Fear Me (2 page)

“I told you I couldn't go up there.
”
It was Willow speaking from somewhere far away. “Keiran wouldn’t like it.”

Ten years later…

“Lake!” I snapped out of my daydream as the last bell of the day rung, signaling the end of school and junior year.

I survived.

I knew why, although I didn't dare speak it aloud foolishly, believing that reason would appear suddenly in front me like a dark cloud.

Be for real, Lake.

I looked over at my best friend who was looking at me with questions in her eyes. I said nothing, gathered my books and stood by the door. Willow finished collecting the many colorful pens she used to take notes in class. That's just Willow. She’s flamboyant in everything she does—no exceptions. The rest of the class along with the teacher had already disappeared. Everyone was equally
eager for the start of the summer.
Willow stood and approached the door with the same mischief in her eyes that was present from the very first day we met.

I closed my eyes briefly.
Don't think about that.

We silently walked to Willow’s purple Eclipse in the parking lot. Of course it was purple or it wouldn't be Willow. I cut my eye at her waiting for whatever was on her mind to spill out. I knew I wouldn't have to wait long because Willow was a talker.

“So did you hear?” she asked as she stopped just outside the driver’s side. I waited patiently, but she hesitated to unlock her door as if she didn't want to let me in.

No
, I pleaded silently. There was only one thing Willow was cautious about with me or rather one person.
Don't bring him up. Don't bring him up.
She continued on, completely missing the change in my body language. One would think after ten years we could read each other better or maybe we were just too comfortable to care.

“No, what?” It slowly became harder to breathe. Sometimes I think I enjoy pain, physically and mentally.
Sick right?

“The Dark Lord of Bainbridge High returns next year.” I met her worried gaze. I guess she isn’t as oblivious as I thought.
She’s warning me.

Breathe.

I used controlled, breathing exercises to keep myself from hyperventilating whenever he was brought up. Ironically the habit developed
after
he left last year. After years of allowing him to control me out of fear, you would think I would be skipping with joy after he left. I finally controlled my breathing and looked up to find her on my side now rubbing my back soothingly.

“I’m fine,” I said only after I was confident my sanity was intact. “Besides I have all summer to prepare myself and your slightly illegal antics to distract me,” I stated, attempting humor to lighten the mood. Willow looked away and began chewing her lip.
Okay…

My heart was beating fast now—too fast. My breathing was out of control again as I waited for the final blow to my sanity. “My parents are sending me away this summer…and he’s already here.”

I died.

* * *

No, I didn't die but it was a close second.

I woke up to find the school nurse standing over me, pressing a cool cloth to my forehead. The principal and gym teacher were sitting with a crying Willow in the corner, attempting to console her. “It’s all my fault,” she kept repeating as Principal Lawrence hugged her.

“She’s awake,” Nurse Kelly announced.

Willow rushed forward as everyone turned to me. “I’m sorry Lake, I shouldn't have said anything!” I gave her a shaky smile but didn’t respond. I couldn’t in front of them. Principal Lawrence interrupted to say that my aunt had been called and was on her way.

She’s going to ask questions.
I quickly sat up, thinking there might have been time to escape. She would want answers I wasn't ready and never would be ready
to give. I might have escaped if the nurse
hadn’t nudged me back with a stern look. “I’m fine, really. Willow can drive me home.” I gave her what I hoped was a healthy smile.

“Miss Monroe, our policy requires us to notify parents or guardians when incidents such as these occur. We chose not to call an ambulance because you had a strong pulse and began to come around quickly…and then you started talking.

I was talking? Oh no, what did I say? Was it bad?

Principal Lawrence continued speaking, but I’d tuned her out as I wondered what I could have possibly said in near unconsciousness. My mind went through many scenarios in a small space of time. “Miss Monroe did you hear me?” she asked impatiently.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” She huffed as if I was wasting her time. I fought the grin tugging at my lips from her mini tantrum. The staff at school sucked and I didn't care for any of them but that was mostly due to the fact that they turned a blind eye to my tormentor and the reign he had over the school. It was too fucked up for words. “I said we think you should speak to Mrs. Gilmore.” I immediately looked at Willow, wondering if she told anything to make them want to involve the counselor. She immediately shook her head, knowing what I was asking.

So it was bad.

I was saved from answering, however, by my Aunt rushing into the nurse’s office, followed by the flustered school secretary. My aunt could be a worrier.

“Lake!” she exclaimed as she bounded forward to grab me in a hug. “What happened, why did you faint? Are you okay? Let me look at you. Hold still!”

I never moved an inch but my aunt was far from rational right now. She would make an incredible mother, but she never had children or a man in her life despite the fact that she was beautiful in every way.

She looked a lot like my mom, her sister – blonde with blue eyes, long legs, great body and personality. She was also one of those Star Trek geeks who liked anything sci-fi. I guess that's why she is a best-selling fantasy fiction author. I was proud.

We’ve grown close after the disappearance of my parents ten years ago after…well it happened during that summer. I don’t know if they are dead or if they abandoned me. My aunt is adamant that my parents would never leave me willingly. It hurt either way. They were
gone.
Just like that, out of thin air.
I found out a month after the playground incident. It had been my birthday and we’d just left the doctor’s office after an X-ray for my arm.

I had been unconscious for two days and suffered a broken arm after
he
pushed me off the monkey bars. It was pretty harsh stuff for an eight-year old. I never said a word and neither did anyone else. The adults pretty much assumed I fell off trying to help Buddy. I wonder even now how he could hold so much power at a tender age, but I’ve learned over time and after years of torture that there was nothing
tender
about him.

Focus.

“Honey, they want you to speak to the school counselor,” my aunt said but it was more of a question than a statement. Despite our closeness, I never told my aunt anything about what happens to me within these halls, outside these halls, in my nightmares,
in my dreams.
Knowing my aunt she would move us away and I couldn't do that. My aunt loves Six Forks. She says it inspires her.
Whatever that means
. I just know I couldn't take that away.

So I endured.

Ten long years of endurance and then it would be over and I could finally breathe and finally live, without fear, without control, without desire for the dark and unobtainable.

Yeah, not going there.

Mrs. Gilmore had arrived and immediately introduced herself to my aunt and me. I already knew who she was but we had never crossed paths before. Like I said, I’ve endured.

“Why don’t you two follow me to my office so we can talk privately?” I wasn't ready for this but what could I do? I needed to know what I said while I was unconscious.

“Willow, why don't you go ahead home? Thank you for staying with her but I’m sure you parents are worried by now,” my aunt suggested. I’d forgotten Willow was here. She nodded and smiled nervously at me. I smiled back but didn't have anything to say, at least not with present party involved.

Mrs. Gilmore led the way to her office as we followed silently behind.
You can do this.
We reached her office and went inside. I took a moment to look around. Her office was homey although a bit messy with papers and files strewn everywhere. My hands were itching to straighten up her office or point her in the direction of the nearest office supply store for a better filing system.

We each sat down and just looked at one another, not sure how to proceed. My aunt was the first to speak after a few moments of tense silence. “Principal Lawrence said she talked while she was becoming conscious?”

“Right! Yes, people sometimes do as they regain consciousness, but in this case it was the nature of what was said.” It took everything in me not to scream for her to spit it out when she fell silent again. “You said…” The more her cheeks colored the more dread built in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed deeply and waited. “Well you said,” she continued, “
Master can’t come back
.”

Silence.

Complete and utter silence filled the room once more and only I could hear the deafening roar of mortification and feel the room spin. It had grown so quiet you could hear a pin drop…
down the hall
.
This can’t be happening.
I must have repeated that a million times in my head and few times out loud.

But it happened. I knew it did
.
My body was wound tight, so tight I thought it might break.
Not if my mind did first
, I admitted. My aunt’s gaze was locked on the counselor. I knew it wasn’t what she was expecting the counselor to say. Neither did I. Mrs. Gilmore clapped a hand over her mouth as if she couldn't believe she said it either.
Join the club.

“Are you…are you sure that’s what she said?” my aunt asked.

“Ms. Anderson I understand your doubt as the situation is a tad disturbing,” she responded.
Yeah, no kidding. “
But Coach Lyons was quite sure that was what he heard her say.”

Coach Lyons was the male team’s basketball coach and one of the school’s gym teachers. He was also a fan of my tormentor who also happened to be the team captain until he left last year. I’ve never had any issues with the man, but he never cared about anything except making sure his star player stayed happy.

“I have to ask…is there any trouble in the home?” My aunt’s back straightened at the counselor’s question and implication. I guess she didn't know that my aunt had a temper when riled, which wasn't often but when provoked, even I ducked for cover.

“Excuse me? Are you implying that I would actually hurt my niece? Are you insane?
” she yelled. “Let’s go Lake, my right hand is twitching.” She stood up to go and Mrs. Gilmore quickly tried to recover the situation.

“Ms. Anderson, please. It is only a routine question we have to ask. This doesn't have any personal bearing on your ability as a guardian. Please, sit down,” she pleaded.

Aunt Carissa still looked as if she might jump the poor counselor so I decided to speak up. “Mrs. Gilmore, my aunt is the best parent I could have asked for. There isn’t anything she wouldn't do for me. I am completely safe with her.” My aunt’s expression softened from my reassurance.

Situation saved.

“I didn’t think so,” the counselor replied. She gave Aunt Carissa an apologetic smile and we turned to go, but her next question stopped me in my tracks. “One more thing…”

I turned back around to face her again. “Yes?”

“Does this have anything to do with Keiran Masters returning next year?”

“I swear I didn't say
anything,
” she told me for the hundredth time. I wasn’t home long before Willow arrived at my house for details. I wasn’t eager to relive the humiliation but my inquisitive friend wouldn't let me die alone.
Dramatic much?

I thought back to the moment she asked me about him, and mentally patted myself on the back for the lame excuse I gave Mrs. Gilmore after she dropped that bomb back at her office.

“I don't know what you mean Mrs. Gilmore. He and I have never had any association with each other. I hardly know him. I must have simply overheated and fainted.”

That wasn’t entirely untrue. I felt my body warm even now thinking about him. Sometimes it was too much. “I believe you Willow, you don't have to keep reminding me,” I laughed.

She sat up on my bed and stared at me for a moment chewing on her lip again. That meant Willow was thinking and Willow thinking is
not
a good thing. “So what are you going to do?” she began. “I mean, you can’t stay in the house all summer and we have to go back to school in three months.”

“I don't know,” I answered truthfully. I wasn't foolish to think that just because he’s been gone for almost a year that the affect won’t be the same
.
Maybe he won’t be interested in tormenting me anymore.
I can hope.

Willow didn't stay much longer and left after assuring herself that I was okay. I welcomed the chance to be alone and prepared to take a shower for the night. My aunt had already gone to bed. I guess she didn’t know how to deal with the situation. I could understand. She didn't ask too many questions for which I was grateful.

I gathered my favorite pink sleep shorts with dancing teddy bears and the matching top and headed to the bathroom. Despite my aunt’s success, we lived modestly in a three-bedroom, two-bath home. It was two stories high with a nice sized back yard and pool. For my sixteenth birthday my aunt bought a car for me, but Willow and I carpooled, switching turns every day. We’ve been inseparable since we met, despite what occurred that day, although I think she feels guilty for some reason.

I gazed at myself in the mirror as if the reason for the past ten years was within the glass. I was tall with too-long legs that made me feel awkward, especially around other girls who were short, like Willow. My blonde hair fell to the middle of back and I kept china bangs because of my mom. She always liked my bangs. My eyes were blue but in the right light they appeared almost green. My aunt says they’re turquoise. I was lean and tone in the right places thanks to yoga. I wasn't much of an outdoor person so I was kind of pale, but it didn't bother me. Willow liked to joke that I looked like a Barbie ballerina and was such a girl at times.