Flat-Out Love (36 page)

“Wow. I haven’t seen that in years. When Matt was a kid, rocks and minerals fascinated him. He was actively involved in the Boston Minerals Club.”

Of course he was
. Julie felt that same twinge of wistfulness that hit her more than she liked to admit. She knew Matt so well that it hurt.

“I used to take him on weekend outings with the club,” Roger said. “We’d go on hikes in New Hampshire and Vermont. Once to the Berkshires. And the kids would dig and whatnot, looking for rocks. All little boys love that stuff, but Matthew in particular. He kept copious notes about his findings and made charts and graphs that he kept in a binder. Rock and mineral-wise, this is not a terribly exciting part of the country to live in. Nonetheless, Matt held out hope that he would find that special
item. And God love him, he did.” Roger pointed to her necklace. “That’s a fragment of purpurite. Not the sexiest-sounding mineral, I guess, but Matt was over the moon when he collected this. He wouldn’t let anyone touch it, and he kept that thing in a locked display case for years.” He tipped his head to the side. “I can’t believe he parted with that. You mean something very special to him, Julie.”

She looked down and squeezed her hand around the necklace.

“Look, this is none of my business, and I don’t know exactly what happened this year, but I know something fell apart between you two. I’ve tried to talk to him about it…Well, you know Matt. He has a hard time opening up. I do know a bit about him posing as Finn online.” He held up his hand to stop Julie from interrupting him. “I agree. It was a seriously peculiar thing to do, and it wasn’t right. However ticked off you may be about that, I hope you can appreciate the lengths he went to in order to keep your attention.”

Julie looked up. “I guess.”

“Can you imagine how much time he spent doctoring all those pictures? Inventing new volunteer opportunities? And when he sent Celeste the package, the poor guy had to track down an old friend overseas, mail the package there, and have that person mail it back to the house so that it would have the right postage. Not to mention all the work it must have taken to keep his stories straight.” He smiled. “Come on, Julie. Effort has to count for something.”

“This has been hard on me,” she said. “I feel stupid saying that, considering what your family has been through, but—”

Roger stopped her. “You’re allowed to feel the way you do. Matt was an idiot. And maybe you have other reasons for holding back. Reasons that don’t have to do with Matthew.”

“I don’t know what to trust…whom to trust.”

Roger tipped his head to the side. “Look, Finn was good with all this girl stuff. He was cool and suave and…magnetic. He was
absolutely magnetic
. But Matthew is exceptional too, just in a different way. It must have been rough competing with Finn before, and now that Finn is gone, it’s probably even worse for him. You can’t beat out memories of the dead. Sweetheart, Matt is not the smoothest of young men, but his heart was in the right place.” Roger patted her hand. “Aw, Julie. Matt’s execution might have been disastrous, but don’t forget about his heart.”

Images from the past year flashed through Julie’s head: Matt picking her up in front of the nonapartment. Explaining font nerds. Reluctantly taking her to buy hinges for Flat Finn. Trading e-mails about possible snow sculptures. Lying under the tree. Arguing, bantering, defending his silly T-shirts. The hours spent hanging out in his room. She thought about how he had held her when she had come out of the freezing ocean. And that night after Celeste’s sleepover, touching her tenderly in his bed. How he looked when he finally poured his feelings out. The way it felt just to be near him. The way the world stopped when he kissed her.

And that’s when she knew. Julie looked at Roger and smiled. She felt whole for the first time in weeks.

Matthew Watkins
When I screw up, I’m just going to think of it as the group disbanding. And by “the group” I mean “brain function.” And by “disbanding” I mean “failing miserably.”

Julie Seagle
“The best way to hold a man is in your arms.”—Mae West

Celeste Watkins
thinks the expression should be, “Free to be you OR me,” because “Free to be you AND me” makes one think of a dissociative identity disorder
.

Her heart was pounding uncontrollably. Julie had to muster every scrap of courage she had just to ring the bell. She was on time for the party, but she hoped that she wasn’t too late for the most important thing.

Erin opened the door. “You’re here! Look at you! You look wonderful!”

Julie leaned in for a hug, smiling at Erin’s typically awkward embrace. “It’s a big day, huh?”

“A long overdue day. Come on, we’re all in the backyard.” Erin waited for Julie to step into the house. “Well, come on. Don’t be shy. This is practically your house too.”

Julie forced her feet to move.
Breathe, breathe, breathe
.

They walked to the dining room. A platter with bagels and spreads sat in the center of the table underneath a mass of balloons, and ribbons had been tied to the backs of the chairs. The room was lighter and cheerier than Julie had ever seen it.

“Tell me about your summer, Julie. You and I have barely seen each other in months, and I don’t like not knowing what’s going on with you. And have you registered for fall classes yet? I’d be honored to look over your course options with you.” She pulled out a chair. “Here, sit down. Coffee?”

Julie nodded. She spent twenty minutes trying her best to pay attention to Erin’s advice about the upcoming semester. She had missed Erin and was so happy to see how engaged and genuinely cheerful she was. But her mind was elsewhere.

Celeste bounded into the room and practically toppled her with a hug. “Why is it that nobody told me you had arrived? Oh my gosh! Are these for me?”

Julie nodded and handed her a massive bouquet of flowers. “Congratulations, pal. I know this day means a lot to you. It does to me too.”

“I’m going to find out if Roger is ready,” Erin said. “He has been in the basement for two hours, and the house is still sweltering.” She fanned herself with her hand as she left the room. “August in Boston never fails to infuriate me.”

“My dad is fiddling with the AC system,” Celeste explained. “Don’t go near him until he has finished because he’s not very adept and has already given himself two minor shocks. Did you see Matt yet? He’s hiding in the backyard. I think he’s nervous.”

“Join the club.”

Celeste touched Julie’s arm. “Do not be nervous, Julie. This is going to work out marvelously. I believe in you. Both of you.”

“We’ll see.”

Julie went through the kitchen and out through the back door to the porch.

He was there. Out on the lawn, standing with his back to her, his hands tucked into his shorts pockets. He looked amazing. Everything about him pulled her in. Julie touched her palm to her chest, reminding herself again to breathe, to calm down. “Matt.”

Matt turned around hesitantly and gave her a shy wave. He had on the same
Nietzsche Is My Homeboy
shirt that he’d worn the day she met him. It was exactly as it should be.

“Matty!” She called his name louder this time, wondering if he could hear the relief she felt at seeing him. She ran down the steps, needing him more than she could ever have imagined. It had been a long summer of heartache, but at least she finally knew whom her heart had been aching for.

She couldn’t reach him fast enough.

Matt rushed forward and caught her as she flew into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. It had been so long since she had been close to him. Too long.

“Julie.” There was nothing more wonderful than the way he said her name. How had she never noticed that? “What’s wrong? Are you OK?” She heard his confusion and concern.

She laughed as she hung on to Matt. “I am now.”

She sniffed, aware that she’d become a blubbering mess in an instant. But that’s what love does to you. Gut-wrenching, overpowering, crushing, fulfilling, complex, bring-you-to-your-knees love.

“I missed you,” she whispered into his ear. And she had. His voice, his touch, the way he moved…everything about him.

“Yeah?” he asked softly.

“Yes. So much.”

He held her close while she rested her head on his shoulder and ran her hands over his back, neither of them willing to let the other go. And with the way they were glued to each other, she knew that this was not like the last time they had been this close. This was not good-bye.

“I’m so sorry. It was always you,” she said.

“What?” he murmured.

She lifted her head and pressed her cheek against his. “It was always you. I thought it was somebody else, but it was you. You were the person I felt.”

Julie heard him catch his breath, and she dropped her feet to the ground, keeping her body against his. Matt put his hands on her hips, pulling her in more. God, he felt so perfect. Then his lips were on hers, kissing her hard, passionately. Differently than before. No more pretending, no more denying, no more sadness. His fingers moved just under the bottom of her shirt, lightly brushing her lower back, and then her waist was in his hands. His grip was firm, solid, comforting. God, the feel of his hands against her skin…He kissed her neck, his lips soft, his tongue hot, and his breathing picking up. She whimpered quietly. He was such a guy, totally picking the worst time ever to get them all riled up.
Later
, she told herself.
Later they could be alone
.

Julie forced herself to back away ever so slightly. “Come on. We’re going to have an audience soon.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him behind her, determined not to let go of him again. “And we’re leaving in an hour.”

“I could make a lot of things happen in an hour,” Matt offered.

Julie spun around and raised an eyebrow as she walked backward. “I bet you could.” He was making it tempting to take
off with him, but this day was important. “I promise you’ll have that chance. But for now, we have to go eat. You, Celeste, Flat Finn, and I are leaving together. We have someplace to be.”

“We do?”

“Yes.” She couldn’t stop smiling.

“I thought Flat Finn was being assigned attic duty for the rest of his existence?”

“Plans change.”

“So we don’t get to sneak off somewhere and fool around?” Matt groaned.

“Not yet.”

“These better be some damn good plans.”

“Look, this blindfold thing is really starting to creep me out. I don’t know when you became a dominatrix, Julie, but my sister is in the car, so it hardly seems appropriate to be demonstrating your specialized skills in front of her.” Matt reached to pull off the blindfold that Julie had tied over his eyes.

“Don’t you dare!” Celeste leaned into the front seat of the Volvo and smacked Matt’s hand. “Behave yourself. This is a good surprise.”

“Are we almost there yet? I’m hungry,” Matt said. “I need to pee. I’m bored. How much longer? Let’s play
I Spy
. Oh, wait. I can’t. I’m blindfolded. This is the worst trip ever!”

“Matt, shut up!” Julie pulled into the far right lane on the highway, keeping her hand in Matt’s. “Only one more exit, and then we’ll be there. This will be worth the two-hour drive. Trust us.”

“When you say
worth
, do you mean there will be cash incentives involved? Apple is having a press conference in a few
days, and I’m sure they’ll be releasing some wildly unnecessary gadget that I need.”

“Celeste, make your brother behave,” Julie said.

“The fact that you are still holding his hand after he has been persistently annoying during this whole drive indicates to me that he is now equally
your
problem. I am going to enjoy this scenic drive and let you manage Matty’s irritating outbursts.”

“Great.” Julie sighed dramatically. “Lengthy bouts of obtuse chatter interspersed with moments of mind-numbingly boring trivia about the history of the Internet. It’s a tradeoff for the occasional bits of charm, I suppose,” Julie admitted. “But one that I’ll just have to live with.”

“I’m still here!” Matt hollered. “I can hear you talking about me. I have feelings, you know!” He faked a sob and sniffed loudly.

“I’ll make a note of that,” Julie said.

“Oh, Julie, there’s the sign,” Celeste said. “We’re here! This is the perfect send-off for Flat Finn. The real Finn would approve. You will too, Matty.”

Julie pulled the car into the parking lot. “Guess where we are?”

“Yosemite? The Grand Canyon?” Matt said. “Vegas? Oh my God, we’re in Vegas, aren’t we? Is Celine Dion here? Cher? Are we going backstage? No, it’s the Liberace Museum. I can feel it. It’s a dream come true! I’ve waited my whole life for this.”

“That is ridiculous, Matt,” Celeste scolded. “We are not in Las Vegas. Try harder.”

“Disney World? The Mall of America? Pike Place Fish Market? Graceland?”

“It’s flattering that he thinks we’re lame enough to subject him to a tourist trap, isn’t it? Celeste, he’ll never figure it out,” Julie said. “Let’s show him.” She slid the blindfold off his eyes
and watched him. He adjusted to the light and read the sign in front of the car.