Enigma Black (12 page)

The familiar sickness returned to my stomach, making me aware that whatever strength I could muster to speak to Chase would surely be lost upon hearing his voice. No, texting him was the only safe form of communication right now.

Was at the cemetery. Sorry I missed your call. Going to bed. See you tomorrow. Love you.

A few seconds later I received his reply message:

If you need to talk, call me anytime. Sweet dreams, beautiful. I love you more than you can fathom.

My eyes began to water; my strength was gone. Tomorrow would be the second worst day of my life.

Chapter Eleven

The Unforeseen Goodbye

The day of contradictions was here. Questions poured relentlessly through my head like a steady rain. Would I get to bring anything from my apartment? What would become of my belongings? What about my lease? I had another six months left on it and, knowing how management was around here, I knew that there was no way they would let me out of it early.

In the ten years since my family’s death, there hadn’t been a moment in my life I hadn’t been in complete control over, and this inability to steer my life now didn’t set well with me. I preferred being the pilot, not the passenger. With a sigh, I looked around my apartment, reluctantly resigning myself to the fact that Blake or his superiors probably had everything already figured out for me and there was nothing I could do about it either way. All I had to do was make a choice and then sit back and enjoy the ride.

Tonight, I would be putting on the performance of a lifetime. In a haze, I sat on the edge of my bathtub, turning the steel knob with a noticeably shaky hand until water began flowing out of the faucet. My apartment complex’s plumbing wasn’t exactly up-to-date in that its water heater was grossly inadequate in effectively supplying hot water to every unit. In essence, it was a toss-up whether or not your bathing experience was going to be an enjoyable one. I ran my hand under the faucet realizing, as warm water flowed over it, that I’d won the toss today.

I lay in the tub with my head resting against its fiberglass backing, eyeing the black dress I’d selected to wear to tonight’s dinner at Angelo‘s. It was one of the very few dresses I owned and, from this day forward, it would be forever known to me as the symbol of the end of my relationship. In my head I attempted to contemplate the right words to use to break someone’s heart. Were there
right
words? My guess was that I already knew the answer to that.

I raised my arm out of the tub, watching as the droplets of water cascaded down my skin, journeying toward my shoulder. At that moment, I was in a hypnotic state. It was as though the world suddenly stood still and my mind was left to wander to the mysterious Blake Cohen. I wondered where he was, whether or not he was waiting for me outside my apartment, and if he would follow me to the restaurant.

Time ticked away in slow motion as I dried off and slipped the dress over my head. Chase loved this dress on me. I could tell by the way his eyes nearly fell out of his head every time he saw me in it. It would be his last vision of me, and I wanted to make it as memorable as possible. I looked at myself in the mirror with the knowledge that, after tonight, it would be a sight I wouldn’t be able to stomach anymore. I would be a shattered soul whose pieces would never again fit together as solidly as they once had. Chase was the only person out there who could possibly make me whole. Without him, I would only be half alive, and that was a reflection of themselves that no one should have to see in the mirror.

The necklace, my precious Matthews’ family heirloom, lay on my night stand. To see the look on Chase’s face when I slipped that necklace off my neck would be devastating. Until the necklace came off, he would probably think my breaking up with him was just some kind of twisted joke. The minute he saw the necklace in my hand, however, he would know that I was serious. Giving it back would destroy him.

I grabbed the letters to Lucy and the rest of the Matthews family and headed out the door. With an unsteady hand, I placed them in the archaic, bronze mail slot in the lobby of my apartment building. When I heard them hitting the bottom of the box, a sickening feeling overcame me, making my knees weak. This was really happening, and there was no turning back now. My thoughts turned to Lucy and the Matthews as they read those letters. Carrie, Jim, and MaKayla would probably already know of the breakup beforehand, but the letter would still shock them nonetheless. 

I took a deep breath before stepping outside. Angelo’s was five blocks down the street from my apartment, but it may as well have been five miles. The further down the block I walked, the more I thought my legs would give out. With every step I took, I felt as though I would collapse to the sidewalk. So, it was nothing short of a surprise to me when I looked up and realized that I was standing with both feet firmly planted on the ground in front of the entrance to Angelo‘s. My eyes stared at the door for what seemed like a half century before my weakened, jelly-like hand clasped the handle, and I finally allowed myself to walk into the building.

He would already be in there waiting for me. Knowing Chase, he’d arrived ten minutes prior. We were polar opposites in that respect. More often than not, I was late for appointments, dates, or whatever else had a set arrival time attached to it.

Angelo’s was positively gorgeous. A virtual diamond in the rough, it was noticeably out of place in the sea of abandoned buildings, cracked sidewalks and graffiti-covered concrete. I stood for a moment admiring its opulence before taking in a deep breath and striding across the marble laden floor to the front desk.

“Welcome to Angelo’s, Madame. How may I assist you this fine evening?” asked the portly man behind the desk, whose uniform probably cost more than my entire wardrobe.

“My name is Celaine Stevens. I’m here with Chase Matthews.”

“Ah, yes. The young doctor. You’re just as beautiful as he made you out to be. We have a special table set up for you this evening. Right this way.” He motioned for me to follow him, and I couldn’t help but think that he was leading me to my doom. Perhaps it was all in my head, or maybe it was because the employees get paid extra to slather on the butter to appease the egos of their usual clientele, but I could swear there was an extra glimmer in the maitre d’s eyes and a I-know-something-you-don’t smile on his face as he led me to the table.

I’d never been inside Angelo’s before. My finances ensured that from happening. Now that I finally had the chance to admire it from the inside, I couldn’t help but notice the elegant, distinctly regal theme it exuded. Walking through the dining hall, I found myself encased in dark purple, the color of royalty. From the table cloths to the curtains, from the wall treatments to the carpeting, the theme prevailed. In the middle of the restaurant’s cathedral ceiling hung a beautiful crystal chandelier adding to the holier-than-thou attitude permeating the atmosphere. Why Chase chose to bring me here was beyond my comprehension.

It seemed like a lifetime before we finally reached the table where Chase was seated near the back of the restaurant. The table donned a beautiful setting complete with candelabras and fresh flowers in various shades of violets and deep pinks. I stole a quick glimpse at the other tables nearby and couldn’t help but notice that our table was strangely more put together than the rest. He’d really outdone himself, but why? It wasn’t our anniversary or my birthday. Maybe he received a promotion and this was his idea of a celebration. The way he was dressed was also very unlike him, and he made me look like somewhat of a bum. Rarely did Chase dress up. He always said that the only thing ties were good for was for hanging yourself. But here he was, in a suit coat
and
a tie, looking as though he’d just stepped out of the pages of a magazine.

“You look absolutely stunning tonight,” Chase awed with a noticeable quiver in his voice.

“Chase, you’re shaking, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No, I’m fine. Amazing, really.”

“But, you’re shaking…you’re…you’re…not Chase. What’s going on?”

“Celaine, I’m the best I’ve ever been. Everything is perfect. More perfect than I ever thought it would be for me.”

“Okay.” I picked up the menu, searching for something that would be gentle on my weakened stomach.

There was something not quite right with Chase. I had never seen him like this before. He was so…nervous. What was there to be nervous about? His face was flushed, and he stared at me as though he saw me for the first time. He was so intense that it was making
me
nervous. Finally, after some hesitation, he broke the silence. “I was going to wait until after dinner for this, but looking at you, it’s kind of hard to keep quiet any longer.”

“Huh?” I looked up from my menu, puzzled.

“Celaine, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Aesthetically, mentally and emotionally. From the moment I first saw you, my soul has ached to be by your side. I can’t imagine anyone more perfect for me than you. You are truly my better half, and I can’t picture my life without you.” Looking into my eyes, he paused, resuming again with a slight tremble in his voice. “I don’t think there is life without you. Before I met you, I was a hollow shell of a man stumbling around in the dark, barely able to make it from point A to point B. When you came into my life, you brought the light to help me see the way to destinations I didn’t know existed. You picked up the pieces and made me whole again.”

Shaking, I could feel my eyes beginning to water. I looked up at Chase with a look I was sure projected the absolute guilt I felt.

“Your eyes…they shimmer like topaz. They’re so beautiful.”

I couldn’t make the tears stop; my eyes were burning, and wiping them with my fingers just wasn’t cutting it. I looked down and saw the Angelo’s trademark napkin folded in the shape of a swan resting on my plate. Chase’s eyes lit up as I reached down to unfold the napkin in order to blot them. There was an audible
clunk
as something fell from inside the napkin onto the plate. Averting my eyes from the napkin, I gasped when I realized what the source of that sound had been. In the middle of the plate sat the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was an emerald cut, two, maybe three carats, with a prismatic rainbow of colors radiating off it, creating the most amazing sparkle. I was absolutely speechless.

A hand grasped mine, bringing me back down to reality. At my feet knelt Chase, his eyes watering. My heart pounded in my chest with the realization of what was happening. Around us, diners looked up from their tables, their eyes wide with the anticipation of what was surely one of the happiest moments in any normal couple’s relationship.

“Celaine Elizabeth Stevens, you have made me the happiest man in this room thus far. Now, would you please make me the happiest man in the world by doing me the honor of being your husband? Will you marry me?”

Time stopped as I stared blankly at Chase’s anxious face. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. Not only would I be breaking his heart, now I would be humiliating him too. I was sick and I knew I was only going to get sicker when I finally spoke, saying what I’d come here to say. “Chase, I love you. I do. You’re perfect for me…you’re perfect for anyone, really. Believe me when I say that there will never be anyone else who’ll have my heart.”

He looked up at me and smiled his gorgeous smile, the dimple on his chin standing out. His eyes were as blue as sapphires, making me want to dive into their intoxicatingly blue irises to drown. “But,” I began again, “there’s no easy way to say this. I came here to tell you that…that…” I hesitated. Not sure what to say, but knowing I needed to say something to remove myself from his presence as soon as possible, I proceeded. “I’m…I’m going away. I’ve gotten a job across the country. Chase…I can’t marry you. I’m leaving tonight. I don’t know when or if I’ll be coming back. I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

Behind us, a slew of gasps erupted. I glanced back to see the house band readying themselves to play as soon as I’d accepted Chase’s proposal, staring at me in horror. This had obviously been a first for Angelo’s. My eyes trailed off to the other tables, only to be met with the same shocked and stunned expressions. Then came the most painful of all: Chase’s expression. His brow was furrowed in a look of pain mixed with confusion, coupled with the expectation that I was going to say
gotcha
, and accept his proposal after all.

I had to leave and fast. My unsteady legs felt like gelatin as I stood up, walked around Chase, and took off in a dead sprint past rows of tables to the front of the restaurant. I burst through the door, narrowly avoiding taking out an Angelo’s employee who’d stepped out for a smoke break.

“Sorry,” I said, choking back tears.

My eyes drifted up to the marquee in front of the restaurant. In big, bold letters that screamed
read me
was the announcement,
Congratulations, Chase and Celaine
. He’d gone all out, and my bolting out of the restaurant with little explanation would be all he’d remember. Stopping to catch my breath, I leaned against the building for support, my legs feeling as though they were going to give out from under me. My head scraped against the coarse brick wall. I wished it would swallow me up right then and there, forever burying me, shielding me from the world and the unbearable pain I felt. Next to me, the door flew open as Chase emerged from the restaurant. He looked at me for several seconds, the pain and disbelief still evident on his face.

“After two years, don’t you at least think I deserve an explanation,” he demanded, his face bright red. “You know, like an explanation of what exactly this job is and…oh…I don’t know…when exactly you were going to tell me about it!”

There was no explanation short of the truth that was going to appease him, and even the truth would be a stretch. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to tell you. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I didn’t see any way around it. Chase, this is the last thing I wanted. Had I had even the slightest inclination that you were going to propose to me tonight, I would never have let you take me here in front of all those people.”