Dragon Frost (14 page)

I know
that some can be trusted others are just far too sick, they I
believe, should be put down like the dogs they are. Then again I’ve
been like this ever since I can remember; I grew up in the system
on Earth. Unsure of what type of house I would run into but now
that I was old enough and strong enough to stand on my own two feet
I will kill any man or woman that dares threaten my life—I am a
warrior after all—by blood.

I move my
horse through the crowd, ignoring the helpless looks thrown to me.
I need to meet up with the General. He would shed some light on why
our Order was attacked and if he doesn’t, I may walk right out of
their hands. I knew they needed me, they knew I am just as good—if
not better than their men. I have no choice. War is a blood bath,
one way or another everyone is desperate. We had left immediately;
still we couldn’t have left soon enough.

I wanted
to turn around and search the old castle once more but then I
realise, this is may be for the best, Varden may be in the tent and
I kick myself for even caring. I’m attracted to him, I state to
myself not in thought, the last thing I want is for Altair to kill
him. I don’t fear for myself, it’s Varden I fear for. I’ve known
Altair my whole life and he was never the one to be violent or
controlling with people he loved. I glance over my shoulder and
notice Altair’s gaze is on me, I smile and he returns the gesture.
Turning back to face the tent, I suddenly feel tense. Why is
that?

As we
urge our horses through the crowd of people who slowly but
gradually part—way for us. Our horses mount the uneven terrain that
leads to the large red tent. There I knew is where the Security
Barbs were and several survivors. I demount my horse and stalk
towards the tent, two men stand on either side of the red and gold
entrance. The colours stand out against the snow, covering the
ground. I pull out my badge, they nod their heads and we enter.
“About time you came.” grumbles a deep voice. I turn to the sound
to see General Gareth staring at me. His dark brown eyes are small
on his, large, sharp, face.

He is not
as young as he used to be. “Thought you’d be glad we came.” I
remark. His grey short but thick bearded moves, I know from the
twinkle in his eyes he is smiling at my words and my impassive
expression.

“
I see
you haven’t changed.”

“
Why
would I change?” I quirk a brow only to have him, gently bubble
with laughter it had been sometime since I’ve seen him laugh let
alone smile—in a way it’s good to see a spread of happiness through
him even if it only temporary.

“
Because
it isn’t easy for a woman in this world.” he comments his face
returning to a frown, his brows are furrowed in concentration, his
eyes are dark with intimidation. I know that all too well not that
it concerns me.

“
It isn’t
easy for a woman anywhere.” I retort. We are nothing but objects of
favor. I despise what they believe to be weak and useless when it
is the very thing that keeps their race well going. What use is a
species without reproduction? What use is a man without a woman?
What is a use of it all without respect? I enter the large tent
where wooden tables and benches are filled with men who watch me
with possessive desire and I scowl at them. Then again . . . I know
not all men are bad, just these idiots before me.

Several
look away while others shake their heads and continue to gaze at
me, forgetting—I could dice them where they sit. I feel Altair move
beside me, several or should I say most turn away instantly. It is
at times like this I am happy to have Altair or Dante around. “Men,
would normally take what they please without any disregard for the
pernicious consequences.” I say not in reference to this man but
those of Earth and their world—Climate Change.

Meeting
gazes of all the men who appear stoic at my words before I rest my
gaze of Gareth. He meets my gaze with a threatening glance that I
brush off with no problem, Altair shifts between us and I hold him
back. I would not have him shield me in front of a General I will
not be given that security. 
Some men still have a lot to
learn.
 I think.
Altair returns beside me close enough to push me aside or pull me
if the need be. “The Castle was attacked because we had recently
acquired a new possession.” he says turning the matter before
away.

“
What
possession may that be?” I question still meeting his gaze. After a
long pause, his eyes pull away from mine where he turns to pure
some ail from a large flask into a metal mug. His large hand wraps
around the mug making it appear smaller than what it actually was.
I appear fairly dainty compared to the men but I don’t complain up
until now. I scold myself for my physical stature at the moment
before he places the mug down after he engulfed the
fluid.

“
The
Prince,”

“
The
Prince, what?” I ask. His eyes narrow down on me.

“
You
didn’t know did you?” he questions. I glance at Altair with
confusion and he refuses to meet my gaze. I turn my attention to
Vedric who regards the General with disorientation. I storm through
the forest, twigs snap forcefully under my boots, my anger fuming
within me. “Kal!” I hear Altair call. “Kal!” he continues but I
ignore him until I’m stormed far from the edge of the forest. I
turn around and growl at Altair.

“
You
knew! You and everyone! I was the only one left in the dark!” I
snap forcing him back where he stumbles. I shove him harder, until
his back is up against a near tree. “I trusted you!” I yell. “Why
did you betray me?” I cry and his eyes are dark. He doesn’t say
anything. Realizing I’m yet to lose control of myself I take a step
back or a few and sit down on the nearby boulder. I turn my back on
him.

The air
is filled with a shattering silence which comforts my aching heart.
I can’t believe what they did; I can’t believe I let this happen. I
recall that same conversation as we were still engaged in it. “I
never betrayed you!” he barks back. “I had no choice.”

“
Since
when do you do as the Chief says?” I growl and he glares icy blue
daggers my way not that I would waver. I stop myself.

“
Then
why?”

“
Why
what?”

“
Why the
secrets?” I express slowly. “Why the lies? Why the deceit? Did you
believe you could not trust me?” I retort.

“
You know
why we couldn’t!” he snaps now standing before me his eyes glower
on me and I take a step back. The reality hit me, I’ve done what
they’ve done, and I’m the one that brought this on. I had no right
to be mad, how can I? When my whole life to those who don’t truly
know me is nothing more than a lie. “Kalverya I’m sorry.” he
whispers. I hold up my hand which effectively cuts him
off.

“
Don’t be
sorry.” I confess. I deserved it at least I never
cried 
wolf
! I’m the
one that can’t be trusted my credentials and my identity is the
truth but my walls, my guards are nothing but lies. I would use it
to hurt others only because I didn’t want to be close to
people—feared being hurt. The system really screwed me up, this is
my own fault and it’s because of my stupid emotional defence.
‘
You’re right
I can’t be trusted.’
 I think and his face blanks. ‘
I’ve never lied to you though. I had
no reason to. With that in the air between us I leave, I don’t even
glance back. How could I?’
 It was true what I said I never had any reason to lie
to Altair because I felt safe.

I sit in
the cliffs high above the forest, why I always seem to find myself
in high places really is odd, I’ll be here always. It is my way of
closing off the world around me, I never meant to snap at Altair
like that but I knew in the end it really couldn’t be helped. The
decision was made and I’m to be no apart of his life. Varden will
have to walk his own way and mine . . . my own. Anyway, if he is a
Prince he’s born to be with someone other than me. The thought
aches but I brush it off and turn to the presence behind me.
“Thought I would find you here.” says a familiar female voice. I
don’t turn over to greet her, she knows me all too well. “I see you
have another problem.”

She
stands beside me, her blue fleecy gown draped over her front and
rear which fall to the grounds, blue scales wrap themselves around
her from head to toe while her gown falls around her like slightly
transparent curtains. Her silver hair is long down to the back of
her knees. I look out to the distant ranges. “Why do I do this to
myself?”

“
It is in
you.” she says and I know what she means.

My name.

That name
ever since I can remember has brought me
 
nothing but suffering and pain.
 
My heart tortured by those around me to the point
where it is completely irreparable. “He reminds you of him, doesn’t
he?” I nod, the words wouldn’t leave my mouth. I fell for a human
man long time ago, he was someone I could never have and yet that
didn’t barricade my heart but in the end, I never had what I wanted
and maybe I never will. I had never even known if he returned those
feelings—such a pity. “Beings in this universe are cruel. You know
that. All they want is possessions; power, money and beauty. They
forgot their original purpose all too quickly and yet you allow
them to pull you down, why?” she asks.

“
I don’t
know. Maybe because I deserve it?”

“
Wrong!”
she says. “No one deserves any of this. No one deserves pain. Yet
it’s there. No one deserves oxygen yet it is there. No one deserves
to be alone and yet they are. In the shadows. Some have unfound
potential like you and others we’ll they aren’t something I
expected to see. They know 
not
 the term: “respect”?” she churns with disgust and I
release a gentle giggle. Nerelda always made me feel better. She
too is given a job by the God to protect and guide our people and
here I am here centuries later alone and in pain. Everyone believes
that there is more to life yet some believe we were given a greater
purpose. Still even if that is so . . . we still deserve the
contentment in our lives—something that takes forever to
ascertain.

“
Why?” I
ask.

“
Why
what?” she peers with a tone high. The end of the sentence is
brought up to emphasise her confusion. I don’t say anything and she
continues because she’s good at that. “The reason why you are the
way you are is not because the god or your parents hate you or even
those lowly people you see every day of your life but instead; I
believe, this is just a theory mind you . . . I believe that you
can carry the world on your shoulders, carry their burdens and
pain, still give back to those who can’t or never will be able to
afford any more than oxygen while others you protect. I don’t know
about you but I believe those are the qualities of
a 
real
 leader.” She lifts me to my feet and I turn to face
her, her hands remove my helmet and it vanishes but I know it’s not
completely gone. She traces my forehead where my seven point star
mark sits. “Remember that. That is what we were looking for in the
past to show us the right way to go. That is what will lead us
should you give the word we will follow.” she says and I shake my
head.

“
I don’t
want people to follow me; I don’t want people believing in me. I’ll
just let them down in the end you know I’m a notorious liar. People
won’t expect anything more from me.” I say she gives me a playful
look as her blood red lips pull themselves into a smile.

“
I do
because you’ve never let me down nor have you lied to me. When my
life was in danger and our people slaves who saved us?” That’s
rhetorical. “When others were afraid of the darkness you stood
first not because you weren’t scared but because you had nothing to
lose. And remember those men in the woods. You could have left them
to die but you didn’t and sent them to court for their
crimes.”

Nerelda
continues, “There are both good and bad qualities in you and in
everyone but for you dear child this is something you must learn to
balance. If you can’t be a leader than give people the reason to
stand in the face of fear and danger.” I smile at her and wrap my
arms around her. It’s been a long time since I’ve had this kind of
warmth and I can’t help but close my eyes and indulge in it if I
can. “Everyone has a path, everyone has their particular reason
they are born. You just have to find out your reason.” I pull
myself from her and lift my hand where she places my helmet
securely on my palm. “Now, enough of that you ready?” she asks and
I raise my brow.

“
For
what?” I question as I pull on my helmet.

“
What do
you mean for what? To return you home.” she says
enthusiastically.

Home is
all I can think of, it was and is my place, and it is where I made
myself belong. Not on Earth. Even though I grew up there I always
felt out of place but Nephelia is where my father was from and my
mother, that is my home and the Nefaliem is my heritage. I want to
go home I really do. “Nerelda . . . ” I trail off unsure how to
approach this.

“
But you
want to stay.” she finishes. I scowl.