Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain (21 page)

The doomsday device occupied a great cavern beneath Shambhala. A square-mile excavation of machinery, science, and conquest. Pipes funneled coolant. Webs of shimmering wires stretched across the four towers. Robotic technicians polished the machine and operated the steam vents to keep it from overheating.

“Is it everything you thought it would be?” asked the Brain upon my first glimpse of it from the viewing platform.

“It’s beautiful. I wonder what it does.”

“You don’t know?”

“I have some idea,” I replied. “A few possibilities. But I’ll admit its exact function escapes me.”

We stepped onto a moving walkway and sped slowly toward the center of the grand device.

“We must admit we aren’t certain ourselves,” said the Brain. “The science of the device is beyond even our greatest intellects. Tesla thinks it’s a device meant to harness the global electromagnetic field to power an even greater machine that we haven’t built yet. Archimedes theorizes its purpose is to turn the entire planet into a solar death ray. Lovelace thinks it is nothing less than the computer that will access the software of the universe itself, allowing one to rewrite the very laws of physics with the push of a button.” He laughed. “There are, of course, hundreds of theories bouncing around in the Council, but even the most intelligent of us must admit that we simply don’t know. I suppose they’ll be comforted to hear you don’t know either.”

I frowned.

“What is it, Lord Mollusk?” asked the Brain.

“I’ve never been on this side of things before,” I said. “Skipping all the research, planning, and construction to arrive at the plan nearly completed. It’s interesting, but I’m not sure I like it. That’s part of the fun. This just seems too easy.”

“That’s the burden of your genius.”

“I suppose. Who are you anyway?” I asked the Brain. “I’m not an expert on Terran history, but I recognized most of the names in the Council.”

“My name is unimportant, and you haven’t heard of me. If you had, I wouldn’t have been doing my job properly. It was my flawless background in covert operations that led to my recruitment.”

“Well, if you’re going to be working for me,” I said, “I should have something to call you other than the Brain.”

“Call me Omega.”

“It’s a touch melodramatic, isn’t it?”

The Brain said, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Then I’ll call you Buddy.”

Buddy was silent for a moment.

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Oh, relax, Buddy. What’s in a name?”

His brain bobbed in its tank. “I’d prefer something else.”

“You’ll get used to it, Buddy.”

His shoulders sagged. “As you wish, sir.”

We stepped onto a lift and were lowered into the control room at the heart of the great machine. Countless levers and switches covered the walls. A bank of monitors offered a steady stream of information. I spent several minutes studying the data being offered.

“Does that help any?” asked Buddy.

“Somewhat. Though it’s mostly just status reports on the functionality of the machine. How long did it take you to build this?”

“Five months.”

I looked out the window at the vast machine before me. “All this in a mere five months? I’m impressed.”

“You flatter me, Lord.”

“When will it be ready to activate? No, let me guess. When this red light here turns green, it’s time to throw the switch.”

“How did you—”

“Future designer,” I said.

“Of course…”

A pair of guard drones and an eight-foot exoskeleton lumbered into the room.

“If I could interrupt your studies for a moment,” said Buddy, “I thought you’d like to meet your new bodyguard. Or rather your old bodyguard in upgraded condition.”

I spared a glance at Zala’s Venusian brain floating in the chest of an ape-like exoskeleton.

“Yes, very nice.”

I turned back to the data streaming across the screens.

“You son of a pribt.” She raised a metal fist as if to smash me, but her arm locked.

“You’ll find your new body is counterprogrammed to prevent any harm to our leader,” said Buddy.

She lowered the arm reluctantly. Three-foot steel talons popped out of her fingertips, and the blaster mounted on her shoulder whirred and clicked.

“Trust me, Mollusk. I’ll find a way.”

Buddy said, “You should be honored, Venusian. You stand beside the greatest—”

“So I’ve heard. Mostly from him. I don’t need to hear it from you too.”

“Give her the sword,” I said.

A drone handed her the scimitar.

“I kept it for you,” I explained. “It is a Venusian soldier’s soul, isn’t it?”

She took the weapon in her hand. “I have no place to put it.”

“You’ll find a retractable scabbard in your right leg,” I said.

The scabbard opened, and she tucked away the weapon. “How did you know?”

“It’s how I would’ve designed it,” I said. “Or should I say it’s how I will design it at some point in the future?”

The control room went pitch black. Only for a moment. The lights snapped back on. The data scroll continued. A bell sounded. The ready light turned green. And everything vibrated, almost imperceptibly.

Snarg perked up. Her antennae twitched, and she squeaked.

Buddy, his voice barely an awed whisper, spoke.

“It’s ready.”

“What’s it doing?” asked Zala.

“An excellent question,” I replied. “I don’t think it’s doing anything important at the moment. Just idling, waiting for someone to start it.”

“Yes, Lord.” Buddy gestured to the dramatically large lever built into a console. “All that’s left for you to do is turn the machine on. And our new glorious future begins.”

Zala stepped between me and the lever. “You can’t do this, Emperor.”

“I have to do this. Causality demands it.”

“So you’re doing it because you
have
to do it.”

“Step aside,” said Buddy.

“No, it’s fine.” I studied the rows of blinking lights at the heart of the machine. “Space-time is greater than any one of us, Zala. Even I’m not beyond it. This machine, that message from the future, everything we’ve gone through has led up to this moment. This is how it’s meant to be.”

“Are you listening to yourself?” She had no face, but I could picture the sneer. “I didn’t think anyone told the brilliant Emperor Mollusk what to do. You’ve never lived by anyone else’s rules before. Why start now?”

“Shall I deactivate her?” said Buddy.

“No. She has a point. What would happen if I didn’t throw that switch? Can I choose not to become my future self? It’s an intriguing possibility.”

“If anyone could spit in the eye of destiny,” said Zala, “it’d be you.”

Buddy remotely powered off her exo.

“That was tiresome. And pointless. You will throw the switch. You know you want to. You need to see what this machine does. Your curiosity doesn’t allow you any other choice.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I admitted.

“You know I am, Lord Mollusk.”

For a moment, I wasn’t so certain. Mysteries of fate and possibility danced at the tips of my tentacles, and while I was confident I knew the answers to them, I also did love a good experiment. But throwing the switch or not throwing the switch, there was no way to know for certain which I was supposed to do. If time was fixed, if the only difference between the present me and the future me was a matter of vantage point, then there really was nothing I could do to prevent myself becoming him. I already was him. I just hadn’t arrived there yet.

I couldn’t outsmart myself. Especially a version that had the benefit of everything I knew
and
everything I would know. The logic was flawless, unavoidable. Whatever I chose, it would lead to future me. And if that was true, I might as well turn on the machine and see what happened.

I grasped the lever, but hesitated to throw it. I looked at Zala’s brain, hovering in the bubbling fluids. “You’ll understand.” I yanked the lever. “One day.”

The machine hummed to life. Flashes danced across the webs of wiring as something deep within the machine rumbled. The machine vented huge clouds of steam while multicolored lights running along the towers crackled to life. But the exact purpose of the great invention remained hidden.

“Thank you, Emperor.” Buddy laughed. “Thank you for being every bit as foolish as we knew you would be.”

He reactivated Zala’s exo, and she stirred to life. “Mollusk, you fool. Your own scientific curiosity has finally undone you.”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” I replied.

The image of my future self appeared on the monitors.

“Yes, Emperor, it was. We both knew this day would come.”

The camera zoomed out to show the Council’s robotic henchmen had been just out of frame in the previous transmission. The guards held their weapons on me.

“As you’ve discovered at this moment, the future the Council of Egos has promised you comes with a few provisions. Indeed, they want our science and our genius. Our leadership? They could do without it.”

“Did you really think that the greatest minds in Terran history would bow down to an alien overlord?” asked Buddy.

“I had doubts,” I said, “but then I thought if you genuinely were the greatest minds in Terran history, then it would be a logical conclusion. But I can’t say I’m terribly surprised. Why should Terrans be any brighter than any other race in the system?”

“We were bright enough to trick you,” said Buddy.

“On a positive note,” said Future Self, “it’s not all bad. As the Council’s chief scientist, you’ll be afforded the luxury of focus and unlimited resources toward research and development of technology for the Council’s use.”

“
Focus
means I’ll be your prisoner, I assume,” I said.

“We can’t have you running free, causing all sorts of trouble, can we?” said Buddy.

“No, I suppose you can’t.”

“But you’re looking at it all wrong, Emperor. Your new position means you can finally indulge your scientific curiosity and apply it toward practical goals. I know that, for some reason, you’re reluctant to inflict harm on others. But the beauty of this is that you won’t have to. All we ask is that you design and create the weapons and tools we need to conquer the system. You don’t have to get your hands dirty. You can leave that to us. If you like, we’ll keep you blissfully unaware of the world outside your lab. You’ll never have to deal with the messy consequences of what you discover. You can live in a realm of pure theory and discovery, unfettered by pesky morality.”

“That does sound tempting,” I admitted.

“You aren’t going along with this?” asked Zala. “You can’t just absolve yourself of your sins by refusing to hear about them.”

“Guilt requires knowledge. You can’t feel bad about something you don’t know about.”

“That’s absurd. You can’t ignore the harm you could unleash if you give in to these brains.”

Buddy switched her off again. “She really is bothersome, isn’t she?”

“You get used to it after a while,” I replied.

The machine’s vibrations grew more intense.

“What does it do?” I asked. “You wouldn’t have let me turn it on if you didn’t know.”

“Of course not.” Barnum chuckled. “It’s a quantum certainty generator.”

“So I actually designed one.”

“Yes,” said Future Self, “and it works. The machine manipulates the universe at a quantum level. For any action, there are multiple outcomes of varying probability. With access to this device, an operator can reduce the probability of any unwanted event to less than one-thousandth of a percent. Entropy is, of course, always a necessary part of any system. But, for all practical purposes, this machine allows one to know the results of one’s actions with near absolute certainty. Its range of effect is only a few days into the future and a few hundred miles at this point, but with time, as the molluskotrenic engine feeds more and more power into the Eiffel Tower, that radius will increase. With each passing moment, more and more of the universe falls under our absolute control.”

“Fantastic,” I said. “I’ll admit I didn’t even think such a device was possible. I could never get the math to work.”

“You will.”

Buddy laughed maniacally. I took advantage of the distraction to remove the strange component from a compartment in my exo. I snapped it into a plug on the console. The component sizzled around the edges as it fused with the machine. Buddy was too busy gloating to notice.

He continued his rant. “So you see, Emperor. With this machine and your genius at our disposal, there’s nothing that can stop us. We have harnessed the primeval forces of creation. Tomorrow, next week, and a thousand years. Eventually, the machine will make us unto the gods themselves.”

“You don’t expect us to just go along with this?” asked Zala.

“I expect you to do exactly what I already know you will do. Guards, take them away.”

Snarg rose to my defense. The guards blasted her with their rifles, and she fell limp.

Buddy laughed as the certainty generator’s hum rose to an ultrasonic pitch. The flashes dancing across its filament mesh burned brighter. The console smoked and sparked. Green coolant leaked from the banks of monitors.