Fighting To Stay (14 page)

“I agree.” I roll over and smile, resting my chin on his chest. “Let’s get married tomorrow.”

He starts coughing. Sitting up when it gets worse, I sit up cross-legged waiting for him to answer. The smile never leaves my face even as he looks at me to see if I’m serious.

“You’re not joking, are you?”

Shaking my head, “Nope, I’m not. We can go to the court house and get married all the same day.”

“Why do you want to rush so badly,” he asks and the look on his face has me thinking that he thinks something is wrong.

Picking at some invisible lint on the sheet, I draw my knees up to my chest. Silently, I work over in my head on what words I need.

“Because I’m considering having the surgery after I finish treatments. I don’t want to have to wait even longer afterward,” I say quietly.

Pulling me gently on his lap, he cradles me there for a moment before he speaks.

“If you want to get married tomorrow, I will marry you the minute the courthouse opens. I just thought you’d want the big wedding.”

Looking up at him, I touch his face gently. “Maybe once everything is done, we can renew our vows, but for now… I just want to marry you.”

“You have no idea how great that is to hear. You had better call your brother and sister then. Because we’ll have to…”

“Josh?” I say already having dialed his phone.

“Are you okay?” He sounds immediately scared.

“Yes, I’m fine. More than fine. I’m getting married tomorrow and want you there. Be here at my house by eight in the morning.”

“Yes, ma’am. Good thing I stayed in town.” There’s a muffled voice in the background. “No, baby, just my sister. She’s getting married tomorrow and wants us there.”

“Love you. I’ll let you get back to your girl. See you in a few hours,” I say the excitement filling me.

“Love you, too.”

He hangs up and I call Hailey. She takes a while to answer.

“Are you okay?”

I laugh. “I’m fine. I’m getting married tomorrow and want you here at my house at eight in the morning.”

“Oh, uh, okay. I stayed in town because I was too beat to drive. You’ll have to loan me something for tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Night.”

Garrett starts laughing, growing in intensity the longer he laughs. Smacking him, he laughs harder and I cannot help, but to join him.

“You know,” he says after he quits laughing and turns serious. “I thought you were going to tell me no.”

Taking a deep breath, I tell him the truth. “Honestly, I was going to. The thought crossed my mind a few times as I stared at you.”

“What changed your mind?”

“The thought of being without you…” I swallow hard. “As much as I don’t want to hurt you or drag you through this mess, I can’t live without you either. I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long. But if…”

He dips down and kisses me deeply. “There are no ifs in this scenario. You are going to marry me because you love me and want to spend the rest of our lives together sharing that love. Nothing else matters. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” I breathe looking into his intense eyes.

“Good. Now, let’s get some sleep. Shall we?”

The wedding is beautiful. Somehow, and I still don’t know how, my brother brought me the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. White, sleeveless fit tightly on top but flared out beautifully from the waist down.

Hailey did my hair with the help of Pollyanna. We drove separately to the courthouse so that he’d have some kind of surprise.

It is almost two by the time I am headed down to the courtroom that my soon to be husband is standing behind the door. Taking one last deep breath, Hailey kisses my cheek as tears already begin to form in her eyes.

“I love you so much, Dee. If anyone deserves this moment, it’s you. He will make you the happiest you’ve ever been.”

Smiling at her, I wipe the tears that have fallen down her cheeks. “I know he will. He’s already done that for me.”

Making sure I still look okay, Pollyanna and Hailey walk through the doors. When they move aside, my eyes find Garrett. He is talking to the Justice of the Peace and turns to see me.

His mouth falls open and it almost looks as if he stops breathing. He looks so handsome in his suit. He walks towards me as I walk toward him.

“Wow, you look… wow,” he breathes.

“You look incredibly sexy,” I smile.

The ceremony carries on with Hailey and Pollyanna taking pictures. When I walked in, I hadn’t notice, but Garrett’s family and Robert are here as well.

After the ceremony, we take a ton more pictures and I’m just drained. There’s no way I’m ruining this day though. It is a high point in my otherwise downward spiral it seems.

So, as it is suggested to us, we all go out to eat to continue the celebration, I agree with a smile on my face.

“May I have this dance, my beautiful wife?”

Taking a deep breath, “You may, my incredibly handsome husband.”

He leads me out to the floor and spins me into his arms. Even before the music begins to play, he starts to sway our bodies to inaudible music. Then through the speakers,
I Don’t Know Much
by Aaron Neville and Linda Rondstadt.

Smiling up at him, my eyes mist over. He kisses my nose softly.

“No crying today. You are far too beautiful to waste any bit of it on tears.”

“Even tears of joy,” I ask.

“Hmm, we might be able to work with those,” he laughs softly. “You stunned me when you walked into the courtroom. You are always so beautiful, but when I saw you walk in… I about fell over.”

“I didn’t want you to have anything to look back on and wish was different,” I say honestly.

“I married you, what’s there to regret?”

“I love you,” I say with so much emotion.

Kissing me, he pulls me in tightly against him. Clapping breaks into the bubble we are in as we dance, we pull apart. He winks at me. Honestly, I’ve never seen him so happy. It’s almost like he feels the same way I do—complete.

The song ends and I motion for my brother to come over. Then through the speakers, Natalie Merchant’s
Kind and Generous
starts to play. As soon as he takes me in his arms, the first lyrics play. Tears mist over his eyes as he looks down at me.

“There’s no way that I’d be here right now if it wasn’t for you. Thank you so much Josh. I can’t thank you enough.”

“What kind of older brother would I be if I didn’t take care of my baby sister? Besides,” he leans down as if he’s telling me some big secret. “It gets you off my case,” he leans back quickly laughing.

I hit his arm laughing. “I love you, Joshy. I’m so happy to see you so happy. Pollyanna seems like an amazing woman and I couldn’t have picked anyone better for you.”

The song ended and we start walking away from the dance floor when this scary tall guy steps in front of us.

“May I have this dance,” he asks.

His voice sounds familiar, like some kind of distant memory that I can’t seem to fully recall. I’m not sure why, but it does.

“Sure, bro. Here ya go,” my brother says with no qualms in handing me to this guy.

A song starts playing, but I’m not paying attention to what it is. All I want to do is remain standing on my feet and to survive this dance.

“You don’t have to be so scared of me,” he says.

Pfft, that’s easy for him to say. He knows who I am.

“You almost killed my cousin. When he left for that year, he had hit rock bottom. He got so drunk one night, decided to drive and almost wrecked off Galley’s Cliff. We thought he was finally going to escape the pain you inflicted on him. But then he comes back and there you are with another man. And all the progress we made with him over that year, and that he made with himself, was gone.”

“He never gave me the time of day until he tells me I have cancer. Then he pays attention,” I reply in my defense.

“Bullshit,” he roars in my face causing me to step back. “He’s been nothing but a game for you. If he were more than that, he would not have been as broken as he has been. Now …”

Before he can even finish the ‘lecture’ he is giving me, I push away from him and start for the door. I hear a commotion behind me just as I make it out of the door. My heart is in pieces.

This is supposed to be a magical day for us. Instead, I’m being told that because of me Garrett almost died. Once outside, I run. What I need right now is space and time. Space to breath and time to think.

After a while, I realize things Garrett has told me and the things that guy said just do
not
add up!

Taking a deep breath, I call Dr. Crosley.

“Crosley,” his deep voice answers shortly.

“I need a favor,” I say.

“Where the hell are you? Do you have any idea the hell you are putting Garrett through?”

My heart sinks at the thought of Garrett hurting. “I know how bad I’m hurting, but I have to figure out some things before… If you don’t wish to help me, I completely understand,” I say sadly.

He sighs and I hear the click of a door. “Of course, I’ll help you. What do you need me to do?”

“My treatment is in a few hours…” I leave the end of my sentence hanging.

“I know. He’s not here today. He got called out of town for one of his patients.”

“Oh, okay. Then I’ll see you soon,” breathing a little sigh of relief.

“You need to talk to him. He’s a wreck,” Crosley says sadly.

“I will. Just please let me get my head straight.”

“What happened? One minute y’all are dancing happily and in love and the next you’re running from the building.”

“I’ll explain when I get there if you have time. I need to head out.”

After saying goodbye, I hang up the phone. Taking a deep breath, I throw on the sweats and t-shirt from the gift shop and head out of the room.

After waiting for a cab, I bite my lip nervously. It just wasn’t going to be a good day, I can already tell. The way this time has gone is not the way I thought it would.

Hell, I got married two days ago to the man of my dreams. Yet, here I sit in the back of a cab with my heart in pieces and my soul deflated at my feet. No, this is not a good day at all.

Walking into the clinic, I was shocked to see Crosley waiting for me. Quickly rushing me back to the treatment room, he barely let me stop.

“Carly is trouble. If she had seen you, she would have made sure that the story is twisted for her benefit to Garrett. She’s wanted Garrett from the moment she started working here.”

“I kind of figured that by the way she talked to Garrett the day that I came to bring him lunch a few weeks ago.”

He went about personally hooking me up and getting me ready to go. All the while, he is asking me questions about what is going on, what had happened and what I planned to do.

“I’m not sure my plan yet. If what his cousin said is true then I’m only going to bring him down again,” I say softly.

Robert looks at me, confusion clear on his face. “What do you mean?”

“I’m being realistic here, not whining. Having cancer at such a young age, how likely is it for it to come back?”

“Honestly, you can’t really base life on statistics. Just because it came back for one, doesn’t mean it will for another.”

Sighing, I retry my point. “I don’t want him to see me die. I don’t want him hurt. If leaving now gives him the option to find better, healthier, then I love him enough to give him that option. He deserves that chance.”

Robert’s head drops down and he breathes deeply. “Though I understand your point here, I do.” He looks up at me. “I would not trade a single second with my wife. Even knowing my heart would break one day when she left me behind, I would still choose to have that limited time with her. Because during that limited time that we shared, I loved her to the best of my ability and she showed me a life I never knew. Yeah, I was a broken man when she was gone. But that’s because she loved me. I know now, should I choose to look for love again, that I want the love we shared and I’ll settle for nothing less. She gave me that. I’d take all those moments again even with the same results in the end because I learned the man I needed to be and wanted to be.”