Every Heart (14 page)

Instead, fate had a different hand of cards laid out for me. Anything I’d ever dreamed of was washed away. My future was erased as if my past never existed. The person I once was vanished, and now here I sit at his grave, trying to make sense of how I ended up in this whole mess of what I call my life.

Today my emotions are replaced with anger. An anger so big and heavy that it scares the shit out of me.

I know any day the military will be removing my grave. It was a mistake in the first place to have it put here, when I am certainly
not
dead. But today something brought me here. I guess inside I wanted to say goodbye. Goodbye to the Nate I used to be. Goodbye to the memories, of him and the person he was. He is long gone and not coming back. Although this is an extremely hard pill to swallow, I have to do it.

Staring at the white headstone, reading my name over and over, I say a silent prayer. Leaving everything I ever knew in the past. I ask God for a sign that what I am doing is right and instantaneously a huge hawk flies over my head, squawking as he does. I look up to see his wings spread wide, a mixture of light and dark. I watch as he silently glides away and wish that could be me. I would give anything in the world to leave my life behind, to be free of my obsession with Arion.

“I’d like to schedule an appointment for a prosthetic.”

The woman on the other end of the line rambles on about the process. Then proceeds to tell me how busy they are.

“That’s three weeks away…you have got to be kidding me.”

I guess it’s sooner than not having an appointment at all. “Sure, that’ll work,” I respond.

We wrap up the call just as there is a knock at the door. I get up and answer it. To my surprise, my utter surprise, it’s one of my friends from boot camp. I’ve talked on the phone with him a few times, but he lives out of state, so to see him here shocks me.

“Nash?” I ask him, just to make sure my eyes aren’t deceiving me.

“It’s me. How the hell are you?” he asks.

“Uhhh, okay,” I say shrugging my shoulders and gesture him inside. He pats me on the back and I close the front door, walking back to the couch. “What brings you to town, man?”

“Actually, I just moved here with my girlfriend.”

“No shit. That’s awesome. How are things with her?”

“Good, really good. We’re getting serious. How about you?”

“I’ve been better. Things have been hard.”

“Did you end up talking to your girl?”

“Yeah, I saw her and we talked.”

“And…?” He looks me straight in the eye.

“Let’s just say she’s not my girl anymore. She’s really happy in the relationship she’s in.”

“Damn, that’s horrible, I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is. She’s not mine, I could sense it all along. I’m just praying that things will change. I’ll always love her.

“I’m sorry, bro. I know how much she meant to you. She’s all you used to talk about.”

“There’s nothing that I can do about it. Enough about me, I didn’t know your girl lived here,” I say changing the subject, in hopes that he won’t bring up Arion again.

“She didn’t used to, but her work recently transferred her here so I came along for the ride.”

“Ahhh, I see. Still not taking life seriously”

“Oh, I am. I’m going to open a gym; I just have to find the right space. Speaking of which, you should come with me and work out sometime.”

I can’t contain the laugh inside of me. I am in no shape to be in a gym. I couldn’t imagine the way that people would stare at me. “I think I’m probably the last person that you should ask to work out with.”

“Why?” he asks me point blank.

“Uhhhh, because of my leg. Plus, I’ve been lifting some dumbbells here and it’s been a struggle.”

“Nate, I don’t give a shit about your leg and you shouldn’t either.” I nod my head looking down at myself. “Nate, tell me what it is that you do every day?”

Breaking eye contact with him, I look around. “Uhhh, it depends on the day. I have a lot of doctors appointments and—”

He cuts me off. “Don’t bullshit me. I can see it in your eyes you’re lying.”

His accusation makes me feel extremely nervous and I’m not sure how to handle the question honestly. All I do is obsess over Arion and how much I miss her.

“You don’t have to bullshit me. When I got kicked out of boot camp, it was hard to handle and that doesn’t even compare to what you’re going through. All I’m getting at is I’m your friend and I wanna help. You’ve told me yourself that you’d love to gain some weight. I can help you do that.”

“Thank you, Nash. I really appreciate that, but I can’t go into a gym like this. I have an appointment to get fitted for a prosthetic in three weeks. Once I have that, I promise I’ll give it a shot.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Dude, you were off the chain today,” LJ, one of my teammates, tells me as we change after practice.

“Thanks, bro.”

“Yeah, for sure, glad to have you back.”

“Thanks, man, I’ll see ya later.” Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I make my way out, but hear my name before I can exit.
Dammit, I just wanna get home
. Yeah, I might have played well, but I am sore as fuck.

“Good job today, Adams,” the shooting coach says as I turn around. He waves and continues walking.

“Thanks,” I say and continue on my way. I’m still confused by the staff here. Everyone has been super friendly since my return and not one person has said a word about the rumored trade to Miami.

James hasn’t called me with any news either. So I guess the motto “No news is good news” applies. Walking into the underground parking garage, there are rows and rows of town cars all lined up to take players home. I guess it’s a perk of living in New York City. Walking to Carl’s car, he smiles at me and asks, “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Sore. Exhausted.”

“Well, sit back and relax. I think you have a relaxing weekend ahead of you.”

His comment throws me off. How would he know what I am doing this weekend? Then he opens the door and my jaw slams against the pavement. “Hi, baby,” Arion says, dressed sexy as fuck and patting the seat next to her.

“What are you doing here?” I ask looking between her and Carl.

“Mr. Adams, I just listen to the orders of the missus. You really should get in if you wanna miss traffic out of the city.”

Still shocked and not able to really say much, I slide in next to Arion. She’s quite leggy in a pair of white shorts and what I wouldn’t consider to be a top.

“How was practice?” she asks, grabbing my hand and kissing it softly.

“It was fine,” I respond with my eyebrows scrunched looking at her, trying to get a read on her. “What the hell is going on?”

“I came to pick you up from work, is that okay?”

“Of course it is, but you’ve never done it before and why did Carl say we need to get going to beat traffic.”

“Oh, I booked us a beach house in the Hamptons, is that all right with you?”

“Uhhh, of course, but you know I have to be back in the city on Monday for practice.”

“I know. Carl is going to come and pick us up.”

“Why did you do this?” I ask turning my body more towards her.

“Because your birthday is tomorrow, silly.”

Holy shit, I totally spaced my own birthday. My mind has been so consumed with other things, from Nate, to the accident, to the impending sentencing for Kinsey’s killer. I guess it was the farthest thing from me.

“Jesus, you’re amazing, you know that, right?”

She nods her head and I can’t stop myself from taking my hands and grabbing her face. Staring deep into each other’s eyes, I realize just how goddamn lucky I am. She is absolutely perfect in every way.

“Keep your eyes closed.”

“I am, I am,” I respond, loving how good her small hands feel pressed so firmly against my eyes. Well, that and her body behind me.

“Okay, kneel down.”

“Ohhhh, yes, ma’am,” I respond, dropping to my knees. She giggles and then says, “I’m gonna remove my hands, but don’t open your eyes yet, okay?”

I nod my head. All of my senses are hypersensitive. I hear her little feet pad softly across the room. “Come here, baby,” she whispers and I wonder if she is talking to me.

Then she says, “Keep ’em closed, Bain.”

“I am, I am.”

“You can sit all the way down if you want.”

“Nah, I like kneeling for you.”

She chuckles. “Put your hands out.” Reaching forward, still with my eyes closed, I pray that I get her naked body.

“What the fuck, did you forget to shave?” I feel a lot of hair in my hands.

“No, open them.” I open my eyes and in front of me is a puppy. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Looking at the small creature in my hands, I am a little unsure how to react. As I sit staring at him, he does the same to me with his little, black face and green eyes.

“Does he move?” I ask her.

“Yeah, he’s just sleepy from the car ride. I gave him a Benadryl.”

“You drugged my dog?” I accuse her sarcastically.

“I needed to surprise you.”

“Fine, I guess that’s okay,” I tell her kissing her sweet lips.

“Do you like him?”

“I love him. Are you sure you’re going to be okay with a dog so soon after losing Zeus?”

Tears gloss over her eyes as she looks at me and she says, “Yeah, I’ll be good. Thank you for being concerned.”

“Of course,” I say petting the little guy.

“Ahhh, I knew you would love him. He’s funny as fuck when he’s not drugged.”

“Oh God, is he crazy?”

“No, he’s actually chill and really clumsy. I think he’s afraid of socks. He tripped on one of yours at the house and I tried to play with him with it and he hid from me.”

“He’s so perfect. Thank you, baby. How did I not see him in the car?”

“He was up front with Carl. That’s why I asked him to drive us. That and I figured it would give us some alone time.”

“Well, you should have told Carl to get a limo so I could have fucked you.”

“Yes, I’m sure he would have appreciated that. So what do you want to do this weekend?”

“Be with you and this guy,” I tell her as our pup lies down between us.

“Good, I had the fridge stocked so we shouldn’t need to leave at all. There’s a hot tub and obviously we are close to the beach.”

“Thank you, Arion, for everything. I love you so much.”

“And I…I love you.”

Lifting my hand, she stands and I follow suit. “What about the dog?”

“He’ll sleep, trust me,” she says, pulling her shirt over her head. She has no bra on and I get a full view of her bare back. Even knowing what she looks like when she turns around, still doesn’t calm my dick. It’s hard and pulsating against my pants. Then she drops her pants and has no underwear on either. I get a full view of her ass as she turns towards me at the foot of the master bed.

“You’re next,” she tells me, reaching between her legs and pleasing herself. She knows that’s my job. So as fast as I can, I undress and then change my tune. Rather than charging towards her like a caveman, I reach down and clench my cock, gripping hard at the base and pulling towards the end. She blinks a few times, caught off guard, tilting her head and slowing her movements.