Authors: Lynne Graham
They were waiting to board the jet at Pisa when Eva, who had clearly spoken to Alice, called and arranged to see Harriet while she was in London. Eva rarely chatted for long to Harriet on the phone, but on this occasion she was even briefer than was her wont, and gave her daughter no opportunity to share the news that she would be flying in from Italy.
In London, Rafael parted from her with a similar lack of fuss, booking her for dinner at his city apartment that evening before his departure for New York. ‘You can stay there tonight, and fly back to Ireland in the morning.’
* * *
Alice opened the door of her flat abruptly. ‘You’d better come in.’
Immediately Harriet noticed the changes the past few months had wrought in her sibling. Alice had lost weight and, as she had always been slender, the effect was not flattering: her lovely face looked pinched and her plain grey trouser suit was nothing like her usual young and adventurous style. Harriet recalled Boyce saying that Luke had liked
her
to dress like an old lady in drab colours too, and she almost winced.
Alice watched Harriet look around the lounge. ‘Luke’s in Manchester on business,’ she declared. ‘He doesn’t even know I invited you here today, and if you tell him I’ll deny it!’
‘Why would I tell Luke anything?’ The accusing note in Alice’s voice took Harriet by surprise. ‘I wasn’t even aware you were both living here. I thought you were sharing his apartment. I haven’t seen Luke since we broke up.’
‘Have you really not seen Luke since then?’ Alice
pinned strained brown eyes on Harriet. ‘Or are you being clever with me? Maybe you think it’s payback time, and Luke and you are chatting on the phone to each other every day! How would I know?’
Alice was on the brink of angry tears, and the raw state of her nerves was obvious. Reluctant pity filtered through Harriet’s exasperation. ‘I have had no contact with Luke at all.’
Her sister could not hide her relief at that confirmation, but just as quickly her eyes dulled again. ‘Well, if you haven’t heard from him yet, you soon will…He won’t agree to the wedding invitations going out. The wedding’s been postponed!’
‘Oh…’
‘Is that all you’ve got to say?’
Harriet thought about it, and then slowly nodded agreement. In the circumstances she could think of nothing to say that would not qualify as provocative. The wedding plans had struck her as premature, but she had believed that Luke had abandoned his usual caution because he was head over heels in love. Now it was clear that his relationship with Alice was troubled, and she wasn’t surprised that he was backing away from the imminent prospect of marriage.
‘We had a terrible row at the weekend.’
‘Alice…I don’t want to be involved in this,’
Harriet cut in hurriedly. ‘But I am sorry that things aren’t working out for you.’
Tears were streaming down her sister’s distraught face. ‘Of course you’re not sorry. This is your moment—and you must be crowing!’
‘I’m not. Why would I be? Luke and I broke up months ago.’
‘He said I lured him away from you…he said I was too stupid for him,’ Alice hiccupped in despair. ‘I love him—I really love him—and I’m losing him!’
Dismay gripped Harriet. ‘You mustn’t let Luke speak to you like that. He can be very critical, but you have to stand up to him.’
‘But I’m not clever like you!’ Alice sobbed. ‘I didn’t go to university…I don’t know how to talk about politics—and I couldn’t care less about them either. But that’s
all
Luke and his stuffy friends ever talk about!’
‘What happened to skiing holidays, the cost of childcare and all those ghastly “in” legal jokes?’
Alice had been sorrowfully wiping her eyes, but at that unexpected comeback she stared wide-eyed. And then she started laughing—only unfortunately she couldn’t stop. She laughed until she choked, and then she started sobbing again, as if her heart was breaking. Harriet abandoned her stance of dignified
distance and put a hesitant arm round the younger woman to edge her over to the sofa. Alice sank down beside her and just wept and wept.
‘I love him…I love him to bits,’ Alice kept on gasping pitifully. ‘I don’t know what to do!’
Harriet felt guilty for reflecting that
she
would never have loved Luke enough to tolerate him telling her that she was too stupid for him. But the last remnants of her anger with Alice had melted away.
‘At the beginning he was mad about me…he
was
!’ Alice muttered painfully. ‘He was always sending me cheeky texts. I thought he loved me. I thought you and he had been together so long he was bored, and that he was never going to marry you anyway.’
‘You may well have been right.’
‘No, I was telling myself what I wanted to believe. I certainly know different now.’ Fresh tears welled up in her sibling’s eyes. ‘Luke never stops comparing me to you. You’ve been with him since you were students. How am I supposed to compete?’
‘What’s Eva got to say about all this?’
Alice loosed a tight, bitter laugh. ‘Mum? What do you think? She doesn’t want to know. She never does want to know when things go wrong. She’s furious that the wedding is being postponed, and she says it’ll never be on again. Last month she threw a
big party for us in Paris, and introduced Luke as my fiancé. Now she’s telling me that the wedding cancellation will embarrass her and that I need to learn how to hang on to a man!’
Her sister wailed the last sentence and then started crying again. Recognising that the tears were more half-hearted than serious this time around, Harriet passed her the box of tissues and went off to make tea. She had been planning to tell Alice about Rafael, but now felt that it really wasn’t the right moment. She knew her sibling well enough to suspect that telling Alice about her own happiness would only make the younger woman feel more wretched than ever.
Over the tea, Alice gave her elder sister a discomfited appraisal. ‘I’ve really missed having you to talk to. I never meant to hurt you…it just happened. I was mad about him, and so jealous of you for
so
long—’
‘How long?’
Alice twisted a long strand of blonde hair round her finger and grimaced. ‘I suppose it really started when I was seventeen. Luke used to tease me a lot. He knew I fancied him, and he liked it, so there was always this flirting thing going on between us. But I felt bad about that, so I began to act all snooty and superior when we met, and he hated that. It gave me a kick.’
Harriet was disturbed to appreciate just how young Alice had been when she’d first formed an interest in Luke. She could vaguely recall Luke teasing her little sister. She had thought nothing of it at the time, and had paid more heed to the seeming hostility that had eventually replaced the banter. Now it occurred to her that Luke had taken advantage of the girl.
‘As for when the affair started…About six months before you caught us together I called round one evening to see you, but you were away on business.’ Having begun, Alice could not stop confessing. ‘Luke invited me in for a drink, and I had too much and he kissed me…and it went from there…’
Harriet didn’t want the tacky details. ‘We don’t need to talk about that. But, whatever happens between you and Luke, you and I will still be sisters and we can stay close.’
‘Not if Luke dumps me and goes back to you.’
‘Alice…you’re assuming that I want him back, and I don’t, so please get that idea out of your mind.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Alice compressed tremulous lips and dropped her head.
Harriet thought it was unfortunate that she was not in a position to convince Alice that Luke was bad news for her. But the evidence was clear to see. Luke had stolen her sister’s confidence and turned her into
a nervous wreck, racked with self-doubt. All her life until now Alice had been a golden girl, who led a charmed existence. The experience did not appear to have taught Alice the survival skills she needed now.
‘I’m at the other end of the phone whenever you need me,’ Harriet told her gently. ‘You’re also welcome to come and stay with me in Ballyflynn.’
‘That’s kind of you.’ Alice loosed a plaintive sigh. ‘But it would be all mud and horses, and I’m not a country girl at heart.’
A couple of hours later, Harriet knocked on the door of her mother’s hotel suite. She was surprised when Gustav let her in. A tall, spare man, with thinning blond hair, her mother’s third husband rarely accompanied his wife to London, and as a result he was almost a stranger to Harriet.
‘Eva is lying down…this has been a traumatic time for her,’ the older man remarked stiffly.
Harriet felt that the postponement and possible cancellation of Luke and Alice’s wedding had been rather more traumatic for Alice than for her mother. But she was also well-acquainted with Eva’s ability to persuade people that she was an immensely fragile and sensitive individual, who had to be protected at all costs from every ill wind.
‘I want you to promise that you will say nothing further to upset her,’ Gustav added in an anxious undertone.
‘I appreciate that this is very difficult for you as well…’
‘How for me? Oh, sorry—you mean with me having once been engaged to Luke,’ Harriet gathered wryly. ‘I’m well over that. In fact, I’m even reaching the conclusion that Alice may have saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life.’
‘Luke?’ He studied her in visible bewilderment. ‘Forgive me, but what do Luke and Alice have to do with this? It is Boyce’s intrusion into what is a very confidential matter that has caused your mother such distress.’
‘Boyce?’ Belatedly Harriet understood what her mother’s husband was trying to tell her. She froze. Evidently her half-brother had kept his promise to speak to Eva about Harriet’s need to know who her father was. She was astonished, for their conversation on that issue had been brief, even casual, and she had not really expected Boyce to make good on his pledge to lend her his support.
‘Yes, Boyce. It was fortunate that I overheard the discussion between your brother and my wife and realised what was happening. Quite understandably, Eva was distraught.’ Gustav managed to lend more than a hint of reproach and censure to that statement. He gazed his fill at Harriet’s pallor and, apparently satisfied that she was suitably impressed by
his words of warning, then opened the door to let her enter the sitting room.
The blinds had been lowered to screen out the harsh sunlight, and it took a moment or two for Harriet’s eyes to adjust to the comparative dimness. Eva was reclining on the sofa. Dressed in the ultimate little black dress, her mother looked very delicate and vulnerable.
‘How are you?’ Dry-mouthed, Harriet hovered, scarcely able to credit that finally she might be about to learn something about her paternal genes. ‘I’m really sorry if Boyce upset you—’
‘Do you think I don’t know that you put him up to it?’ her mother shot back at her accusingly.
‘We have talked about this, my dear,’ Gustav interposed, in the very mildest of tones. ‘As it is natural for Harriet to be curious, so it is appropriate for you to satisfy that curiosity. After that has taken place, I am certain that Harriet will agree with me that the subject need never be referred to again.’
Harriet had been wishing the older man would practise tact and leave her alone with her parent. After that speech, however, she wondered if it was only thanks to
his
involvement that Eva had at last been persuaded to speak.
‘Do you have to stand over me?’ Eva enquired petulantly of her daughter.
‘Sorry…’ Harriet dropped down hurriedly on to the edge of the nearest armchair.
‘Before I tell you anything at all, I want you to promise me that nothing I say will go further than this room,’ Eva decreed.
Harriet’s brow pleated. ‘But why on earth—?’
‘I believe that your mother’s request for discretion is reasonable,’ Gustav commented.
Harriet was so tense that she would have agreed to virtually anything, but she could not help thinking that that particular demand was unfair and perverse. Surely whatever information she received should be hers to do with as she liked?
‘If you won’t give me your word, I will refuse to tell you anything,’ Eva declared.
Harriet breathed in deep and swore that she would treat any information that she was given with the utmost discretion. She was surprised when her mother became less tense, and wondered what the heck she was about to be told that could require such a mantle of confidentiality…
Gustav positioned himself carefully behind the sofa and leant over it to rest a supportive hand on his wife’s narrow shoulder. Eva unfurled a minute lace handkerchief in one hand and whispered, ‘Please remember how young I was when I fell pregnant with you.’
‘Only seventeen years old,’ Gustav chimed in, unnecessarily.
Faster than the speed of light, Harriet’s usually stable nerves had rushed up the scale to overwrought. She repressed a strong urge to point out that she was well aware of that fact, and had never demonstrated the smallest desire to be judgemental about the circumstances of her birth.
‘I should first tell you that the man who got me into trouble…’ Eva utilised that outdated phrase with a little
moue
of distaste ‘…is no longer alive.’
Harriet swallowed hard on a surge of piercing disappointment. It had never really occurred to her before that her birth father might be dead. Yet her conception had taken place nearly thirty years ago, she reminded herself.
‘He was a great deal older than I was…more than twice my age,’ Eva explained flatly. ‘But a very handsome and sophisticated man. He knew exactly how to make an impression on the naive young woman I was in those days.’
The silence spread and spread.
‘What happened?’ Harriet pressed.
‘I worked part-time in the village shop. Sometimes he came in to buy cigarettes, and we would laugh and chat. One day when it was raining he stopped to offer me a lift when I was walking
home. I was flattered by his interest,’ her mother divulged in a constricted voice, ‘and when he asked me to meet him of course it had to be a secret, because my father was very strict. I should have known better—’