Authors: Cynthia Freeman
Catherine was brought up sharply from her long excursion into the past by a persistent knock on the door. She rallied herself to the occasion and barefooted, went to open it. There stood Mrs. Van Muir ready to wheel in the dinner cart. The room was in total darkness. Quickly, Catherine switched on the bedside lamp.
“How are you this evening, Mrs. Rossi?” Mrs. Van Muir asked, full of solicitude.
“Just fine,” Catherine answered trying not to reveal her inner turmoil. Casually, she asked, “Did anyone inquire about me?”
“No … no, there were no calls.”
Damn it all … have a family, a husband, and nobody gives a damn. She could be lying at the bottom of Grand Canyon as far as any of them were concerned. When Mrs. Van Muir left, Catherine poured herself a large glass of wine and sat down to dinner. It was really the only solace she had at this moment. Removing the silver domes from the platters, she sniffed. The roast beef was done to perfection with all the au jus gravy poured over it, the small new potatoes, buttered and parsleyed, made her pick one up and bite into it as she observed the salad and soup. The hot rolls smelled yeasty and fragrant and at last … at long last, there it sat as cozy as anything, a chocolate frosted napoleon. The only thing that was missing was a little soft music and candlelight.
That
she couldn’t accommodate herself with, but she turned on the radio. It played softly as she launched into the salad … so crisp, the dressing was positively fabulous. She’d have to ask for the ingredients. The soup was one of her favorites, vichyssoise, cold and subtle. The rest of the dinner was sheer ambrosia and the pièce de résistance, the dessert, so flaky and delicate. Nothing like a scrumptious dinner, polished off with cognac to soothe the savage soul, was there … no, nothing, except a husband to share it with … Goddamn it, Dominic, get out of my thoughts. That’s all I’ve done in the last hours is think about how nice it might’ve been if you were only content to be like other husbands, coming home after a hard day at the office and shuttin’ out the world … but not you … always runnin’ after another dream, reachin’ for a higher star. You should’ve been the first man on the moon. And you could’ve, without Cape Canaveral. She settled back in the large chair and sipped the cognac, but Dominic still was there to haunt her. What the hell was he doing tonight? Wasn’t he the least little bit worried about why she hadn’t followed him to San Diego?
Calm down,
Catherine, the little voice within her sounded loud and clear … it was like the Mahony boys running after her with pitchforks. Times have changed, Catherine … not like it was a few years ago when you’d go dashin’ off to the Farm trying to punish Dominic for his negligence … or screamin’ and threatenin’ you were goin’ back home to New Orleans … then waitin’ for him to call, which he finally usually did after a week … naturally angry in the beginnin’ because he said you were drivin’ him out of his mind. But did that make me feel guilty? Not a bit. Why? I’ll tell you … for two reasons. First the children were all grown and second I no longer had to worry about him havin’ a lady love in his life ’cause once he got hooked on politics he neither had the time … the urge … nor would he risk the chance of any possible scandal … not like some, I’ll say that for him … One thing about Dominic, he’s a man with a hell of a lot of discipline when it comes to somethin’ he wants and he wanted to be a politician and eventually a United States senator no one could point a finger at … untainted, no stains, that’s our Dominic … wouldn’t jeopardize his name for no one or nothin’. Yes siree, so I guess for that reason I took him for granted in these last years, not having to worry about where he was spending his nights. Oh come, Catherine, give the devil his due… He was never really a card-carryin’, dyed-in-the-wool womanizer. So that’s not what’s botherin’ you at this moment … no … what’s botherin’ me is that he would never face the fact that I’d pleaded with him not to get involved in politics. I said it would be bad for our home life … I told him. Did he listen? No. But I have to reiterate … it’s a man’s world, and that’s for damn sure. I’m askin’ what do you do when you try to make a man realize he’s destroyin’ you with his strength, self-importance and ambition. Well, I’ll tell you, my darlin’, you do a lot of crazy foolish things when you’re dealin’ with a fool … and I say he is a fool, because he traded me for the limelight and tried to push me aside when he could’ve had the world in me and the children. We could’ve been like a safe harbor. But here I am, ramblin’ on and on like I was losin’ my mind. I don’t know, sometimes I think I am … I get so aggravated when I think nothin’ I ever did worked … like leavin’ Dominic when he started in politics to come to the Farm … I’ll never forget the first time … I really had him … because he was frightened … a politician needs a wife and I had the advantage over him but was too dumb to see it … that was the time, yes, sir … I could’ve said, look, I’ll make a deal with you, Dominic, give up the race and I’ll come home and you wouldn’t have to be beggin’ anymore … or if you don’t, I’m
through
with you … Hear? But did I say that … ? No. When he called I acted just like any other woman, but I was so damned lonesome hearing the sound of his voice sayin’ “Catherine, come on home and we’ll talk about it. In fact, we’ll do more than talk. I’m taking you to Rome and I don’t want you to say
no
—not this time.” Maybe
this
just might be a new beginnin’ … except the grapes don’t get sweeter just ’cause they been hangin’ on the vine a long time … imagine, him sayin’ that just threw me into a state of complete confusion. I wasn’t thinkin’ straight. If I was, I would’ve stuck to my guns and held my ground. But no, dumb dodo that I was, I succumbed. “I don’t want you to say no …” That’s all it took and there I was goin’ home … where did it get me? Back to the Farm after that glorious Roman holiday … with my little ass in a sling. You know why? Because the trip didn’t solve a thing … and now it’s like the boy who called wolf just once too often. My goin’ away no longer disturbs Dominic like it did in the beginnin’… That’s why he hasn’t bothered to inquire about me. You don’t think it hurts? It sure as hell does, ’cause I’m just not important to him any longer in any way … and that doesn’t lift a lady’s spirits, now does it? Well, Dominic … you don’t know it yet, but I got a great big surprise in store for you. This is a new ball game. Slightly embarrassed, red-faced and plenty ashamed you’re gonna be when it comes out how I’ve been abused and mistreated. Everybody’s gonna know who I am … make no mistake about that, Dominic, my darlin’ … so you can look all you want after you’ve come to the realization I’m really playin’ for keeps this time … I won’t come back, if and when you simmer down long enough to realize I’m missin’ … not this time … not if I have to wait until hell freezes over.
Catherine’s righteous indignation really boiled over the more she thought about it. She had to get out of here … everything was choking her. Quickly, she changed into a sleeveless dress, flats, and ran from the room … then from the building and finally into the Mercedes and away in a cloud of dust until she disappeared onto the main road where she drove and drove for miles. By the time Catherine returned to her room, she was weary, but much of the frustrations and hostilities she had felt earlier were dispelled. After drawing the bath, she poured herself a glass of wine, sipped as she went back into the bathroom and undressed, then slipped into the bubbles that covered her slightly plump body and there she found comfort as she reached for the glass of wine that had been placed on the edge of the tub and continued to drink slowly. Relaxed, she dried herself, applied some night cream, then slipped into bed. It was one o’clock before she turned off the bedside lamp and fell asleep almost immediately. At four, she awoke from a dream which she couldn’t remember, but it had been dreadful, and now she lay wide awake in the dark. It was impossible to turn off the avalanche of thoughts that invaded her mind … and they took her back to that mansion perched on the edge of a cliff overlooking San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. She would never forget seeing it for the first time. It was magnificent with all its nine bedrooms, plus maids’ quarters. The marble foyer with its imposing, regal, winding staircase … that enormous living room with the solarium adjacent … then across to the dining room, a perfect size for a family as large as they had acquired … and the kitchen was almost as large as the dining room, but the garden was the thing that Catherine loved almost more than anything. Although there was nothing about it that resembled that garden back home, somehow being in front and enclosed by a high brick wall, the beautiful trees and shrubs which sheltered it from the winds that came off the bay, made her pause reflectively. This was the house of her dreams and she was going to have it. She was expecting her seventh child and the house on Scott had become obsolete long ago. Not only had she loathed it from the beginning, but it had only five bedrooms.
Dominic’s practice had grown tremendously in the ten years since their marriage, so that he was on his way to becoming not only a man of wealth, much of which he invested in property, but an outstanding attorney who had acquired a reputation as probably one of the best corporation lawyers in the country. Now, Catherine wouldn’t wait any longer … she bought the house without Dominic knowing it or seeing it; in fact, negotiated a very good deal on the price. She knew there was going to be a confrontation, but was ready for it. This time, Dominic wasn’t going to force her into a compromise as he had done in the past with the old house and she knew if she had shown it to him in advance, he would have tried, since it really was a little more than he could afford at this time, in spite of the fact he was doing so well. But so what, they were going to live in it for the rest of their lives.
Catherine waited for what she felt would be the best psychological time (which Mama had always said was at the height of a man’s passion and Mama’s advice seemed extremely sensible in this case) … so that night, she made sure her femininity was alluring. She bathed and drenched herself with perfume, put on her most exquisite sheer gown, looked at herself sideways in the long mirror … her tummy was still fairly flat, although she was close to four months pregnant. Her hair hung below her shoulders (which was the way Dominic loved it … in fact, he said when she wore it loose, it made him sexy as all hell). She got into bed alongside of Dominic and snuggled close to him, ran her fingers through his hair, then gently down his back. Soon the desired results of all her attentions were felt as they shared that rapturous moment. Just at the culmination of their sharing, Catherine held Dominic even closer and whispered, “I love you, I really do.”
And Dominic answered in staccato whispers, “I love you, too, darling.”
Catherine whispered breathlessly, “Do you really?”
“Oh, yes,
mia cara.”
“Would you give me anything I wanted?”
“I’d buy you the world.”
“Would you really, my Dominic?”
“Oh, yes … yes … yes … yes … yessss.”
After they lay quietly for a while, Catherine said, “You’ve made me so happy darlin’, you really have.”
“That makes me happy, Catherine, knowing you’re content.”
“Oh, I’m more than content, I’m positively ecstatic … there aren’t many women whose husbands would give them the world, especially since there’s just one.”
“I would, if I could, believe me.”
“Oh, I believe you, Dominic, but I think that would be a little too expensive … even for you. So you know what I did?”
“No, what?”
“I let you buy me a new house instead—who needs the world?”
Dominic thought for a moment, then laughed, “I don’t get it … you let
me
buy
you
a new house?”
“That’s right, darlin’, you don’t know it yet, but you bought me a house today.”
Dominic moved his arm away, switched on the light and struck the same pose he had so many times in their married life. Up on his elbow with his hand cupped around his chin, looking at Catherine as though he were afraid to ask what it was that she had done. Finally, he asked, “Okay, let’s hear what this is about?”
“I just told you, Dominic, we’ve got a new house.”
“We’ve … got a new … house?”
“That’s right, darlin’.”
Dominic bit his lower lip, “Alright, let’s start from the beginning … slowly.”
“There’s nothing much to tell, Dominic. This house is simply too small for us … it has been for a long time, you know that and I haven’t complained till now, so I saw a house I knew would be perfect and bought it … that is, I put down a large payment and have made arrangements for the loan which, of course, you’re gonna have to sign because of those crazy community laws you got in this awful state.”
“You did
what?”
Dominic exploded.
“I just got through tellin’ you, Dom, just as slowly as I could … we got a new house.”
Dominic jumped out of bed. The muscles in his jaw tightened as he began to breathe hard and pace the floor. Finally, he turned and stood staring down at Catherine, the anger written clearly in his eyes. Mama was right, but Catherine was wrong. Her timing had been bad … she should’ve told him in the midst of their rapturous moment when he was on fire with lust. Catherine had never seen him quite so furious, and for a moment she recoiled within herself, but just as quickly she rallied to the occasion. Once and for all, he was going to understand that everything was not going to be his way so she stood her ground when he screamed, “Goddamn it, Catherine, how could you do such a thing as buying a house without my knowledge or permission?”
“What do you mean
your
permission? Since when am I chattel … you don’t own me … they freed the slaves a long time ago.”
“You little bitch, didn’t you think I should have been consulted?”
“No,
I did not,
because if I had, it would’ve been the same as before and don’t you
ever … ever
call me a bitch again … you hear? Why, I have to laugh … just a few minutes ago you wanted to buy me the world and now you’re blowin’ your brains out because I asked for a new house.”