Emancipating Andie (16 page)

She whipped her head toward him. “So you don’t think photography is a respectable thing to do?” she asked, her voice laced with resentment that was seemingly lost on Colin.

“It can be,” he said with a casual shrug, “for a select few. Rare talents. But is it a profession? I don’t think so. It’s an escape. Photographers, artists, writers, they’re all dreamers. Those are hobbies, not careers.”

And there it was.

She realized then that maybe she hadn’t told Colin about the fact that she was writing a novel not because she was ashamed that she was wasting her time, but because deep down, she knew that’s exactly what
he’d
think she was doing.

Andie stared at his profile, studying him as if she were seeing him for the first time. All at once she remembered Chase’s notion about how people judge other people’s happiness according to their own standards. She kept her eyes on him, the oddest feeling washing over her, like she was looking at a stranger.

“Are you happy?” she asked abruptly.

“Am I happy?” he repeated with a laugh, pulling his brow together, and Andie was suddenly reminded of something her mother used to say to her when she was young.

Anyone who repeats a question when they’re asked one is just buying time.

“Of course I’m happy,” he said with a smile, reaching over the console to take her hand. He brought it to his lips, kissing it gently before he flashed her a smile, bringing his eyes back to the road.

She sat there, her hand clasped in his, noticing that he didn’t ask her the same question in return. She wasn’t sure if it was lack of caring on his part, or the automatic assumption that she
was
happy which prevented him from asking, but to her, in that moment, both things were equally as offensive.

.

C
HAPTER
T
EN

C
hase watched the woman sitting next to him as she plucked the toothpick out of her martini glass and brought the olive to her lips. She lifted her eyes, making eye contact with him as she opened her mouth, her tongue slowly running along the bottom of the olive as she slid it off the toothpick and into her mouth. She chewed slowly, her eyes still locked on his, a small, seductive smile curving her lips.

What the hell was he doing here?

He had met this woman a few weeks ago at some tawdry open mic night, and before he’d left, she had given him her number. He thought she was sexy as hell in a dirty, provocative sort of way, and the way she had touched him as they spoke that night was a clear indicator of exactly why she was giving him her number. And although he had kept it since then, he never had any real intentions of calling her.

Until tonight.

He watched her twirling the toothpick between her fingers in a conspicuous attempt at being sexy, and he felt almost nauseated. Few things turned Chase off more than blatantly obvious attempts at being seductive. A girl who was inadvertently sexy, one who was totally unaware of her appeal, of the power that she wielded,
that
was what could drive him crazy with desire. Girls like that could bring him to his knees.

Girls like Andie.

He dropped his head slightly as he closed his eyes. Here he was with this beautiful woman who was clearly interested in giving him whatever he desired from her, and yet he could not get his mind off of his friend’s girlfriend.

He had decided to ask Colin to switch places at the last minute, a choice he questioned the entire plane ride home and throughout the week that followed. At the time he had convinced himself it was the smartest move; after what had almost happened between him and Andie on the dance floor the previous night, he thought it was in everyone’s best interest if they didn’t spend any more time alone together, at least not until they had some time away from whatever it was that had started to brew between them.

But when he forced himself to go upstairs and say good-bye to her—struggling under the pretense that everything was fine—the second he laid eyes on her, he wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision.

He could see in her eyes that she was confused, that she was hurt, although she tried her hardest not to let it show, and he wanted so much to reassure her, to let her know this had nothing to do with being upset with her, or not wanting to spend time with her.

It was exactly the opposite.

But there was no way for him to make it better. Colin was right there, within earshot of any conversation they might have. And even if he wasn’t, what could he say?
I think I’m falling for you, and I know I can’t have you, so it’s probably better if we don’t spend any more time together
?

He opened his eyes and took a slow sip of his drink, vaguely aware that the woman next to him was speaking, but he couldn’t find it in him to focus on the words. This date was supposed to distract him; on some subconscious level, Chase knew that he called this girl tonight because she was Andie’s exact opposite: jet-black hair that fell to her waist, tan skin, bedroom eyes, clothes that fit her like they were painted on. Everything about her screamed seductress; this girl was playing a game, dancing a dance that she had perfected, and they both knew it.

He had thought he was safe in choosing Andie’s complete antithesis, yet ironically, everything this woman did reminded him of her. When she cursed outright, the boorish words falling from her tongue with ease, he couldn’t help but think of how the corners of Andie’s mouth would turn down in disapproval and that little crease would appear between her brows whenever she heard someone use unnecessary profanity. When this woman looked at him with contrived doe eyes, trying to appear innocent while expressing her sexual prowess, he was reminded of how Andie could effortlessly disarm him with a simple look, her eyes wide and clear, hiding nothing. When this girl ordered a shot of bourbon and took it without so much as a shiver, he was reminded of Andie’s appalled reaction to the Lemon Drop, and he couldn’t help but smile.

And once she was in his head, it was virtually impossible to get her out; the floodgates would open, and he’d be assaulted with memories of her. The way she looked laughing and dripping wet as they climbed out of the lake, her clothes clinging to every curve of her body. The way she felt in his arms, pressed up against him as they danced. What it would have felt like if she’d put her mouth on his.

He let that fantasy go a little further, continuing to ignore the insipid, faceless girl who sat next to him, completely lost in his own thoughts.

It wasn’t long before he felt himself getting worked up, and he cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat, attempting to regain control of his thoughts. His date caught this awkward maneuver, a slow smile spreading over her lips. She was obviously quite pleased with herself, having no idea what it was really all about.

He had spent most of the night so far allowing her words to run right through him; he was grateful she had nothing of substance to say, because it required him to contribute very little to the conversation. A nod, a smile, a laugh here and there, and she was totally appeased. Now, he turned to face her, trying hard to focus on her face, on the present.

He watched her mouth moving, the words not really registering, and he sighed to himself. Hadn’t he told Andie that he prided himself on doing what he wanted, when he wanted? Hadn’t he told her that he refused to live his life for other people? That he learned to do what would make him happy, regardless of what others expected of him?

But this was different.

Fuck. Why did it have to be different?

This was Colin’s girlfriend. He couldn’t do this. Chase was fully aware that he sometimes came off as an asshole to people who didn’t know him, but the truth was, he wasn’t. Right now though, he wished he was. He wished he didn’t give a shit what kind of pain he’d cause Colin, because he wanted her. In every possible way that a person could want another.

The girl next to him paused in the conversation, and Chase nodded and smiled, causing her to laugh shrilly and flash him one of her seductive looks again.

Andie had to know, Chase thought. She had to know how he felt. He was sure he saw it in her eyes on Tybee Island, and almost positive he saw it on the dance floor, felt it in the way her body kept gravitating toward his.

He brought his drink to his lips, taking a slow sip. And she had to know that Colin wasn’t right for her, he ruminated, the alcohol in his system beginning to fuel his thoughts. Chase could tell what that relationship was about. She had even said it herself. Colin was her safe pick. Her life was about safe picks, but deep down, he knew she wanted more than that.

That night in South Carolina, as she slept beside him, he had gotten a glimpse inside her mind without her permission. And he knew now that there was much more to her than what she was letting on.

Plus, every time he had pushed her beyond her limit, although she would react uneasily at first, she always ended up thrilling to the idea. Relishing it, even. He wanted to be the one to keep opening her eyes like that, to give her all the things she wanted but wouldn’t admit to anyone, not even herself. He wanted to be the one she experienced things with, to show her that it was okay to just…
be
.

But he couldn’t. He would never do that to Colin. What was more, he’d never do that to
her
, to turn her into someone who was deceitful, disloyal.

But God, he could see himself with her.

He closed his eyes and brought his drink to his lips, and this time, as the image of being with Andie played out behind his eyelids, he let it. The alcohol was making him cavalier, and he was tired of fighting it. And so he let himself go in the fantasy, enjoying every last imagined, fabricated moment.

He had almost forgotten about the girl next to him until he felt her shift in her seat, and the next thing he was aware of was her hand grazing his crotch, the evidence of his arousal.

He cocked his head to the side, looking at her; she had one eyebrow raised, a wry smirk twisting her mouth. She bit the side of her lip then, no doubt trying to look coy.

“Well, well, well,” she said, her voice low and throaty. “It appears that someone’s enjoying my company.” She smiled then, bringing her lips to Chase’s ear, and he was immediately engulfed in some sort of overwhelming musky perfume. “Let’s get out of here, baby,” she crooned, allowing her teeth to graze the shell of his ear before she pulled away from him.

Chase looked down, running his tongue over his teeth, and he took a deep breath before he brought his drink to his mouth, taking down the last of it as if it were a shot.

Fuck it
, he thought, as he slammed his empty glass down on the bar and reached for her hand.

And so he drove them to his apartment, battling thoughts of Andie the entire way.
She’s with Colin
, he told himself as the girl stripped for him.
I’m not doing anything wrong. I have no reason to feel guilty
, he assured himself as she eagerly removed his clothes.

And when he entered her right there on his couch, he closed his eyes, trying to drown out the overdone, porn-like sounds spilling from her mouth, the show she was putting on for him. He imagined that the hair splayed out over the cushions was blonde. That the fingernails digging into his back were Andie’s. He disappeared within himself, allowing his mind to revisit his fantasy from the bar, only this time, he allowed himself to feel it. Feel Andie beneath him, feel her breath on his neck, feel their bodies connecting over and over. It wasn’t long before he found himself on the brink, and he grit his teeth together to prevent the word from spilling from his mouth.

Andromeda.

Beautiful.

.

C
HAPTER
E
LEVEN

A
ndie stood behind the bar at her father’s restaurant, a clipboard in her hand as her eyes scanned the shelves of liquor.

“This is ass backward, you know,” Tracey said, twisting back and forth on her bar stool like a child as she sipped her Cosmo through a straw.

“What is?” Andie said, lifting her eyes for a moment.