Fire In His Eyes (28 page)

She answered the phone
on the third ring, and I was relieved to hear her voice.  I hoped I hadn’t woken her, but I was a woman on a mission.

“Hi Kat, it’s me, Monica,
is Victor there?”  I asked in a rush to find out what was going on.

“Yeah, he is
here, but . . .” her voice trailed out in confusion.

“But what?”  I cut her off.

“He’s sl-sleeping,” she informed me.  “What’s the matter, you sound like you are panicking over something. Are you okay?” she asked, her worry clearly apparent.

I rushed right in. “I
t’s just that I tried his cell phone twice, and when he didn’t pick up, I started to wonder why, then I got scared, but now I feel stupid because his cell battery probably just died or something, and he forgot to charge it,”  I rambled on.

“No, I heard it ring, just a few minutes ago and about five minutes before that which must have been you,”  she stated and then continued, “But before you panic again
or jump to any conclusions, let me explain.”

“Please do,”
I inserted. I had begun to make assumptions when she told me he was there but hadn’t answered.

“Well first of all I am glad you called because lover boy has been having a hell of a time these past two wee
ks.  He’s getting into fights, breaking things when he gets mad, and every other day it seems he is drinking himself into a stupor.  Because of you, I might add.  He loves you, Mon.  He’s told you that.  He has even figured out that he doesn’t really love his wife anymore, it’s just this idealized vision he has that he can’t let go of, you know.”  I heard her sigh, and then she continued. “So anyway, after work today he and the guys went for a drink, and they dragged him home at ten o’clock already wasted blathering on about how he was going to lose the best thing to ever happen to him.  He has been passed out in his room for the past three hours sleeping it off. He probably just didn’t hear the phone.”

“Oh, Thank G
od,” I muttered as my fear dissipated, but was replaced by the sad fact that I had hurt him so much.  That my ultimatum and threats, said in the heat of an argument, had hurt the man I loved so deeply that he had been just as tortured as I these past two weeks, if not more.

“So, what’s up
, Monica?  What has you calling ‘sleepy head’ in a panic at one o’clock in the morning?  I’d offer to wake him up for you if I thought I could,” she told me.

“
No, Kat.  Let him sleep.  But when he wakes up tell him this, okay?  I want you to tell him that I love him and I will wait for him, forever if I have to.  Tell him I choose him!”  I cried as I began to sniffle into the phone.  “I gave him an ultimatum, Kat.  And I regret it so much. It was the dumbest thing I could have ever done.”

“
Not dumb, Monica, but not smart either.  But the rest, well, that is fantastic.  I’ll be happy to pass along your message in the morning when he wakes up, unless you want to do it?” she asked.

I had the race tomorrow
and I didn’t want to make him wait.  I wanted him to know the moment he woke up.  I didn’t want to prolong his self-inflicted torture and the agony I had caused a moment more.  “Umm, actually I am doing a marathon tomorrow in St. Pete,” I informed her, “And I need to go finish the registration and stuff early, so you can tell him and as soon as he is awake.  I don’t want him to suffer anymore because of me.  I love him so much.  I’ll never hurt him again.  I swear Kat.  I won’t. Tell him that as soon as I get back in my car after the race, I’ll call him,” I begged of her.

“Okay, I will tell him.
I’ll tell him everything. Monica, this is great.  You guys are perfect for each other.  I will be thrilled and honored to tell him.  I am so glad you called. Everything is going to work out,” Kat said excitedly. “You will be so happy together, Monica.  I am so thrilled one of you came to your senses.” She was laughing, and choked up at the same time.  I was too. I had finally come to my senses.

“Me
, too, Kat.  Tell him I love him, and give him a kiss for me,” I cried.  “I love that man so much my heart feels like it is going to explode.” I had hope again.

“I’ll tell him, Monica
.  Don’t you worry.  I’ll tell him everything you said. Now go to bed, and get some rest for that big race of yours, so that you can be sleeping in that man’s arms tomorrow night,” she laughed.

“Yes, Sergeant
,” I teased.  “Good night, Kat. And thank you again.”  Maybe, I would be sleeping in his arms.  I thought I might. I had hope.

“
You’re welcome. Good night, Monica, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Then we both hung up.

I went to bed with my heart feeling lighter than it had in months.

Saturday dawned bright and early, and although the race didn’t start until noon, registration was from eight until eleven.  There would be many racers needing to register. I needed to rise with the sun if I wanted to get there, register, and familiarize myself with the route. The drive to St. Petersburg was nearly two hours, but I also wanted to get in a soak in the tub for my muscles to relax before the big day ahead.

E
ven though I had barely five hours of sleep I felt refreshed.  I thought about Victor while soaking and felt in my heart that things could work out for us. I was sure he would accept my apology, and hopefully we could see each other soon. I made some toast, had oatmeal for the carbohydrates and the extra energy I would need today, and some orange juice.  I was in my SUV by seven thirty and on my way.  As I drove, I listened to a weekend radio program that had me laughing and smiling.  I was in great spirits.  I was excited about this race and even more excited about hearing from Victor.  I had really come along way, from recluse to fitness buff, to a woman not afraid to try anything.  This race, to me, was proof that I had come a long way, and I could make it to the finish line.  And then the race was over, well, then there was Victor. 

The radio show was done at nine and that song came on the radio.  The song by
Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved, a song that had played while Victor and I had danced once, and it was perfect.  It was another sign to me that I would be loved by the greatest man that had ever walked into my life.  I hummed along the whole way and continued to sing the melody when the song was long over.

I m
ade the last few turns into Tropicana Field, the forum in St. Petersburg where the Devil Rays played baseball.  I saw from the parking lot where registration was being held for the 5K, and then parked my car.  It took a while to get to the front of the line as I hadn’t been out here earlier, but I still made it to the front of the line by ten thirty.  I talked with some of the other racers while waiting my turn to fill out my registration packet and pay my registration fee.

Once that was done,
I had a little more than an hour before the race so I did some stretching and kept sipping from my water bottle to be sure to I stayed nice and hydrated.  I chatted with some of the other racers and reviewed the map that showed the course we were to follow.  I wasn’t all that familiar with St. Pete, but my plan was to just follow the person in front of me until I passed them, and then do it again with the next person, and so on. I wasn’t in it to win it.  Not my first time out by far. But I did want to have a good time, and possibly enter another race, or this one next year and beat my own time.

There were a lot of racers
, both young and old alike, all women as this was an annual race being sponsored by the National Organization for Women and it was their annual United Against Violence run.  It was probably one of the reasons Victor had told me about this race and encouraged me to do it. It warmed me to know that he had probably researched the various races, and had picked it because it would mean a lot to me.  That fact had just occurred to me now, and made me love him even more.

At about eleven thirty they made the announcement that there were over
nine thousand racers this year, and they had beaten last year’s registration by over six hundred people.  That meant they raised over ninety thousand dollars in registration alone. The crowd cheered loudly, and that did not even count the money they made on selling t-shirts, banners, water, calendars and other souvenirs people could buy to help support this great cause.  It made me happy to know that this was all going to a great cause.

You could feel the excitement in the crowd as the
race drew nearer.  I soaked it in.  I was excited, too, and not just for the race. There were all kinds of supporters there to root the woman in their family on.  Knowing that Victor had picked this race made me feel like he was here rooting me on, as well.  I didn’t feel alone.

As I started to make my way to the starting positions, I read some of the signs and banners people held;  “Go Mom!”,  “Women Unite NOW”, “End the violence”, “Grandma, leave them in the dust” which made
me laugh,  and “Tina and Susie, WE LOVE You”.  It was nice to see all the support people were giving one another.  I put on the shirt I had been carrying; it was one of Victor’s t-shirts.  The one that he had given me in Ft. Lauderdale to wear the first night we were there.  I grabbed a hand full of the shirt and brought it to my nose and I inhaled.  I could still smell him in it, even though I had worn it a few times.  I put my race belt on over it that showed the number I had been assigned for the race, and tied a small knot in the shirt to tighten it around my hips.

At eleven forty five they called all the racers into the starting
area and to take their positions.  They also asked the crowd to leave the area and to go behind the cordoned off ropes.  I had started making my way there ahead of many others so I found myself in a good position for starting.  We would be ending here, as well.  I soaked it all in as people hugged all around me, and wished their loved ones luck.  Even with just a few minutes until the start of the race, Victor was on my mind.  He would have been proud of me for doing this.  My thoughts were on him so much that I even imagined I saw him in the crowd just as the starting pistol cracked.

It startled me at first, and the people around me pushed past, but I recollected myself and began to run.  I wanted a good time, but I had to break out of this pack which was no easy task with a group this large.  It probably took me a full half mile to three quarters of mile before I could really begin to move, and I hit it with all I had.  I followed the person in front of me
just as I had planned, until I passed them; then I chose another person far up ahead to follow until I passed them, too.  I kept repeating that pattern until I could see the finish line up ahead.

I really pushed
myself that last quarter mile.  I could barely make out the LED display showing your place and time.  It was still in double digits and I was thrilled.  The top one hundred would be fantastic.  I flew past eight people in those last two hundred yards, and came in 46
th
place.  My time was twenty minutes and nine seconds.  That was fantastic. I had run more than seven miles an hour.

It took me
a while to slow once I crossed that finish line and by the time I was at a slow jog that is when I saw him.  Victor!  I halted completely and just stared. He was holding a sign that said, “I choose you!” and he held a single red rose in his other hand.  I started walking again, and then I was running.  I flew into his arms.

As my body hit his, he
wrapped his arms around me, and I wrapped my legs around him both of us clutching each other as if our lives depended on it.

“Monica, Mi Cara, my heart, I love you like
no one else.  I have for a very long time and I want you to know that,” he said in my ear.

“Yo
u, don’t have to say any . . .” I began to say.  I was crying.

“No, I do.  You deserve to hear it and so much more.” 
His eyes lowered to my lips and he kissed me.  It was perfect.  As more racers were coming in and their family to congratulate them, Victor carried me off side. He set me down and put both hands on my face holding me so that I could see into those ice blue eyes, and he gazed into mine.  I could see the love there. He spoke. “Monica, the morning after we made love that very first time, I knew you were not like anyone else I had ever met before.  I knew you were dangerous.”

“Me, dangerous . . .”
I laughed.  I wasn’t expecting him to say that.

“Shh
, please let me get this out,” he interrupted.  “I have a lot I have to say, and I want to do it right.”