Epilogue: The Dark Duet (9 page)

My rage was a living, breathing monster
in my gut and it fed on every word she’d said. I had no doubt she’d been
waiting to say those words to me since the night we’d talked on her balcony.
Did her words hurt? Yes. But they also excited me. My dick was hard and a
familiar thrumming thudded in my ears. I wanted a fight. I
needed
a fight. I was sick and tired of playing nice. I AM NOT
NICE!

I chewed my food slowly and with a
smile on my face. I watched Livvie closely. She was trying hard not to crack
under the pressure of my silence. Livvie could never handle it—
still
can’t. I could hear her breathing.
Her eyes were narrowed onto my face. If I’d been some little boy her age, I
might have worried for my safety. But I’d seen scary, and Livvie just didn’t
fit the bill. She was too sweet, too sexy.

“Aren’t you going to fucking respond?”
She was taunting me and enjoying it. Her chest rose and fell with gaining
speed. I could make out the points of her nipples through her shirt.

I swallowed my food and sipped from my
wine glass. I’d missed the familiarity of pushing Livvie’s buttons. I didn’t
want to hurt her. I’d vowed not to hurt her again. It didn’t mean I had to
become a pussy.

“You want a response, Kitten?” Fear
flickered just behind her angry stare. She shivered before she could stop it. I
took my napkin from my lap and set it on the table. Livvie watched me intently.
“Here’s my response.”

I slid my arm
across the table. Our plates, glasses, and silverware crashed onto the floor. I
stood up just in time to catch Livvie’s arm as she leapt out of her chair and
ran toward the door.

“Caleb, no!” she screamed. I put my
hand across her mouth and hoisted her with one arm. Her legs kicked out at me viciously.
Her teeth bit into my hand. Her nails dug into the flesh of my arm. The pain
only spurred me on.

I pressed her body into the wall until
she could barely move. She squirmed against me. You might hate me for it, but I
loved every second. Then again, I knew I wasn’t going to hurt her—not really.
Once I had her immobilized, I whispered into her ear.

“Don’t you think if that’s what I
wanted, I wouldn’t just do it?” She whimpered. “It would be easier for me.
You’d be mine in every way possible.” I rubbed my cock between the cheeks of
her ass. I almost came in my pants when she groaned. She struggled, but she was
barely trying.

“I could keep
you chained to the bed. I’d fuck you every night and never let you come. Only
good girls get to come, Kitten. Would you be a good girl for me?” I took my
hand away from Livvie’s mouth and smoothed her hair back so I could see the
side of her face.

“Fuck you. Let me go,” she panted. Her
tone meant business, but her body language told another story. She moved
against my cock.

We were in dangerous territory. I knew
the situation could blow up in my face, but the thrill was too strong. I
couldn’t resist. I pressed her deeper into the wall, until she gasped for
breath. I planted soft kisses against her neck.

“I’ll let you
go if you’re not wet,” I whispered into her ear.

She didn’t move. She didn’t speak.

“What, no response? Should I check?” My
heart was racing. I was afraid of going too far. I was afraid I’d
already
gone too far and didn’t know how
to come back. “Tell me to stop and I will. Tell me you don’t want me to pull your
tights down and fuck you up against this wall. Remind me of what a terrible
person I am. Tell me I’m a sick bastard and you want me out of your life
forever.”

Livvie screwed her eyes shut. Her lip
trembled, but she didn’t cry.

I softened toward her. I didn’t want to
hurt her. I loved her. I didn’t know how to do it like normal people. I didn’t
know how to tell her how scared I was. I pressed my forehead to the back of her
neck and I tried.

“Tell me I
don’t deserve you. Tell me all the things I already know.”

“Caleb…” My name was a heart-wrenching
sound coming from her lips. I prepared for the worst and began to pull away.
Livvie’s hands gripped my forearm and held me in place. “Fuck me.”

There was no time to think. I reacted.
I pulled her skirt up to her waist. I shoved her panties and tights down to her
knees. She gasped. Her hands slapped against the wall for balance. It was only
seconds before I had my own pants down to my ankles. I thrust into Livvie fast
and hard.

She was wet. She was wet and warm and
fucking heaven wrapped around me. I never wanted to leave the safety of her
body. As long as I was inside her, she was
mine
.
No one could take her from me. I couldn’t ruin things between us.

I pounded away at her. I put my hands
around her wrists and fucked her into the wall. I practically lifted her body
with every thrust… and I groveled.

“I’m sorry,
Livvie. I’m sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me.” And I kept fucking.

Afterward, Livvie left in a hurry. I
was tempted to stop her, but I didn’t. I felt I’d done enough damage for one
night. I left all the broken dishes on the floor and proceeded to take a
scalding hot shower. I refused to sleep that night.

Early the next morning, Livvie called
me.

“Hey you.” I could hear the smile in
her voice. I was a little suspicious but warily accepted she might not be mad
about the night before.

I rubbed my eyes. I was exhausted.

“Hey.”

“I just wanted to let you know I have
work after class, but I’m free tomorrow. I can spend the night, and tomorrow I
thought we could go see a movie. I want to watch
Let Me In
.”

I sat up and propped myself up against
the headboard.

“Um… okay.” I’d
been expecting anger from her. Maybe even excuses as to why she couldn’t see me
for a while. I decided it was better to accept her offer than question her
motives. “What’s it about?”

“It’s sort of a horror movie, but not
really. I really liked the Swedish version called
Let the Right One In
, but I’m curious to see what the director did
with it.”

I smiled. I remembered all the movie
posters in her apartment.

“Of course,
Livvie. We can do that.”

“No pet names today?” she teased.

“I thought you didn’t like it.”

There was silence on her end. Then very
quietly, “I liked it last night.”

My dick stirred.

“Good to know.”

“Yeah, well… just don’t get too many
ideas. You can’t solve everything with sex, Caleb.”

A tingle of shame bloomed in my chest.

“I’ll try to
remember.”

“Good. See you tonight, Sexy.”

I laughed. “Is that a pet name? I hate
it.”

“I’ll try to remember.” 

I hung up and went straight to sleep. I didn't even dream.

Livvie liked to see a lot of movies and
read a lot of books. She often lamented not being able to read as often as she’d
like because her life was so busy between work, school, and dividing her free time
between me and her friends. I often changed the subject when she brought up the
last bit. I knew she wanted me to meet them. However, the idea of surrounding
myself with typical twenty-year-olds was less than appealing. I had nothing in
common with most people—less with those who had never shot a person at
point-blank range. At least Livvie and I had
that
in common!

“Thanksgiving is next week,” Livvie
said as she slid into the car. We’d just finished watching
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
. Livvie had insisted
we have a marathon to catch me up before we went to see the film. Surprisingly,
I genuinely enjoyed the movies. I wondered if I was more like Harry or
Voldemort. “Caleb.”

“Yes?” I looked toward Livvie and
smiled. She sighed.

“You know where
I’m going with this. Don’t make it difficult for me.”

“Come on, Kitten. Again? I have enough
friends. I don’t want any more.”

“You don’t have any friends, Caleb.”

“You’re my friend.” I winked at her as
I started the car. She was a sucker for my flirting.

“Gah!” She threw up her hands
sarcastically. “You are so irritating! If you weren’t so handsome I’d punch you
in the face.” I laughed. “Come on, Caleb. Don’t be an ass. I’ve been really
patient, but this is important to me.
You’re
important to me… and so are they. Please don’t make me choose.”

Despite her playful tone, I could tell
how serious the situation truly was. I’d put her through a lot. After all, an
evening with her friends had to bode better for me than it had for Livvie when
she’d spent time with mine.

“What are we
going to tell them about me?”

She shifted in her seat and gave me a
look of tempered excitement.

“Ohmygod, are
you asking me because you’re actually considering it?” I rolled my eyes.

“I suppose,” I grumbled. I wasn’t prepared
when Livvie took off her seatbelt and jumped on me with a squeal of delight. I
tapped my brakes and heard a horn blaring behind me. “Livvie! What the fuck?
I’m driving!” She was completely unapologetic.

“I’m so happy!
So happy, happy, happy.” She danced into her seat and put her seatbelt back on.
“Claudia is going to flip her shit when she sees you. Rubi is super polite, but
Claudia is a bit of a chatterbox. So expect her to talk your ear off. Sometimes
she gets kinda personal, but I’ll warn her ahead of time how grumpy you are.
Ohmygod, what are we going to eat? I hope the grocery store has turkeys. Big
turkeys!”

My anxiety levels were rising. What the
hell had I just agreed to?

“Livvie, it’s
not going to be that easy. We have to be careful if you don’t want to send me
pen pal letters in prison.”

Her excitement dwindled slightly. She
rested her hand on my arm.

“We’d run
before I ever let that happen, Caleb.” She was dead serious. My chest felt a
little tighter. “Besides,” she continued, “the FBI is far from here and they
don’t check on me unless I reach out first. Sloan calls sometimes, but now that
she knows I have friends and don’t sit around moping over you, I don’t hear
from her much. We’re okay, Caleb. We’re perfect.”

I smiled despite myself.

“We’re pretty
far from perfect, Kitten. I’m the most fucked up person you know.”

“Yeah, but I’m the second most fucked
up person I know, and when you put two negatives together, you get a positive.
That’s math, Caleb. Math is the language of the universe. You can’t argue with
the universe.” Her grin was patently ridiculous.

I
love you so goddamn much.

“Yes, well,
I’ve been screwed over by the universe before.”

“I know! It totally owes us.” She stuck
out her tongue. I laughed.

“Seriously, what are we going to say?”
I held her hand as I focused on the road.

“Well, it’s just like writing. You
start with what you know, and what I know is the best lies are rooted in the
truth. Your name is James. You were born in Portland, Oregon. You’re
twenty-seven, well-traveled, and we’ve been seeing each other for a month and a
half.”

I laughed.

“Been thinking
about it, have you? My passport doesn’t say James. Also, in the event your FBI
friends come poking around, I’m not sure having James Cole in your life is
going to go unnoticed. Then there’s what do I do for a living? Why do I have an
accent if I grew up in America? What’s my family like? Do I have any hobbies?”
I slowly watched the enthusiasm fade from Livvie’s face. I felt like shit. “I’m
sorry, Livvie. I know you deserve better, but I just don’t know how you think
we can pull this off.”

She was quiet for the rest of the ride
back to my hotel. We stripped and climbed into bed. I pulled her close. I could
practically hear the gears turning in her head.

“We tell them we’re both in witness
protection,” she said. “We aren’t supposed to be together, but we couldn’t
stand to be apart. The FBI wants you to turn over evidence that belongs to
another country. That’s why Reed was poking around and I’ve been so secretive
about where I’m spending my nights. They can never tell anyone about us. As far
as they’re concerned, we met at
The Paseo
.
They love me, Caleb. They’ll keep our secret.”

I shook my head.

“Do you really
think that will work? It seems far-fetched.”

“No more so than the truth.”

I considered her words carefully. It
could work if her friends could truly be trusted, but I didn’t know them from
anyone. I’d have to check them out thoroughly, keep an eye on them. Livvie
wouldn’t like it. I’d have to keep it from her, but it was better than getting
ambushed down the line. Rafiq was with me for twelve years before I found out
he couldn’t be trusted. I was never going to make that mistake again.

“We’ll wait on
telling them about witness protection. We’ll avoid details beyond my name,
where we met, and what I do. If all goes well, we can tell them the ‘truth’
later.”