Fast and Loaded: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (9 page)

“
I
t’s been
two days Desmond; you need to go talk to her,” Glen said to me.

I knew he was right; I had been avoiding Amber ever since I had verbally attacked her. I just didn’t know what I could say now to make up for everything that I had already said. She probably never wanted to see me again, and I couldn’t blame her.

Knowing Amber, she was still trying to find a way to make Theresa run, but every mechanic I had talked too had said the same thing, there was just no way without the parts. The parts would need to be custom made too.

“What am I supposed to say to her Glen?” I asked him as I drank my beer, “Sorry I was such a jerk? My dreams have been ruined.”

He laughed, it was a depressing noise. He knew as well as I did that the end was coming. It was like watching a boat sinking slowly in the middle of the ocean. Nothing could be done to save the vessel, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the destruction.

“Just because you aren’t going to win this year, doesn’t mean that you can’t try again next year,”.

I scoffed, “Actually, it does. I won’t be coming back to the racing scene. The Grand Nevada was the final race for Theresa and me both. I have other things that I need to do.”

“Man, what about me?” asked Glen playfully.

“Don’t worry; I planned on taking you with me where I go. I can’t do a whole lot of good without you at my side,” I joked.

“Maybe there is someone else that you should have at your side instead?” he offered.

I shook my head and fell silent. Once again, he was right. In the past two days, I had been miserable, but it hadn’t stopped me from staying away from the shop.

I knew that the mechanics would be packing things up, and I couldn’t go back there. Not now, it was too soon. It was like returning to the scene of an accident. Amber would never forgive me for everything that I said to her.

“You know,” said Glen softly. “She probably still blames herself for what happened to Theresa. I know that you don’t want to go back to the shop, but did you think about that?”

I shook my head. I hadn’t thought about it until he had said something. I knew Amber well enough though to know that Glen was right. She was probably beating herself up trying to make things right and thinking that I was still mad at her for everything that happened.

That just wasn’t the case. I was staying away because I was the one who was wrong and that was a feeling that I wasn’t use to at all. I didn’t know how to tell someone I cared about that I was sorry.

Somehow, I knew that even after I told her, the chances of her forgiving me were pretty slim. Who would ever forgive someone after all the awful things that I had said to her? I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself. Although, Amber had continually surprised me, so if anyone had a heart of gold, it was her.

Maybe I could talk her into leaving the race and everything else in the world far behind us. Maybe she would just drop everything and go. I chuckled at the idea; Amber wasn’t the kind of girl to run away with anyone, especially an asshole like me.

“What are you going to do Desmond?” Glen asked softly.

I shook my head, “I guess I am going to go tell her I’m sorry. Even if she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again, I have to try, right?”

Glen smiled, “Whoa, I can’t believe it! You are turning into a real man, Desmond.”

I punched his arm playfully. I would need to find a way to stay in touch with Glen, even after my racing career was over. I wasn’t joking when I told him that this was my last race. I had other things in my life that needed to be taken care of. Racing was just one on a long list of things I wanted to check off before I kept going on my journey in life. I was a big believer that you should always challenge yourself.

The Grand Nevada was the final challenge in my racing career. I knew, even with Theresa down, that I would have won the race. My car and my driving skills were just that good.

I rose from the track bar and paid the tab before smiling at Glen. “Well, here goes nothing.”

He gave me thumbs up, and I sauntered out of the bar. The sandstorm was finally starting to pass, and I knew that I was going to have to pull myself from the race before they did the lineup the next morning. I just wanted to see Amber first. I knew that nothing had changed but for some reason, talking to her would be the end. I had no plans on returning to the shop after I pulled out of the race, and I owed her an apology before I left.

If I would have thought that even for one second she would’ve taken me back, I would have run to her the second I realized I was wrong. No woman, at least no woman with her kind of fire, could possibly forgive me. I didn’t want things with her to be over though. She wasn’t like other women though, once she set her mind to something, nothing would change it.

Not even a man she cared about, maybe even one she had loved at one point. I couldn’t let my feelings start to get to me now.

My phone began to vibrate as I walked through the storm, it was Amber. My heart did a little flip at seeing her name run across the screen of my phone. The picture was one of her after we had made love. She was flushed and smiling, beautiful. The coward in me continued to watch her name flash, unsure if I could answer it or not. As the ringing continued, I had to know what was going on with her. I hit the answer button.

“Hey Amber,” I said. I flinched as I heard my voice, I sounded so desperate, even with just those two words slipping from my mouth.

“Desmond!” she replied, her voice sounding cheerful and full of happiness.

It caught me off guard; I wondered if she had found another car or driver to work for. Maybe one with a chance of winning so she could still get the credit for being the winning mechanic. The jealousy inside of me flared back up. I didn’t want her working for another man. I didn’t want to think about her with another man at all. It didn’t matter if they were working or just having a drink. I wanted her to be with me, and me only. Maybe it wasn’t too late to save things with her.

“Amber, listen,” I started to say. I was frantic now for her to hear me out. “I need to talk to you; I am on my way to the shop now actually. Can you meet me there?”

She laughed, “Of course I can meet you here! Where else would I be silly?”

“What?” I said in a stunned voice. “I just assumed that you would have moved on by now, you know?”

She laughed once again, “Really? Don’t you know me at all Desmond? I don’t give up.”

“What do you mean?” I asked her, my heart filling with joy. I prayed that she had decided to give me … and us a second chance.

“Just come on down to the shop, I have a surprise for you,” she said vaguely.

“What it is?” I asked, never having been one for surprises.

I could hear the joy in her voice, “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?”

She laughed before hanging up the phone without saying anything else to me. I stared at my phone, a blank look on my face for several minutes. I had no idea what had just happened. I couldn’t even be sure that I hadn’t imagined the entire thing.

It was so strange that she would be so cheerful after everything that had happened. I didn’t know what to do but apparently my feet did as they carried me to the shop.

When I arrived outside the door, I froze. I could hear a commotion inside, and my heart was racing. I didn’t know why she wanted to see me, but I knew that I was going to have to tell her I was sorry and pray that she still wanted to give us a chance even after I had been so mean to her. She had said it herself; she wasn’t one to give up on things. I prayed that I was one of those things that she was talking about.

As I pushed open the door, all the movement inside froze. The crew looked at me and smiled. They weren’t packing up boxes anymore like I had thought that they were. No one spoke though. The further I walked in, the more they seemed to back out the rear door and give me and Amber space. I couldn’t be sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

Amber was standing next to Theresa, smiling. I looked at the two women in my life and gasped. She had given her a new paint job. That was the surprise; I was sure of it, and my heart sank.

It was a nice gesture, but without a running car, it was just a pretty toy. I would take her home and have someone fix her. I had to be grateful though for Amber’s effort. I smiled as I looked at her.

“Thanks for the paint job,” I muttered, trying to find the words to tell her how I felt.

“Oh, that’s not the surprise,” she replied with a sly smile.

Then she tossed me my keys.

“
I
t’s been
two days Desmond; you need to go talk to her,” Glen said to me.

I knew he was right; I had been avoiding Amber ever since I had verbally attacked her. I just didn’t know what I could say now to make up for everything that I had already said. She probably never wanted to see me again, and I couldn’t blame her.

Knowing Amber, she was still trying to find a way to make Theresa run, but every mechanic I had talked too had said the same thing, there was just no way without the parts. The parts would need to be custom made too.

“What am I supposed to say to her Glen?” I asked him as I drank my beer, “Sorry I was such a jerk? My dreams have been ruined.”

He laughed, it was a depressing noise. He knew as well as I did that the end was coming. It was like watching a boat sinking slowly in the middle of the ocean. Nothing could be done to save the vessel, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the destruction.

“Just because you aren’t going to win this year, doesn’t mean that you can’t try again next year,”.

I scoffed, “Actually, it does. I won’t be coming back to the racing scene. The Grand Nevada was the final race for Theresa and me both. I have other things that I need to do.”

“Man, what about me?” asked Glen playfully.

“Don’t worry; I planned on taking you with me where I go. I can’t do a whole lot of good without you at my side,” I joked.

“Maybe there is someone else that you should have at your side instead?” he offered.

I shook my head and fell silent. Once again, he was right. In the past two days, I had been miserable, but it hadn’t stopped me from staying away from the shop.

I knew that the mechanics would be packing things up, and I couldn’t go back there. Not now, it was too soon. It was like returning to the scene of an accident. Amber would never forgive me for everything that I said to her.

“You know,” said Glen softly. “She probably still blames herself for what happened to Theresa. I know that you don’t want to go back to the shop, but did you think about that?”

I shook my head. I hadn’t thought about it until he had said something. I knew Amber well enough though to know that Glen was right. She was probably beating herself up trying to make things right and thinking that I was still mad at her for everything that happened.

That just wasn’t the case. I was staying away because I was the one who was wrong and that was a feeling that I wasn’t use to at all. I didn’t know how to tell someone I cared about that I was sorry.

Somehow, I knew that even after I told her, the chances of her forgiving me were pretty slim. Who would ever forgive someone after all the awful things that I had said to her? I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself. Although, Amber had continually surprised me, so if anyone had a heart of gold, it was her.

Maybe I could talk her into leaving the race and everything else in the world far behind us. Maybe she would just drop everything and go. I chuckled at the idea; Amber wasn’t the kind of girl to run away with anyone, especially an asshole like me.

“What are you going to do Desmond?” Glen asked softly.

I shook my head, “I guess I am going to go tell her I’m sorry. Even if she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again, I have to try, right?”

Glen smiled, “Whoa, I can’t believe it! You are turning into a real man, Desmond.”

I punched his arm playfully. I would need to find a way to stay in touch with Glen, even after my racing career was over. I wasn’t joking when I told him that this was my last race. I had other things in my life that needed to be taken care of. Racing was just one on a long list of things I wanted to check off before I kept going on my journey in life. I was a big believer that you should always challenge yourself.

The Grand Nevada was the final challenge in my racing career. I knew, even with Theresa down, that I would have won the race. My car and my driving skills were just that good.

I rose from the track bar and paid the tab before smiling at Glen. “Well, here goes nothing.”

He gave me thumbs up, and I sauntered out of the bar. The sandstorm was finally starting to pass, and I knew that I was going to have to pull myself from the race before they did the lineup the next morning. I just wanted to see Amber first. I knew that nothing had changed but for some reason, talking to her would be the end. I had no plans on returning to the shop after I pulled out of the race, and I owed her an apology before I left.

If I would have thought that even for one second she would’ve taken me back, I would have run to her the second I realized I was wrong. No woman, at least no woman with her kind of fire, could possibly forgive me. I didn’t want things with her to be over though. She wasn’t like other women though, once she set her mind to something, nothing would change it.

Not even a man she cared about, maybe even one she had loved at one point. I couldn’t let my feelings start to get to me now.

My phone began to vibrate as I walked through the storm, it was Amber. My heart did a little flip at seeing her name run across the screen of my phone. The picture was one of her after we had made love. She was flushed and smiling, beautiful. The coward in me continued to watch her name flash, unsure if I could answer it or not. As the ringing continued, I had to know what was going on with her. I hit the answer button.

“Hey Amber,” I said. I flinched as I heard my voice, I sounded so desperate, even with just those two words slipping from my mouth.

“Desmond!” she replied, her voice sounding cheerful and full of happiness.

It caught me off guard; I wondered if she had found another car or driver to work for. Maybe one with a chance of winning so she could still get the credit for being the winning mechanic. The jealousy inside of me flared back up. I didn’t want her working for another man. I didn’t want to think about her with another man at all. It didn’t matter if they were working or just having a drink. I wanted her to be with me, and me only. Maybe it wasn’t too late to save things with her.

“Amber, listen,” I started to say. I was frantic now for her to hear me out. “I need to talk to you; I am on my way to the shop now actually. Can you meet me there?”

She laughed, “Of course I can meet you here! Where else would I be silly?”

“What?” I said in a stunned voice. “I just assumed that you would have moved on by now, you know?”

She laughed once again, “Really? Don’t you know me at all Desmond? I don’t give up.”

“What do you mean?” I asked her, my heart filling with joy. I prayed that she had decided to give me … and us a second chance.

“Just come on down to the shop, I have a surprise for you,” she said vaguely.

“What it is?” I asked, never having been one for surprises.

I could hear the joy in her voice, “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?”

She laughed before hanging up the phone without saying anything else to me. I stared at my phone, a blank look on my face for several minutes. I had no idea what had just happened. I couldn’t even be sure that I hadn’t imagined the entire thing.

It was so strange that she would be so cheerful after everything that had happened. I didn’t know what to do but apparently my feet did as they carried me to the shop.

When I arrived outside the door, I froze. I could hear a commotion inside, and my heart was racing. I didn’t know why she wanted to see me, but I knew that I was going to have to tell her I was sorry and pray that she still wanted to give us a chance even after I had been so mean to her. She had said it herself; she wasn’t one to give up on things. I prayed that I was one of those things that she was talking about.

As I pushed open the door, all the movement inside froze. The crew looked at me and smiled. They weren’t packing up boxes anymore like I had thought that they were. No one spoke though. The further I walked in, the more they seemed to back out the rear door and give me and Amber space. I couldn’t be sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

Amber was standing next to Theresa, smiling. I looked at the two women in my life and gasped. She had given her a new paint job. That was the surprise; I was sure of it, and my heart sank.

It was a nice gesture, but without a running car, it was just a pretty toy. I would take her home and have someone fix her. I had to be grateful though for Amber’s effort. I smiled as I looked at her.

“Thanks for the paint job,” I muttered, trying to find the words to tell her how I felt.

“Oh, that’s not the surprise,” she replied with a sly smile.

Then she tossed me my keys.