright lie she'd ever told her husband. She buried it deep in her heart.
Â
“P
IZZA FOR EVERYONE
,” Alice said cheerfully.
“Go ahead, I'll get the car and catch up to you,” Mac said.
Mac moved slowly until he was standing by the middle of the memorial. The crowds were gone now except for a few stragglers. He was alone, his reflection silhouetted in the blackness. Not quite alone, he thought. He could see the backs of Casey's little family walking away. An alien hand squeezed his heart. He fought with himself not to run after them, to grab her, to say the hell with everything and run off. Then the monument reflected only his solitary figure. Mac wiped his eyes.
Then dry-eyed, he walked the length of the memorial, muttering as he went along. “We won't let them forget. We did our best, Luke, Casey, Rick, me, all those guys. And
we'll
never forget.”
Never.
They're back! The Sensational Sisterhood returns
in Fern Michaels's brand new novel:
BLINDSIDED
Myra Rutledge isn't ready to mothball the Sisterhood just yet.
When Maggie Spitzer, former editor-in-chief of the
Post
and an honorary member of the Sisterhood, arrives
with a new mission in mind, the Vigilantes are soon gathering
in their war room once more. While catching up on each
other's lives, they plan a brilliant campaign against a duo
of corrupt judges running a moneymaking racket that sends
young offenders to brutal boot camps, often on trumped-up
charges. Their enemies are powerful and ruthless,
but the Sisterhood have their own formidable alliesâ
including former President Martine Connor.
Once their scheme takes off,
the guilty won't know what hit them.
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Read on for a special excerpt.
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Chapter 1
I
T WAS A
beautiful autumn day, too nice really to be indoors, but Myra Rutledge had already been out with the dogs. She'd even made a trip to town to run some errands and stopped to have a solitary, boring lunch. At the moment, she couldn't remember what it was she'd eaten. She looked around her beautiful country kitchen and wished, not for the first time, that she had some kind of culinary expertise. She'd wished so many things lately, and none of her wishes had come true; nor were they likely to come true. Sad.
Oh, how she missed what she called the
old days,
when she and the girls were righting justice, vigilante-style. The “girls,” meaning Nikki, Alexis, Kathryn, Isabelle, and Yoko. But as Charles said, all good things must come to an end. She'd argued the point, as had Annie, but Charles had held firm with his words. After he'd bandied about the word
old
at least a hundred times. Possibly more, until she and Annie had run him off with the broom. He'd retired to his lair in the catacombs, also known as the War Room, beneath the house. Which hadn't changed a thing. At that time. Now, though, it was a different story.
Myra fingered the pearls around her neck, her great-grandmother's heirloom pearls, which she was never without. Her intention had always been to leave the pearls to her daughter Barbara, but that was impossible now. With Barbara's death years ago, her life had changed, and so would the legacy of her pearls. Maybe she'd just donate them to some charity and let it sell them off for whatever they could get.
A heavy gust of wind sent a cascade of brilliant-colored leaves sailing across the backyard. Myra debated a moment as to whether she should go outside and collect a bouquet for the kitchen table. She shrugged and decided that the chrysanthemums in the bright purple bowl on the table still had some life in them.
Myra shivered as she looked across the room at the thermostat. She walked over and turned it up. She flopped down at the kitchen table. The dogs came running, not understanding what was going on with their mistress. She fondled all of them and babbled away about everything and nothing. She missed the girls and the boys, but most of all she missed Annie, whom she had seen every day until Annie went to Las Vegas two days ago. She usually stayed ten days or two weeks, which always left a huge void in Myra's life.
The bottom line was that she was bored out of her mind and had no clue what to do to occupy herself. She could, she supposed, go down to the tunnels and pester Charles, who was writing his memoirs; but he'd make short work of her. She knew that because she'd tried the trick on other days. Writing a memoir such as Charles's had to be tough going since he'd been at it over four years. She had no idea why he was even bothering since he had to be so careful to change names, dates, and places so as not to incriminate anyone. In the end, what was the point? Whatever it was, it kept Charles busy, which was more than she could say for herself. Maybe she needed to write her own memoirs. Like there would be a market for her life story! Then again . . .
The dogs suddenly tensed, the fur on the back of their necks standing on end. Visitors? Intruders? They ran to the door as Myra looked up at the security monitor over the kitchen door. A car was whizzing through the opened gates. Someone with the combination. “Annie!” Myra shouted, as she opened the door and ran outside. “Oh, dear God, you are home!”
Annie hugged Myra. “You missed me that much, eh?”
“I did. I do. I was sitting here going out of my mind missing you and feeling so very sorry for myself. I wasn't expecting you for at least a week.”
“I knew you would be missing me, so I decided to come back.”
“They kicked you out
again?
”
Annie laughed. “They can't kick me out; I own the joint. Things just go to hell when I'm there for some reason. This time, though, I thought I had it made. I tried sneaking in. Damn if they didn't know I was there before I even arrived. Does that make sense, Myra?”
“Sort of.”
“Since Bert Navarro took over as head of security, wind couldn't get through a crack. We have better security than the White House with all those Secret Service agents. If you have secrets, Vegas is the place to be. Which brings me back to what I was sayingâthey knew I was there before I even got there. It ticks me off. I won seventy-three dollars on my way out of the casino. Do you want to go to lunch? My treat?”
“Anytime one of the richest women in the world wants to buy me lunch, you won't hear me declining the invitation. Where would you like to go?”
“Stop with that rich stuff, Myra. You have as much money as I have, and if the bill is over seventy-three dollars, you're paying the balance.”
“Deal. What's wrong, Annie? I can read you like a book.”
“Let's get a few drinks under our belts and talk then. Anything going on since I left?”
“Not a thing. Same old same old. The leaves are almost all down. I think there's supposed to be a harvest moon tonight. Before you know it, there will be frost on the pumpkins. I planted some pumpkins just to see if they'd grow. I have six or seven of a good size for the front porch, and Charles will have enough for pies at Thanksgiving.”
“That's it! That's your news! Three days is a long time. Seventy-two hours to be precise. I can't believe nothing happened in seventy-two hours.”
“Sorry to say it is what it is. I haven't even heard from the girls since you left. How was Bert? Did you meet with him?”
“He's fine and yes, we met for a drink. He likes the job. He hired a new man a while back who has his own story. I met him and gave him my seal of approval to his employment. What that means is Bert has more free time with an extra set of eyes and hands. Having said that, according to Bert, there is never a dull moment. He said Kathryn makes it back to Vegas just about every weekend. Things are okay between the two of them since he's accepted the idea that Kathryn doesn't want to get married, not now, not ever. Once he crossed that hurdle and truly accepted it, he's less stressed, and they just enjoy each other's company for what it is instead of tiptoeing around each other. I didn't see Kathryn. Bert said she was due tomorrow. She thrives on driving that eighteen-wheeler, but then we all knew that.
“He's quite pleased with himself about Harry's agreeing to come to train his troops, as he calls them. Like I said, we have better security than the White House. Does that boggle your mind, Myra?”
“Yes, it does. Kathryn's young, Annie. The young thrive on adventure, and driving overland is an adventure. It's also survival for Kathryn, so we can't fault her. You keep forgetting we're old now. We can't do things like that anymore.”
“Says you,” Annie snapped indignantly. “Age is a number. Nothing more.”
Myra looked at Annie, her eyes sad. “We have to be realistic, my friend. You can't stop the aging process no matter how hard you try, and I know you're trying very hard, Annie. Now, why don't you tell me why you
really
came back home after only three days, and don't try that trick about how they kicked you out, because I'm not buying it.”
Annie stared out the kitchen window at the colorful leaves blowing in all directions. Like Myra, autumn was her favorite time of the year. She poured a cup of coffee and carried it to the table. “I didn't realize I was that transparent.”
Myra's voice turned gentle. “Annie, whatever it is, you can tell me. We've always told each other everything. You know I'm a good listener, and you also know I am not judgmental. Except for that time with the pole dancing,” Myra said defensively.
“My eyelashes are falling out.”
“What? That's why you came back from Vegas, because your eyelashes are falling out! Everyone's eyelashes fall out, and new ones grow. You can get new ones. I saw it on TV I don't want to hear that your toenails are yellow, either. That's why they make nail polish. Cut to the chase, Annie.”
“Fergus left. He's gone.”
Myra's eyes popped wide. “Where did he go?”
“Home. To Scotland. To his family that he has been estranged from for years and years.”
“What changed, Annie? Did something happen or change that you didn't tell me about?” She watched the tremor in Annie's hands as she brought her coffee cup to her lips. “You can tell me,” she said gently.
“I was blindsided, Myra. I didn't see it coming. And, yes, something did happen, but I promised not to say anything to anyone. When your partner confides in you, you have to keep that private, and a promise is a promise. Fergus won the Irish Sweepstakes. It was a lot of money. I don't know why or how he thought he could keep it a secret, but he did. Somehow, his children got wind of it, and they started making overtures toward him. Blood is thicker than water. We both know that, Myra. It wasn't that he didn't want to share his winnings with his children; he did. The first thing he did was set up trusts for the children and grandchildren. I encouraged him to do that. I'm not sure in my own mind that he would have done it if I hadn't pressured him into it. Regardless, it's water under the bridge now. He's gone.”
“Is he coming back?”
“I doubt it.”
“How do you feel about that, Annie?”
“Well, Myra, I understand it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I would never, ever, stand in the way of a family's reuniting. Nor would you. We both know how important family is since we both lost ours. It is what it is. The sun will come up tomorrow, and that same sun will set later in the day. Life goes on.”
“So does that mean you're okay going it alone? Did he ask you to go with him, Annie?”
“No, Myra, he did not ask me to go with him. It's easy for me to say now that I would have declined, but back in that moment of time, I don't honestly know what I would have done or said had he asked me.”
“Is there anything I can do, Annie?”
“Not a damn thing, my friend. I have to work this out myself. Right now, I'm up for some
action
.”
“Well, my dear, you've come to the wrong place if you expected action here at the farm. Unless you count taking the dogs out or riding over to Nellie's to watch paint dry. She's having her house painted as we speak. Pearl Barnes is laid up with a bad case of gout and is meaner than a wet cat, so we can't visit her. Martine, our esteemed ex-president, is in Dubai or some damn place with a lot of sand doing something or other. She left yesterday morning. It's just us, Annie. We can't even count on Charles to entertain us because he's deep into his memoirs and only comes up to cook and most of the times he . . . God, Annie, I'm almost ashamed to say this, but he's been using a Crock-Pot since it does all the work. I'm getting sick of one-pot meals. I might actually have to try my hand with a cookbook.”
“Well, that sucks. Everything sucks. Don't mind me, Myra, I'm just cranky. I took the red-eye, and I haven't had any sleep.”
“Do you want to skip lunch, go home, and take a nap? Or you could go up to your room here. We could go out for dinner and skip that mess bubbling in that pot on the counter.”
“No, I want to do lunch. That seventy-three dollars I won is burning a hole in my pocket. Get your jacket, and let's go. Do you have to tell Charles you're going?”
“You know what, Annie? He won't even know we're gone. He won't be coming up here to check on anything. Like I said, that stupid Crock-Pot does it all.”
“Fergus was a good cook, much better than me. I might have to look into a Crock-Pot.”
Myra rolled her eyes as she slipped into her jacket. The four dogs line up, expectant looks in their eyes. “Nope. You're staying home, guys. Here's a chew. See you in a little while. Do not chew anything else while I'm gone.”
The dogs, as one, looked at Annie, who burst out laughing. “Sorry, guys, I have no jurisdiction here.”
“Hold on, Annie, someone is at the gate. I can't see who it is other than that it's a woman,” Myra said, when the dogs rushed to the door. She eyed the monitor and frowned. “I think . . . it almost looks like Maggie.” Myra pressed a button on the panel by the back door, and the electronic gate swung open. “It is Maggie!”
Myra and Annie followed the mad rush of the dogs to get through the open door. “You wanted some action, Annie! Looks like we just got some. Oh, good Lord, the girl is crying!”
Maggie Spitzer barreled out of the car, stopping to pet each dog before she ran into Myra and Annie's outstretched arms all the while sobbing, as if her heart was breaking.
Back in the kitchen, both Myra and Annie fussed like two mother hens over Maggie, crooning and cooing to their younger charge as they asked questions. Annie moved to make tea, the universal cure-all to everything in life as far as she was concerned. That it never helped was of no consequence. The bottom line was that when someone was in acute distress, you made tea. Tea was the magic elixir to everything. Period. Bottom line.
“Please, Maggie, stop crying. I can't understand a word you're saying. We can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong, dear,” Myra said.
Maggie sniffled, then blew her nose in a wad of paper towels Annie held out. She gulped, took several deep breaths, and blurted out her turmoil in one long, sobbing sentence. Gus Sullivan, her husband, had died ten months ago in Afghanistan when he had been called to help out with a security company.
“Ten months ago!” Annie and Myra cried in unison.
“And you're just telling us
now!
Why?” Myra demanded, as Annie urged the young woman to drink the tea in front of her.