“Slow down, Matt!” Julie said hoarsely. “You’re going to get a ticket.”
“I’ll drive as fast as I want. The quicker we get you home, the quicker you can warm up.”
“Why don’t you just take me back to Dana’s? Turn left up here.”
“Is that where you’ve been staying?” He shook his head, looking exasperated with her. “No. I am not taking you back to Dana’s. Who knows what other trouble you’ll get yourself into?”
“Matt! I can stay wherever I want to. I’m an adult.”
“You’re not acting like it.”
“Why do you care where I stay?”
“Ah, a lovers’ quarrel,” Celeste said dreamily from the back seat.
“Shut up!” Julie and Matt yelled together.
Trying to ignore his driving for the rest of the ride home was the only thing keeping her sane right now. God, he was so grouchy sometimes. Temperamental. She couldn’t keep up with his moods.
He pulled into the driveway and opened her door, moving to help her get out.
“I can walk just fine,” she said, although her legs were noticeably shaking. She batted him away.
“Forgive me for not wanting you to collapse on the pavement,” he said.
Julie shuffled behind him and Celeste as they walked up the front steps and watched Matt struggle with the finicky front lock. “Wait a minute.” She turned back to the car and then looked at Celeste. “Where’s Flat Finn?”
Matt froze and also turned to his sister.
Celeste clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh! He’s in the car.” She started to walk back down the steps and stopped.
Julie looked at Matt and saw it register with him too. “No, Celeste,” he said softly. “He’s not.” The surprise in his voice was obvious. “Flat Finn is not in the car. We forgot.”
Celeste kept her back to them and squeezed her hands.
Matt continued. “We left the house so fast that we forgot.”
“I never forget.
Never
,” she said.
Julie shivered. She realized that Celeste had not only left the house, but had gone all the way to South Boston, gathered Julie from the beach, and returned home. All without Flat Finn. And all in a more relaxed—and even joyous—state than Julie had ever seen her. “Celeste, I don’t think you forgot. I think you didn’t need him today.”
“That is not
fair
to him!”
Matt moved toward his sister, but Julie grabbed his arm. She didn’t want him to rescue her again. “Kiddo? You can take a day off when you want. So can he. It’s not a big deal. Some things you need to do without him.”
“Besides, it’s sleeting and awful out today.” He was clearly trying hard to sound nonchalant. “He would have hated the trip.”
Celeste unclenched her fists. “I imagine that he would have.”
“Speaking of sleet, you need to come in the house, Celeste.” Matt got the door lock to open. “Or I’ll have
two
icicle girls to attend to.”
Celeste whipped around, her long blond curls sparkling from the sleet. “We wouldn’t want to overwhelm you, now, would we? Two feeble, dim-witted females such as Julie and I couldn’t possibly take care of our delicate bodies. We might have to be carried to the fainting room and revived with smelling salts.” She walked back up the stairs and into the house.
Matt looked at Julie, dumbfounded. “Did she just roll her eyes at me?”
“Yes,” she said, pleased. “Yes, she did.”
“Why don’t you go take a hot shower, and I’ll start a fire.”
Thirty minutes later Julie was bundled up in long underwear and fleece. She scooted closer to the fireplace and stuck her toes as near to the heat as she could without igniting her socks. Matt jabbed a log with an iron poker, sending sparks flying.
“Thanks for the soup,” Julie said.
“I’m gifted with a can opener. What can I say?”
“Still. Thank you. And for the water and the orange juice. I feel a little better.”
“Good. I’ll order dinner tonight from that Vietnamese place you like. You’ll be back to normal in no time.”
“The fire feels nice. How come you guys don’t light more? You have all these beautiful fireplaces in the house.”
He threw another log onto the already high flames. “Mom doesn’t like the smell much. Since she’s not here, I thought I’d take advantage. The house will air out by the time she gets back.”
“Where are your parents? They can’t be working today.”
“They went up to Stowe for a few days. Vermont. We have a house there,” he explained.
“They didn’t bring you and Celeste,” she said softly.
He shook his head. “No, they did not. What about you? What happened with your father and California?”
“He canceled the trip. And then he blew me off for dinner last night.”
“I can’t believe you spent Christmas alone. Why didn’t you tell us? You should have stayed here. My parents are going to be furious with you.”
Julie shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s embarrassing. Don’t tell Erin and Roger, please? And Finn. Especially don’t tell him.”
“Julie, you kind of already told him. I think you have brain damage from that dip in the Atlantic.”
“Oh. I did, didn’t I?” Julie reached behind her and grabbed a pillow so she could lie down. “How did Finn know where I was?”
“I don’t know. He said something about a song. That all you need is the water. Then something about freeing yourself. Finn insisted that while you wouldn’t skydive, you might do something like hurl yourself into the Atlantic to prove a point. So I got my mission. As I’ve said before, I just follow orders around here.”
So much for her cryptic quote. She propped herself up on her arm. “I might skydive.”
“Sure you would.”
“I
might
,” she insisted and flopped back down. “With the right person. Depends what you mean by
skydive
.”
Matt laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothin’. Hey, Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry your parents left you here alone. That’s not very nice.”
Matt jabbed the fire with an iron poker. “No, it’s not very nice, is it? And I’m sorry your dad left
you
alone. That’s also not very nice.”
“Thanks.” Julie closed her eyes. She was exhausted.
“Tired, huh? Why don’t you sleep for a while?”
She heard Matt get up to draw the curtains and then felt him cover her with a wool blanket.
Matt is so consistently inconsistent
, she thought sleepily.
He is always catching me and wrapping me up, and then being evasive and annoying me and then feeding me soup, and then snapping, and then talking about fonts and equations
…It was hard to think anymore.
Julie yawned. “Did you call Dana?”
“Not yet. I will.”
The heat from the fire warmed her face. “Thanks for getting me, Matty. I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
“Of course. It’s not a problem.”
Julie wasn’t sure, but as the fatigue took over and pulled her into unconsciousness, she thought she felt a hand gently brush the hair from her face. And she thought she heard someone whisper lyrics about being broken, running too far, following the wheels that make your heart move, riding the wave…
But she was probably already dreaming. Because even though she could feel him, Finn wasn’t here with her.
Matthew Watkins
was a prototype release only available to developers and had a very buggy pre release cerebral subsystem. Also, no bladder controls
.
Finn Is God
I hope that someday they invent a car that runs on inappropriate thoughts
.
Julie Seagle
thinks that when you comment on NPR’s Facebook updates, you should use some semblance of grammar and punctuation. But maybe I’m just a bitch
.
Julie carried glasses and a pitcher of lemonade outside, joining Roger, Matt, and Celeste on the front porch. “
More
hinges? Is Flatty auditioning for Cirque du Soleil?”
“It’s quite possible that Flat Finn could now be folded up into a wallet,” Roger said. He stood up and pointed at the new hinges that were shining brightly on Flat Finn’s ankles. “I don’t think there is room for any more. We’ve done all the other joints. What do you think, Celeste?”
Celeste was lounging in a wicker chair, her head tilted back and her eyes closed as she took in the April sunshine. Slowly, she lifted up a bit and peered over. “You’re right. This may be
as many as he can handle. He
is
already rather accordion-like, isn’t he?” She dropped her head back down.
Roger looked at Julie and whispered, “I have the feeling
someone
isn’t so invested in
someone else
anymore.”
“I can hear you,” Celeste said. “I am decidedly invested. Oh, the mail is here.” She leapt from her seat and ran down the front steps.
Roger stared at his daughter as she bounded away. “She looks so…old. Does she look old to you, Matthew?”
Matt poured a glass of lemonade. “Yes. I’m fairly sure that I saw wrinkles on her sagging jowls. Also, she’s been downing the Geritol. We should look into a nursing home for her.”
“Matthew, relax. She looks good. I think her outfit is wretched, though.” Roger frowned. “But I’m supposed to think that. Right, Julie?”
Julie nodded. “Yes, you are. Fathers should hate what their teenage daughters are wearing.”
“Mission accomplished,” he said somewhat despairingly. “The too-short skirt and those dreadful earrings are your doing?”
“Guilty.”
Roger shook his head with acceptance and took a seat on the steps.
Celeste returned with the mail, tossed it onto the small table, and plopped back onto the cushioned chair. “My
Seventeen
arrived. I don’t care for the horoscopes or quizzes, or truthfully, most of the articles, but I do enjoy the suggested fashion pieces.”
Julie sat down next to Celeste so the two could debate shoe styles and prom updos. Celeste looked radiant and, for her, relaxed. Something had changed over the past few months. It was subtle, but Julie saw differences.
Matt scowled as he rooted through the mail. “Are you two honestly concerned with that stuff?”
Julie glared at him. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s not as if coveting the perfect pair of strappy sandals negates our interest in political and social concerns, does it, Celeste?”
“Ooooh! Look at her hair!” Celeste pointed to a picture. “Do you think you could do that to mine? I find that
very
flattering. And, no, Matthew. I agree with Julie.”
“You’re smart,” he said. “You don’t need all that.”
“Yes, I know. I’m the smart girl. My identity has been overtaken by that label, and perhaps I would like to be seen as something other than ‘the smart girl.’”
Julie smiled at Matt. “So
there
.”
Celeste looked up. “I apologize. I don’t intend to be rude, Matty. But you are not a girl, and you do not understand the societal pressures that someone my age must contend with.”
“Contractions,” Julie reminded Celeste with a singsong tone.
“Oh, yes. Right. Sorry. Anyway, attractiveness is probably just a social construct, but succumbing to selected norms is not always a negative move. Julie, for instance, is a good example of someone who is both highly intelligent
and
socially skilled.”
“Fine.” Matt frowned at a pink envelope. He looked furtively at Celeste, who was now buried back in her magazine, and crossed the porch.
Julie watched as he opened the envelope, scanned a card, and started to tuck it between pages of a store flyer.
“What’s that?” Julie asked loudly.
“What? Nothing. Junk mail.”
“No, it’s not. What is that?” Julie got up and marched over to him. “You do not get letters in pink envelopes, so hand it over.”
“Julie!” he hissed.
“Matt!” she hissed back.
She snatched the card from his hands. The envelope was addressed to Celeste, and the card was an invitation to a birthday party, a sleepover the following weekend.
“Hey, Celeste! You got invited to a party. For Rachel. Is she in your class?”
“Julie!” Matt grabbed the card back. “Don’t!”
Celeste let the magazine fall into her lap. “I did? She invited me?”
“She did?” Roger turned around and looked at his daughter.
“Yes, she did. Everyone can stop acting so ridiculously flabbergasted. Here.” Again, Julie swiped the card from Matt and handed it to Celeste.
Celeste looked intently at the invitation, her mouth beginning to form a wistful smile. But then she set it down on the table. “That was incredibly generous of Rachel to invite me. She’s been awfully nice to me. I can’t go, of course.”
“Why not? Go to the party,” Julie insisted. “Have fun, hang out, eat cake, gossip.”
Roger stood up. “Julie, this might not be—”
“Celeste, do you want to go?”
“We can’t consider that an option, can we?” She glanced at Flat Finn.
“It’s OK.” Roger waved Celeste up from her seat. “Why don’t you come inside with me? I want to show you the results from that study I did on combating the spread of harmful algae.”
Celeste didn’t look at Julie as she got up and handed over the invitation. “Please don’t worry about this. I understand that it would not work.”
Fuming, Julie crossed her arms. Celeste’s demeanor had changed, and she no longer looked relaxed. This was Matt and Roger’s fault entirely.
Matt put his hands in his pockets and looked down. “I know what you’re going to say.”
“Do you? Do you really? Goddamn it, Matt! How could you do this to her?”
He looked up, surprised. “Do what?”
She sighed. “Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? You’re setting her up for failure. She knew you hid that invitation from her, and that told her you don’t believe in her.”
“She knew it because you made a spectacle out of it. She can’t go. You know that. That’s why I didn’t want her to see the invitation. It’s just another reminder of something that she’s not ready for.”
“Maybe you’re the one who isn’t ready? Maybe your parents aren’t ready? Huh? You mother had her wearing fricking pinafores, for God’s sake, until I took the kid to the mall!”
“Shhh! Stop yelling!” Matt warned. “This is not your decision.”