Feral: Part One (8 page)

“It is quite all right, 
amore mio,”
 he assured me, his voice as smooth as honey. “I can, in all honesty, say I do not blame you for your reaction. After all, we are said to be creatures of darkness.”

Those words brought to mind a swarm of questions, and I squirmed in his embrace, attempting to get into a vertical position instead of leaning in his arms from my almost-fall. He released me at once, his face painted with resignation, and I felt my heart ache for him. “I, um, I’m not sure what to say.”

Simon was a vampire.

“If you’re a vampire, I don’t understand how you can be out in sunlight. You obviously don’t sparkle,” I said with a weak noise that sounded more like a whine than a chuckle.

“Obviously,” he said dryly.

“I thought y’all burst into flames or something?”

“Certain breeds do burn more quickly than others,” he said in a surprisingly relaxed timbre.
“Cara,
would you be opposed to finishing this conversation over your meal, or would you prefer to retire to my study.”

I glanced at the shrimp laid out on the tray closest to my plate then up at him, hesitation filling me.

It wasn’t like I was
scared
of this man, but I had just been told vampires were real and was now trying to merge what I knew of the man I had been seeing for the past few months with this secret he had withheld from me. I needed answers.

I slowly sat down, plucking a few of the shrimp onto my plate as I attempted to mentally grab one of the myriad of questions that buzzed through my head. I felt like my thoughts were fragile dandelions caught in a tornado, and I was scrambling to catch as many as possible.

“Vampires,” I murmured, more to myself than to him.

“Yes,” he responded. “History makes us out to be the spawn of demons, but the truth of the matter is that it is a disease, a virus that is spread like most human viruses, by the introduction of corrupt cells into the bloodstream of the victim.”

“And this… this happened to Cole?”

“As of today,” he said steadily, “there are five of my clan living here: two females and three males, one obviously being myself. The other two are Colton Malver and Kendal O’Cleirigh, Colton being the newest member after Kendal found him severely injured after an accident. He was going to feed from him, until he realized who Colton was. Instead of doing so or letting him die, he changed him to save his life, and brought him here, into our clan.”

“Cole’s a… a vampire?”

“Yes.”

Well, I guess he wasn’t kidding when he said he changed!

All this time Cole had been texting me, he had been a vampire, and that troubled me. Given all that he was probably going through, why was he determined to get in touch with me? It seemed odd, and there was something about it that did not sit right with me, but I was too afraid to ask him about my ex at that point. I knew I would be unable to handle the emotional impact if I were to discuss Cole too much, so my mind reached out to capture whatever question fluttered through it next.

“You mentioned breeds?”

“Yes,” he answered simply. “There is more than one type of vampire. Perhaps I should begin there?”

“Wherever will confuse me the least.”

“Well—” I could actually see the physical change from general conversationalist to lecturer— “there are several breeds of vampire, probably more than even I know. There are the vetalas, pishachas, sexual vampires, eidolons, immortals and mortals.” He held up his hand to stop the question from forming on my lips. “Yes, there is such a thing as a mortal vampire. It in no way means we are human, it just means we are easier to destroy, and yes, I am one of the mortal breeds.”

He licked his lips, and I could tell he was pondering whether or not to tell me whatever it was he had planned to next. “I would ask you allow me to explain fully before you make assumptions, and do not look so affronted. What I tell you next could… Well, you may now more than ever wish to rethink our situation, as I am an incubus.”

I felt my chest constrict.

An incubus. A sexual vampire. A creature that fed off both blood and sexual energy.

“Stop.” When my gaze sliced through the air toward him, he looked unrepentant, but disheartened all the same. “Your face is betraying your thoughts, and I would ask that you hear me out before you make a decision.

“It is true incubi and succubi feed off sexual energy, but that in no way means each vampire is prone to promiscuity, at least not the mature ones,” he said calmly. “Sexual vampires are the only breed capable of reproducing, but they can only do so if they are what we call blood-born, meaning they themselves were procreated instead of changed.

“It is also the blood-born that cannot avoid a period of promiscuity, a period that takes place during their adolescence. It is a time when they require substantial amounts of blood and energy to sustain their existence, and it is the behavior during this period which has spawned the reputation that succubi and incubi have.

“Turned sexual vampires and, indeed, adult blood-born are perfectly capable of mating with only one being, and do not require sexual intercourse with anyone other than their mate to survive. However, mated couples do tend to hunt for energy together, usually by socializing at a bar or club. They will often flirt with the other patrons to ensure they have the humans’ attention, then they become intensely affectionate with each other for the… entertainment of the others. This greatly increases the sexual energy in the establishment, and the mated couple feed off it together, creating a loop that sustains them for quite a few days.”

“What about unmated ones?”

As soon as the question left my mouth, I wanted to take it back. It was rude and incredibly presumptuous. However, he answered me candidly.

“That depends entirely on the individual vampire. Some unmated incubi and succubi will engage in sexual intercourse every time they feed, others will only engage in sexual intercourse when it is absolutely critical that they do so, and others in between. And I will not insult you by not giving you the answer you truly wish,” he said with a hint of a self-deprecating smile. “I have not engaged in sexual intercourse unless my health required it. I do, however, engage in socializing to obtain a modest amount of energy.”

Another thought drifted through my consciousness, and despite my hesitation, I found myself inquiring anyway. “Do you drink blood?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, though I could see he was unhappy. “I have and still do drink from living human beings, but I try to alternate my habits with bagged and animal blood.”

“Have you ever killed before?”

“Yes. Early in my existence, I was unable to control my intake, and I would kill.”

“When was the last time you killed a human? How many have you killed?”

“Twenty-seven years ago. And in the six hundred-plus years I have been alive, approximately two hundred, and most of those being in my first few years as an incubus.”

“Stop,” I commanded suddenly, feeling overwhelmed. “I need a few minutes. I need to think. Please?”

“Certo.
Certainly,
”
 he said with little emotion. “I will leave you to your thoughts. If you wish to leave, I will not keep you. Call for me if you wish to continue.”

He disappeared, and I was left to an unending stream of thoughts, concerns and questions.

Simon had taken the lives of humans. He was a killer. Could I really accept that? It wasn’t like he was some psychopath killing for twisted gratification. He was a vampire. Was there a difference between him feeding from human beings and human beings taking the life of innocent animals? After all, human beings were, at our very core, animals—mammals, if one wanted to get technical about the issue.

I supposed the bigger question wasn’t whether or not I could accept his being a vampire and having taken the lives of others, but whether or not I could accept breaking off my relationship with Simon and not having him in my own. And in the end, the answer was no. I couldn’t imagine altering our relationship in any way, because I knew something would be missing, something that would mean I was less joyful, content, fulfilled.

I was also having difficulties interpreting what mate meant, and I couldn’t imagine that it would be an easy thing to integrate into my vocabulary, though it seemed I might have to. What did that mean? Was it just their term for… what? Lover? Partner? Wife? Surely it wasn’t the latter. I mean, I could only think of two things when it came to the word mate, and that was animals or the European term for friends. Of course, I had heard once before that wolves mate for life, so… maybe life-partners?

I really did have a lot of questions to ask. 

Regardless of the fact he would hear me calling him, I made my way to the living room where I speculated he was waiting, and sure enough, I was right.

He rose when I entered the room and stopped a few feet away, leaning against the wall closest to me.

“I have to ask you some questions,” I stated firmly, “and I’m not sure how. I’m going to feel pretty stupid if I’m wrong, but why are you telling me this? I mean, if I were someone unimportant, why would you
need
to tell me… y’know? I can’t see how my knowing Cole would have any weight on whether or not you told me any of this, unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Unless I’m wrong in my thinking.”

“And what,
amore mio,
are you thinking?”

“I’d rather not say, in case I’m wrong.”

“You would not be.”

Once again, I found myself temporarily short of breath. “Mates—what does that mean? And if I am your mate, does that mean… I mean, will you be… Will there be others?” I managed to choke out while trying to ignore the heat that spread from my face down my neck.

“It means you are mine and I am yours, and if you chose to mate with me, I would be bound to you and you alone.”

It was succinct, to the point, and sounded very final, and I wasn’t positive why I was okay with this. “I, um…” I swallowed nervously. “I’m sorry. My thoughts are pretty scattered right now, and I really don’t know what to say or ask next.”

“It is quite all right. I suspect there is absolutely no circumstance in which telling a person that vampires do exist is normal. I would never expect you to be anything more than overwhelmed, to have a million questions. Indeed, I would be quite surprised if your thoughts were in perfect order.” He offered me a small smile of reassurance. “Please. Take all the time you need, and ask whatever questions you have.”

“Why aren’t you cold?”

“Am I not?” he shot back, a look of amusement written on his face.

“Well, a little,” I responded embarrassedly. “But it’s not like you’re a block of ice. I thought vampires were supposed to be as cold as death, or something equally and dramatically poetic.”

“Again, 
amore,
 it depends on the breed. Strigois and vetalas most certainly are. The moroi have rather chilly body temperatures, as do the pischachas. Sexual vampires, however cool to the touch, are the warmest of the breeds.

“A vampire’s temperature depends on what they feed upon,” he said in much the same manner one would expect a physician to discuss clinical aspects of any given disease. “The strigoi and vetalas are purely psychic vampires, meaning they feed solely on energy. No blood, no physical life. Vampires like the moroi are exactly the opposite. They are solely blood drinkers.

“Now, it is said that blood is the life, and that is true to an extent. There is energy within blood, but it is limited. Hence, they are slightly warmer than psychic vampires, though not by much.”

“And being an incubus, you drink both—the physical and spiritual elements combined being more fulfilling.” I concluded. “But how is it other breeds survive without both?”

“That
 is something I have spent, and am still spending, a great deal of time trying to determine. As far as I have been able to tell, it has something to do with the components of the different viruses that make up the disease of vampirism.” He grinned. “However, it is difficult getting other breeds to comply with being tested when we all have a mutual dislike for the other.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Despite the early hour, I already felt a headache developing, and I was beginning to give out underneath the information and emotions. I really did not want to have to think of anything too complicated at the time, so I simply said the first easy thing that popped into my mind. “Is Simon your real name?”

“Simon is not my birth name, but it
is
my legal name currently. I was born Simundos Benasuti Geragio to Girardus Alviso Geragio,
Marchese de Treviso
in 1402. I guess it goes without saying as to where.”

“You’re aristocracy.”

“Yes.”

“You said your father’s name. Why not your mother’s?” His eyes hardened so suddenly, so darkly that I winced and stuttered. “I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t… I’m sorry.” I bowed my head and almost instantly felt his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my face back to his.

“Cara,
I am not angry with you, if that is what you are thinking, and I know it is. It is simply that thinking of my mother, and indeed my father, brings to mind unpleasant memories.” He sighed. “But to answer your question in short, I was the product of infidelity on my father’s part, and as his wife could not give him an heir, I was the alternate to the son he truly wanted but would never have.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,” I responded softly, feeling guilt welling up.

“No, per favore
. Please, do not be. It is in the past.”

I stayed silent for a while, trying to beat my remorse into submission, finally succeeding and blurting out, “You’re old.”

“Indeed. I have lived lifetimes, mostly in peace, but always with blood on my hands,” he said with gravity as he moved closer. “Would you now dare challenge me to kiss you, given what you have learned of me?”

“Yes.”

Now why did I say that?

The question was swept from my mind as he dipped his face closer.