Authors: Stacey Espino
Clay had always been on the road, and her three past boyfriends had all dumped her. She was either too boring, too fat, or too old. Why couldn’t Ben desire a woman like her? She remembered that heated look in his eyes at the corn roast, but it had been just the alcohol, not a genuine attraction. And besides, attraction didn’t equal a lasting bond. She knew nothing about the Richmonds beyond what was common knowledge.
“Do you want me to stay the night?” asked Grant, still warm beside her.
She wanted to scream, “
Yes, yes, yes.
” Stay forever, love her, give a shit for longer than a month. But she refused to let her insecurities out. It was better for her to be alone tonight anyhow. Come midnight she’d be thirty, an age she’d dreaded. Her mother never saw her fortieth birthday, so Kayla’s thirties were a reality check that life could end at any time. It was also very sobering knowing she was older than Grant or the Richmonds. She was honestly scared to ask by how much. If they knew the truth they’d probably cringe and find a younger woman like her last boyfriend. Charles stuck around only long enough to bag a better catch—a younger, thinner, sexier version of Kayla.
“You probably have to be up early, eh? When the rooster crows and all that?” she said. Clay was used to waking early. There was always a ton to do on a working farm. She expected it would be the same for Grant.
“Doesn’t matter. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”
She had to remember he’d come back to apologize because he wanted something more from her than sex, even though that’s exactly what had happened again. But he could hardly be held responsible. She’d wanted him just as desperately. Things weren’t quite the same now, though. What kind of man would want to settle with her after she so willingly allowed a second man to share her? Her mind was a muddle, and she needed to be alone to think.
“It’s okay. You can call me on the weekend.”
Grant sat up in the bed and twisted so his upper body was propped over her. “I’ll call on you,” he said, so close and intense. “I plan to court you proper, too. I’ve messed up so far, but I have plenty of ideas on how to make it up to you.”
“We’re adults, Grant. Things happen, and I understand that.” Kayla hoped their relationship could grow beyond flirting and sex. If not, there was no hope of a future.
* * * *
The next morning Kayla was woken up by the telephone. She jolted up in bed, thinking of Grant immediately. Her bedside alarm clock read ten o’clock in the morning.
Shit, I overslept.
Then she remembered it was Saturday…and her dreaded birthday.
“Good morning, sweet girl. You ready to come over to the house this afternoon?” It was Clay. Her brother was hard to rile, steady and reliable. She loved him more than anything. Angel was a lucky woman to be married to Clay. He’d do anything for her now that they were married.
“You picking me up? It’s a long walk to your ranch.”
“Course I will. You just make sure you’re ready when I come.” There was a brief silence on the line. “How about you let me buy you that car I was talking about? It’s about time you had a little independence.”
She didn’t want her brother spending undue money on her but also realized she must be becoming a burden now that he’d started a life of his own with Angel and Landon. They had a busy cattle ranch, plus Clay owned the feed distribution center, which was a huge responsibility. Chauffeuring her around wasn’t his responsibility.
“I’ll buy my own soon enough. But thank you.”
“Buy it with what? There’s nothing wrong with letting me buy you a car. We’ll call it a birthday present.”
“No, Clay. I have a good job now. I’ll be able to take care of myself. I’m not your little sister anymore. I’ll be okay.”
“Wrong, Kayla. You’ll always be my baby sister, and I’ll always be there for you.” She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes. Clay had always been her rock, and she was ever thankful for him. But she needed to get a life of her own now. She needed a man besides her brother to say those same words to her. “Now what job are you talking about?”
“I’m the new bookkeeper at the Richmond Ranch.”
“
Richmond
? You can do the same thing right in town at the feed store. Why you want another job?”
She knew it was his masculine pride being wounded. He didn’t like the idea of his sister working for another man, or living in a shitty apartment, or being seen in any form of negative light. “Because I can’t rely on you forever, Clay. As tempting as it may be some days to let you take care of everything, I need to be independent.”
“Again with the independent talk. For as long as I can remember you’ve wanted to do things your way.”
“And I couldn’t until now.”
Clay sighed into the phone. “Okay, I’ll pick you up at four o’clock. I love you, baby girl.”
“Love you, too, big brother.”
She hung up the phone and dropped back on her bed. The ceiling had some slight water damage. She followed the yellowing trail of stained paint along the line of the rafters. It reflected her life line. It started out pristine, not a care in the world, her parents alive and well. Then tragedy struck, putting a black mark on her life that could never be erased. It began the train of events, her life a mess of insecurity and misadventures. She’d never known the love of a good man, only heartache and insults.
Her vision reached the end of the yellowing trail on the ceiling, the paint once again white. What did that mean for her life line? Was it a beautiful façade, but underneath lacked stability and structure, leaving just a diseased mess? Or was it really on the road to recovery with good things in store for her? Kayla’s future was yet to be seen.
She rolled out of bed, her body pleasantly sore. A smile came out of nowhere as she reflected on some of the X-rated things they’d participated in last night. Daylight filtered in through her blinds as she studied herself in her full-length mirror. What had Grant and Ben seen in her? She had stretch marks on her thighs, and she didn’t even have children. Her belly was an untoned disaster. Even when she sucked it in tight, it didn’t look close to the women on the magazine covers. It would take her a lifetime in the gym to look even a fraction as good as them.
The way they looked at her, devoured her with their eyes, made her truly believe she was desirable. Ben ate her cunt like a famished man, and Grant worshiped her oversized breasts. After being knocked down almost every notch of confidence by past boyfriends, it felt heavenly to be appreciated. She needed the emotional buildup like a drug now that she’d had a taste.
She tidied up her room a bit, the scent of sex and masculine cologne still lingering on the linens. As she passed her wall calendar on her way to the bathroom for a hot shower, the date stared back at her tauntingly
. Thirty.
She told herself it was stupid to get upset about her age. Thirty wasn’t even that old these days. Clay was four years older and built like a brick house, no signs of slowing down. But age was relative, especially when she was a woman in a man’s world. Fine lines appeared around her eyes when she smiled, tempting her never to laugh again. Maybe it was just the getting-older birthday blues, but Kayla felt like shit. Dinner with Clay and his sexy, young wife was not something she was in the mood for today. But it also wasn’t healthy to mope around and waste a perfectly good day.
An idea sprung into her head. She remembered the bubbling brook with the low waterfall on the
Richmond
property. If anything could make her happy and bring her peace on her birthday, it would be spending a few hours alone with her easel in that beautiful piece of paradise. She had hours until Clay showed up, so she planned to start her long hike as soon as she’d showered and dressed.
Chapter Nine
“Where were you last night?” asked
Austin
.
Ben had taken off to return Kayla’s sweater and didn’t return until close to midnight. He’d assumed his brother had driven out to Carter’s for a few rounds of pool and a couple drinks, but he was acting aloof this morning.
“I told you. Returning that girl’s sweater.”
“You don’t remember her name?”
“Can’t say I do.” Ben had brought in rolls of dry hay from the fields to store for the winter. He’d been on the equipment all morning without complaint. This was the first time they’d been face-to-face since Ben left the house yesterday. He’d even avoided breakfast, taken off on the tractor, and not said a word.
Austin
knew something was up, but what?
“Well, did you get her sweater back to her or what?”
“Uh-huh.”
“She say anything about me?”
Austin
just couldn’t seem to be himself around Kayla. Other women weren’t as much of a problem, but there was something about the brunette that turned him into putty in her presence. He supposed it was because she was a good woman, one he could see himself choosing as a wife. The more he wanted her, the more she terrified him. He felt like a kid building up the nerve to ask his first girl on a date, terrified of rejection. But he was a full-grown man still afraid to make the move, even though he’d done it dozens of times.
Since the whole nightmare with the wheat seeds, he’d kept his guard up as once-great friends began to shun him. He couldn’t handle another back turned on him, certainly not from Kayla. Their town was in short supply of women, so he knew there must be other men with their eye on the new girl. It was one of the reasons he was eager to keep her close by hiring her as bookkeeper.
“No.”
Austin
gave Ben’s shoulder a little shove. “What the hell’s going on with you? I do something to piss you off?”
“I was at Kayla’s place most of the night,” he blurted out so fast
Austin
could barely understand him.
“What? What are you talking about?”
Ben took a few steps away and leaned against the side of the hay barn, running a hand through his hair. His younger brother looked guilt ridden. “I went to drop off her fucking sweater. That’s all I went there to do. God’s honest truth. But when I showed up, Grant answered the door. We all started talking and one thing led to another, and before we knew it we were all in bed together.”
His mind was trying to process all the gibberish coming out of Ben’s mouth. Kayla wasn’t the type of woman to jump into bed with one man, never mind two. She was respectable, which was part of his attraction to her.
“You’re telling me you’re best friends with Grant Garner again, and Kayla jumped in the sack with both of you, no questions asked?”
It had to be another one of Ben’s stunts, something to get his heart racing in the morning, nothing more. Then why did
Austin
know it was true? And furthermore, why did it cut him so deep when Kayla wasn’t even his to claim?
“It just happened. I’m sorry, okay.”
“Sorry for what? She’s not my wife. And I’m not your keeper. You can do whatever you goddamn want with your life, Benjamin Richmond.”
“Fuck, you know I hate that name.” Ben pushed off from the barn, pacing a groove into the already thin grass near the bay doors. “It should have been you there, not me. I know that. You’re the one who’s had your eye on her.”
“But you weren’t thinking with your head, just your cock. As usual. If you had a thing for her, too, you just had to say so. I’ve told you before I wouldn’t have a problem sharing a woman if you were ready to settle down. But you went and fucked her with Grant, the same man who turned his back on you.”
“For the last time, I ain’t ready to settle down, and I want nothing to do with that girl. It was a quick thrill, it’s over, and she’s all yours now.”
Ben was unusually agitated, especially when this was his mess. Hiring Kayla was part of their plan to get Austin and her closer together, separate from the town and unwelcome gossip. Now Ben had changed all the rules and ruined all their well-laid plans. He’d used that poor, sweet girl.
Austin
shoved his brother. “All mine now? I get your sloppy seconds? Or is it sloppy thirds?” Another shove.
“Don’t even try to pretend you don’t still want her,
Austin
. You don’t know whether you’re coming or going thanks to her. Maybe if you’d have manned up and told her how you felt about her, this shit never would have happened.”
“You’re actually blaming this on me? I’ve been a fucking gentleman for over a month, biding my time. Then in one night you pull everything out from under me. She’ll likely think I’m a no-good playboy, too. You think I want to grow old alone in this godforsaken town? She was a chance for me to change everything. I hope you’re happy with yourself.”
Ben stalked off, got in his pickup truck, and barreled off the property without another word.
Austin
exhaled, not sure where to focus his anger as he watched the billow of dust distancing down the dirt road. Then he decided it was best aimed in his own direction.
Ben was being Ben, a womanizer and class-act asshole when it came to women. If
Austin
wanted Kayla, he should have stopped being a pussy, afraid of her dismissal, and asked her out. But he kept putting it off until it was too late. Was Grant going to walk out on her like Ben? Was she hurt and heartbroken after what had happened, maybe realizing what she’d done was a terrible mistake? As much as he shouldn’t care, he still had feelings for the shy secretary.