Fire on Ice (Fire on Ice Series) (15 page)

I drew little circles on his glorious abs with my fingers as I continued. “Why do you want to stay now?”

He lifted my chin so that he could see my eyes. “Because this is different. Because you’re different.”

“Different how?”
I challenged.

He swallowed. “There’s nowhere else I want to be but with you.”

I smiled. “I feel the same way about you,” I admitted.

“Why?” he challenged.

I thought about it for a few seconds. It sounded stupid to say that I felt like we belonged together or that there was a connection between us that was beyond explanation even though both were true. “For the last three years, I’ve felt like I haven’t really been living. I built a wall around myself so thick no one could get through. And that’s the way I wanted it. That’s how I felt safe. But that all changed when I met you. I started to feel alive again. And I feel safe with you.”

“I want you to feel safe,”
Kian assured me as he pulled me close. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you. I promise.”

I lay my head on his chest. He felt so warm and I did feel safe in his arms. It was one of the only places I felt protected. And I felt like it was exactly where I belonged.

After a moment, Kian said, “There’s only one thing that scares me.”

“What’s that?” I prodded.

He ran his fingers through my hair for a moment before he responded. “That you’ll realize you’re too good for me and find someone else.”

“Why do you put yourself down like that?” I was sad that he didn’t realize that there was no one else for me but him.

“I guess when you spend your whole life being put down by other people it becomes a habit. When I was a kid, my mom had a parade of guys go through the house and every one of them was meaner and more abusive than the one before him. They loved to tell me what a no good piece of shit I was and my mom was always too drunk or high to do anything about it. One of the things my coaches always said they liked about me is that I could take any kind of abuse on the ice and still do what needed to be done. They didn’t know it was because I got the hell beat out of me by my mom’s boyfriends from the time I can remember until I was a teenager when I
just stayed out of the house. By then, my mom was so used up and worn out she had a hard time attracting men anyway.”

I didn’t know what to say or how to respond. I had a feeling that
Kian’s life was difficult but I had no idea it was that difficult. When I looked up at him, his expression was somber and his eyes were far away.

I placed my hand on his cheek and it seemed to snap him out of whatever state he was in. “Hey, look at me.”

As soon as his eyes met mine, they completely softened and the sparkle returned to them. “I love you.” The words seemed to come directly from my heart and out of my mouth without being filtered through my brain. If I had stopped to think about it, I probably wouldn’t have said it even though it’s how I felt.

When I saw tears streaming down
Kian’s face, I thought I may have made a terrible mistake. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe I should have waited for him to say it first.

Then he pulled me into a tight embrace and just held me. “No one has ever said those words to me before,” he said quietly.

“No one?” I said surprised. I looked into his eyes and the pain I saw there took my breath away.

He shook his head. “I didn’t think I was worthy of being loved.”

I could feel my heart twist in my chest. How could any human being never be loved? It was difficult for me to comprehend.

“I love you,
Kian,” I repeated. “And you are worthy of love. You’re worthy of my love.”

Kian
pressed his lips into mine and kissed me with so much need and so much want, I was overtaken with emotion. He kissed me so wildly and hungrily, I was nearly dizzy with his desire for me.

“I want you,”
Kian growled. “I need to be inside you.”

The first time we had sex he was gentle and cautious, this time it felt like he wanted to completely and totally possess me. I felt like he wanted to make sure we both knew that I was his and only his. He might not be able to say what he felt but he was going to show me with his actions.

He reached down and grabbed a condom from his jean’s pocket. I was a little embarrassed that he had brought a supply of them with him but also thankful.

Kian
didn’t waste any time putting his mouth on my nipples and nipping and sucking on them until they were standing at attention. His hand found its way between my legs and as soon as he inserted his fingers, I could feel how wet with desire I already was.

“Oh, Princess,” he moaned. “You’re ready for me.”

“Yes,” I muttered dreamy with desire.

“Tell me that you’re mine,” he ordered.

“I’m yours,” I replied. “You and only you.”

His mouth crashed into mine again and I felt like he was tr
ying to devour me. Then he reached for the condom and quickly tore into the package. As he placed the condom on his erection, it seemed to be even larger and harder that the last time. It was a little disarming.

As he thrust himself into me, I gasped at the force and inte
nsity behind his actions. I felt like his singular goal was to claim me—to own me. His thrusts were hard and deep and I cried out at the mixture of slight pain and intense pleasure.

“Oh,
Kian,” I yelled as he continued in his quest to make me his.

The feelings, the emotions, the sensations as he pumped hi
mself into me were almost too raw and too intense. I nearly got lost in them.

When I felt my muscles clench around his erection, I cried out. He made a few more deep thrusts then went over the edge with me.

Then we both lay in a heap on the bed, completely spent. After he removed the condom and cleaned himself up, he returned to the bed and pulled me into his arms. He held me close and I nestled snugly against him until we both fell asleep.

***

I awakened to the sound of pounding on my door. In my sleepy fog, it took me a moment to realize why I couldn’t get up from the bed. Kian had his arms and legs wrapped around me like a vice.

As the pounding continued and
Kian didn’t awaken, I wasn’t sure what to do. “Kian,” I said loudly. “Kian!”

He was obviously an incredibly sound sleeper. Not that the physical exertion of the night before didn’t completely knock me out, too.

As I tried to wriggle free from Kian’s stronghold, he moaned. “No, don’t go.”

“
Kian,” I replied. “There’s someone pounding on the door.”

It took a moment for this to register and
Kian finally released his tight grip on me. I jumped from the bed and threw on a tee shirt and a pair of shorts. When I looked out the peephole and saw it was my sister, I sighed. She could have called first.

I looked back and saw that
Kian was still sprawled on the bed completely naked. “Kian, would you put some clothes on? My sister’s at the door.”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied as he rolled from the bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He threw his clothes on, which were a bit wrinkled and it seemed obvious he had spent the night.
Well, of course he did
. What other reason would he have to be here at nine in the morning?

And an even better question was what my sister was doing here at nine
o’clock? She never rolled out of the bed before noon on a good day.

I opened the door a crack and my sister narrowed her eyes. “Why won’t you let me in?”

When I didn’t immediately respond, she gave me a cat-who-ate-the-canary smile. “You’ve got a guy in there, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” I teased.

She got closer to me and whispered. “Is it that hunky hockey player?”

Unfortunately, my sister’s only whisper is a stage whisper, so everyone in the entire wing could probably hear her as well as
Kian.

“It
is
the hunky hockey player,” Kian exclaimed as he came up behind me and put his arms around me.

Since the cat was out of the proverbial bag, I opened the door the rest of the way and my sister barged in. She looked
Kian up and down as I shut the door behind her.

“Yup,” she said. “Just as hunky as I remember him.”

Kian kissed the top of my head affectionately.

“And still completely and totally into you,” she continued. “The two of you take cuteness to an entirely new level. I actually think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

Now I was the one frowning at her. “Very funny.”

Today, my sister was dressed in what looked like disco clothes from the 1970s. “Please tell me you’re wearing a costume for a new show.”

My sister laughed. “No. My new show takes place in 2023. But that’s not why I’m here.” My sister’s face seemed to hold a bit of worry that I wasn’t used to seeing.

“What’s wrong?” I blurted before she had a chance to go on.

“Maybe you’d better sit down.”

That sent a wave of anxiety through my body and
Kian reacted my pulling me even closer and tighter.

“What’s going on?”
Kian asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.

Zelda took in a deep breath. “Okay, don’t freak out.

When people qualify what they’re going to say with:
don’t freak out
, it’s usually time to
completely
freak out.

“Maybe I should sit down.” Zelda looked like she was turning pale with anxiety.

“Would you please tell us what’s going on?” I insisted.

Zelda sat down on my desk chair. “I was at a cast party last night. It was pretty lame. No one had any pot. It was a beer only kind of thing.”

“Please get to the point,” I begged.

“Fine,” Zelda huffed. “The
point
is that Blake was there and he was saying a lot of stuff about you. Scary kinds of stuff bordering on stalker-ish.”

“What specifically did he say?”
Kian probed.

Zelda swallowed. “It was obvious he knew where you lived because he said he knew someone who lived a few suites down. So he must have
Googled you. And I’m sure you can guess what else he found when he Googled you.”

My stomach clenched and I suddenly felt nauseated. “What else did he say?” I demanded. She looked uncomfortable, which was unusual for my sister who rarely had a problem saying anything to anyone.

“Remember what I said about not freaking out,” she warned. She pointed at Kian. “And that goes for you, too.”

“Just tell me,” I pleaded.

“He said he saw the video. He was bragging about it. Telling everyone what a
hot little piece of ass
you were and how he had to
give you a go
.”

Kian
grabbed me so tight, I gasped. I could feel every muscle in his body tense.

“
Kian,” I said. “It’s going to be okay.”

He relaxed his muscles a bit and let me go. Then he started pacing around my small suite. “It’s not okay, Princess. I want to kill that fucking son of a bitch.”

I stood in front of Kian and placed my hand on his chest. I looked up at him and when his eyes met mine, they immediately softened. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I made you a promise,” he said. “I intend to keep it.”

“He just talked a lot of crap about me. So what? It’s not anything I haven’t heard a million times before.”

“Did he actually call you Princess?” my sister interjected.

I turned toward her. “Yes, why?”

“Did you like it?” she scoffed.

“It’s a term of endearment. Of course I like it.”

“There it goes again. A little bit of puke.
Right in my mouth.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Do you think Blake is dangerous?” Kian asked my sister.

She shrugged. “I don’t know him that well. But he does come across as an entitled prick
who always gets his way.”

Kian’s
brow furrowed and he looked like he was mulling it over. Then he said, “I don’t want you walking to class alone.”

“You can’t walk me to all my classes,
Kian. You have practice and you’re on the road for some of your games.”

His jaw clenched. “I have to make sure you’re safe.”

I touched his chest again and his features softened. “I know protecting me is important to you but your hockey career is more important.”

He grabbed my arms and pulled me close, his eyes burning into mine. “Nothing is more important than you.”

“Your hockey career is important to me and it’s important to me that you do well.”

He looked like he wanted to say more but he refrained. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips instead.