Authors: Dani Morales
Every new year we hope for something better
than the last year, more money, less problems,
something life altering. Well this year was certainly
one to remember. We got a call from my father asking
us if we could come get the boys. He and Tiffany got
into some trouble with the law, something about
Michael’s ECI worker accusing him of being a drug
dealer. What a shocker, right? I think it was karma.
My mom was planning to take a mini vacation to
Texas to get a way for a while anyways, so she went
down for the week and came back with the three boys.
I couldn't believe how big they had gotten and how
behind they were in speaking.
Mathew was going to be 5 in a few months,
Lee was 3, and Michael was 9 months old. All of
them were still in pampers. Mathew and Lee should
have been well on their way to being potty trained.
We got Medicare and all the important things, making
sure they were healthy and up to date on shots. Then
we started teaching them. My mom was an awesome
teacher. I kept telling her she should go back to school
and finish college to get her teaching degree.
The boys were starting to look better. They all
got new clothes and haircuts. Their speech started to
develop more, but Michael was a little harder to teach.
He was born with a disability. He’s considered
partially deaf and has to wear hearing aids. He was
the cutest and happiest baby I had ever seen. Things
were going great. Watching them play around on the
floor of the living room gave me pure joy. They were
oblivious to the world that’s out there. All I wanted to
do was protect them and keep them from ever having
to experience the trials of everyday life. Mathew got
Lee and Michael to sit on a blanket and he was
pulling them all over the tile floor. Giggles filled the
room, so contagious I found myself laughing at their
silliness.
Since they were so behind, we got them signed
up to go to the ECI out here in Vegas. We went twice
a week for them to play and learn to speak correctly.
Before we knew it, Mathew is potty trained, Lee was
on his way there, and Michael was just content with
being the most adored baby ever. They were all so
spoiled, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My dad, his wife, and Anthony showed up in
June, three months after we had gotten the boys, to
take them home. Supposedly everything had blown
over, and it was okay to take them back. As much as I
didn't want them to go, I really didn't have a say, so
they left with the condition that I would come down to
visit in a month, and if things weren't what I consider
to be good enough for the boys I would take them
back.
My one week vacation turned into a three
week vacation. I helped them get everything situated,
and when I was confident with their situation, I left.
Big mistake. It seemed like I was making a lot of
those. It didn't matter how hard I tried to do the right
thing, I somehow ended up doing the complete
opposite of what I wanted to do. I ignored my
intuition when I should have been paying attention to
it.
I was lying across my bed reading some
poems for my online English class I was taking to get
my associates degree, when I come across a poem by
Robert Frost that I had read in high school. Come to
think of it, it’s actually the poem that changed
everything in my life.
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in Ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to parish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction Ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
I always find it funny when you’re feeling
certain emotions, a song, a poem or something
someone is saying mirrors the way you feel. I’m not
going to lie and say that things had been peachy.
That's far from the truth. The one saying about life
that always sticks with me and is on constant repeat in
my head is, “Laugh your heart out. Dance in the rain.
Cherish the moment. Ignore the pain. Live, Laugh,
Love. Forgive and forget.Life’s too short to be living
with regrets.” Well sometimes that is hard to do.
It was the first week of October, not even a
full 2 months since I left Texas, when Anthony called
me.
“Anthony what the hell are you talkin
g
about?”
“Dad is getting arrested, and they’re taking the
boys to Child Protective Services.”
Well when it rains it pours.
I was on the next flight out. I wasn’t sure what
I was getting ready to face. I was so pissed off at
myself for letting myself believe Dad changed. What
kind of parents keep screwing up so bad that CPS
takes your kids away?
My brother was at the airport as soon as I got
there. I was staying at my cousin’s house until I
figured out what I had to do. It was Friday evening,
and everything was closed. Things were so
complicated that I didn't even know where to begin.
My hometown was still the same. The first
things I smelled when I walked out of the airport were
wet dirt, hay, horses and cow manure. Oddly I found
that kind of comforting in this moment. The logical
part of my brain had shut down; I didn't know what I
was supposed to do. I was overwhelmed on the inside
and composed on the exterior. The only thing I knew
for certain was that I was going to do whatever it took
to get custody of my little brothers. I used the
weekend to plan since the offices were closed.
It was finally Monday, and I was getting
things together to go talk to CPS, when I got a call
from my brother’s girlfriend Emily.
“Umm April, this is Emily, Anthony’s
girlfriend. His job just called and told me we need to
go pick up your grandpa’s truck because the cops
came and arrested him.”
“Are you serious? They arrested Anthony?”
“Yeah, since he lived at the house with your
dad, he’s getting charged too.”
“If that’s the case Emily, be careful because
they’ll come get you too.”
Great. Just freaking great. With the money I
brought with me, I bailed out my brother. Sure enough
Emily was arrested that same day, and she was the
next one bailed out. My grandfather bailed out my dad
and Tiffany, and the process of getting the boys back
began. I was so pissed off, and my dad knew it. He
knew not to argue with me, so he and his stupid wife
just sat there closed lipped.
The first meeting took place in a church. The
case worker called it an intervention to try to help
them straighten up. We made goals for them and set
up requirements they would have to complete before
they would get the kids back, including passing drug
tests. I made sure they completed everything they had
to and more. I made it my point to be involved in any
way I could.
I spoke to the case worker and her supervisor
to see what I would have to do to get custody of the
boys. I had to get a job, get housing, and maintain
both for at least 6 months. So that’s exactly what I
did. I started working at a restaurant with my aunt and
cousin. They let me stay with them until I could afford
my own apartment. I never thought at the age of 22, I
would be fighting against my dad to get custody of his
kids. I knew from the beginning that it would one day
come to something like this, but not in this capacity.
If you never have to get involved with CPS,
count yourself lucky. They require you to do a
ridiculous amount of stuff, for good reason, butIt’s
downright hard. I went to as many visitations as I
could, and I can say I was relieved when I met the
foster parents. I was upset that they were split up
however. Mathew was by himself, while Lee and
Michael were together. We were blessed with the
parents that were chosen for them. That was my
biggest concern when I was told they had been placed
in foster care. I had heard so many horror stories
about what happens to children in foster home. That
was my driving force to get them out of foster care.
****
It had been a year, a whole freaking year that
my little brothers had been in foster care, a whole year
of my dad and his stupid wife not doing anything to
get them back home. I was tired of it. My dad would
be going to prison soon. He had just signed his papers
with the lawyers. He asked me to move into a house
with them, so his wife could get the kids back. I
agreed solely because that way we would get the boys
back by Christmas.
The boys made it home the week before
Christmas, and I was ecstatic. The best Christmas
present ever! Everything was going great. I was
actually getting along with their mom. I was working
a lot, going to school full time, and taking care of the
kids with the rest of my time. Being so used to things
never going good for long, I was waiting for the other
shoe to drop, and then it did.
I was meeting up with our case worker to
discuss the fact that Tiffany had not been helping me
pay for anything and hasn’t been taking care of the
kids. The only ones taking care of them were me my
cousins who offered to help out. She set up a time for
us to meet, but I was not able to go at the designated
time because I had finals for college that day, so I
went in an hour early in order to still be able to make
it to my class.
“Thanks for meeting with us April. We know
you have concerns,” Amber our case worker said.
“I do have concerns, but the major one is what
is going to happen to the boys?”
“Well we can’t do anything until Tiffany
comes in to meet with us so we can discuss what’s
going on with her and why she isn’t doing what she is
supposed to.” Leann, Amber’s supervisor states.
“I’ll tell you right now that she’s going to say
it’s because I don’t allow her to. Sometimes that is
true because I don’t agree with some of the people she
brings around the boys, so I take them away from
there. What bothers me is that she doesn’t seem to
care that she doesn’t see them sometimes for days.”
“We will get down to it and call you after we
meet with her. Are you picking up the kids from
school today?” Leann asks.
“Yes I’m. I drop them off and pick them up
every day. The school has only seen Tiffany once, the
day she enrolled them.”
With that said, I left. As I was picking up
Mathew and Lee from school, I got a phone call.
“April, Tiffany didn’t show up. Do you know
where she is?” Amber asked sounding a bit pissed off.
“She didn’t show up? Are you serious? No I
have no idea where she is. She hasn’t been to the
house in a few days, so I figured she’s been staying
with her new boyfriend.”
“Okay, well as of right now we’re removing
the boys from her care and placing them in yours. Do
you have somewhere to stay?”
“I’m waiting on my new apartment to get
cleaned out. I move in next week. I can get a motel for
the next few weeks until I’m able to move into the
apartment.”
“Okay, do that, and let me know what room
you are in, so I can come over with the paperwork and
get your signature.”
“I’ll callyou as soon as I know where we’re
going to go.”
I got a motel for two weeks until my
apartment was available. I was given temporary
custody of the boys. Things were heading in the
direction I had planned on when I got here. Tiffany
remained MIA for a while, Dad was in jail, the boys
were doing great in school, and life was moving along
perfectly.
Summer passed without a hitch. School was
starting. Michael was placed in this awesome program
that taught sign language, and I was even learning a
few things here and there. I started going to these
classes for people who want to adopt or become foster
parents. It’s amazing what all you have to go through.
I completed the course, got FBI fingerprinted, got
CPR/First aid/AED certified, and got my home and
fire inspection completed. Smooth sailing.
Tiffany finally got tracked down around the
time my dad was getting ready to be released. The
caseworker talked to them about going to a mediation
hearing with me. The point of the mediation was to try
to come to an agreement on whether they would sign
papers saying I could adopt the boys with visitation
right, or we would go to court to get their rights taken
away. It went surprisingly well. An agreement was
made.
December 19, 2011 was the day that would
forever change my life. After two years of fighting
with my father and CPS, I was finally granted with
the title of mother. This was the day the judge in
family court decided I was more than capable of
taking care of three little boys, boys that had been
through hell in the last two years. I was finally able to
give them the stability and love they deserved many
times over.
The first thing I did was call my mom to let
her know she was officially a grandma and to tell her
that we would be moving back to Vegas after
Christmas. When I said the boys’ coming home for
Christmas was the best gift ever, I was completely
wrong. The best gift ever was the day I adopted them,
and they said, “I love you mom.”
I never understood what it felt like to be called
that, and I was always jealous of my friends who had
kids. Now I know. I now know what it feels like to put
someone first in your life without any conscious
effort. I always have put other people first but with
thoughts behind it. It became automatic. It was no
longer about me but was about them and what they
needed. It was a rather fulfilling sensation.
People kept telling me how proud they were of
me. They said that I was remarkably mature for my
age and that what I did for my little brothers was
heroic. I don’t understand why they felt that way. I
would assume anyone put in my position would do
the same thing. How could you not? I didn’t do it for
the money or the attention. I did it because it was the
right thing to do. I did it because it was not their fault
that they got stuck with the parents they did. I did it
because they deserved the chance to grow up
surrounded by love and stability. I wanted them to
know they’ve always been wanted. That’s why at the
age of 24 I became their legal guardian, their mother,
their sister, and the person they could talk to about
anything without worrying. That’s the reason why I
fought so hard, because they deserved to be fought
over. They were the victims in all of this.