Authors: Kristen Proby
Did I fuck up so badly yesterday that he’s going to break it off?
Wednesday, May, 15, 2013 14:35
From: Julianne Montgomery
To: Nathan McKenna
Subject: Re: Departing
Nate,
Safe travels. See you in the office tomorrow.
Julianne
But he’s not getting off that easy. I pull out my phone and send him a text.
Please travel safely. I’m excited to see you tonight.
There is no response.
Shit.
***
I’m later getting to Nate’s than I really intended to be. I had to stop by the hospital to see Natalie, Luke and Olivia, and I couldn’t go empty-handed, so I stopped to shop a little on the way. I ended up with a huge, super-soft giraffe and a tiny pink onesie that says, “Birth: Nailed It.”
I don’t have any idea if Nate has already made it home because I haven’t heard a peep from him. I guess I’ll find out when I get there.
I park in my usual space, leave my suitcase in the car in case I’m not welcome to stay here tonight, and ride the elevator to his floor, and as the elevator climbs, so does my anxiety level.
Based on how things have gone over the past twenty-four hours, I’m inclined to believe that things may be done between us. The thought of it makes me hurt like nothing ever has before.
I walk down to his door and put my shiny new key in the lock. I step into Nate’s apartment, and can immediately sense that I’m alone.
He’s not home yet.
It’s chilly inside, so I switch on his gas fireplace to warm the space and turn on a few lamps in the living room and the light over the kitchen stove.
Maybe I should cook for him? I wonder if he’s eaten.
I’m standing in the middle of Nate’s sexy kitchen, wondering what to do with myself when the front door opens and he walks inside, pulling his small black suitcase behind him. He’s wearing another dark suit and tie, and his hair is pulled back off his face.
He’s still in executive mode.
“I’ll be right back,” he murmurs and walks through the great room toward his bedroom without sparing me a glance.
Maybe I should just save him the trouble of telling me it’s over and leave now. I know he’s mad, and I wasn’t expecting a scene from a movie where we run toward each other in slow motion and hold on for dear life. We saw each other just yesterday morning, for Pete’s sake, but I was hoping for something a little warmer than that.
My heels click on the hardwood as I walk to the couch and gather my purse and wrap, and then I head to the front door. My hand is on the knob when I hear his hard voice across the room.
“If you walk through that door, so help me God, Julianne, I will tie you to my bed.”
I lower my head and sigh. I’m so confused. He wants me to stay?
“Look at me.” It’s not a request.
I turn around and face him. He’s changed into a soft gray t-shirt and black jeans, and his hair is down. He’s shed his professional clothes, and is just a man standing before me.
An angry man.
“Where are you going?” he asks and crosses his arms over his chest.
“Home.”
“Why?”
“You don’t seem to be terribly happy to see me.” I’m proud of keeping my voice steady despite the tears that want to come.
God, I’m such a girl.
Regret moves through his eyes and he frowns and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and I take that to mean that I’m right. I close my eyes and hang my head, bracing myself for the goodbye.
“It’s okay, Nate. I get it. I’ll go.” I turn back toward the door and before I know what’s happening, Nate twirls me around and grips my shoulders in his large, strong hands, holding me in front of him, his feral eyes trained on mine. He’s panting, and he’s just so
angry.
“You are not running again.”
“I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve barely heard from you since last night. You won’t talk to me. You’re cold and distant. I’m not an idiot, Nate, I know when someone’s trying to break it off.”
He clenches his teeth and closes his eyes, then looks at me with such need my knees almost buckle.
“I don’t know how to deal with how I feel for you. I was a wreck yesterday when I couldn’t reach you. No one at the office knew where you ran off to, and you wouldn’t answer me. When you finally did call me, you brushed me off and told me I’m ridiculous and that our relationship is bullshit.”
“That’s not what I…”
“That’s what you said,” he interrupts me and grips me tighter. “No one hurts me, Julianne. No one. I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me. That’s what got me through fighting, and it’s what’s gotten me to where I am now. And then you came into my life, and you just blindsided me. I am so fucking wrapped up in you I can’t see straight, and you tell me I’m a caveman for wanting to protect you and that our relationship is bullshit.”
Tears are running down my cheeks at the despair and loss on his face. My God, I had no idea his feelings for me are so strong. That he feels for me the same way that I feel for him.
I’ve never been so relieved and devastated at the same time. How am I going to fix this?
“I don’t know how to deal with it either, Nate.” I cup his face in my hands. “I was so sure that you were finished with me, that I’d pissed you off so badly that we couldn’t fix it. I didn’t mean that our relationship is bullshit. I didn’t.” I stress this and look him dead in the eyes. He’s watching me, listening, and I continue.
“Everything happened so fast yesterday. I was a mess, and I’m never a mess. You were gone, Carly at work was bragging to me about how she’s banging you and running off to New York with you,” Nate blanches, but I keep going before he can speak. “And then Luke called, freaking out because Nat’s water broke. I just left and went to the hospital, forgetting everything else.” I take a deep breath and wipe the tears still flowing down my cheeks away with my fingers.
“When Natalie finally agreed to take the meds, I checked my phone and saw that you’d been trying to reach me, and I called you right away. I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you at all, but I was annoyed that you were annoyed with me, and I had so much going through my head. I said the wrong thing, and I apologize again.”
“Jules, I’m sure I could have handled things better too, I just…” he swallows and looks down, carefully choosing his words. “I just hate the fact that I have this primal need inside of me to protect you. I’ve never felt this about anyone before, and you just don’t need me. I’m so proud of you for being the independent, confident, intelligent woman you are, but you don’t need me, and I want to take care of you, more than you will ever know.”
He releases my shoulders and runs his hands down my arms to link his fingers in mine. He’s so wrong. I do need him.
I take a deep breath, stealing myself for the words I’m about to say. I grip his fingers with mine, and realize we’re still standing by the doorway. I don’t want to break this moment by suggesting we sit, so I look into his eyes again and bare my soul.
“You’re so wrong,” I whisper. He frowns and looks apprehensive again. “You once said to me that if I’d been paying attention for the past year I would have seen that I’m the only woman you’re interested in.” I swallow and look down at his chest.
“Look at me,” he whispers and I comply, seeing hope in his gorgeous gray eyes.
“Well, if you’d been paying attention, Nate, you would have seen that I’ve been in love with you since long before we first made love in this apartment.” His eyes widen in wonder and my stomach settles as calm washes over me, and I know that this is right. “I do need you. I hated you being away yesterday. I wanted to come home to you last night and tell you all about the baby and the delivery. I need your strength. Yes, I’m a badass, but there are times that I need someone to hold me up too, and I didn’t know until I found you that that doesn’t make me weak, it means that I’ve found my partner.”
“Julianne,” his voice is rough with emotion and he leans his forehead on mine, wraps his arms around me and holds me close. “Say it again.”
“Which part?” I ask with a laugh.
“The good part,” he whispers.
“I need you.”
“The other good part.”
I run my fingers down his smooth cheek and brush my lips over his, breathing him in.
“I love you.”
“Oh, baby, I love you too.” Nate scoops me into his arms and carries me to his bedroom, turning on the sidelight, and lowers me gently to my feet. He pulls my hair out of the tie holding it off my face and runs his fingers through it.
“I love how soft your hair is.” He unzips my simple, black shift dress, letting it fall down my arms and onto the floor. My bra and panties follow it and he steps back, enjoying the view.
“Like what you see?” I ask and smile.
“God, you’re so fucking hot.”
Oh.
When he says it like that, my panties go all wet, and I just want to lick him.
“I want you naked, Nate.” I walk to him and pull his t-shirt up over his head. He raises his arms and backs out of the shirt, making it easier for me. I unfasten his jeans and slide them, along with his boxer-briefs, down his legs and off his feet as he steps out of them.
Nate lifts me and lays me on the bed. He kisses my stomach, my breasts and collar bones as he crawls up my body and nestles his large, thick cock against my folds. I run my hands down his back to his ass and smile up into his molten gray eyes.
He kisses me, softly, tenderly, brushing my lips in that expert way of his. I lift my legs and wrap them around his hips. As I do, I feel his apa brush against my clit and I gasp.
Nate smiles against my lips. “Like that?” he asks.
“God, yes.”
“If you don’t, I’ll take it out.” My wide eyes find his and I cup his face in my hands.
“You don’t have to do that for me.”
“I’d do anything for you.”
And here come a few more tears. God, when will they stop?
“Julianne, I’ll do anything to make you happy.” He brushes the hair at my temples off my face and gazes at me with such love it takes my breath away.
“You do make me happy. Keep the apa. I like it.” I grin and tilt my hips rubbing him against me and moan again. “I more than like it.”
Nate laughs and starts to rock his hips just a little faster, sliding the tiny metal ball against my clit with each stroke.
“God, don’t stop doing that.” I push my hands into his black hair and hold his face to mine, kissing him passionately as those little metal balls do amazing things to me. “Oh, honey, shit…”
“Yes, baby, let go.” He rocks once, twice more and bites gently on my lower lip and I fall over the edge. He reaches down between us and guides himself inside me, slowly stretching me, and my already sensitive muscles clench around him tightly.
“Fuck, don’t do that. I’ll come too fast.”
“I can’t help it, you feel so damn good.”
He cups my breast in his hand and massages the nipple as he moves in and out of me at the slow, easy pace, watching my face, smiling softly down at me. “You are amazing. I love watching your beautiful face when I’m inside you.”
God I love it when he talks like this.
“Faster, babe,” I whisper, but his grin widens and he keeps the same gentle pace.
“No, this is going to have to be slow and steady, baby.” His mouth finds mine once again, and his tongue teases me, his mouth slowly moves across my own, his whole body loving mine, oh so slowly.
“I missed you so much,” I whisper against his lips.
“I hated being so far from you.” His hips start to move just a tiny bit faster and I rake my nails down Nate’s back to his ass and hold on. “God, you make me crazy.”
“Good.” I feel my body tightening, another orgasm approaching, and I cling to him, wrapping myself around him. My body shudders with my release, and Nate clenches his jaw, rests his forehead against mine and surrenders to his own climax, whispering my name.
Chapter Eighteen
“How did you get fresh chocolate cheesecake in your fridge while you were gone?” We are seated at the breakfast bar, me in his gray t-shirt and panties, and Nate just in his black jeans, the top button undone.
He looks as delicious as this decadent cake.
“I had my housekeeper bring it in.” He grins and offers me a bite from his own plate and I happily accept.
“I didn’t know you have a housekeeper. I never see her.”
“She only comes in once a week while I’m at work. I don’t need someone full time.” I put my foot up in his lap and he starts to rub the arch.
“Okay, I’m in girl heaven. Chocolate and a foot rub. Men think we’re so hard to figure out, but it really just boils down to this.” I close my eyes and enjoy his thumb rubbing up and down the sole of my foot.
“So noted.” He chuckles and clears our plates. “Come on.”
I take his offered hand and he leads me to the couch. He sits in the middle and motions for me to sit at the end. He pulls my bare legs up into his lap and I turn so my back is against the arm of the couch and he continues to massage my feet.
Oh, I love him.
“So, tell me about yesterday.”
I sigh in contentment and smile at my sexy man. “The baby is amazing. It was a rather quick labor, for a first baby, and Nat did great. Luke almost passed out when Olivia’s head crowned, but I talked him down from the ledge.”
I laugh at the memory.
“Natalie was incredible. She’s so strong. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was the best birth control I’ve ever seen. I’m doubling up my pills from now on. I don’t care if I become a mutant from the hormones.”
“Baby, you’re so strong, childbirth would be a snap for you.”
Why is he sitting here, calmly talking about me having babies?
“Hell to the no.” I shake my head vigorously. “No babies are coming out of this body.”