Authors: Alyssa Rose Ivy

Enduring Light (22 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Charlotte

I was ready to jump. I was ready to jump in the river and make the sacrifice the scroll had described. Giving my light to the river would cause a new Essence to be born, an Essence that could rule without the darkness of Blake.

I said my goodbyes silently, unwilling to tip off either Liam or Calvin to what I was about to do. I wanted to do more, to hold them both close to me, to tell them that they meant the world to me. I hoped that they’d understand my choice.

“Make the signal,” I ordered Liam.

Instead of making the bird call, he held me back, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist from behind. I knew in that moment what was happening. Calvin had figured it out. His eyes said it all as his hand enveloped mine. I squeezed it, unwilling to let go of the man I loved. He let go and walked to the water.

I screamed, but Liam never loosened his hold. He made the bird call as Calvin dove into the river. The blinding light told me everything I needed to know—Calvin had given his light so I wouldn’t have to give mine. The dark clouds began to part, and the water turned completely black before settling into a fluorescent hue.

I tried to follow him, but Liam still held me. He whispered something in my ear, but I didn’t hear him. His words were drowned out by the endless beating of my heart. A heart breaking into a million pieces.

I finally broke away from Liam and ran to grab Calvin’s body before it could disappear over the falls. His eyes were closed, and he almost looked as if he were sleeping.

Pain like I’d never imagined. That’s the only way I can describe how I felt as I held Calvin’s limp body in my arms. He was more than a friend, more than a lover, more than anything. He was part of me in a way I couldn’t possibly find the words to express.

I heard voices behind me, then hands gripped me, but all that mattered was the body of the man who held my heart. He was still wet from the water. Black liquid dripped down his chest and soaked into my shirt. I concentrated, convinced I could find a way to make that water fix everything. I was the Essence; I should be able to do that. I just wasn’t trying hard enough.

Eventually, the voices died down, the hands disappeared, and I was alone. I kept seeing his eyes—those beautiful green eyes that I’d do anything to see open again. How could I possibly go on without him?

It couldn’t be over. I could still feel a strong sense of wholeness I shouldn’t have felt. I remembered Mom telling me about when she’d lost her Gerard—about the numbness, the emptiness that never completely disappeared. I felt cold and lost, but there was still something making me feel strong. I shook him. He had to still be there.

“Charlotte.”

I heard the voice but didn’t understand the strange new pull.

“Charlotte, please.”

The pleading got me in a place it shouldn’t have—in a place that was only Calvin’s—but the voice was Liam’s. I turned to look at him, finally allowing Kevin and Henry to take Calvin’s body from me.

Calvin wasn’t there—the body was just a shell. I knew that with complete certainty. I also realized that, in death, Calvin had given me not one gift but two. He’d given me my life, and he’d given me another chance at love.

Liam fell to his knees beside me and pulled me into his arms. “Charlotte.”

My body should have resisted, should have hated another man holding me—but it didn’t. It felt right. “How? Calvin knew, didn’t he? He did this.”

“He made me promise. He made me promise I’d always take care of you. I’d already made that promise to myself.”

I gripped his shirt, noticing he’d already grown taller. The connection between us was undeniable. “You’re my Gerard.”

He nodded. “I’m not Calvin, and I never will be, but I swear to you, Charlotte, I will make you happy. We will be happy.”

He cradled me against his chest as I cried. “I need time.”

“You can have all the time you want. I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember, and I’ll be in love with you until the day we die. I can give you space, I can give you time, I can give you everything.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kevin

That wasn’t what was supposed to happen. That wasn’t the way it was supposed to work. Charlotte wasn’t supposed to experience such crippling heartache. She wasn’t supposed to look at me with those hollow eyes. I wanted to make it all go away, to start over and tell Dad we weren’t moving back to Charleston. But as soon as I thought it, I knew I didn’t mean it. Charlotte and I were born for our roles in Energo. The Source would have made sure we found our way there eventually. The other reason for discarding the thought was currently standing right next to me.

Samantha squeezed my hand. “She will be all right.”

“I hope so.”

“She has Liam. He is her true Gerard now. He is who she has always loved, and he loves her. They will find peace.”

“I still can’t believe… I can’t believe she almost gave her own life.”

“She was only doing what she believed was right. You would have done the same.”

“No. I couldn’t have done that to my family.”

“Even if it meant saving them? That’s what she was thinking. That’s what Calvin was thinking when he took her place.”

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” I didn’t mean Calvin, although his death wasn’t a small one. Losing Monty hit me in a place I didn’t think would ever heal. I’d spent my whole life looking up to him, and I hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye.

She looked up at me. “It is okay to cry.”

I nodded and lost it. I cried for Monty, for Calvin, for Percy, for Ruth, for everyone Blake had destroyed out of his relentless jealousy.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Charlotte

Three Weeks Later

My bed—Mom’s old childhood bed—was my home for three weeks. Under the blue quilt, I could pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist. I could wallow in my pity, my guilt, and my hatred for myself. Calvin had sacrificed himself for me. The least I could do was honor his memory. He may have made Liam my Gerard, but that didn’t mean he really wanted us to be together. He was only trying to protect me, to give even more selflessly. He’d done all that, and I hadn’t even been as good when he was alive. The memory of my kiss with Liam burned in my chest. Even if it had been the Source’s doing, I was still a participant, and I’d enjoyed it. If Calvin knew of my plan, did he know about the kiss? Could he read me better than I could read him? Had he loved me enough to overlook it? These were questions I’d never have answers to. Whatever tipped Calvin off about the meaning of the scroll had caused his sacrifice. I cursed who or whatever told him.

Liam had come to see me several times, as had my parents and brother, but I couldn’t handle seeing anyone yet. When I wasn’t thinking about Calvin, I was thinking about Monty. I missed him so much. He’d been like a second father to me, such a large and constant part of my life, and he was gone. Losing two of the most important men in my life in a single day was too much. I didn’t want to eat, but I discovered that if I ate one meal a day, everyone left me alone.

My door burst open, so I pulled the quilt over my head. “Go away.”

“No!” Kevin tugged the quilt off the bed. “I will not go away.”

I rolled over.

“Charlotte, this has to stop!” He threw open the curtains, flooding the room with sunlight.

“No! It doesn’t.” I started to cry again.

“You’re acting like a spoiled brat, and I’ve had enough. Do you think the rest of us are happy about how things worked out? Do you think Mom’s thrilled that her brother’s dead? Do you think I’m jumping up and down? And Liam? How do you think he feels? He loves you so freaking much, yet you’re freezing him out like he doesn’t matter.”

“I have nothing to offer anyone.”

“Bullshit. What about James? You don’t have anything to offer him?”

“Is he here?”

“His body is. Do you think he magically woke up?”

“I thought he would maybe… I don’t know… since Blake is dead.”

“No. But maybe you can do something now. Didn’t you ask the Source?” He sat down on the bed next to me.

“Not directly, but I may have an idea.” The mention of James had shocked me. I did know how to help him. Maybe someone’s life could still be saved. I sat up. “Where is he?”

“In the great hall.” Kevin looked triumphant. “Will you finally leave this room?”

I glanced around at the messy space. “Yes.” I got out of bed and walked toward the door.

“Uh, Charlotte?”

“Yes?”

“You should probably clean up and change. We all love you, but you’re pretty disgusting.”

I picked up a shirt from the floor and threw it at him.

He easily caught it. “Your aim has improved.” He tossed it back onto the floor and went to the door. “I’ll see you downstairs.” He closed the door behind him.

One glance in the mirror showed me I looked like hell. I had bathed the day before, but the dark circles under my eyes weren’t going anywhere. I just splashed some cool water on my face and tied up my hair. I stripped off my nightgown and put on the first dress I found in the closet. It was light blue. That was all Mom used to wear.

I tentatively walked downstairs, not sure what kind of reaction would be waiting for me.

Liam met me at the bottom of the stairs. “Charlotte?” I’d felt his presence from upstairs, and I assumed he felt mine.

“Hi, Liam.” I tried to hold myself back, but the pull was too much.

He took me into his arms. “Charlotte.”

“I’m sorry.” I was apologizing for everything, but mostly for hurting him over the past few weeks.

“I understand. Your mom thought you’d want to take things slow, that you wouldn’t want everyone rushing up to you.”

“She knows me well.”

“Do you want to see James now?”

I rested my head on Liam’s chest. “I want to see him, but we need to move him to the cathedral.”

“The cathedral?”

“Yes, but Liam?”

“Yeah?”

I looked up at him. “Can someone else move him? I don’t want to separate from you now.”

He smiled. “Of course. Let’s tell a guard.”

Liam and I walked toward the cathedral, hand in hand. It felt so good to have his strong hand around mine. He’d always been a shoulder to cry on for me, but with Calvin’s death, he had become so much more.

He stopped walking. “I have something for you.”

I looked up at him. “You do?”

“This.” He pulled a crystal heart out of his pocket. The trinket was made from the same iridescent crystal as the other pendants on my necklace. “I know it’s probably getting heavy, but I wanted you to have one from me, and the heart seemed symbolic, because… well, you’ve always had my heart.”

I leaned up and kissed him. He responded immediately, and it was like I could feel everything he was feeling. I could have kissed him forever, but it was time to save James. Liam held my hand as I pushed open the door to the cathedral.

My family waited for me inside. The last time I’d been in there, we were worried about someone barging in. That was no longer a concern. We’d taken back Bellgard.

“Dad!” I’d seen him briefly after Calvin and Monty had died, but I’d been in such a state of shock that his presence had barely registered.

I enjoyed the warmth of his hug before he pulled away slightly to give Mom a turn. He never actually let go, and it became more of a group hug.

“I’m proud of you,” Mom said.

That surprised me. I’d expected her to say she was glad I was okay or something along those lines. “For what?”

“For having the strength to face the world again.”

“I told you, we just had to force some sense into her.” Kevin hugged me.

“You do realize that you are the only one who could ever get away with that, right?”

Kevin grinned. “Yeah, I definitely do.”

“Glad you are back, Charlotte.” Henry smiled nervously.

I knew he wouldn’t hug me on his own accord, so I made the first move. I glanced over Henry’s shoulder and noticed James lying on a cot.

I snapped back to reality. I had a job to do. I sorted through my new knowledge, hoping that my idea would work the way I thought it should.

I kneeled in front of the water basin and placed my hands in the flowing current. I closed my eyes and willed the current to slow until it was barely moving. Without looking, I knew that Mom and Liam were on either side of me. Their proximity gave me extra strength and confidence.

I opened my eyes. “Please bring James over and put him in the water.”

Kevin put James in the water on top of my hands. I closed my eyes again and found my memory of when he’d jumped in front of me. I paused the memory long enough to figure out exactly what Blake had used against him. I reached inside myself to find energy. Only my energy would be strong enough. My experience with Blake had taught me the power of light—my light. The afterglow created by Calvin’s sacrifice had infused the river with light. If I could tap into it and combine it with my own, I could reverse even the darkest curse.

I concentrated, trying to pull out the dark and replace it with light. I worked until I could barely hold on. I let go of him and fell back. I didn’t fall far. Without opening my eyes, I knew I was in Liam’s arms. I let myself fade out. Liam’s energy would bring me back. I’d used almost all of my own energy, but it would recharge. Like everything else, I just needed time.

***

“So something tells me I missed something kind of big,” James teased. He was wrapped in a blanket, watching me when I woke up from my recharging sleep.

“You’re okay!” I pulled him into a hug.

“Yes, thanks to you, I hear.”

“No, it wasn’t just me. None of this would be possible if we hadn’t taken out Blake, and I never could have done that alone.”

“I know that, Charlotte. I just thought you might like the credit.”

I laughed. It felt good to laugh again. “Glad to see you’re still James.”

“Yeah, it’s still me.”

“Good.” I finally released him, taking a few steps back to join Liam again.

James turned to Liam. “So you are the new Gerard, huh?”

Liam nodded. “Yes. That means you have to listen to me.”

“Not a chance. But seriously, I’m glad it’s you. You two have been ready for each other for a long time.”

I searched James’s face, looking for a sign of humor. “Okay, maybe you aren’t the same James.”

“What? I can’t get sentimental sometimes?”