Authors: C. C. Wood
It seemed that
my decision to forget about my infatuation with Charles Faulkner meant that I wouldn’t be able to avoid the subject. I went downstairs to meet Tanya for lunch. We walked to the bistro around the corner, bought our lunch, then I stopped at Starbucks for a quadruple shot non-fat caffé mocha. Tanya gave me a searching look when she heard my order.
We came back to our building and found an empty table in the atrium. With so many offices housed in the high rise, they had a coffee shop near the front entrance and seating in the atrium. Though we usually brought or purchased our lunch elsewhere (the coffee shop was typically packed at lunchtime), the girls and I did enjoy eating in the open area, talking and people watching.
As soon as we were settled, Tanya opened the lid on her spinach salad and casually asked, “Is something bothering you?”
I was just about to take a bite of my club sandwich, but I paused at her question. “No, I’m fine.” I stared at her. “Why do you ask?”
She uncapped her bottle of sparkling water and took a sip before she answered. “Well, you only order a quadruple caffé mocha when you’re feeling down in the dumps. Otherwise it’s a hazelnut latte or caramel macchiato.”
I realized that she was right. Even my coffee order was giving me away. I shrugged and took a huge bite of my sandwich so I wouldn’t have to speak. Tanya, being a divorce attorney, immediately recognized the stall tactic.
Arching a brow, she fixed her piercing grey eyes on me. “You do realize that I can recognize a lie when I hear one, right? I mean, I see liars and cheats in my office on a daily basis. I also see deluded men and women, and you, my dear, are in denial if you think there’s nothing on your mind.”
My appetite departed abruptly. I put down my sandwich and sipped my mocha. “I feel like an idiot,” I muttered.
Tanya’s expression became sympathetic. “What’s the problem, Yancy?”
With a sigh, I told her about my unexpected crush on Charles and the
almost kiss
I imagined in the stairwell. My cheeks heated as I explained everything. At the age of thirty-one, I felt as confused and awkward as a thirteen year old girl. When I finished, Tanya didn’t speak, only sipped her water and appeared to contemplate my words.
Finally, she spoke, “So what are you going to do about it?”
I blinked several times. That wasn’t the response I was expecting. While Tanya wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, I thought she would express at least a modicum of understanding. Maybe even a little sympathy.
“I can’t do anything, Tanya. We work together,” I answered.
“Does your company have an official policy on fraternization?”
I shook my head.
“Then, I repeat, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not going to do anything! Jesus, I’m not even sure if he’s attracted to me, so this entire conversation is just a waste of time. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Now I saw the sympathy I expected earlier. “Nothing like the fear of rejection, is there?” she asked. “Especially since your ex-husband seems to have mastered the art of escape and evade.”
I squirmed in my chair as her words perfectly expressed the crux of the matter. The fact that Charles and I worked together wasn’t even the major obstacle. It was my own fear of rejection. Cooper Stevens abandoned more than his sick daughter when he left. He ran away from me too. As much as I hated to admit it, that screwed up my self-confidence and my ability to trust in others and, most especially, myself.
Tanya leaned forward and grabbed my hand. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do. Just promise me that you won’t let the actions of your fuckwad of an ex keep you from finding something better. Will you give it some thought?”
I nodded.
She released my hand. “Okay, enough of the girlie shit. I’m too hungry for that.”
I laughed. Her little pep talk had restored my hunger for food, even though it hadn’t cleared up much of my confusion. Still, I appreciated her efforts. We chatted about inconsequential things as we ate, settling into our usual sarcastic banter.
As we carried our empty cartons to the trash, I spied Charles coming out of the coffee shop. My heart began to beat a little faster as he smiled and walked toward us.
“And who is that heading in our direction?” Tanya asked me under her breath.
I cursed my fair complexion as I felt the blood rising into my cheeks. “That’s Charles.”
“He’s very handsome.”
“I know,” I muttered just before he got within earshot.
“Hi, Yancy.” He grinned down at me as he spoke, that damned dimple appearing in his cheek.
“Hi, Charles.” I gestured toward Tanya. “This is my friend, Tanya Blake. She works at the law firm on the twentieth floor.”
He turned his high wattage smile to her, taking her hand when she offered it. “Nice to meet you, Tanya. I’m Charles Faulkner.”
She gave his hand a firm shake. “Pleasure, Charles.” Before the silence became awkward, Tanya looked at me. “I almost forgot. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Charles took the subtle hint. “I’ll see you in a half hour, Yancy. I’m going to grab a quick lunch.”
Relieved, I said, “Great. Do you need a little more time? I don’t mind postponing the meeting until two.”
He shook his head, already stepping back. “No, it’s fine. I’ll grab something and be back in plenty of time.” He nodded to Tanya. “Bye, Tanya.”
She tilted her head in response. We watched as he walked away and she leaned over to whisper in my ear. “I don’t think you have to worry about the attraction issue. It’s definitely mutual.”
I rolled my eyes. “Why do you say that?”
Tanya scoffed. “Please, a man that’s not attracted to you doesn’t make a point to stop and say hello when he sees you. If he’s not interested, he waves and moves on.” She chuckled a little. “He also doesn’t stare at you the way Charles did.”
I scowled at her. “How did he stare at me?”
Her chuckle was louder. “Like he was wondering what was underneath the blouse you’re wearing.”
“I think you need to have your vision checked,” I quipped. “Now, I have a couple of things to do in the next thirty minutes, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
As I walked toward the stairwell, Tanya followed. “Be sure to touch up your perfume and lipstick. And maybe pop a mint or two. You never know what can happen during a meeting.”
I rolled my eyes. “As if. You would never behave so unprofessionally.” As soon as I saw the look on her face, I stopped walking. “Tanya? What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. And don’t be so sure about what I would or wouldn’t do, Yancy. Especially for the right man.”
While I struggled to find the right words to respond, Tanya squeezed my hand. “There’s no time for my long lost history right now. We’ll talk about it another time.” With that, she strode toward the elevators on her stilettos, once again looking like the polished woman I knew.
As I entered the stairwell and headed up to the fourth floor, I wondered about what had happened with Tanya. I had known her for several years, but had never seen that look on her face. It had been wistful, bittersweet, and sad. So very sad. She said we would talk about it later, but I sensed that was her own masterful stall tactic to avoid the subject.
On autopilot, I stopped by the ladies room on the way to my office and touched up my make-up. Unlike Tanya, I only wore a light coat of gloss on my lips that typically wore off by mid-morning. I even took out my travel size perfume and dabbed a little behind my ears and in the hollow of my throat.
As I finished, my thoughts were still on Tanya. I wanted to ask Lucy or Grier if they knew anything, but that seemed like gossip, something I would never do to a friend. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my friend needed my help. She was the boldest and brashest of the group. Tanya was sharp, tough, and sly. All the things that were a necessity in a good divorce attorney.
I also knew that those characteristics tended to hide Tanya’s softer side. She talked a good game, but most of her clients were women trying to escape from bad marriages. Tanya did everything in her power to make sure they didn’t walk away with nothing. She rarely talked about her work because of client confidentiality issues, but I knew enough.
I sighed and put away my make-up. I knew I couldn’t talk to Lucy or Grier about this, it would be too much like gossiping behind her back. If she wanted to talk, Tanya would come to me. I just hoped that she did.
O
nce I finished
my touch up, I went back to my office and skimmed the files. I double and triple-checked my work yesterday and this morning, but I couldn’t resist one more quick look. Maybe it was obsessive. I didn’t care. I was determined to make a good impression.
I saved my work, backed it up on a thumb drive, and even emailed a copy of the file to Charles. I didn’t want to risk losing anything after the hours I’d invested over the last few days. Gathering my laptop, thumb drive, and a notebook, I headed to Charles’ office.
The door was open so I stuck my head around the corner to see Charles at his desk. His jacket was hanging on the back of his chair and he had his shirtsleeves rolled up. My gaze lingered on the play of muscles and tendons in his forearms as he scrawled something on a notepad.
I must have made a noise because his head came up and he smiled. “Hey, come on in.”
Charles stood and moved several stacks of paper so I would have a place to set my computer. As I settled, he walked to the door and shut it. I noticed two Starbucks cups on his desk. I jumped slightly as he leaned over me and picked one up, setting it beside my laptop.
“Caramel macchiato, right?”
I suppressed a shiver as his warm breath touched my ear, unable to focus on anything but his proximity and the scent of his skin, which smelled of citrus and clean linens. “What?”
He straightened and walked around the desk, loosening his tie as he went. “You drink caramel macchiato, right?”
The sight of his long fingered hands removing his tie made my belly feel as though it were twisted into knots. I cleared my throat and blinked to banish the sudden image of Charles removing a lot more than his tie.
“Yes. I drink almost any kind of coffee.”
He grinned, tossing his tie over his jacket on the back of the chair. “Well, I thought we could both use a boost this afternoon after the long hours we’ve been putting in this week.”
I picked up the cup. “Thanks.”
I handed him the thumb drive and we began the tedious process of collating the information. He came around the desk several times to compare notes. His hand would brush my spine as he rested it on the back of my chair. I tried to ignore the heat that suffused my muscles with every touch and focus on the work. I shifted in my seat, which only made it worse, because it put less space between us.
Finally, two hours later, we were done. I stood and stretched, trying to work the tension out of my back muscles. I gathered up my things, desperately ready to escape back to my office after two hours of intense concentration. It had taken all my willpower to remain focused on our work instead of the waves of heat I felt every time Charles even brushed my skin.
“Yancy?”
I glanced up at Charles and stilled. After my conversation with Tanya at lunch, I was able to recognize the look in his eyes, but it was something I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was appreciation. Male appreciation for a woman he found attractive.
He started to say something, but my cell phone buzzed on the desk. I glanced at the screen and saw it was Kathy.
“I’m sorry, Charles. Please give me a moment. It’s my daughter’s babysitter.” I slid my thumb across the screen to answer.
I turned my back on Charles as Kathy explained that Carolena seemed to be coming down with a bug. She was running a fever and had a stuffy nose and cough. My heart sank at her words. With cystic fibrosis, even a small cold could potentially lead to a hospital stay. Carolena’s body created too much mucus which created a breeding ground for bacteria, it was very easy for her to catch colds and it took her twice as long to recover.
I disconnected and started grabbing my things. “I’m sorry, Charles. I have to go. My daughter is sick.”
“I understand. I’ll get the files to Judith and see you later.” He came around the desk and opened the office door for me.
“Thanks.”
On my way home, I realized that Charles never told me what was on his mind.