Fool For You (Made for Love Book 4) (72 page)

T
hese days, more times than not, I fall asleep in Judah’s arms. I have a toothbrush that has permeant residency beside his, a travel pouch, filled with all my other necessary toiletries, that has never been used more, and a bag I keep at his place until I need to bring it back home to swap out clothes and do laundry. When we first started dating, I was hesitant to ask him if we could see each other during the middle of the week because he turned me down so frequently—mostly due to his heavy work load. His work load hasn’t changed, but as we each grow more and more accustomed to our relationship, our need for one another supersedes our excuses.

I don’t mind keeping myself busy for the first couple hours of my evening, allowing Judah to stay late at the office before I meet him at his house. He doesn’t mind my presence in his office while he works from home, allowing me to share his space while I occupy myself with a book, my laptop, or my camera. Sometimes he’ll take me out to dinner after work, and a couple times we’ve met up with my friends before we head back to his place.

We don’t always have sex before we fall asleep. Or, rather, he still seems to appreciate my company when I’m on my period and I don’t want to have sex. That’s about the only time that I don’t want to. I tease him about being insatiable, but I swear my body was made for his. He never fails to turn me on—my gorgeous, generous man—and the things he does to me are enough to always leave me wanting more as soon as possible.

All that being said, there are usually one or two nights that we don’t see each other every week. Sometimes a night with my bestie is in order, or he has a business thing he has to attend in Denver. Tonight, it’s both of those things—only, tonight, I’m a little upset about it.

I try to shake off my hurt feelings as I climb out of my car and head for the entrance to Geoff’s condo. Our plans were last minute, as I didn’t know
why
I’d be spending the night alone until I called Harper on my way home from work to say hi. She was busy getting ready for her night out, which I thought was odd—as she usually doesn’t go out on a school night. Then, when she found out
I
wasn’t getting ready myself, I discovered that she’s spending the evening as Ben’s date at a charity event he’s attending. A charity event Judah will be attending.

I knew he had a work thing in Denver tonight, but I didn’t know that he was allowed a date; furthermore, I didn’t know he’d be spending the evening with Ben and Harper. I don’t know what to make of the fact that I wasn’t invited. I understand that he’s going as a representative of Eddalyn’s Interiors, but I don’t understand why he didn’t even
tell
me the details which I just found out.

I thought about calling him, but I was afraid that my attempts to figure out why he’s going without me would turn into a one-sided battle. He’s not one for arguments, so when I imagined how the conversation would go in my head, it ended with him telling me he was going to be late before hanging up on me, only to deal with me later. And since his favorite heated conversations end with his dick doing most of the talking, I also imagined the ways in which he would take me against the wall the next time he saw me.

I’m thinking about it again even now, which makes my cheeks flush as I reach the top of the stairs. I take a deep breath as I walk down the hallway that leads to Geoffrey’s door, wishing I could reign in my emotions better. Now I’m sort of turned on and sort of upset, which is all too confusing.

After knocking on Geoffrey’s door, I wait only a few seconds before testing the handle to see if the it’s unlocked. When I find that it is, I walk right in, setting my things down on the small table just beyond his door. My eyes dance around his sitting room as I slowly make my entrance, taking it all in. It’s not the first time I’ve been over since he redecorated, but every time I come, he’s added a little something here or there. I can tell he’s almost completely finished with this room, and I love it. It’s grey, like Judah’s eyes, with cream linens and dark beige accents. It’s very sophisticated, both warm
and
cool, and totally Geoffrey.

“Freckles? Is that you?” he calls out from another room.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Be out in a sec! If you’re hungry, raid the fridge.”

A half smile plays at my lips, appreciative of his offer, but not at all interested. My appetite is pretty non-existent at the moment. Rather than heading to the kitchen, I kick my shoes off and curl up on the couch, hoping that he’ll come out soon to help save me from my thoughts.

“Uh oh,” he mutters, stopping at the mouth of the hallway as he looks over at me a minute later. He’s changed since I last saw him at work, and he’s wearing a pair of jeans with a plain, white sweater. “Do I need to go search for a bottle of wine? I might have something in the pantry.”

“No,” I sigh, shaking my head at him “I don’t feel like drinking.”

“All right,” he says, rounding the couch to come sit beside me. He pats my thigh as he asks, “What happened?”

I hadn’t meant to waltz right into his place and spill my guts before I had a chance to fully process all that I’ve been feeling since I hung up with Harper, but his question kicks open the floodgates, and I can’t hold back. I sit up, sweeping my hair behind my ears as all the words just start to tumble from my mouth.

“Two weeks ago, Judah was my date at the exhibition. It was a
work
event, but I invited him to come along. I wanted him there. I wanted to share that with him. He’s my boyfriend—boyfriends are meant to attend functions, right?”

“Well—”

“You know what I mean!” I interrupt him, rolling my eyes. Whatever logical answer was about to come out of his mouth is not one that I have the patience to listen to at the moment. “My point is, we’ve reached that stage in our relationship where such things are expected. Except, he went to a work event tonight—one that he could have brought a date to—and he didn’t even
mention
that he had a plus one. And maybe that wouldn’t be such a big deal, but Ben will be there with Harper. I just don’t understand why I wasn’t invited. It’s like he’s ashamed of me or something. Do you know that I haven’t met
one
of his coworkers? Unless you count Eddalyn—which I
don’t
. I haven’t met any of his friends either…though, I’m not sure if he has any. Not really. But that’s beside the point! He should have invited me tonight!”

I finish with a huff, folding my arms across my chest, not caring in the slightest how silly I look as I throw my tantrum. When I look over at Geoffrey to gauge his reaction, I know from the slightly amused expression on his face that I’m not going to like what he has to say.

“He’s not ashamed of you,” he states matter-of-factly. “So he hasn’t introduced you to his co-workers; the only reason he’s met yours is because we happen to be your closest friends. As far as his lack of friends are concerned, yeah—he strikes me as the kind of guy who knows far more acquaintances than friends. He’s not warm and fuzzy, and he spends all his free time with you. When he’s not with you, he’s working. He’s driven by success. People like that tend to isolate themselves. But as for why you’re not with him now, there could be a dozen reasons why he didn’t bring you along.
Shame
certainly isn’t one of them.”

“Okay, then name
one
,” I challenge.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he gibes, tapping at his chin with a finger. “Maybe he can’t network for shit when you’re around, so he decided it was best to leave you at home.”

I narrow my eyes at him, sure that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard him say in a while.

“I call bullshit. He had no trouble chatting up people at the gallery. Your reason sucks.”

“Au contraire, baby girl—my reason is
spot on
. He had no trouble chatting up
your
people. These are
his
people. He’s not there as
your
arm candy, he’s there to work—and he can’t work if he’s too busy keeping tabs on every dick in the room, making sure they don’t stare at your pretty ass all night.”

“What? He doesn’t do that.”

“Bull-fucking-shit, he doesn’t. He was doing it all night. The only reason you didn’t notice is because you were too busy basking in all of his territorial attention. Don’t get me wrong—” he continues, holding up a hand as I open up my mouth to argue. “You’re cute as a button when you’re all twitter-pated, and he’s fine as hell—I’d be the same way if I were in your shoes; but that doesn’t make it any less true. He was pissing all over you at the exhibition, and he can’t piss and work at the same time.”

I wrinkle my nose at him, not incredibly fond of the image he just put in my head; and yet, I feel slightly relieved at hearing his defense of Judah.
Slightly…

As if he senses my hesitation, he says, “That man loves you. No way in hell is he ashamed of you.”

Now
that
knocks the wind out of me.

I sag back against the couch, willing myself not to latch onto his observation. In the end, it’s only just that. Geoffrey might
think
he has a good grasp on my boyfriend, but after the four months that I’ve known him, even I understand that he’s a mystery I might not ever completely solve. I shake my head at Geoff, wishing he was right, but with no proof to convince myself that maybe he is.

“He doesn’t.”

“And you’re sure of this, why?”

“Because he hasn’t said so.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I—”

“No,” I insist, clenching my fists in an attempt to keep myself from covering up my ears like a child. I don’t need anyone telling me how he
looks
at me. I know how he
looks
at me. It’s not the same as saying the words. “If he loved me, he would tell me. I give him the chance every day. Every day I tell him I love him, and every day, he doesn’t repeat the words back at me.”

“Then why do you tell him?” Geoff asks, appearing genuinely curious and not at all judgmental.

“Because…” I lift my shoulders in a feeble shrug, not sure that he’ll understand my reasons why. I’m not sure anyone would, not when they don’t know Judah like I do. “It’s just important that I tell him,” I admit. “It’s important that he doesn’t think I’ve changed my mind.”

“Oh-
kay
,” he says, dragging out the word. I turn my head, not wishing to bear witness to the thoughts I’m sure to see in his eyes. He doesn’t let me off the hook that easily, though. Instead, he reaches over and places his heavy hand on my knee before he speaks once more.

“Even the toughest of men lack the bravery of vulnerability.”

I let his words seep into me, repeating them over and over. As the seconds pass by, I realize that he makes a good point. Sheepishly, I bring my gaze up to meet his, and he offers me a lopsided smile.

“Don’t make up reasons why tonight turned out the way it did, Teddy. He deserves a fair trial. And as for his feelings for you—well, if you haven’t changed your mind, there’s a reason for that, too.”

I study my best friend, pinching my bottom lip with my fingers as I try and figure out how my ally ended up defending someone other than me.

“I didn’t know you were such an advocate for
team Judah
,” I say, dropping my hand into my lap.

“I’m not, baby girl. I’m team Teddy, all day. But it’s
because
I’m team Teddy that I can’t let you get all tangled in a web of lies, spun by your own insecurities. Take it from me—he’s not going to get it right all the time. Neither are you.”

I draw in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, wishing that Geoff had given me at least
one
minute to bitch and moan. Yet, at the same time, I’m grateful that he loves me enough to not allow my brain to wander where my heart doesn’t belong. I shift in my seat and rest my head against his shoulder as I think about Judah.

Geoff is right about so many things. No matter how sensitive I’m feeling today, or how much Judah’s actions have hurt my feelings, that doesn’t mean he did it on purpose or that it’s a negative reflection of what I mean to him. What we share is intimate, genuine, and
real
. Regardless of what Jude may or may not be saying, his actions have proved over and over that I
belong
to him. One night—one party doesn’t change everything we’ve built.

“I suppose there are perks to being friends with someone who is even older and wiser than your older and wiser boyfriend. Your looking glass is much clearer than mine.”

“Hey,” he grunts. “Are you calling me
old?
”

I giggle, snuggling into his side. “Can we watch a movie? I promise I won’t stay too late.”

“Oh, so now I’m
old
with an
old man’s
bed time?”

“Stop!” I laugh, moving to kiss his cheek. “You’re not old. You’re fabulous.
Speaking
of fabulous—it’d be
fabulous
if we enjoyed our movie with some popcorn. Have some?”

“Yeah, baby girl, I’ve got some. I’ll pop the corn, you pick the movie?”

I nod enthusiastically, jumping up from the couch to dig through his movie collection while I shove all thoughts of Judah into the back of my mind.