Read Drunk With Blood Online

Authors: Steve Wells

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Drunk With Blood

Copyright

© 2010 by Steve Wells

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

http://DrunkWithBlood.com
 

http://SkepticsAnnotatedBible.com

http://DwindlingInUnbelief.blogspot.com

Print Version:

LCCN: 2010931807

ISBN 10: 145366291X

ISBN 13: 9781453662915

Table of Contents

Introduction

How many did God kill?

Who has killed more, Satan or God?

Estimated totals: Satan and God

How many more will God kill?

A note about the title

God’s Killings in the Bible

1. The Flood of Noah: All flesh died that moved upon the earth

2. Abraham’s war to rescue Lot

3. Sodom and Gomorrah: Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do?

4. Remember Lot’s wife (Forget Jesus)

5. Er was wicked in the sight of the Lord (so the Lord slew him)

6. Onan spilled it on the ground (so the Lord killed him too)

7. God’s seven year, world-wide famine

8. The seventh plague of Egypt: Hail shall come down upon them and they shall die

9. The Lord smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt

10. The Lord took off their chariot wheels

11. The Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation

12. Who is on the Lord’s side: Forcing friends and family to kill each other

13. The Lord plagued the people because of the calf that Aaron made

14. God burns Aaron’s sons to death for offering “strange fire”

15. A blasphemer is stoned to death

16. When the people complained, God burned them to death

17. While the flesh was still between their teeth, the Lord smote them with a very great plague

18. Ten scouts are killed for their honest report

19. A man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day

20. The opposing party is buried alive (along with their families)

21. God burns 250 people to death for burning incense

22. God killed 14,700 for complaining about God’s killings

23. The massacre of the Aradites

24. God sent fiery serpents to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water

25. Phinehas' double murder: A killing to end God’s killing

26. The Midianite massacre: Have you saved all the women alive?

27. God slowly killed the Israelite army

28. God the giant killer

29. God hardens King Sihon’s heart so that all his people can be killed

30. All the men, women, and children in 60 cities

31. The Jericho massacre

32. Achan and his family are stoned and burned to death

33. The Ai massacre

34. God stops the sun so that Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight

35. Five kings are killed and hung on trees

36. Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed as the Lord God commanded

37. The genocide of twenty kingdoms

38. The Anakim: Some more giant killing

39. The Lord delivered the Canaanites and the Perizzites

40. The Jerusalem massacre

41. Five massacres, a wedding, and some God-proof iron chariots

42. The Lord delivered Chushanrishathaim

43. Ehud delivers a message from God

44. God delivers 10,000 lusty Moabites

45. Shamgar killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad

46. Barak and God massacre the Canaanites

47. Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man’s skull

48. Gideon's story: The Lord set every man’s sword against his fellow

49. A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God’s evil spirit

50. The Ammonite massacre

51. Jephthah’s daughter

52. 42,000 killed for failing the “shibboleth” test

53. The spirit of the Lord came upon Samson and he murdered thirty men for their clothes

54. The spirit of the Lord came upon Samson and he killed 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass

55. Samson killed 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack

56. A holy civil war (It had something to do with rotting, concubine-body part messages)

57. The end of Judges: Two genocides and 200 stolen virgins

58. God kills Eli’s sons and 34,000 Israelite soldiers

59. God smote them with hemorrhoids in their secret parts

60. 50,070 killed for looking into the ark of the Lord

61. The Lord thundered great thunder upon the Philistines

62. Another Ammonite massacre (and another God-inspired, body-part message)

63. Jonathan’s very first slaughter (not counting the one before)

64. God forces the Philistines to kill each other

65. The Amalekite genocide

66. Samuel hacks Agag to death before the Lord

67. In the valley of Elah: Goliath

68. David buys a wife with 200 Philistine foreskins

69. The Lord said to David, Go and smite the Philistines

70. God killed Nabal (and David got his wife and other stuff)

71. David commits random acts of genocide (as a mercenary for the Philistines)

72. David spends the day killing Amalekites

73. God killed Saul (and his sons and soldiers) for not killing all the Amalekites

74. David killed the messenger

75. David killed Rechab and Baanah, cut off their hands and feet, and hung their bodies over the pool

76. God helps David smite the Philistines from the front and the rear

77. God killed Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling

78. David killed two-thirds of the Moabite POWs and enslaved the rest

79. The Lord gave David victory wherever he went

80. David killed every male in Edom

81. Thus did David unto all the children of Ammon

82. God slowly kills a baby

83. Famine and human sacrifice: Seven sons of Saul are hung up before the Lord

84. David’s mighty men and their amazing killings

85. God killed 70,000 because David had a census that God (or Satan) told him to do

86. Solomon carried out the deathbed wish of David by having Joab and Shimei murdered

87. A tale of two prophets

88. Jeroboam’s son: God kills another child

89. Jeroboam’s family

90. Baasha’s family and friends

91. Zimri burns to death

92. The drought of Elijah

93. Elijah kills 450 religious leaders in a prayer contest

94. The first God-assisted slaughter of the Syrians

95. God killed 100,000 Syrians for calling him a god of the hills

96. God killed 27,000 Syrians by making a wall fall on them

97. God sent a lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet

98. God killed Ahab for not killing a captured king

99. God burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill

100. God killed Ahaziah (of Israel) for asking the wrong God

101. God sent two bears to rip apart 42 boys for making fun of a prophet’s bald head

102. The Lord delivered the Moabites

103. A skeptic is trampled to death

104. God’s seven year famine

105. Jehoram of Israel

106. Jezebel

107. Ahab’s sons: Seventy heads in two heaps

108. Ahab’s hometown family, friends, and priests

109. Jehu killed Ahaziah’s family

110. Jehu and his partner show their zeal for the Lord by killing the rest of Ahab’s family

111. Jehu assembles the followers of Baal and then slaughters them all

112. The priest of Baal and Queen Athaliah

113. God sent lions to eat those that didn’t fear him enough

114. An angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers

115. God caused King Sennacherib to be killed by his sons

116. Josiah killed all the priests of the high places

117. Just another holy war

118. God killed a half million Israelite soldiers

119. Jeroboam

120. God killed a million Ethiopians

121. Friendly Fire: God forced “a great multitude” to kill each other

122. God made Jehoram’s bowels fall out

123. God killed Jehoram’s sons

124. Ahaziah (of Judah)

125. Joash, the princes, and army of Judah

126. God destroyed Amaziah

127. God smote Ahaz with the king of Syria

128. God killed 120,000 valiant men for forsaking him

129. The fall of Jerusalem

130. God and Satan kill Job’s children and slaves

131. Hananiah

132. Ezekiel’s wife

133. Ananias and Sapphira

134. Herod Aggripa

135. Jesus

Afterword

A list of God’s killings (with biblical numbers and estimates)

List of Illustrations

About the author

Introduction

A few years ago, I started to document God’s killings at my blog,
Dwindling in Unbelief
. I began with Genesis and worked my way through the Bible, writing a post for each killing event and keeping a running count of the number of victims as I went along. I don’t think it’s ever been done before, which is a shame, since God is so proud of his killings.

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