Ex’s and Oh’s (12 page)

“Are you dieting, too?” Pattie asked.

Elaine started guiltily. “It never hurts to look one’s best.”

Which may or may not have meant she was going to give Justin the boot and move on to a more peaceful life, or at least one in which she was respected. At this point, Caroline couldn’t be sure what Elaine was going to do.

Pattie said, “Make mine the same. And keep the coffee coming, would you?” She glanced at the others. “Molly kept the whole house awake most of the night. She had another earache.”

Handing the waiter her menu, Caroline said, “I think I’d like the salmon with cucumber sauce and a glass of skim milk, please.” She shrugged. “I’m supposed to eat more calcium.”

Nell was next. “I’ll have the baked lasagna and a side of fettuccine Alfredo and also stuffed manicotti. Screw this diet. I’m starving.”

The waiter came to Tori again. “And what would you like?”

When she looked him up and down suggestively, Pattie
nudged Elaine, who nudged Nell. Caroline was already watching the silent exchange.

Easing her hair behind her shoulder in a manner that made every ring on her finger flash, Tori said, “I’ll have the spinach fettuccine and a glass of your best chardonnay.”

He didn’t write it down. And he didn’t leave.

“Why did you take my order last?” she asked.

“You seem like the kind of woman who appreciates prolonging a good thing.”

The man was older than the average area waiters, which meant he was out of college. Actually, he looked thirtyish, and didn’t seem any more self-conscious about the steamy undercurrents than Tori did. “Would you care for anything else?” he asked.

“I’ll let you know.” She smiled.

The minute he left the table, Nell said, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

Pattie said, “I was waiting for him to ask you if you were ordering the spinach because you were saving the meat for later.”

Caroline almost choked on her ice water.

Pushing her bangs to one side, Elaine said, “Are you going to leave your number on the check?”

Tori shook her head.

“Why not?” three out of the other four said at once.

“I’m pretty much sated.”

They all leaned ahead, elbows resting on the table.

“You’ve met someone?” Elaine asked.

“You might say that.”

“Are you going to see him again?” This time it was Nell who voiced everyone’s question.

“I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.” Tori looked in the direction the waiter had gone. Eyeing the others around the table, she said, “Hey, you could have changed your wishes.”

“I’m telling you,” Nell said, reaching for a warm bread stick, “Tori emits pheromones.”

“Forget about pheromones,” Tori said, “we’re celebrating Caroline’s new lease, not my latest, um, encounter.” She held up her water glass. “To surprises.”

“Good ones,” Nell said, raising her glass, too. “The kind that make you say ‘Oh, my!’”

“Not ‘Oh, dear,’” Pattie said, yawning.

“Or ‘Oh, crap,’” Elaine grumbled.

“To surprises,” Caroline repeated, looking once more at the ultrasound image of her baby.

It was the middle of July. She would be ready to see clients in another month, two at the most. She was enjoying the pace in Harbor Woods. In fact, she liked the small-town atmosphere, and the way it had imploded with
thousands of tourists and vacationers. There was little in the way of theater here, but Elaine and Tori assured her there were some fine off-off-Broadway plays in Traverse City. They insisted they would have to go soon, before Caroline entered her last trimester, and needed to visit the restroom every five minutes.

Caroline had never considered herself earthy, far from it, and yet just the other evening she’d happened to mention that the baby was kickboxing, and suddenly there were four pairs of hands on her abdomen. Every week she felt more a part of their circle.

She had satisfied nearly everything on her mental check list. She’d come to Harbor Woods and discovered Karl—although she was terribly worried about him. She’d made friends and had found a place to live. Soon, she would open her new law practice. Her life was unfolding. She never knew what the new day would bring, but more and more she felt certain she would be able to handle whatever came her way.

Caroline stopped on the pier to empty the sand from her Magli sandals. Bit by bit, the marina was waking up.

Waves washed onto the beach, flattening all that remained of a sand castle built the previous day. The early birds were up, as were the early-morning fishermen heading out
to deep water. She’d encountered a few dog walkers on her way, and wondered if Shane would even be awake.

Her bag was packed, her gas tank full, her summerhouse locked up tight. There was one more thing she had to do before she left town.

She could see a light on through the port hole window. Since boats didn’t have front doors, she knocked on the window.

He came out stretching and shrugging into a wrinkled T-shirt, his hair still wet. He took one look at her pale yellow pants and slightly clingy maternity top, and said, “Going someplace?”

“I have to go back to Chicago to take care of some things. I hate the thought of leaving Karl, but this has to be done, and soon.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Three or four days. Five at the most.”

She looked past Shane where clouds gathered near the horizon. A storm was reportedly moving across the lake. If her grandfather were still alive, he would have been watching the storm from the double French doors in his living room. She wondered what he’d thought about as he’d watched it rain. She imagined he’d been thinking about the past, and Anna, and Caroline’s mother. Perhaps, once or twice, he’d been remembering climbing a water
tower and writing something scandalous about a teacher he and his best friend hadn’t liked.

“I’m ready to go,” she said. “But I couldn’t leave without telling you.”

She could feel him watching her. The air was charged with something nearly as palpable as the approaching storm. “I’m worried about leaving Karl. I wouldn’t go if I had a choice, but I have to make arrangements for the sale of my grandfather’s house.” She was rambling, and she made herself stop.

“I’ll finish the book you’re reading to Karl, Caroline. And I’ll call you if there’s any change.”

Just like that, he put her mind at ease. She gave him a card containing her cell-phone number. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Have a safe trip home.”

“Thanks. I’ll try.” These past few weeks Caroline had come to trust Shane. He was decent and honorable. Sometimes she wondered if Tori ever regretted divorcing him. It seemed to Caroline that regrets were part of life. The way growth and change were part of life. As she made her way to her car, she hoped she wouldn’t encounter any surprises when she got to Chicago, or when she returned.

Caroline
stepped out of the way as the professional movers carried the last of the antique furniture out the front door. For two days, her grandfather’s house in Lake Forest had been turned into an arena for a stately auction run by a well-known Chicago auction house. Everything had gone exactly as planned. In fact, the only surprise so far had been the amount some of the pieces brought.

The artwork Caroline hadn’t wanted to keep had been consigned to a local gallery. The antiques that hadn’t brought fair market value had been consigned to a reputable antiques dealer.

In the two months Caroline had been gone, she’d made inquiries and phone calls, and arranged for appraisals. She’d researched, interviewed and handled everything prior to today’s final estate auction sale. Now, that was over, too.

She closed the front door, the heels of her Vera Wangs clicking over the parquet floor in the foyer, the sound
echoing through the nearly empty house. Turning in a half circle, memories came to her from every direction. There she was at nine, bowing after her first piano recital. And there she was on the stairs before her high-school prom. And a few months later she’d stood at the front door, her cases loaded with everything she would need for her freshman year at Notre Dame. In the background in every memory stood Henry O’Shaughnessy, a quiet, steadfast, prideful presence. It was still impossible to fathom that he was gone.

The Aubusson rug, the Louis XIV dresser, her grandfather’s favorite leather chair, and the other items she hadn’t been able to part with were in storage. The house was empty without them, without him. The For Sale sign would go up first thing Monday morning. She was doing the right thing by selling the house.

Wouldn’t Tori have loved to get her hands on a piece of property like this one? It was amazing how many times Caroline had thought of her friends these past three days. She’d spoken with Maria her first night in town. Lo and behold, her grandfather’s former housekeeper was enrolled in summer semester at the local college. Life had a way of changing in the most surprising ways.

Upstairs, Caroline paused in the doorway of her grandfather’s bedroom where a lamp, an old trunk and a stack
of books, on top of which rested his reading glasses, were all that remained. With a hand resting on the rounding swell where her flat stomach used to be, she opened the attic door.

If she’d thought the downstairs echoed, it was nothing compared to the emptiness up here. The cleaning service had been very thorough. Even the dust that had floated on the air was gone. The only item left was the old desk in which she’d discovered that tin containing Anna’s letter. It wasn’t an antique, but Caroline hadn’t been able to bear to let it go. She hadn’t decided what to do with it.

There was no ventilation in the attic; the air was so hot it was difficult to breathe. Having no reason to linger, she retraced her steps down two flights of stairs. At the bottom, she didn’t know where to turn.

She went to the French doors in the living room. Had it only been three months since she’d stood in exactly this spot, searching for a way to tell Steven about the baby?

Sometimes she wondered what would have happened if she’d gone first that day. Fate had stepped in. Looking out at the sky still gray after the past two days’ rain, Caroline had never been so relieved about anything in her life.

Fate was an amazing thing.

Besides, what good would have been served in telling Steven? She probably wouldn’t have left Chicago. She
wouldn’t have discovered Karl. She wouldn’t have shared morning tea or heard all his snippets of poignant memories. She wouldn’t have met the girls, or leased space for her new law practice. She wouldn’t have met Shane, either. She hadn’t heard from him. In this case, no news was good news.

Now that she had the new perspective of time and distance, she found that Harbor Woods wasn’t so different from Lake Forest. Lake Forest was by far larger, and its proximity to Chicago made it far more prime real estate. But the houses in both cities were old, stately and charming. And yet it seemed lifeless here.

Caroline realized it wasn’t the city that was lifeless. It was that her life was no longer here.

The final movers were due to arrive in an hour. She didn’t have any idea how to pass the time. There was no work in her briefcase, and literally no one to visit or call nearby.

How could she have lived in Chicago for thirty-five years and know no one? Well, no one special. She could have rattled off the names of a hundred people she knew here. And yet there wasn’t one person she could call to while away an hour.

Her stomach rumbled. That was certainly no surprise. She seemed to be hungry a lot lately. The cupboards and
refrigerator were empty. It was the middle of the day, too early for dinner and too late for lunch. A craving came out of nowhere.

Grabbing her purse and keys, she was off.

Delights Ice Cream Parlor hadn’t changed in thirty-five years. Her grandfather used to bring her here after piano lessons and chess club. The parlor was old-fashioned, boasting glass-topped tables and wrought-iron chairs. It was Saturday, and it was crowded. Parents and their children claimed most of the tables, but one held a group of six women. Ordering a strawberry ice-cream cone, Caroline found herself studying them. They looked as different from each other as she, Nell, Elaine, Pattie and Tori probably looked to strangers. Their laughter, however, was the same.

Sitting by herself at a table near the back of the room, she licked her ice-cream cone and tried to decide what flavors the girls would be ordering if they were here. Pattie would order something healthy, like frozen yogurt. Elaine would probably want some pragmatic flavor like vanilla. Nell would have to have double-mocha fudge. It was hard to know what Tori would be in the mood for. One day she might want mint chocolate-chip and the next she’d munch on celery instead.

Suddenly a little boy and girl dressed alike dashed past
her toward the open door. The frantic mother scooped up the little girl, but the boy slipped out of her reach. Without thinking, Caroline grabbed him up before he reached the door. He let out a screech as if this were a game, and Caroline found herself laughing, too.

She’d never done that before. Until recently, she’d rarely noticed children. “Twins?” she asked, handing the child back to his mother.

“Lord, yes. They’re almost three. Thank you.”

“They’re both adorable.” Caroline smiled into the most chocolaty faces she’d ever seen.

The commotion had drawn an audience. She was about to return to her seat and slip out of her shoes when she noticed someone watching her across the room. Something about the shape of his head and the silver in his hair drew her attention a second time.

Steven.

Sourness settled to the pit of her stomach. Two young boys and a petite woman with short blond hair stood in front of him, busily ordering their ice cream.

Caroline could feel the color draining from her face, past the charm at her throat. It seemed to pool in the pit of her stomach. Before her discomfiture became obvious to everyone, she gave him a small smile, the kind she would have given any acquaintance, then returned to her seat.

As soon as she could do so without it appearing cowardly, she walked straight out the door.

There were roughly three million people living in greater Chicago. So of course it stood to reason she would run into the last person she wanted to see.

He wouldn’t come here.

Caroline paced from one end of her grandfather’s house to the other. Of course Steven wouldn’t come here. Her dress had been loose fitting. He probably hadn’t noticed what was underneath it. Besides, he’d been with Brenda and the boys. No, he wouldn’t show up at her door.

What would she say to him if he did?

She drew a complete blank.

It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t come.

The movers were due to arrive at three. As soon as they finished, she would leave.

The doorbell chimed.

Rather than hurrying to open it, she looked at her watch. It was fifteen to. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Movers were notoriously late, not early. She knew before she opened the door who it would be.

Steven stood on the front stoop. He looked extremely polished and well dressed, urban, and he was also obviously shocked.

“Steven. This is a surprise.”

“Is it?”

Of course it wasn’t. That wasn’t the point. No matter how much she’d reassured herself to the contrary, she’d known this moment would come the instant she saw him across that parlor. Steven Phillips wasn’t one to let a sleeping dog lie. Cringing, she looked past him to his car.

“I’m alone. I dropped Brenda and the boys at the mall. May I come in?”

No, she thought. “Certainly,” she said, stepping back. “I would offer you a seat, but as you can see, the place is fairly empty.”

“Standing is fine with me.”

Meeting his eyes levelly, she said, “What brings you to Lake Forest?”

“Brenda and I are looking at houses in the area.”

“You’re moving out of the city?”

“Brenda has researched the suburbs. The school system here comes highly recommended.”

“I can vouch for that. This house isn’t on the market yet, however.”

“I’m not interested in purchasing your grandfather’s house, Caroline.”

Silence.

Nerves churned in her stomach. It had been a long day.
A long week. Her feet hurt. The pale yellow dress was one of her favorites, but there was a chocolate smudge on the short sleeve from a child’s little hand. She probably looked a mess. She had a long drive ahead of her, and she wanted to go get out of Chicago before the traffic became unbearable.

“I was surprised to see you at the ice-cream parlor,” he said. “I wasn’t aware you’d returned to Chicago.”

Oh, no he didn’t. He wasn’t intimidating her with that piercing stare.

“I only returned to put my grandfather’s estate in order. Brenda and the boys looked well.”

“I don’t think she saw you.”

Steven was a bull-dog in court. It was obvious who was in charge at home. Caroline couldn’t believe she’d ever been remotely attracted to him.

She caught him looking at her bare ring finger, and then at her midsection. Finally, he looked her in the eye. “What’s going on, Caroline?”

“What do you mean?”

“You take a leave of absence from the firm, leave Chicago on a whim, then resign from Hilliard, Ross and Whitley via long-distance. You’ve told no one you were going to have a child.”

“I’ve told people, Steven.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

She knew what was coming. Before he accused her of anything, she said, “So. Now you assume it’s your child?”

“Is it?”

Neither of them had moved from the foyer, and their voices echoed in the nearly empty house. It occurred to her that this would be one of the last conversations she would have here. She wished it could have been a more pleasant one.

“Tell me, Steven, what would Brenda say about that?” He wasn’t the only one who could be a bulldog.

“Let’s leave Brenda out of this.”

He was the one who mentioned her every few seconds. “You nearly missed me,” she said. “The movers will be here any minute to take the last of my grandfather’s things.”

“I need to know, Caroline, for peace of mind, if nothing else.”

Peace of mind. That rankled. “It isn’t like you to jump to conclusions, Steven.”

“That’s right. It isn’t. This is the worst possible time this could have happened. It isn’t exactly the sort of thing conducive to saving my marriage. If it’s mine, you should have told me in the beginning. We could have discussed your options when we had still had options. What am I supposed to tell Brenda? What about the boys?”

Caroline harbored no illusions about Steven, about his feelings for her or her baby, but if he didn’t stop being so damn considerate of Brenda and his boys, she was going to have to wrap her fingers around his skinny neck and choke him. “Don’t tell them anything.”

“Do you want me to pretend I didn’t see you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then you expect me to turn around and walk away with
don’t tell them anything?
” he asked, his tone growing more severe.

“Yes, I do.”

“Then it isn’t mine?”

For a moment, she hated him for sounding so damn hopeful.

“Can you look me in the eye and say it, Caroline?”

Struggling with her uncertainty, Caroline looked him in the eye. A sense of calm came over her, and she heard herself utter the last thing she’d expected to say.